bad driver signifiers

1) left arm dangling casually out of the car window, hanging straight down

2) drives in the dark without lights on for more than 5 seconds before realizing

3) always slams on the brake just before changing lanes on a highway

4) keeps hitting same fire hydrant

5) when you change into another lane, speeds up so it can seem as though you cut him or her off and then they can honk at you (the other day i had someone honk at me for merging ahead of them when they were 6-7 car lengths behind me)

6) quebec plates

7. periodic veering into another lane on a straight road

8. slowing down for a stop sign or light when one is only half-way there. (A dude did this several times in a row yesterday. It turned out he had a burger and fries on his lap and was eating.)

9. making a left-turn from a non-left turn lane without even signalling

When I change lanes I don't slam on the brakes, but I do slow down a little to give myself some space for looking over my shoulder before I go.

10) ten commandments decal on the back window

11. dudes who look over their shoulder when changing lanes!!!!!

;)

12. the driver is a cat

13. "keep honking i'm reloading"

14. minivan or suv with tv's on in back

xx-post http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_zZHT_alTccg/SK8X_SoO26I/AAAAAAAAA28/5czr_CHprJg/s400/toonces.jpg

Mass plates.

tv in back MAKES ME SO MAD.

15. "unless you're a hemorrhoid GET OFF OF MY ASS!"

10. Tries to pass on right by speeding along side the left lane looking for an opening, only to reach the vehicle ahead of them in the right lane & get pissed off that their plan was foiled & subsequently takes it out on steady left lane flow by threatening to poke into a too small opening until they end up eventually just merging left behind everybody else, much further back than they would have been if they'd kept their original position to begin with.

11. semi-driver does not see you in blind spot & starts to merge into your lane, nearly wiping you off the face of the earth.

xp ENBB - otm

ian: I wait for the day when some right wing nut sees porn playing on those things and they get banned.

18. neon blue shag steering wheel cover.

19. steering with knees while smoking drug pipe

the tv in the back is depressing because it makes me realize that a large portion of an entire generation will spend long road trips with their families watching pixar movies instead of talking, reading, or playing games.

20. Ppl who say "I drive better stoned". No, you really don't.

ehhh

21. In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned.

i'm guessing that it would be technically feasible to build a microtransmitter that would broadcast p0rn or whatever to car tvs.

22. Detroit lean

23. Bumper stickers
24. Too cool for turn signal

xp jordan explain that ehh pls

25. http://www.modchipman.com/images/imagecache/132-150-1736.jpg

26. car is a taxi

i would argue that it's possible to actually drive "better" while stoned, where better means more cautiously, more aware of surroundings etc - also that believing this doesn't make you a bad regular driver

more slowly, more interested in surroundings

I once pulled up behind a pickup truck with a TV in the front of the cab playing a porn movie. Then when the pickup truck turned I could see it was an older couple, maybe in their sixties. This was a few years ago.

27. pretty much any variety of pissing Calvin

more slowly, more interested in surroundings

― steamed hams (harbl), Saturday, September 26, 2009 8:33 PM (15 seconds ago) Bookmark

lol

28. terrorist hunting permit 9-11-01

Aren't the pissing Calvins dying off?

There are a lot of correlations being made between bumper stickers and driver quality in this thread!

29. driving exactly the speed limit

Yeah, instead of below the speed limit.

what's wrong with driving exactly the speed limit?

On some streets it's just posted too high! Like, there will be too many pedestrians and bikers, and too many blind spots, and people will go faster than the speed limit just because they're used to that being reasonably safe.

Aren't the pissing Calvins dying off?

Having recently traveled in northern MI, I can confirm that they are not as ubiquitous as they once were, but are still thriving. Calvin pissing on Obama-related imagery seems to have given the trend an upswing.

many xposts re: more slowly, more interested in surroundings. how about maddeningly slow? I drove behind a car not long ago in my neighborhood that was driving ridiculously slow, braking on a straight stretch of road for no reason...figured it was a cellphone talker or little old granny, and resigned to being stuck behind them til we got to the four lane cross. Pulled to a red light behind the car and I noticed that I could smell what I thought was a skunk. Weird. We don't get skunks in the city. Then...plumes of smoke out the window of the car. Dude was smoking a spliff while he was driving!! LOL.

Yeah, I've driven behind a couple of people who drove slow for unexplainable reasons.

xp - where I live speed limits are regularly posted based on there being a lot of pedestrians, cyclists, etc. such that if you're driving down those streets late at night, the speed limits are retardedly slow.

Xp j ok I think i'm gonna let it go, I exhausted my capacity for dealing w/ those attitudes in the drunk drving vs. texting thread

yeah he was too interested in his surroundings! don't smoke and drive

xps

30) why go about changing lanes in a normal manner when you can coolly, charismatically swerve over really quickly with an abrupt jerk?

lol. my husband used to take pride in this...smoking, answering the phone, and shifting gears (manual transmission).

