Worst movie you own...ON DVD

inspired by the jazillionth star wars prequels thread. 'on DVD' means you can't mention some dusty VHS copy of 'Ishtar' you inherited or whatever.

hmmm probably the Roger Corman non-musical version of Little Shop of Horros

Horrors

for some reason i own Bowfinger altho i have still not watched it

Terminator 3 maybe. I didn't actually buy it though, somebody who was staying at our house gave it to me for some reason.

I rarely ever buy a DVD without viewing the movie first (God bless Netflix), but critically speaking, I guess "Golden Child" is the worst movie I own (even though I love it).

also stuff I enjoyed as a teenager and bought as an adult years later that didn't hold up at all (I'm thinking of True Romance and House of Yes, probably there are others). I was buying way too much dvds at one point.

Gus Van Sant's Last Days. I don't even know why I own it, I think I must have bought it for 99p at Woolies sale or something.

does something like the Godfather part III count? I mean, it was in the box set, I had to buy it.

Gus Van Sant's Last Days. I don't even know why I own it, I think I must have bought it for 99p at Woolies sale or something.

Yeah, that was one movie I netflixed. Couldn't even finish it tbh. It wasn't hard to figure out the ending anyway ;)

GEORGE AND MILDRED: THE MOVIE (i 'collect' Brit sitcom TV movies, of which this is an esp. poor example, tho' the ARE YOU BEING SERVED? movie is poss. even worse, and i have never managed to watch all three ON THE BUSES flicks)

also have a ton of H G Lewis, Ed Wood, Jess Franco DVDs that i wouldn't swap for all the Apatow in the world

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000286S1U.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

However, I have a habit of collecting fucking awful films and passing them around friends so if you asked last week it would have been Norbit.

Man, that Are You Being Served? movie is a billion times better than George and Mildred.

^^^oh man Tiptoes! I kinda totally want to see that it looks so horrible - couldn't believe that was actually a movie and not a parody. Midget Oldman!

I would kill to own Tiptoes.

b-but the GEORGE AND MILDRED movie is an obv influence on SEXY BEAST!

George and Mildred is all tedious crap to me whereas Are You Being Served? features 70s britcom staple a package trip to Spain or wherever.

Ben Kingsley in George and Mildred might've made it awesome tho.

Boondock Saints. friend got it for me for my high school graduation. can't even sell the fuckin thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0ZhH599N-Y&feature=related

GOLD

Cabin Fever. Ugh (my thoughts here)

(xpost) I own "Carry On Abroad" - a mostly pointless Carry On movie that covers much the same territory.

holy shit re: "Cabin Fever" commentary

my mother-in-law didn't know what to get me for my birthday so she bought me a handful of random horror movies that were on sale at the video store. one was "shadow of the vampire" which is pretty good but most of them were no-name crap like "zombiez" and "i'll bury you tomorrow," just totally unwatchable stuff that looks like it was filmed with a camcorder.

I was looking at some threads from the dawn of ILX last night and came across this one, which I found myself nodding along to:
Why do people buy DVDs?

<img>http://www.boulevardmovies.com/images/P/frogs.jpg<;img/>
Given to me for no apparent reason, have not watched.

Well it was the move FROGS.

Always forget about the brackets.

the butterfly effect 2. The first one was pretty amusingly ridiculous and I usually can get down with low budg str8 2 DVD sequels for laffs, but this was excruciating and had none of the goofiness of the OG(main dude only like flashes through a couple scenarios and they are really boring like in this one he's a banker, but in this one he's a lawyer, thanks butterfly effect!). Never has a movie needed some goth sex more.

Probably one of the following:

Run Ronnie Run
O.C. & Stiggs
Dr. T And The Women
Blair Witch 2

If Little Shop of Horrors is the *worst* you can think of, then you must have a fine collection indeed, Shakey Mo.

Worst thing I can think of right now is the Coen Brothers' "Ladykillers" remake. (Only keeping it because I'm a completist)

I would kill to own Tiptoes.

