Women's peeves about their guy

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/10/05/tf.loves.pet.peeves/index.html

some of these people are imaginary, right

'the frisky'

I think almost all of them are perfectly reasonable, except for the 2 or 3 that seem to have been written by either robots or retards -- perhaps those are the ones you meant.

Actually most of the writers are pretty charitable about the things that annoy them, ending with "but it's a small price to pay for blah blah blah" sweetness & light.

Sorry, or did you mean the comments AFTER the article? I'm afraid to read those.

My significant other doesn't hear me. I can tell him things over and over, but unless I stand right in front of him and tell him it is important, he never remembers what I tell him.

My way of dealing with it is to bombard him with things when I do have his attention. So what should be a simple statement ends up being about 10 statements, because I know he is listening at that time."
--Suzanne Alicie

"The most annoying thing that a guy could possibly do is look right through you whenever the game is on. The rest of the time you're told you make a better door than a window, but somehow they can see through you then! Game time is the best time for "me time," though. I probably do the same thing when I watch Lifetime!"
-- Jody Morse, East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania

I hadn't gotten to the comments and I know this is totally wrong but after reading that article, especially the quotes Milo and Curt1s reposted reposted, I came across this comment:

Ray
updated 55 minutes ago

It's not that we don't listen....it's that we just don't care.

HERO

to be fair, Suzanne sounds aware that her solution is non-optimal

smart person here

Minor annoyances are nothing in comparison to keeping the peace in a household. We all have annoying habits that can irk our significant others."
-- Pamela Chenevert, Sturbridge, Massachusetts

on the flipside, the woman who folded up and put away the paper towels also = HERO

Is this perhaps the worst lede ever? Finding a boyfriend is only the beginning when it comes to relationship woes.

That sentence is really just kinda o_O. I know what it means, but I don't know if they know what it means, you know?

"He will ask me to watch a movie with him and then he logs onto the Internet and plays poker during the movie. He makes comments and I'll think it's about the movie, but then realize he's making a comment to another online player out loud. I usually leave the room or read a magazine because my interest in the movie is broken. I've told him this annoys me, but he still does it."
--Teresa Mahieu, Junction City, Kansas

this guy is just a dick IMO

Also, lol-ing because in our house I mostly do the laundry and my wife does two of the things mentioned here. (Leaving clothes on floor and not putting them down the chute, and leaving Kleenex, paper towels, wrappers etc. in her pants pockets.) TAKE THAT LADIES.

I don't think much of it means anything, which is kind of reassuring. Like hey, confirmed, any human in the world you live with will do irritating messy things, not always be entirely listening to you, and have a couple weird habits -- all is right and well with the universe.

xpost - yeah, none of these things seem remotely gender-specific, which is probably a good sign for all respondents

"His biggest may be weekend rearranging the man cave by dumping everything in the living room and starting over."

What does this mean?

I despair that I know what this means.

^ okay, that whole one was clearly an abandoned rough draft of a Jean Teasdale column

time better spent rearranging the woman cave amirite

I've always thought "peeves" were weird. GF is totally oblivious when she's wrapped up in projects, the computer, TV shows she likes, etc. And I'm the same way. Only difference is that she gets crazy peeved about it, builds it into this big deal about personal respect. And I don't.

Meta-peeve = peevishness about peevishness. Guilty as charged.

It even contains a sentence that could be interpreted to suggest this woman married her own illegitimate son:

After all, he is the result of the best mistake I ever made.

That's one of the two people that I think might be a robot because that post just makes no sense. Also the one who has to be taken out to Starbucks to placate her when she turns obnoxious. That one is really wtf.

(He has his own guy room, called a "man cave", and likes to spend time rearranging it, but when he does it encroaches on the common family space.)

(A friend of mine has a man cave but his wife mistakenly calls it his "man hole". Whenever he hosts his poker night, she always tells everyone walking in the door that all the guests are already in her husband's man hole. She can't seem to work out why she shouldn't say this.)

I like this comment:

Cat
updated 3 minutes ago

Ketchup on a hot dog is UNnatural? What planet are you from? Ketchup on a hot dog ROCKS!

Ah clear solution to the man cave issue is to make the entire house into mutual cave.

tempted to make one of those isitchristmas type sites. amiwithsomeoneterrible.com or w/e and it just says YES.

My mom does the weekly re-arranging thing, it used to drive me nuts as a kid.

cat otm

So when they moved into my grandfather's old house, my dad and I divided the large living room into two. Now she has her lizards, computer, TV, fish tank, etc. in one room that can be repeatedly arranged without bothering him.

hot dogs are unnatural

show me where "hot dog" appears in the Bible and I will grant that they are natural

