Dis Ting Won't Be On Setanta - the SPL 2009/10 thread

So, the proper part of the season kicks off in earnest tonight with Celtic's first Champions League qualifier against Dinamo Moscow. Motherwell are still in Europe, Falkirk aren't. Barry Ferguson has gone away, and Chris Killen is Celtic's form striker. Marvellous Marvin Andrews is back in the SPL, and we're going to have to pay lots of money if we want to watch it all.

Post your mental theories, ill-thought-out opinions, and gratuitous digs at Hearts here. And sign up for the Predictor once it's back on again.

Also, should have asked opinions on thread titles because of the sterling work being done over on the big boys' thread.

It made me chuckle anyway.

Needs more Livi references.

Was pointed out to me yesterday that Chris Innes was captain of Gretna when they went tits up, and went on to become captain of Livingston. That's a set of career moves that would put me to shame, and I'd pay his taxi fare myself if he decided to rock up at Murray Park any day soon.

Wasn't he being considered for a transfer to the MLS for a hot second right around the Gretna demise? We probably should have run with that.

He was, yes, he could have brought his powers of destruction overseas as well. Chris Innes, DESTROYER OF WORLDS!

Considering he was trying out with the Metros here in New Jersey, I'm not so sorry. At the time, he seemed like a good idea we mystifyingly just let go.

thought n'guemo looked tidy tonight, compact, hungry, and not wasteful

fortune looked v.flat footed imo

u still stand by ur belief in donati, ailsa?

also ws boruc always tht fat?

Yes, I still stand by my belief in Donati. Thought N'Guemo looked like a cross between Evander Sno and Thomas Graveson. Continue to think that Fortune looks like Kenny Miller. Am not convinced that the best use for the left back we've all been crying out for for two years is to play him as a midfielder (as onimo pointed out to me, we spent years trying to turn midfielders into left backs. We finally get a left back and what do we do with him...seriously, had enough of this square pegs in round holes shite already). Would like to smack Aiden McGeady upside his head for leaving Hinkel stranded for the goal. Not terribly impressed with the change to route one hoof it up to the big lads football after Killen and Samaras came on, especially since they'd brought on Danny Fox for, er, what was it again?

Bizarre team selections, puzzling tactics, intense pressure ruined by inability to finish and a worrying tendency to cave in on the break. It's like last season never went away. Ah, it's good to be back.

That said, there were some positives, mostly from Maloney. Still maintain all we really need on our coaching staff is a dude with a megaphone to yell "blooter it!" every time the ball falls to a player at the edge of the box, rather this hesitant no-you-have-it pish (not that it didn't stop everyone falling about laughing when Lee Naylor tried an audacious shot from just over the halfway line which possibly ended with the ball over in Moscow ready for the next leg). Seriously, they showed some video clips of John Hartson before the game, perhaps they should have shown them to the entire squad instead.

God, I'm wishing for John Hartson back. This can't be good, can it?

def far tmfd on the edge box tonight

RIP Paul McGrillen

Something very eerie about four players from one squad in a game I remember very clearly all dying before their 40th birthday.

Jeezo, the Team of Doom

Bad day all round for Motherwell really, getting spanked 3-0 off Steaua Bucharest. Aberdeen even worse off, losing 5-1 at home to Sigma Olomouc.

Livingston haven't gone bust. Yet.

Livi must stay alive to keep the kkk kuntz in division 2.
All football fans should have a whipround to keep livi up.

With all due to respect to Celtic's European away record, does that mean Scotland effectively down to one team left in Europe before the end of July? That's got to be a record.

^gloating rangers fan pops in

revenge for posts a year ago i guess

right, I'm sueing

What have the second division done to deserve them more? What difference does it make which division they're in?

xposts

the lower the division the better for them

It's only our group stages away record that's shit, fwiw. We've won a CL qualifier away from home (Ajax in the Amsterdam Arena).

According to the sun , rangers have put in a bid of £170,000 for James McArthur. Hopefully ronnie tells them to fuck off.

Confident Celtic will win in Moscow, Ailsa?