― Your heartbeat soun like sasquatch feet (polyphonic), Wednesday, 26 August 2009 18:27 (5 hours ago) Bookmark

If you are in Britain, I can send it to you for excrutiating fun times. It's the crazy french marxist biker dwarf that makes it special.

That and how extraordinarily dull Kate Beckinsale's character is. I'm not sure you can even intentionally write someone to be that boring. It's so bewildering, she starts the movie as 'wacky sexed up artist' and then after like a minute, it's forgotten and she has zero personality.

man every time i turn around on this board someone is hating on OC and Stiggs. MADDENING

for a year or so, there was a guy who would come around selling bootleg dvds, and partly as a result of this guy's good salesmanship and my bf's sympathy for the guy, we own a pretty large quantity of awful movies. Because they're bootlegs, we can't just sell them to the used music/movie store nearby. I will go through the stacks and come up with some of the worst titles soon.

did the dude take requests?

If you are in Britain

I'm not, but thanx

Oh well. Quite tempted to learn how to upload things to youtube just to share tiptoe love with the world.

xp Philip: to some degree - it was all new releases: screeners and some shot in the theater, but he would make an effort to see if he could get a particular title if we asked. About a year ago, he got in a fight and stabbed some guy in the neighborhood, so he isn't around anymore.

Glitter

The "worst" one I own and love based on its intended merits & watch repeatedly = 3-disc Speed Racer blu-ray

http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv105/NAPOLEONROFL/DSC00427.jpg

Potentially the worst movie we own on DVD - ones I've seen or at least seen part of:
Tropix
Senior Skip Day
Scorpion King 2
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane
Fighting Words
Are You Scared

Potentially even worse than those above, which I didn't actually see, but my better half sat through:
Killer Pad (from the producers of dude, where's my car! a film by Robert Englund)
Lovewrecked
Miss Conception (she's seeking mr. Right Now)
Walt Disney's College Road Trip
The Bros (two extremely confused white guys)
All Babes Want to Kill Me (a martial artist afflicted with a disease that makes beautiful women want to kill him goes on a suicide mission to find true love anyway)
Dragon Wars

The Driver's Seat, although it's sort of awesome, too.

Alien Resurrection, but it came in the boxed set of all Alien films

^^ that one was pretty meh ... it came in the Alien vs. Predator box set - all Alien movies, all Predator movies, both Alien vs. Predator movies

most of those i dont know what they are but dragon wars is terrific

tropix was a straight-to-dvd or made for cable "thriller/comedy" about a kidnapping for ransom
senior skip day was a comedy that probably was aiming for Ferris Bueller cult status, but was really dumb
scorpion king 2 was about what you'd expect if you're familiar with the original
all the boys love mandy lane was a teenage slasher movie
fighting words was a romantic drama set in the world of slam poetry.
Are you scared was teenage torture porn

ighting words was a romantic drama set in the world of slam poetry.

That sounds tragically bad.

we actually watched this chapter by chapter, watching the first minute of each one. The crux of the plot was up and coming poetry slam guy doing battle with an older, more successful poetry slam guy.

boondock saints is thousands of times worse than beastmaster

it doesn't really show any erotic bits in the trailer ... but softcore porn hollywood parodies should be their own category ...

i'm trying to think; most of my DVDs are in storage still from moving. In the non-softcore category, I guess most people would consider Superman The Motion Picture to be the worst?

but tbh i love that movie.

the question is "the worst compared to what"?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxpost- I remember OC & Stiggs being a pretty cool movie. Plus I like teen comedies all right.

Yeah. Superman's not that bad!

Pretty fun movie.

I have the Peacemaker in my collection still in its shrinkwrap. It came with the DVD player ugh.

Some wags might suggest me owning Donnie Darko would score some points here. I say poo to them.

My 50s B grade Day of the Triffids is pretty bad but entertainingly, MST3K so!

Actually I also have Team America World Police which I thought was rancid and umfunny. But I seem to be rather alone in that opinion.

Stripes, an early Bill Murray vehicle. It is fairly meh, but not a flaming horror.

