World Cup Victory Sex

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Right I never thought I would be asking a WC related question but here I am..... Anyway according to my bible, Metro, 'the euphoria brought on by England's successes seems to have found its way into the nation's bedrooms' - condom sales are up 15% and use of the morning after pill has almost doubled. I am shocked. Surely the men are wanting to go to bed early to get up in order to catch 7:30 kick offs? Also I am gutted as I told my dad that the reason I am not currently courting is that all the men are watching football.

So does footballing victory turn you on? Does losing diminish your libido? What is going on here?

― Emma, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I had a wank during the China/Costa Rica match.

― Dom Passantino, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

condom sales are up 15%

Surely this is all the excitement of the new TV advertised easy-on Durex?

Mind you, my flatmate said he has been 'feeling so horny' since the Argentina game.

― N., Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think people will use any old excuse. If it's not 'oh no it's the end of the world as we know it' terror sex it's 'rah rah we won a cruddy old football match' victory sex.

― Emma, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Um, people need excuses?

― Matt, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think people will use any old excuse.

Getting sex is all about excuses (eg. "Ooh, it's easiest if I get a cab back with you", "Ooh it's cold over here, can I get in your bed?", "Ooh, my enormous penis is taking up too much room - can I put it somewhere?"). Isn't it? Unless you're as shameless as PJ, in which case no excuse is needed - just ask them to show your their tits and then push their head down.

― N., Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think that if someone used the line 'ooh my enormous penis is taking up too much room and I need somewhere to put it' on me, it would be 99% guaranteed to work. Har har.

― Emma, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The 1% is to allow for the fact that the bloke might be a minger. The point is not that I really think people need excuses to shag but that I would've thought men would be fulfilled by footie and therefore would want less sex not more.

― Emma, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Not when you can do both.

At the same time.

― Matt, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

that fri night recently i'm sure led to a lot of drunken shagging. it was a giant party. i hear. i was at home watching bb. i did get some action just after the first england game (like a couple of sundays ago or something now?). u didn't need to know that i suppose, but it made me smile.

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Was she Swedish?

― N., Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

more likely Scottish.

― Billy Dods, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Alan's pull must be excluded from the statistics as he is not into the football.

Unless - hang on - maybe the extra shagging is not being done by the footie fans but rather by all the MANY MILLIONS OF PEOPLE who have absolutely no interest and are trying to avoid it by having long lie- ins and early nights. Well that's cleared that one up.

― Emma, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i really like the sound of that theory.

― Alan T, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It has convinced me but the problem is it shoots down my excuse to my dad as to why I am not courting / stepping out / whatever ancient phrase he chooses to use. I will have to say 'COS NO ONE LIKES ME' and start crying next time, that will shut him up heh heh.

― Emma, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

tell him you've become Sapphic hahahaha...

― katie, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

He will still want to know if I'm seeing anyone. Arrghh. Leave me alone.

― Emma, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Ooh, my enormous penis is taking up too much room - can I put it somewhere?"

Nicole Kidman is just waiting on the day when she hears that whispered in her ear.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

""Ooh, my enormous penis is taking up too much room - can I put it somewhere?").

Put it in the ground, then you will feel rooted to earth by crotch- tongue way.

― mike hanle y, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think I'd rather have sex if that's all right.

― N., Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Is that your other chat up line? i.e. 'Would you like a drink?' 'I think I'd rather have sex if that's all right'.

― Emma, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

N. would win points for honesty and would otherwise be soundly abused and then beaten.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hurrah!

― N., Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ha ha N. would rather have honesty points & a sound beating than sex.

― Emma, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This is possibly true though it depends who is administering the beating (eg. not Ned)

― N., Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Beaten with his own enormous penis!

― lawrence kansas, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Always a danger.

― Dan "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" Perry, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I suspect a variety of lies are now being told.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sweet chariot = ice cream van => Perry swinging low - blingy blongy Greensleeves.

― Tim, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Blingy BLONGY?

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

To lessen the impact of an accidental penis beating I keep mine ensconced in a mailing tube. The danger of it being unwittingly mailed however is always with me.

― lawrence kansas, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well no one's making you put stamps on it, lawrence!

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Though if it were unwittingly mailed without proper postage it would be kind of a bummer to have to invite gurlz around to the Dead Letters Office. I'm starting to think this mailtube is a bad idea. Try just tying it around your thigh.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's a good way to break your leg, Tracer.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Lawrence, you should use a padded mailer. Because of course only good things come in a Jiffy.

― Pyth, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes! As my penis is a bit bonkers the mailing tube must be padded. Hmmm if I tie it around my thigh how will I adjust my sunglasses? (another one of its seemingly endless chores)

― lawrence kansas, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

No, Dan's right. The tying technique has a drawback in that the second a pretty girl passes by you've broken your leg. Not attractive. But surely whatever your solution you should give your Slick Rick a break, it sounds like you're breaking all kinds of labor laws here. Does it have working papers?

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If I break my leg with it I can use it as a splint. My penis is the cause of, and solution to, all of lifes problems.

I am breaking at least one labor law when I forget to put a hairnet on it as it works around in the kitchen preparing my meals.

― lawrence kansas, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Lawrence if we have a picnic I'M bringing the basket of food, do you understand?

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Lawrence and I will just be bringing the baskets. HAW HAW HAW HAW.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Clearly Friday hysteria has taken over your BRANE.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(I just now have gotten Tim Hopkins' "Greensleeves" post...)

― Dan Perry, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Since when do men need an excuse to want a shag? Anytime and anywhere goes----though I'd say the bed is more comfortable than the nearest patch of grass.

The Cup has been no effect on my libido whatever; tis always been high.

― Nichole Graham, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(Sports events = key time for non-sporting men to pull: 70% of men in a room are basically incapacitated for several hours and the other 30% gets to go chatting around from bored-girl to bored-girl.)

(Unfortunately the backfire here is that they're quite lovely to you but most of them still have the idea that watching-sports-and- ignoring-them is deliciously charming masculine behaviour.)

― nabisco%%, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Lawrence, you should use a padded mailer. Because of course only good things come in a Jiffy

In English slang "in a jiffy" means pretty soon, e.g. "I'll be there in a jiffy". So I am not sure coming in a jiffy is a good thing ....

― David, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

nichole's on to something, it's never men who need an excuse to beg for sex. why are you ladies letting it happen, that's the real question. does the sight of strapping young lads playing footie make you want to snuggle up to your flabby mate and/or block the tv with your naked form?

― Dave M., Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mr Moore, isn't Jiffy also a brand of condom? That's what I was referring to...

― Pyth, Friday, 14 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.