All the teams have to go through pre-qualifying next year I think, so this is not good. I don't understand how the recent good runs have faded away so quickly

I think Celtic *can* win in Moscow. Public displays of absolute confidence on the internet are for morons.

Game being re-run right now on BBC Alba for those who can get it, and those who care.

the whole "shouldnt let the winners of scottish/league cups into europe ,let the highest placed teams in the league get the place instead" argument wouldnt make any difference as they tend to get knocked out before the 1st proper round too.
xposts

I was going to say that at least they lose to proper teams from proper countries, but I hadn't noticed that Pierre Littbarski manages that mob from Liechtenstein's second-largest town.

I posted that on the last thread, because I am queen of shite football trivia.

I realise I am basing my view of FC Vaduz's credibility entirely on the involvement of a bloke's cool name from my football sticker days

Yeah, was going to say, bit like going "hey, John Barnes scored a great goal or two in his day, Celtic are bound to win the Champions League now", innit?

Dan Fox is on BBC Alba right now going "yeah, I have Scottish grandparents, I played for England U-21s, but it was only friendlies, can I have a Scotland cap please?"

Paul McGrillen's death was suicide, according to a couple of the papers today.

So, Rangers pwned by Arsenal. Quelle surprise. Davie Weir is hilarious. Rangers fans giving it big licks with the still-illegal, still-not-being-policed-very-well famine song, and being lauded by the Sky commentators for bringing fun and a party atmosphere to the game. I take they haven't broken North London yet then?

Am all in favour of games being on BBC Alba btw. Unintelligible teuchters >>>> unintelligent Scott Booth.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/2568371/Derek-Riordan-arrested-for-a-breach-of-the-peace.html

Poor wee Deek still getting "picked on". When he was in Glasgow he didn't even get picked :P

Slopping out still standard practice in Embra?

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00858/SNA0307AA-280_858893a.jpg

what a noob

If Darren MacCormack is anything to go by, DEEKVOLUTION of more than one type.

MOGGAVOLUTION!

With all due to respect to Celtic's European away record, does that mean Scotland effectively down to one team left in Europe before the end of July? That's got to be a record.

pwned!

Up next, Arsenal, Atletico Madrid, Fiorentina, Lyon or Stuttgart. Scared? Nah. (OK, just a wee bit)

I think Arsenal would rip us apart. From what I've seen of the others in the past couple of seasons I think we'd have a chance but would probably struggle. We're guaranteed Europa League group stages if we lose though, aren't we?

Fortune for Brown: strange but effective substitution. Sami remains an enigma but for the moment I'm happy he's with us. N'Guemo could be a great acquisition. Donati still doing a not bad job of keeping himself in Mogga's good books.

Yep, minimum of Europa Lolgue group stages now. Mostly impressed with everyone today, which is rare for me.

I had also completely forgotten that there was a Scotland game next week, talking of lolz. Caldwell brothers + any version of inexperienced goalie vs Route One John Carew. Expect several mentions of Chris Iwulemo's sitter the last time we played them from every lolcommentator ever.

Or Iwelumo, if you prefer.

Crikey, I wasn't expecting that. I'll just tuck my tail between my legs and slink off now.

no, no, that's exactly the sort of form that'll still put you above me in the predictor!

Oh, and cheerio-ish to Livingston, relegated to the third division, where the huge crowds will surely ease their financial woes. This keeps Airdrie United up, which I'm sure will please Kerr no end. Also means Cowdenbeath go up to the heady heights of the second division.

The Blue... erm... Clyde.

I still find it amusing to refer to Brazil as the Yellow Cowdenbeath, which probably says more about me than I should admit in public.

I would love to be proved wrong. I was massively distracted by January's "here are some proper players! yay! let's forget that Mowbray doesn't have a scooby!" for a whole 24 hours before they got whupped by the mighty Killie, so I'm trying not to fall for it again. But surely an ex reserve coach, an ex youth coach, a TV pundit and a painter and decorator know exactly what they are doing....the mentor idea seems to have fallen by the wayside with the glamour introduction of, um, Charlie Mulgrew.

http://www.celticfc.net/news/stories/news_120710095620.aspx

Ledley signs for Celtic.