Day of the Triffids is great ... I remember when I was in college and ran the college film society, I tried to implement DIY heckling midnight movies, and was disappointed that few people actually heckled the movies, which were definitely easy targets. This was probably during the height of MST3K popularity.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0183072/

love these movies btw

It seemed kinda wtf to me that people were entertained by watching pre-produced heckling of bad movies, but didn't want to do it themselves.

--self x-post

This is it. Number One with a Bullet. Maybe to your head., 15 February 2003
Author: Mr Pan Cakes from Your Local IHOP

Ohh, Feeders.

I've posted some other comments here, but for some reason (though I've referenced this film in them) I haven't come back to this little beauty.

Feeders.

It must have been 96 or so, because dates escape me in my age (and from all the gasoline-milk mixtures I've had over that time), and my sister and I saw this . . . apocryphal miracle in the new releases section of a more-than-common video rental chain. How could we not have rented it?

Feeders. How I miss thee.

It's been a while since I've seen this, so bear with me. Lemme see. Some Commodore 64 special effects, hastily scribbled onto the film strip, signal that aliens have arrived . . . with the noble intention of brutally eating everyone they come across . . . or to burst out of their bellies . .. or to use 'lasers' to raze the whole planet . . . or to impersonate one of the heroic characters . . . any one, or all of these may be their master plan. Since obviously a higher power spurred the creation of this film, who am I to question the intricacies of the plot, me a simple heathen?

My absolute favorite scene is the one with the fat truck driver (well, he might not drive a truck, but I do recall him being obese). This man gets mauled by a 'feeder', and is rescued by the 'heroes', who rush him to a 'doctor', where he 'dies'. I say 'dies' because, as the doctor ceremonially intones 'I'm sorry, this man is dead', and reverently pulls a sheet over his body, THE MAN IS STILL OBVIOUSLY BREATHING -- QUITE DEEPLY! YOU CAN SEE THE SHEET MOVE, PEOPLE!!! Oh, but maybe that's a signal that the alien inside of him is about to burst out, via the magic of uber-superimposed (uberimposed?) post-production editing. The wound, literally, does not overlay the body. It is uberimposed.

Feeders . . . the one. The only.

Two other points -- one being the blowtorching of a 'feeder', which must have been the final scene, seeing as though the feeder puppet is totally ruined, which must have made the special-effects whiz who made it cry like a baby for hours and hours, what, not being told ahead of time that his hand-crafted buddy would be cauterized in such a horrible manner. And the straight-out-of 'Night of the Living Dead' scene with the corpse at the top of the stairs . . . and I mean that as in 'This Scene was directly sheared from the reel of Night of The Living Dead and messily inserted into Feeders', straight-out-of Night of the Living Dead . . .

Feeders . . . where for art thou on DVD? For I would own thee, verily, in a fortnight.

I heard there's a sequel. Taking place during Christmas. But I'll be a Warlord of the Deep if I can't find it here. Or something.

In summary, I would like to say that this movie is apocalyptical; to be collegiate (if at all), I use that term in it's original Greek sense, meaning, rending of the veil. If you see this film, firstly consider yourself lucky. That also means you might have seen other beauties, such as Parts: The Clonus Horror, or Judgment Night, or Rana: The Secret of Shadow Lake, or some other, horrible poison that I haven't sampled yet. And two, realize that, having seen it, you can never go back to how it was before. Now your veil has been torn asunder, and the guttural truth of life pours through . . . Feeders will ruin you, like it did me, with the fact that there are movies like this, being made by people, for some reason or another, and that the only solace comes from either seeing more or drinking the ever popular milkoline.

Feeders. God how I miss you.

the sequel features Santa Claus

Long Kiss Goodnight with Geena Davis & Sam L Jackson. To watch it is to love it.

Death to Smoochy maybe, even though I <3 it big time. i really don't own a lot of DVDs

There is nothing bad about Long Kiss Goodnight. Doesn't deserve to be associated with the dreck in this thread.

Get Speed Racer and The Long Kiss Goodnight off this thread. NOW.

