terrifying things that are probably hidden in the health care bill

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all palin children subjected to grotesque medical experimentation.

you can only talk to your doctor in spanish.

no more ice cream after tonsillectomy.

after age 75 all brains must be donated to obama zombie army.

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:33 (sixteen years ago)

white people must each donate one kidney to black or latino people.

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:34 (sixteen years ago)

All needles, etc, to be recycled to save $.
Hospital linens only washed if you put that little card on the pillow.

Jaq, Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:35 (sixteen years ago)

surgeon general: dr. moreau

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:40 (sixteen years ago)

bill mites

sylvia plathter cathter (Curt1s Stephens), Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:41 (sixteen years ago)

crab spider waiting between pages 112-3

Amateur Darraghmatics (darraghmac), Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:41 (sixteen years ago)

all pregnant women must undergo counseling to see if they'd really rather abort

the people vs peer gynt (goole), Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:47 (sixteen years ago)

Liquor lobby provision subs whiskey for all anesthetics and disinfectants

Jaq, Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:47 (sixteen years ago)

its a COOKBOOK

go Nick go! Scrub that paint! Scrub it!! Yeah!! (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:52 (sixteen years ago)

should you need to redress any medmal grievances your only options are Latina arbitrator or ACORN panel

feed them to the (Linden Ave) lions (will), Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:55 (sixteen years ago)

proctologists? they're all gay now.

the people vs peer gynt (goole), Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:56 (sixteen years ago)

speculums are used now for women AND men

Mr. Que, Thursday, 27 August 2009 16:57 (sixteen years ago)

"jk! lol!" added to the end of the Hippocratic Oath

iatee, Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:01 (sixteen years ago)

hippocratic oath rewritten to halal guidelines: "first do no ham"

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:03 (sixteen years ago)

abortions for some, tiny American flags for others

go Nick go! Scrub that paint! Scrub it!! Yeah!! (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:04 (sixteen years ago)

forced sterilization of all white Republicans

go Nick go! Scrub that paint! Scrub it!! Yeah!! (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:05 (sixteen years ago)

candy-stripers provided by Organizing for America

lacoste intolerant (suzy), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:06 (sixteen years ago)

forced sterilization of all white Republicans

But not the Latino ones? This would not pass Eq.Protection scrutiny.

Adventures of Dog Boy and Frank Sobotka (B.L.A.M.), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:06 (sixteen years ago)

Bed pan/ cereal bowl combo

Adventures of Dog Boy and Frank Sobotka (B.L.A.M.), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:06 (sixteen years ago)

^^^available since 1972 in some parts of MN, trust me!

lacoste intolerant (suzy), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:09 (sixteen years ago)

buried "soylent green" provision

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:11 (sixteen years ago)

xeroxes of C. Everett Koop's butt

A DOG, A BARREL... RIDICULOUS! (jjjusten), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:12 (sixteen years ago)

all married women will be assumed to be rape victims. because marriage is rape.

the people vs peer gynt (goole), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:12 (sixteen years ago)

"don't ask don't tell" approach to HIV/AIDS diagnosis

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:14 (sixteen years ago)

manchurian candidate trigger phrase "still tippin for shorty"

A DOG, A BARREL... RIDICULOUS! (jjjusten), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:15 (sixteen years ago)

Catastrophic illnesses mandatorily re-imbursed with confiscated guns/American flags/internal combustion engines.

repeating cycles of smoking and cruelty (Michael White), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:21 (sixteen years ago)

can we get this thread inserted into some Republican spam e-mails or what

go Nick go! Scrub that paint! Scrub it!! Yeah!! (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:30 (sixteen years ago)

med school replaced w/ instructional screening of 'patch adams'

iatee, Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:34 (sixteen years ago)

signed acknowledgment of white people becoming less then 50% of the population

bnw, Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:35 (sixteen years ago)

"no child left behind" abortion policy

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:36 (sixteen years ago)

Mandatory consultations with voodoo witch doctors and shamans.

repeating cycles of smoking and cruelty (Michael White), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:37 (sixteen years ago)

All hospital food will be Halal.

cashew and green pea pulao (fields of salmon), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:41 (sixteen years ago)

3 week old mouldy sandwich that barney frank left there.

Mornington Crescent (Ed), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:43 (sixteen years ago)

With The Gay on it.

The Lion's Mane Jellyfish, pictured here with its only natural predator (Laurel), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:48 (sixteen years ago)

redistribution of limbs

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:49 (sixteen years ago)

Male patients phlebotomized only by angry, Latina, lesbians.

repeating cycles of smoking and cruelty (Michael White), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:51 (sixteen years ago)

amputee veterans can be traded in under cash-for-clunkers

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 27 August 2009 17:57 (sixteen years ago)

death panels must also approve all last rites administered by hospital chaplains

there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:25 (sixteen years ago)

death panels must also approve all last rites administered by hospital chaplains imams.