I am capable of doing this as well (though substitute "messing around with ipod" for "answering the phone"), and I think it's a bit like driving while intoxicated. One can take a certain amount of pride in it, but really, if something unexpected and requiring quick reflexes happens, you are seriously fucked.

It's not a great sign, I don't think, whenever anyone is doing anything at a red light besides patiently and attentively waiting. Dicking around with the radio, fixing up the hairdo, trying to get a quick text in. Especially true if they are so involved that they don't notice the light change. It's as if they are saying, "Ah, finally I can get back to what I'm truly concerned with for a moment."

However, I've said before and will say again: I am a terrible driver. I confess it. I'm Captain Distracted. Notice, though, that I don't drive anymore.

(xxp) I remember once driving down a bumpy single track road in Ireland with my friends, trying to put a tape in the deck and it was jumping around in my hand as the car bounced up and down and i was laughing and then we turned a corner and there was a massive dustcart (aka garbage truck) barrelling towards us and I nearly drove into a ditch.

xxp - there's a lot of that where I live, though the driving without lights on thing is equally common and scarier. The night I got a ticket in Nearby Affluent College Town With Too Many Cops For Its Own Good for having an "irregular headlight pattern", there was a car driving without lights on for about 15 blocks before it turned.

ten to four always seemed both more comfortable and safer, ten to two leaves your hands too close together?

Actually I think that's actually better. Honestly I don't ever do the 10-2 thing, more like 10-4.

lately ive been catching myself driving with my right hand on 11 and left on 1 ie arms crossed over each other.

if you know where the transition point is between your clutch and your gas pedals there's no need for a handbrake start is there? on steep hills i used to just sit there - when i drove - with the car perched right on the point where the gas pedal "caught" the clutch - light changes, vrrroooom

if this was bad for the gears nobody ever told me

― Tracer Hand, Monday, September 28, 2009 7:30 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark

this is exactly what i do.

Ugh, this morning I got stuck behind a guy switching between doing 15 and 25 in a 45 zone. Finally got a chance to pass him and surprise, surprise... cell phone 6 inches from his face texting away. I really wish there was some safe way to let these people know that THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR AT ALL FOR SOMEONE OPERATING A PIECE OF HEAVY MACHINERY.

http://download.lardlad.com/framegrabs/EABF15/28.jpg

I really wish there was some safe way to let these people know that THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR AT ALL FOR SOMEONE OPERATING A PIECE OF HEAVY MACHINERY.

This becomes illegal in Maryland tomorrow, so move here and call the cops!

Will they actually enforce it though? I mean, the hands free law in Chicago amounted to a big, fat pile of no difference at all. I'm skeptical that laws targeting texters will make an impact.

i'm a good driver but i seem to be getting worse. where once i felt like i was aware of everything and on top of it, i increasingly feel oblivious to/overwhelmed by all the things that are going on. this may be a function of driving in nyc, tho

In California they banned talking on a phone but allowed hands-free. But it's a bandaid, because even talking on a bluetooth headset while you're driving still divides your attention. I just think phones, period, are a problem. It's kinda too late to get rid of them altogether...but they're putting out a brushfire with waterpistols as far as I can see. They banned texting AND talking for teenagers...but not adults. So now they have to go back and ban texting. C
It's just kinda ridic.

ooh one I noticed yesterday: stopping over railroad tracks

WTF it's allowed to talk on cellphones in some states/countries? then again uh everyone still does it here. hah

personal freedom isn't it? the right to do risky stuff that might put other people's lives in danger if I fuck it up.

haha i had a total mentos commercial moment with this a few months ago, coming around a corner while on a cell this moto cop who was occupied with another traffic stop saw me, i made a big 'oops, you got me!' face and dropped the phone and he just wagged his finger and smirked and let me pass. i stopped doing it for the most part but tbh the main impetus was getting a new phone that's frustrating to use on the road, whatever works

How about not checking your mirrors before you change lanes AND NEARLY CLEANING ME UP. Luckily there was no-one in the lane next to me so I could swerve and avoid getting frakking sideswiped by this asswipe...but seriously. Check your blindspot, check your mirrors. Is it REALLY that hard?

My walk home takes me through the car park of an office block full of investment banks. So my nomination for number whatever-we're-on is being in the car park of an investment bank.

Luckily I am usually walking through at about 5:35, and leaving before 6 is generally regarded as slacking by investment bankers, so I only get a couple of boy-racing pricks in Saabs, BMWs and Audis accelerating towards my squishy pedestrian arse per week. Still too many.

67. pulls out in front of you to drive 10 miles under the speed limit

68. hummers

70. Pulls out in front of you, the only other car on the road, to slam on the brakes and turn into the very next driveway.

I really wanted to take a photo of this person who was driving down the middle lane of a three lane motorway, large leather bound diary (or something like that) open and balanced on the wheel, phone in one hand, going about 40 mph. But obviously that would have made me a bad driver. Should have just rammed her instead.

Like I said before, I wish there was a way to safely let these people know that shit is NOT OKAY.

