Best Manager of the England Soccerball Team That Wasn't Sir Alf Ramsey

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Because Sir Alf would be the tedious "oh fuck off" Beatles answer. Also because Sir Matt DC claimed Bobby Robson was the best England manager in his life time and fair enough but fuck that noise basically. I wd like to vote for Sir Fabio Capello but I guess in fairness he needs to do a tournament before we can crown him so in second place it's Sir Terry "Do You Wanna Buy Some Cheap Fags?" Venables, easy.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Terry Venables 6
Sven-Göran "I think it's pronounced Yerren really" Eriksson 3
Sir Bobby Robson 2
Glenn "Fuck a Cripple" Hoddle 1
lol Steve "Graham Taylor Remix" McClaren 1
the wrong Peter Taylor 0
Howard Wilkinson as if 0
lol Kevin Keegan 0
Howard Wilkinson 0
Joe Mercer 0
lol Graham "DJ Martian Nickname" Taylor 0
Don Howe why not? 0
Ron Greenwood 0
lol Don Revie 0
Fabio Motherfucking Capello Motherfuckers 0


Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 13:31 (sixteen years ago)

it's venables now under competition from sven, but in time it will be capello

Bobkate Goldtwat (darraghmac), Saturday, 1 August 2009 13:41 (sixteen years ago)

That's completely how I read it tbh.

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 13:42 (sixteen years ago)

On the basis that every other one could and should have achieved more (except maybe Hoddle, had he lived) I have to go with Bobby Hundreds

Ismael Klata, Saturday, 1 August 2009 14:10 (sixteen years ago)

Robson seemed pretty lucky, to me. He stumbled onto his best team in 86 after losing players to injury and suspension, and then we kind of jammed our way thru to the semi in 1990 with some ugly, ugly wins against mediocre opposition. Losing the Euros in 96 under Venables, after an admittedly weak start, was far crueller.

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 14:13 (sixteen years ago)

sadly, for now, it is Sven

unban dictionary (blueski), Saturday, 1 August 2009 14:54 (sixteen years ago)

best at playing the FA for suckers

Ismael Klata, Saturday, 1 August 2009 14:56 (sixteen years ago)

best at playing the laydeeeez

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 14:57 (sixteen years ago)

erm....sven was shit

I for one welcome this new Nazi ILX (Local Garda), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:02 (sixteen years ago)

did you guys actually watch england in world cups?

I for one welcome this new Nazi ILX (Local Garda), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:03 (sixteen years ago)

three consecutive quarter-finals is better going than any other England manager. simple as that really.

unban dictionary (blueski), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:07 (sixteen years ago)

Eriksson's teams played some agonisingly dull football but were often quite technically efficient and he was pretty good at forcing opposition teams to join in the agonisingly dull football.

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:08 (sixteen years ago)

But Venables was surely helped by having a tournament at home and didn't have to qualify? Although that doesn't really detract a whole awful lot from the achievement.

Not knowing anything about Mercer through to Howe I'd go for Capello right this sec - man has got it right almost every time and might be the first person ever to try and address England's crappiness at penalties. xxp

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:10 (sixteen years ago)

Howe was never actually manager btw but I put him in cos he seemed hugely influential under Greenwood and possibly into the Robson era iirc?

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:11 (sixteen years ago)

Venables is highly regarded (including by me) I think because he had a "continental" grasp of tactics, probably the best tactician of this bunch, and also because that 96 demolition of Holland was a thing of beauty.

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:13 (sixteen years ago)

is Robson the only one who went on to enjoy some success after leaving the England job? not sure Taylor taking Watford back into the top flight really counts

unban dictionary (blueski), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:15 (sixteen years ago)

Eriksson at Man City? Hoddle at Wolves was shite. McLaren at Twente?

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:17 (sixteen years ago)

eriksson had lots of success after leaving the england job. he's now got 500m in the bank instead of 100m.

I for one welcome this new Nazi ILX (Local Garda), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:18 (sixteen years ago)

Sven is definitely one of the better ones, but the way his teams meekly exited tournaments counts strongly against him. England should've won in 2004.

Ismael Klata, Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:31 (sixteen years ago)

I don't think getting to three quarter-finals should be enough to swing it for SGE. If you're going to base everything on a 'We'll be soul-crushingly boring but get the results' approach, then you've actually got to get *all* the results (i.e. you've actually got to *win* something). England were the most unloveable and unwatchable team at the last World Cup, doing their best to fail to get out of the easiest group imaginable, and the exit to Brazil in the one before that was pathetic.

Teh Movable Object (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:40 (sixteen years ago)

otm. sven was terrible, he did "enough" always but they never looked like a side that could actually win a big tournament. their performances in the two world cups under him were as bad as they have ever been in my lifetime.

I for one welcome this new Nazi ILX (Local Garda), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:43 (sixteen years ago)

Also, it's true Robson stumbled across his best team in 86, but I don't think he was necessarily luckier at getting his teams as far as they got than the other managers. I mean Venables (as has already been pointed out) didn't have to qualify for Euro 96, and we hosted it, but we started with a crap draw against Switzerland and could easily have gone out at the group stage if Scotland had actually scored their penalty. Also, our win against Spain was the equivalent of our win against Belgium in 1990.

Teh Movable Object (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:45 (sixteen years ago)

I still believe Euro 96 is as close as we've come since 1966 to winning a tournament. England in 90 would have lost to Argentina in the final even if they'd got thru.

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:47 (sixteen years ago)

I think we'd have beaten Argentina if we'd got to the final - they were a bit shit and we'd have been really up for it. But I think Germany were much better than us in that tournament, and deserved it more, even if the semi-final was really close. The difference in 96 was that we really should have beaten Germany.

Teh Movable Object (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:55 (sixteen years ago)

Maybe. Argentina were on a downward curve but Germany did plenty to make them look ordinary. We'd've been Gazza-less as well, which wouldn't have helped.

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:56 (sixteen years ago)

I was young but my memory of that world cup was that germany weren't actually v good in the final, and argentina just imploded.

I for one welcome this new Nazi ILX (Local Garda), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:57 (sixteen years ago)

Germany in full flow don't exactly play beautiful samba football tho.

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 15:59 (sixteen years ago)

these criticisms of Sven are valid but it doesn't mean he wasn't the best (performing) out of a bad (under-achieving or whatever) bunch. sadly. would say Robson if they hadn't been so poor in Euro 88 or so lucky in Italy. not a lot between them either way.

England were the most unloveable and unwatchable team at the last World Cup

Ukraine and Switzerland were worse

unban dictionary (blueski), Saturday, 1 August 2009 16:08 (sixteen years ago)

Seem to recall Poland and Paraguay being pretty ropey too but my short term memory isn't all that.

Calamari Merkin (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 1 August 2009 16:10 (sixteen years ago)

i guess we can let them off because they played fewer games in which to bore us

unban dictionary (blueski), Saturday, 1 August 2009 16:12 (sixteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Tuesday, 4 August 2009 23:01 (sixteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Wednesday, 5 August 2009 23:01 (sixteen years ago)

one smart cunt in the room. bet it was ronan.

Bobkate Goldtwat (darraghmac), Wednesday, 5 August 2009 23:42 (sixteen years ago)

two smart cunts really, unless Hoddle is a lurker.

well known on the morris dancing scene (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 5 August 2009 23:43 (sixteen years ago)


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