Fixed

repeating cycles of smoking and cruelty (Michael White), Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:27 (sixteen years ago)

pediatric care work placement for convicted sex offenders

there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:31 (sixteen years ago)

no physical therapy coverage to treat contortions from denial of Failure of HOPE

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:35 (sixteen years ago)

your new primary care physician is dr morbius

there is no there there (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:36 (sixteen years ago)

I give Bloody Marys instead of lollipops

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:37 (sixteen years ago)

Hello, Big Government? I'd like to switch to the open bar option....

The Lion's Mane Jellyfish, pictured here with its only natural predator (Laurel), Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:39 (sixteen years ago)

mandatory training at taxpayer expense for one-note internet 'doctors' to learn another tune

Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:41 (sixteen years ago)

talk about a sinkhole!

Indiana Morbs and the Curse of the Ivy League Chorister (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:42 (sixteen years ago)

small printer rider requiring all recipients of government healthcare switch political party to "socialist"

she is writing about love (Jenny), Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:47 (sixteen years ago)

Obama's Kenyan birth certificate

she is writing about love (Jenny), Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:48 (sixteen years ago)

Redistribution of body mass e.g underweight people will have a fat, rich guy's arm grafted onto them.

dowd, Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:51 (sixteen years ago)

hippocratic oath rewritten to halal guidelines: "first do no ham"

― flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Thursday, August 27, 2009 1:03 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^ fantastic

Bill Magill, Thursday, 27 August 2009 20:03 (sixteen years ago)

Legalizes the dumping of "snowflake babies" into a BioShredder and tossing them in the trash.

Alex Android (Viceroy), Thursday, 27 August 2009 22:53 (sixteen years ago)

A BioShredder, is of course, the device used to terminate end-of-life-option-care (old people) and also the death of any currently legally grey area stages of life, up to and including puberty. The state may BioShred at will. Its spinning blade funnels dump into two 200 pound bags! HEFTY!

Alex Android (Viceroy), Thursday, 27 August 2009 22:57 (sixteen years ago)

Fresh new bong filters mailed to every family nationwide.

repeating cycles of smoking and cruelty (Michael White), Thursday, 27 August 2009 22:58 (sixteen years ago)

good I needed a new bong filter.

Alex Android (Viceroy), Thursday, 27 August 2009 22:59 (sixteen years ago)

White men treated for colo-rectal cancer will get the word "Loser" tattooed on their left buttock.

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Thursday, 27 August 2009 23:00 (sixteen years ago)

The Pubic Option

The Love Song of J Alfred Pluot (Oilyrags), Thursday, 27 August 2009 23:01 (sixteen years ago)

-- the barney frank recruitment bonus: gays and lesbians get free healthcare for a year for every successful convert.
-- federally subsidized henry waxman mustache rides.

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 27 August 2009 23:17 (sixteen years ago)

tax credits for do-it-yourself home surgeries.

flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Thursday, 27 August 2009 23:19 (sixteen years ago)

forced homosextomy at age 6

fleetwood (max), Friday, 28 August 2009 00:15 (sixteen years ago)

mayo clinic relocated to cuba

fleetwood (max), Friday, 28 August 2009 00:15 (sixteen years ago)

diagnotics charts now written in arabic

fleetwood (max), Friday, 28 August 2009 00:16 (sixteen years ago)

The eating of meat now punishable by forced sodomy. Anyone who makes "seitan" = "Satan" jokes gets a barcode neck tattoo.

Cave17Matt, Friday, 28 August 2009 00:28 (sixteen years ago)

British dentures for all!

Spy in the Cab Sav (Trayce), Friday, 28 August 2009 00:31 (sixteen years ago)

i.e. everyone gets a barcode neck tattoo

xpost

ENERGY FOOD (en i see kay), Friday, 28 August 2009 00:32 (sixteen years ago)

MMR vaccinations embedded in all McDonalds kids meals.

Spy in the Cab Sav (Trayce), Friday, 28 August 2009 00:59 (sixteen years ago)

forced sterilization 4 anyone not biracial

johnny crunch, Friday, 28 August 2009 01:11 (sixteen years ago)

All guns to now shoot soy bullets

MIDIchlorian (latebloomer), Friday, 28 August 2009 01:20 (sixteen years ago)

"Rush Limbaugh Diet" recommended for all heterosexual caucasian males.

King Boy on Parole (King Boy Pato), Friday, 28 August 2009 01:54 (sixteen years ago)

Bladder catheterizations to be performed exclusively by Andy Dick and similarly...flamboyant males.

phlegm brûlée (j.lu), Friday, 28 August 2009 02:08 (sixteen years ago)

Hollywood's Walk of Fame stars will be replaced with cancer survivors.

dice in my pockets (csa), Friday, 28 August 2009 02:17 (sixteen years ago)

employers whose employees lose limbs in workplace accidents will have to have that limb amputated on their own body.

what happened? i am confused. (sarahel), Friday, 28 August 2009 02:19 (sixteen years ago)

affirmative action is used to decide who gets the organ

permanent response lopp (harbl), Friday, 28 August 2009 02:24 (sixteen years ago)

affirmative action

Soooo 70's.

dice in my pockets (csa), Friday, 28 August 2009 02:28 (sixteen years ago)

*racial preferences*

permanent response lopp (harbl), Friday, 28 August 2009 02:36 (sixteen years ago)


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