Why does this kid have his head in a frame?
http://www.celticfc.net/NetFrame_Client/1_0_0/Pages/DisplayImage.aspx?resourceID=448923cb-7703-45af-b5d2-8e9c1b9bd6c2

World-class star Heskey to ditch Villa for Celtic?

I heard the Heskey rumour yesterday, still haven't stopped shuddering.

Kevin Thomson from Rangers to Boro in exchange for Skippy is doing the rounds atm.

Of course, Heskey would probably be good in the SPL, but...

Don't see any reason to think he would be. Most shit players from other countries turn out to be still shit when they get here.

<3 frame-head kid. Also think <3 Joe Ledley. Very much do not <3 Emile Heskey, would rather we kept Samaras.

(Skippy to Rangers would be minor lolz for about ten seconds before realising he's quite a good striker and I'd rather they didn't have another one of them)

Bits of the internet reporting that Artur Boruc has gone to Fiorentina.

Proper actual sadface :-(

He's had his moments, sure, but pound for pound (and he's had a lot of them, the big pie-muncher), easily the best goalie I've seen at Celtic. Not particularly enthused about Zaluska as his long-term replacement.

There's always http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominic_Cervi

Thanks :-(

Sky Sports reporting the departure of the roly poly Holy goalie now too.

Aiden McGeady didn't travel with the squad to the States either. Not quite so bothered by his impending departure, tbh.

:( @ Holy Goalie departure.

Celtic insisting Aiden's staying at home for treatment to a thigh injury. Apparently we've released Koki Mizuno and Zheng Zhi while I wasn't looking. Ki needs to step up to the first team for the cynical far eastern marketing plan to succeed.

Yeah, they went when you were off on holiday. Can't say Koki will be missed, but thought Zhi was a decent squad player. Cha Du Ri is new cynical far eastern marketing opportunity, no?

oh wait (xpost!) I forgot about Cha Du Ri - his dad was the best S Korean ever apparently. I wonder if he's the SK equivalent of Gavin Strachan/Paul Dalglish/Scott Gemmill.

bawheid playing in the world cup final was quite funny.

he's now presumably Holland's first choice left back...

bye bye Artur Boruc, I'm pretty sure that Zaluska will be significantly less fun than you were.

xpost, inspired the most OMGWTFery text messages of any incident in the world cup round these parts :-)

I mean, seriously, dude's like a crap version of Danny Fox. No wonder they didn't win.

:( @ Holy Goalie departure.

Indeed. Do they have a ready supply of pies + blondes in Florence?

http://giam.typepad.com/100_years_of_illustration/images/2007/05/31/botticelli_venus.jpg

a Florentine blonde, pictured yesterday. Pie out of frame.

Fiorentina seems an odd choice since they already have a decidedly first choice keeper, unless Frey fell apart last season while I wasn't paying attention.

Frey's in demand, so I assume he's being sold?

No-one exactly mourning the loss of Steven McManus from the SPL then? No? Thought not...

Ah good luck Mick - leaving with a couple of league medals and one or two stand-out performances in the scrapbook. Never one to shirk or hide but also sadly often one to dive in, run blindly out of position, play everyone onside while telling everyone else to hold a high line, etc.

So do we expect to go with two from Loovens, Hooiveld, Rogne, Thompson - assuming they're all unbroken come kick off day? Or will we sign someone? Has Sol Campbell officially knocked us back yet?

You forgot Darren O'Dea and Mark No-Knees, and apparently Milan Misun exists, is in the pre-season friendlies squad in the US, and is now claiming to be a centre half. Would rather get big Dolph kitted out with a new set of boots, tbh :-/

(no idea what the script with Sol Campbell is. Think we might make a bid for the Mallorca guy we just missed out on in January?)

Mark No-Knees is a holding midfielder these days. Darren might be a left-back (given that Charlie Mulgrew probably isn't). Wasn't Hinkel a centre half for a wee bit under Lennie - did I make that up?