Something that happens regularly around here in NJ - not necessarily a sign of a bad driver, but definitely a sign of a rude one: If there's a clearly marked left-turn lane and a straight or right-turn lane, and there's a line of cars in one lane only, someone will invariably get in the other lane, drive up to the front, and then merge back into the lane everyone's waiting in at the last second.

67. pulls out in front of you to drive 10 miles under the speed limit

^ this. I'm terrified of excessive caution. People who slow down for green lights or for obviously clear turns, or who trundle down entry ramps (these are the worst, this is so dangerous) - you think you're being all righteous, in fact I'm having a fit from damn near slamming into the back of you.

you think you're being all righteous, in fact I'm having a fit from damn near slamming into the back of you

Not to be all Mr. Defensive Driver, but I think one should pretty much always assume that anyone could slam on the brakes at any moment, and leave enough following distance to be able to react.

Yeah I know, but it's still so disconcerting when it happens. It also annoys me that I do leave plenty of space for the unexpected, but it only ever seems to get used by slow drivers to pull into. Bloody other people - I just want them to be sensible and largely predictable.

a rude driver is bad driver in my book

The old trick of driving alongside the line of cars and merging in at the last minute is infuriating. When I lived in Detroit and there was a lane closed ahead for construction, a trucker would often pull out into the clear lane (the same lane that was closed further ahead) and deliberately block it, going exactly as fast as the cars in the slow lane, so that 800 selfish drivers couldn't zoom up and merge in at the last minute. They had my gratitude for this and I'm sure they sped up traffic overall.

Yeah I know, but it's still so disconcerting when it happens

I hear you. This has happened to me when there's a green right-turn arrow but the main stoplight is red. I'm expecting someone to slow down but not stop at the intersection, and instead they stop, because they don't see the arrow, and if I'm not on my toes, I would nearly pile into them.

Actually, that used to really annoy me too, until someone pointed out to me that doing it that way scrunches all the congestion up to the roadworks, rather than stringing it all out and blocking junctions. It's actually the patient types who are the selfish ones!

xp to Bnad, that was

That makes sense IF there's another junction or exit that might be blocked by the congestion. Though often this happens in situations where everyone is trying to merge into the same lane and there is no other possible turn. I'm not sure which is more efficient - I guess one might argue that the rude guy is actually making more efficient use of the available roadway. I think that recent book Traffic argues that case, IIRC.

Problem is that when traffic is very heavy, all the last-minute merging activity tends to slow traffic at the merge point to a near-standstill. And this kicks off rapid lane-changing from the type of people who are inclined to respond that way, which slows traffic all the more. I suspect (but don't know) that if everybody just merged as soon as possible/reasonable in a careful and consientious manner, the net effect would be a less dramatic slowdown. Not that that's ever gonna happen.

Agree that when traffic isn't terribly heavy, the last-minute mergers aren't doing any harm.

No, but they're still assholes.

71.(?) Speeds up to cut you off as two lanes merge into one, nearly missing both you and a parked car, only to stop at the next light, flip down the mirror, start applying mascara, and sit oblivious through an entire light cycle while three cars behind honk.

a trucker would often pull out into the clear lane (the same lane that was closed further ahead) and deliberately block it, going exactly as fast as the cars in the slow lane, so that 800 selfish drivers couldn't zoom up and merge in at the last minute.

Partnership on the road! And to think some people don't like driving around trucks....

i read in that recent 'traffic' book that the merge process actually works more smoothly when drivers wait until the last possible minute to merge into the open lane instead of merging over into the open lane at first opportunity. however, i still get pissed at people who stay in the closing lane and then try to merge in right where it's closing, i am irrational human

72. speeds up through crosswalk to avoid having to wait for crossing pedestrians
72a. double asshole points if it's raining

73. riding in the wake of an ambulance

Trying to remember my driving days, not coming up with a ton here, but I suggest

74. Being afraid of passing, other vehicles, big trucks, and up-to-moderate congestion. If being around other vehicles makes you nervous and erratic, you're endangering everyone else. Not to mention pissing them off.

75. http://www.babyretail.co.uk/acatalog/safety1st_baby_on_board_sign_lge.jpg

76. the huge dent in driver's side door of the car that just pulled a left turn from the right lane. some people apparently do not learn.

xpost hahah so true.

left foot up on the dashboard O_O

Saw a left foot out driver's side window just recently! Can't imagine why that would be a good idea or even comfortable.

http://img839.imageshack.us/img839/7144/snowcar3.jpg

refuse to merge when forewarned and continue to remain in your same spot as if insisting your lane still exists and then driving outside the lane when your lane disappears and cutting someone off at the last minute once you finally put 2+2 together.

FUCK YOU.

I told my brother last night that every city I've lived in thinks it has the worst drivers in the world. He said, "It's because every single person thinks they are the best driver and so everyone around them looks bad by comparison." I think he is OTM.

You've never seen bad driving unless you've been to Indonesia. People there behave as if the goal of driving is to overtake whatever is in front of them at all costs, rather than to get safely from A to B. They get bonus points if they can do it whilst texting. It is terrifying.

i've heard driving in the Dominican republic is crazy difficult too