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Enough Is Enough Ladies

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http://whywomenhatemen.blogspot.com/2009/08/wwhm-presents-control.html

Ok, after years and years of trying to be nice and courteous to the female race. I've finally had enough and in search of a long term relationship. Here's what I want.

1.) You have to have the following, Car, Job, and of at least graduated high school. If your a dropout, then please do us a favor, kill yourself.

2.) Smoking Hot - Yes I said it, i'm not the best looking guy, but i'm sick and tired of going after less than what I deserve.

3.) Shitty personality - If you look down on others, then piss off and move on. Find a man who does not give a shit about you and uses you for what your worth, that sweet little honey pot between your legs.

4.) Indecisiveness - Any shred of "I don't know what I want" after you state that someone is everything you ever wanted, will result in a team of women known as my psychotic sisters will hunt you down and leave you wherever they find you

5.) Three Input Girls - if you are then my prayers are answered because I need something to slide something fat, long and ready to go inside of where I wanna put it.

6.) No emotional friends - I've put people in jail and in the ground for this one. You have been warned.

7.) Dedication- you will be with me or report to me on your whereabouts when I ask, and sleep in my bed at all times. You don't need to go on vacations by yourself nor do you feel the need for girl nights outs .

8.) Availability- You should go to work no more than half an hour before you shift starts and you must return home in a timely manner after your shift ends. If you would like to go out with your work "friends" you will go out with me and your "work" friends

9.) Self-Control - I really dislike a woman who tries to show her ass offin public, especially one who goes to night clubs and grinds her ass on every dick in the place. This pisses me off greatly.

10.) Lead on's - If you lead me on, instead of attempting to make a commitment toward a relationship will only lead yourself into getting the biggest dosage of karma you ever received.
Finally...

11.) Ex'es - If you still have a running contact with a ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, ex-lover or ex-fling. Then I will not tolerate that. I have friends in U.S., U.K., CIA, DEA, FBI, NSA, SIS, GSG-9 (I get around).

And if I have the slightest doubt, you know that feeling that your being followed? You are.

Me, workaholic, running a successful business, and highly family oriented that doesn't give a shit, or takes any shit. Must have a preference for big men who are more muscular than fat.

I look forward to talking with all of you women out there and hopefully one of you can be my potential soulmate and make beautiful babies.

Hugh

Poll Results

OptionVotes
5.) Three Input Girls 7
8.) Availability 3
6.) No emotional friends 2
7.) Dedication 1
10.) Lead ons 0
9.) Self-Control 0
1.) You have to have the following, Car, Job, and of at least graduated high school 0
4.) Indecisiveness 0
3.) Shitty personality 0
2.) Smoking Hot 0
11.) Ex'es 0


― What are the benefits of Western democracy, better elections? (DJ Mencap), Friday, 25 September 2009 15:16 (seventeen years ago)

"I need something to slide something fat, long and ready to go inside of where I wanna put it."

― shipley irresistable (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 25 September 2009 15:18 (seventeen years ago)

Like the first half I figured it was lol Tucker Max ripoff bullshit but then it gets to

"You should go to work no more than half an hour before you shift starts and you must return home in a timely manner after your shift ends. If you would like to go out with your work "friends" you will go out with me and your "work" friends"

― shipley irresistable (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 25 September 2009 15:20 (seventeen years ago)

omg Three Input Girls

― should probably be practising shorthand (country matters), Friday, 25 September 2009 15:21 (seventeen years ago)

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/images/plug.jpg

― flying squid attack (tipsy mothra), Friday, 25 September 2009 15:32 (seventeen years ago)

http://images.buycostumes.com/mgen/merchandiser/17904.jpg

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Friday, 25 September 2009 15:34 (seventeen years ago)

http://sub.allaboutcircuits.com/images/03040.png

― Squash weather (Eazy), Friday, 25 September 2009 16:00 (seventeen years ago)

5.) Three Input Girls - if you are then my prayers are answered because I need something to slide something fat, long and ready to go inside of where I wanna put it.

http://www.alan.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/george_bartusekjpg.jpeg

The man and his dates.

― Nathalie (stevienixed), Friday, 25 September 2009 18:05 (seventeen years ago)

hot dog, taquito, and subway sandwich, each with its own hallway

― my other display name is a controversial mod edit (sarahel), Friday, 25 September 2009 18:08 (seventeen years ago)

I stopped reading after 'female race'. Get one dictionary, douchenozzle.

― l'homme moderne: il forniquait et lisait des journaux (Michael White), Friday, 25 September 2009 18:24 (seventeen years ago)

i read the whole thing because i am fascinated by delusional people

― my other display name is a controversial mod edit (sarahel), Friday, 25 September 2009 18:26 (seventeen years ago)

hot dog, taquito, and subway sandwich, each with its own hallway

Where am I going to throw carrot and my eclair?

― l'homme moderne: il forniquait et lisait des journaux (Michael White), Friday, 25 September 2009 18:27 (seventeen years ago)

you'd need a 5 input girl for that

― my other display name is a controversial mod edit (sarahel), Friday, 25 September 2009 18:28 (seventeen years ago)

What the boys at the bar call an ear-nose-and-throat doctor.

― Squash weather (Eazy), Friday, 25 September 2009 18:30 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.cs.uakron.edu/~margush/465/03_images/3nand.JPG
3 x 3 input

― a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Friday, 25 September 2009 18:33 (seventeen years ago)

this may have been discussed elsewhere on ILX but this poll instantly reminded me of this guy:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

― xuxa pitts (donna rouge), Friday, 25 September 2009 20:25 (seventeen years ago)

Reminds me more of this guy, tbh:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32292246/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

― Melissa W, Friday, 25 September 2009 20:39 (seventeen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZGjLpxT4W0

― I can't turn my face into a ♥ (forksclovetofu), Friday, 25 September 2009 21:24 (seventeen years ago)

The tortured syntax and wtfness make 5 endlessly readable, but the list of places he has friends in from 11 is good, too.

― CharlieS, Friday, 25 September 2009 22:34 (seventeen years ago)

Damn. He lost me on 'if your a dropout...' and I did not even get to three input land.

― lacoste intolerant (suzy), Saturday, 26 September 2009 00:10 (seventeen years ago)

this may have been discussed elsewhere on ILX but this poll instantly reminded me of this guy:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

― xuxa pitts (donna rouge), Friday, September 25, 2009 8:25 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah this was my first thought as well but I couldn't recall enough specifics to search for it

― I told u I was deathcore (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 26 September 2009 10:11 (seventeen years ago)

Also fwiw that whywomenhatemen blog is pretty great/awful reading tho you can generally skip the guy's zillion-word commentaries and just concentrate on the nutjobs

― I told u I was deathcore (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 26 September 2009 10:13 (seventeen years ago)

^^^ I did this earlier today. It was cool.

― CharlieS, Saturday, 26 September 2009 10:39 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Wednesday, 30 September 2009 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Thursday, 1 October 2009 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

this pole's results are now in

― alex b. skeaton (tremendoid), Friday, 2 October 2009 01:29 (seventeen years ago)

and it is grounded

― somewhere a poll is missing its wacky write-in vote (sarahel), Friday, 2 October 2009 01:31 (seventeen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FSY0ocze5E

― More Butty In Your Pants (Telephone thing), Friday, 2 October 2009 03:14 (seventeen years ago)

Not enough votes for 'No emotional friends' - I've put people in jail and in the ground for this one

― Toss my salad?? - Niles Caulder, Monday, September 28, 2009 11:49 PM (DJ Mencap), Friday, 2 October 2009 08:37 (seventeen years ago)


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