"My husband is quite the prankster; he used to fall to the floor at random times and lay there, lifeless, as though he had passed out. I finally conveyed to him that if he ever really passed out, I probably would just walk away and assume that he was up to his usual tricks. I guess the thought of that really scared him, because he stopped doing it!"
-- Jamie Marable, Birmingham, Alabama

what i say what in the hell

"make the entire house into mutual cave" == yes, this is something that has always fascinated me about gender roles w/r/t homes and stuff -- there is even a whole reality show where they build men one room arranged to their (admittedly often hideous) likings. and it always makes perfect sense in terms of a whole bunch of stuff about gender roles and social conventions and whatnot, but at some point it's like geez, this guy is an adult with a job and a house and his own horrible taste, so why does there need to be some private addendum to his home where he can put up his framed Sopranos posters? is control over home function and decor routinely held in quite so gendered a way?

yeah pretty much

no, not entirely

lol

my office has a vintage elliott gould poster lording over everything

Elliott Gould is awesome. Forget the office - that should be in your house.

we don't have any posters on our walls

http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/ssi/story/2.0/banner/the.frisky.inc/the_frisky_logo_cnn.gif

at some point it's like geez, this guy is an adult with a job and a house and his own horrible taste, so why does there need to be some private addendum to his home where he can put up his framed Sopranos posters? is control over home function and decor routinely held in quite so gendered a way?

I mean this is really making me roffle hardcore. I am imagining putting all of my Doctor Who books on the living room shelves and the resulting fight that would happen because of it and... seriously, lol. You do not know how quickly some women will stab you over their living aesthetic, it seems. It isn't really a surprise; there are tons of girl toys surrounding dressing up and decorating, so it would be odd if a larger percentage of women didn't grow up more passionate about controlling the decor of their living spaces than men.

i don't think it's gendered, either, i think when people live together, it's natural for one or both of them to need their own space

one of the first things my bf did when we moved into our apartment was install art on the walls. i initially wanted higher shelves, but we reached a good compromise.

You put his art on the higher shelves?

most of it is art by friends and stuff we bought at benefit sales.

i don't think it's gendered, either, i think when people live together, it's natural for one or both of them to need their own space

This is certainly part of it but I do think there's a gender role component to this when you move into common space, which is where nabisco is perplexed that the guy's wife/girlfriend isn't allowing him to plaster the walls with Sopranos posters.

I am imagining putting all of my Doctor Who books on the living room shelves and the resulting fight that would happen because of it and... seriously, lol. You do not know how quickly some women will stab you over their living aesthetic, it seems. It isn't really a surprise; there are tons of girl toys surrounding dressing up and decorating, so it would be odd if a larger percentage of women didn't grow up more passionate about controlling the decor of their living spaces than men.

This definitely doesn't apply to all women though. I wouldn't care about that sort of thing at all.

I actually shouldn't say "control" is gendered, since it's not like these guys' wives had special rooms to whatever they wanted, but the standard set-up had the wife as the enforcer of social norms like "no tacky posters" and "this area off the living room is supposed to be a den and no, you can't put a poker table in the den," etc. (xpost yeah, Dan, this has always been a set of responsibilities put on women) -- but then eventually they'd leave these guys one little independent space somewhere to mess with, which in the end is not really so imbalanced of a deal, apart from the weird social and symbolic humiliation of being considered inappropriate to your own home

xpost - Dan I'm not perplexed in the least, I just find it like 2% problematic as a cultural thing!

first world problems iirc.

btw - right in the middle of our living room RS has an entire bookcase filled with graphic novels and decorated with Marvel character dolls most of which I bought for him knowing that they'd be displayed there.

The decoration stuff is interestingly intertwined with whose responsibility it is to manage the household in general. I mean, organization of house things in general gets combined with the fact that it's unmasculine to have good taste/cary about design aesthetics, et viola.

To be honest I have probably been pretty lucky that I've never lived with anyone who had a problem with me having a life size stuffed bear or my Alf doll in the living room.

in our storage space right now we have maybe 3-4 broken chairs. some that need to be re-caned, some that need "repair." they've been there for years, and i've stopped thinking about them for the most part.

over the past 16 years

lol u old (nb i am older)

my "taste" in "art" tends to run to maps of the roman empire. so i have one of those, and wife pretty much selected everything else. i don't really care.

cds went into binders last time we moved.

We have a bike in our storage area where basically I think the frame is salvageable but the chain and tires are DOA. I think we can resurrect it but J just wants to get new bikes altogether. Somehow I feel like that is a waste of money (really more like having an operational bike would make me feel guilty about never riding it and I hate guilt more than I hate my slowly-growing gut).

hahaha we keep our bikes in our storage space, too. we only get them out a couple of times a year, but it's worth it and totally fun whenever we do go out. i guess i bought mine with an unexpected bonus, so no guilt there.

(also I not-so-secretly hate keeping things in the basement because J is afraid of it therefore always makes me trudge up and down the two flights of stairs to get stuff or put stuff away)

ENBB: yeah, at one low point in my relationship, I visited a single friend's place and it was very tidy, and he had shelves everywhere, and I felt a bit resentful of the restrictions on shelving because my bf wanted art on the upper parts of the walls. But then I decided that that compromise and sharing was intrinsic to being in a relationship.