Milan Misun exists

I saw No-Knees at centre half once under Lennie. Not sure about Hinkel, I thought Lennie didn't even like him, preferring a guy with no knees in his place. Please don't make me think about Darren O'Dea at left back (I'm sorry I made you think of him anywhere near the team...).

(you can tell I've blanked large parts of last season from my mind)

Kevin Wilson for Celtic?
Friend of a friend of a taxi driver who once had a pint with a bloke who knew his wife's wee sister's window cleaner just texted someone I don't know who posts on a blog I occasionally read, so there must be something in it.

Also someone put it on wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Kelvin_Wilson&oldid=373425831
"He is currently at Celtic Park just now going through a medical."

currently just now at this moment

The Eagles has landed, and various other terrible jokes I can't be bothered making right now.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/b/burnley/8820528.stm

I particularly liked this bit of creative reporting.

"Eagles' arrival would leave Rangers in profit should central midfielder Kevin Thomson complete a proposed move to Middlesbrough in a deal thought to be worth about £2m."

Seriously, they're paying minus £82 million for him?

Unfortunately he is a good player, what's he doing joining Rangers?

Efrain Juarez Celtic deal close, says boss Neil Lennon

ah, Eagles is a perfect example of that archetype I kinda made up, the SPL player who didn't quite live up to expectations elsewhere. He should be a good signing though, someone-Edu-Davis-Eagles seems like a nice midfield to me. Or would be if I hadn't just remembered that the someone is most likely Kyle Lafferty.

Thomson was tipped to be the post-Weir captain, right? Davie's got another good ten years in him, why not.

someone-Edu-Davis-Eagles seems like a nice midfield to me

Assuming someone, Edu and Davis are still Rangers players.

that is true. I'm boldly assuming that come the end of the transfer window there'll be at least eleven players of driving age remaining.

list of Rangers transfers since August 08

In:
Jerome Rothen (loan) (made 4 league appearances)
Aaron Niguez (loan) (made 3)

Out:
Daniel Cousin
Jean-Claude Darcheville
Alan Lowing
Brahim Hemdani
Chris Burke
Giorgos Efrem
Alan Gow
Charlie Adam
Dean Furman
Graeme Smith
Barry Ferguson
Christian Dailly
Pedro Mendes
Stevie Smith
Aaron Niguez (loan return)
Jerome Rothen (loan return)
Nacho Novo
Kris Boyd
DaMarcus Beasley
Kevin Thomson

Given they've won two titles in a row with that going on maybe they'll squeeze another with 10 u17s plus Eagles.

Latest rumour: Paul Hartley coming back to Celtic :/

Ha, I heard that last night and promptly discounted it as nonsense. He was a good two years past his best the last time we had him (and I speak as someone who basically loved him).

ooh, season kicks off tonight. Good luck Murderwell, 'mon teh coefficient and that.

And Celtic appear to have signed another right back. Presume we'll be waving cheerio to Andreas Hinkel then?

And and (I should finish catching up with news before posting), Scotland have a new assistant manager. Kenny Black. Woo, and indeed, hoo.

(awaits avalanche of "fuck off Airdrie scum cnut" posts)

Do not want.
http://www.twtd.co.uk/news.php?storyid=16734

Celtic boss Neil Lennon says he is close to completing the signing of former Town loanee Daryl Murphy from Sunderland. The Irish frontman had been mentioned in connection with a permanent move to Portman Road this summer.

Why sign the English Emile Heskey when you can sign the Irish one instead?

Chris Eagles rejects Rangers. Ah well, D. Weary can fool everyone by bringing up the average age of a team of foetuses.

Oh what a shame. Poor plucky cash-strapped Rangers appear not to be able to afford wages.

Well done Murderwell.

oh I forgot about that. Yes well done them. Does this mean it's time to start Anyone Who's Good Enough For Middlesbrough Won't Be On Dis Ting: SPL 2010/11?

Aye, on you go.

Aye, on you go.

Aye, on you go.

No idea what happened there. Though same old same old repetitive bollocks and a total arse-up seems a fitting end to the thread.

Anyone Who's Good Enough For Middlesbrough Won't Be On Dis Ting: SPL 2010/11