Phew!!! I thought I'd be soundly mocked for that! I <3 it.

ooh totally forgot I own a copy of Superman IV. that wins

Not counting all the z-grade 50s horror/sci-fi or 60s exploitation stuff, probably The Cell. Totally wretched movie, kept the dvd because I love Eiko Ishioka's costumes and the set design. If it had an "isolated scenery" mode, like isolated scores only removing the entire cast instead of just dialog and sfx, it would be great.

Or maybe Southland Tales or It's All About Love, because I'm a sucker for that kind of fanboy enthusiasm for PKD and Vonnegut (respectively). That said there's no way I'm buying Breakfast of Champions.

The Cell wasn't wretched, imo. I mean, take away the awesome costumes, set design, and original score, and you basically have your typically high-rated but shitty CSI/NCIS/Law & Order:CRIMINEL MINDS, or whatever, but the costumes, sets, music, and fun D'Onofrio performance made it worth watching twice (which I did).

I kind of liked the Cell.

Stripes, an early Bill Murray vehicle. It is fairly meh, but not a flaming horror.

― Aimless

Stripes was considered so utterly classic when I was a kid. It is almost weird to see someone take the time to describe it - like, everyone knows Stripes! It needs no more description than Animal House! But, it really did not stand the test of time particularly well, did it?

John Waters' "A Dirty Shame" which is totally inane but never fails to bring on the lols

Mars Needs Women

party party.

easily the worst film i've ever seen.

Amazon women on the moon, although actually pretty funny in parts. if were to be honest and say my worst dvd is Pans Labrynth, i'm sure i'd get lynched. so i'll keep my mouth shut.

http://www.viewpoints.com/images/review/2007/332/14/1196283182-6748_full.jpg

Maybe... Henry and June? I didn't remember how embarrassing it is when I grabbed it from the dollar bin.

Balls of Fury, off the top of my head. I don't think that any of our cheesy 60s-70s horror movies can beat that.

Maybe... Henry and June? I didn't remember how embarrassing it is when I grabbed it from the dollar bin.

I remember when this came out I specifically was so excited to see it because a) Uma Thurman was in it (and she hadn't made a bunch of shitty movies yet) and b) it was NC-17. I think I tried to see all the NC-17 movies that came out when they invented that rating. Pretty unmemorable film tho

There's a lot of fucking in it. If'n you ever wanted to see Richard E. Grant fucking. I wish I hadn't.

The Werewolf of Washington!!!!!!!!!

This movie is central to a long-running family joke, and was in FEARnet's on demand line up the last time I had cable, and it is terrible but holds a very special place in my heart.

i hope that movie is about a Werewolf who becomes a Supreme Court justice^^^^

It is about a presidential aid who becomes a werewolf.

I think the worst movies I have on DVD are Meet The Feebles and The First Nudie Musical. The latter is slightly better than the former, if only for the dancing vibrator musical number.

http://img.amazon.ca/images/I/51PK4YGGCCL._SS500_.jpg

It was a buck at walmart. Still unwatched, so I'm just going by its reputation.

Meet the Feebles is awesome :(

Meet The Feebles is awesome but not for being good. Awesome for all the WTF moments.

I have an el-cheapo package set of the Psycho sequels II-IV (the original was not included). The fist sequel is actually a lot better than it has any right to be, but the 3rd, o man.. Let's just say that Norman Bates didn't work out very well as a 1980's Krueger-esque wisecracking slasher killer. I've not watched IV yet. I might, someday.

I bought Shade for £1 from Tesco a while back. Haven't seen it but can only assume that a film I haven't heard of, with a cast like that, bought for a nugget, can only be dreadful. Although it's on 6.4 on IMDB so maybe it's not total shite?

Btw is Kentucky Fried Movie any good? Was bought on the same quest for greasy chicken and felt like an apt purchase.

Rush Hour 3

psycho II is very good. I vaguely remember IV being good as well.

xpost - Hey Abanana, Dementia 13 is great!

"Kentucky Fried Movie" is very of its time, sometimes offensively so, but has a few big laughs.

Dementia 13 is classic. Coppola/Corman! Dream team.