Compromise and sharing are intrinsic to being in relationships but I am glad that my relationship doesn't involve very much need for decor compromise, because I wouldn't care enough to fight but I have friends with similarly lax attitudes who live in ridiculously decorated houses and that would be depressing.

i dont own enough stuff to get into arguments with my girlfriend about it

Sarahel - agreed but like I said, the fact that I have my fair share of weird and random stuff laying around has most likely colored the way I feel about this.

We actually have similar tastes and values, and have large collections of books and movies that constantly grow past our capacity to shelve them, so there are piles on the floor.

I stuff my ridiculous amount of yarn behind the book cases. My books. I am in awe of my husband's ability to tolerate my growing stash 'n' book collection.

it's not like these guys' wives had special rooms to whatever they wanted

uhhhhhh the kitchen, wherever the washer/dryer are, etc etc

bad, bad joke

baddest joke in the whole damn town

bad because it's mostly true

Well, whatever you're responsible for, I think you get priority in making decisions about. One of my uncles did all the cooking at his house, he pretty much good-naturedly "tolerated" my aunt's keeping some canned soups etc in the cupboard for when he wasn't home to make a 3-course meal but everything else was HIS business.

btw I don't think the home-space thing is entirely about different interests or tastes, though that's the stuff it plays out around -- what seems more important is that one partner is taking the role/responsibility of keeping a conventionally attractive and functional and socially appropriate home, and therefore being the enforcer of what has to be what way, so the other partner inevitably winds up craving some small autonomous space they can feel is un-enforced and actually theirs.

These articles do my heart justice. So glad I'm single again and honestly really don't mind staying that way. My kids are everything I need.
Steve
updated 18 minutes ago

kinda bummed there are no ads for the remake of "The Stepfather" linked to this article

Mr Veg and I have found middle ground. We have all our cds in the living room...giant Rockband drum kit + guitars...some of my family photos, some of his...and a bunch of original concert poster art we've had framed over the years. we had to come to an agreement on the giant Stuka airplanes, WWII tanks etc...they hang in the computer room & the bedroom, but mainly because we don't really have any shelving in the living room display them...and if given carte blanche they'd be lined up on the dining room table :) But I really don't have too much 'grown up' sensibility about our decor. It's where we live, and it shows that we live there. We're kinda 'stuff' magnets, we like stuff. Some people find it childish but I know guys who aren't even allowed to have their cds on display in the BASEMENT. The only peeve we run into is me leaving my laundry in piles in the closet, and his reluctance to throw anything away (shoes that no longer fit, etc). But we're more alike than we are different, so the niggles don't really spill over that much.

his reluctance to throw anything away

My husband's socks with more holes that fabric have a way of disappearing.

Whoah whoah whoah there are MODEL PLANES at your house?? I want these.

are the stukas over disneyland?

At least its not this article.

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:

1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)

okay that is flat-out fantastic

My husband pretends to listen while he's working but doesn't actually hear the words I'm saying. So, those important conversations I thought we were having tend to be forgotten a day later.

Am I nuts or is one solution here to not try to have "important" conversations while one party is actively doing something else?

8. Scotland (too loud)

I'm not even sure how to go about imagining this

xxp - fantastic because Brits are rated worse than Americans? You realize that according to that list, KBP is rated more highly than you, Dan.

"Am I nuts or is one solution here to not try to have "important" conversations while one party is actively doing something else?"

^^^ solitary posts that effortlessly summarize the spirit of ILX

it's like Groundskeeper Willie got so much action he threw off the poll

the top 5's have a funny catholic/protestant split but after that it breaks down /gabbneb

oh wow, that's a really good point

we need a parenthetical reason for the top 10 too imo

1. Spain (most swarthy)
2. Brazil (most exotic)
3. Italy (most culinary)
4. France (most oral)
5. Ireland (most ginger)
6. South Africa (most segregated)
7. Australia (most formerly convicted)
8. New Zealand (most sheep)
9. Denmark (most there)
10. Canada (most ladylike)

Okay I have a long history with Irish boys and even *I* have no idea how they got to #5.

accent + loads of alcohol

on that note though, waow that Australia made it to #7. must be the blundstones.

sorry, what's this thread about now? I lost attention right when I read the bit about the hott sweaty Turks...

stop objectifying

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/06VdcF4gmk8ZM/610x.jpg

hahaha I was about to make an oil-wrestling joke

don't try to carry on an important conversation with me when I'm clearly busy lusting

^^ I think that's already in the site FAQ

can't speak. I've got these naked Turks to oil. I may be some time.

"peeves" is some sort of clinical term then, I guess?

on that note though, waow that Australia made it to #7. must be the blundstones.

― VegemiteGrrrl, Monday, October 5, 2009 2:00 PM

based on the cited explanation i'm pretty sure it's b/c they give it to you prison-style

but seriously read that list again this poll = one writer sitting around making up a pisstake

Prison-style = into a rolled up towel that's wrapped around ziplock baggies filled with warm water?

or in the butt, whichever is easier

Prison-style = into a rolled up towel that's wrapped around ziplock baggies filled with warm water?

― that stupid-ass cannibal pen-pal of yours (Laurel), Monday, October 5, 2009

Overwhelming Exquisite Feeling! (possibly NSFW)