What do you most admire about the opposite sex?

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This might sound like a really wanky arse-licking new man question, but it isn't. So ner.

I admire the way women cope so well with not living up to all the bullshit they absorb from the media and society at large about what constitutes physical attractiveness. I mean I find it hard enough as a man (who looks like a rock star). If I were a woman I'd never leave the house.

― , Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I find it really difficult to make generalisations - I mean I can tell you what I think is admirable about individual women I know but saying "Women are admirable because X" is...I don't know, a bit too vague. I suppose I'd agree with you that the way women cope with this or that aspect of society is good, like appearance-judgement for instance, but of course not all women cope with it and a lot of women collude with it where it's to their advantage. So I'm still really saying, yeah I admire those women who cope with it, not women in general.

The most general thing I can say is - I admire women who kick against stereotypes of what being a woman is. But I admire a lot of traditionally feminine qualities in anyone, too - politeness, empathy, lightness of touch - so do I even really mean that...?

Oh no, actually, there is a generalisation I can make - I admire how women put up with periods. Or is that like saying someone with cancer is 'brave', since they've got no choice really about it?

― Tom, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I admire the way men can effortlessly assemble flat pack furniture. I have assembled stuff before with no problem but the chest of drawers last night has totally defeated me and I renounce feminism as a silly idea. According to the instructions it should take 1 3/4 hours to assemble. 3 hours later (at 11:30 pm) I had managed to screw the drawer runners in place and put together 3 out of 5 drawers. I had also managed to liberally apply PVA glue to my carpet, hair and fingers. All this has put me in a foul mood and given me very bad backache and caused me to whinge to everyone about this all day.

I have a bevy of young men coming round at the weekend to do it for me, isn't that right Pete and Tom? I also need to buy a hammer, does anyone know of a hardware shop near Oxford St? I will stand back and make them cups of tea with 15 sugars and do girls stuff.

― Emma, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, look, periods are really not that bad. I know some people have a bad time but the wonders of modern science mean it rarely has to be that bad. The only bad thing is that whenever I'm in a badder mood than usual men give each other that annoying 'must be her time of the month' look. Very patronising. If you want to be concerned about our reproductive systems, worry about childbirth. Ouch.

― Emma, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Let's be fucking honest here. I admire breasts.

― Greg, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was waiting for that answer.

― Nick, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I admire the way that boys survive having to become masculine and not cry, it must be horrible and after you have known boys for a really long time, you come to see how painful it is. That seems more painful than a period that only happens once a month. I mean, for example, you crash your car and the other driver gets out and screams at you, and you can't just burst into tears even though you are really shocked. And same thing in high school, when you are walking across the school playground and some boys start being mean to you in front of everyone. And so on. Even more than that, though this isn't universal to every boy, I admire boys who stay crybabies. I mean, not fake crying but simple, tears in their eyes, and wiping them away after a while. Crybabies are the best ever really!

― maryann, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

According to the instructions it should take 1 3/4 hours to assemble

I thought this was a chest of drawers not a fucking space shuttle! You left *that* bit out of the job description. Oh well, it's something to take our mind of Chums I suppose.

― Tom, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i'm not sure i know what my opposite sex is.

― Geoff, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i admire how the girls in my house are really handy and stuff. they can put up curtains, bits of furniture and stuff which i'm not really very good at. i really admire that.

did i get something wrong?

― gareth, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Emma, a five drawer chest of drawers should only take about three quarters of an hour or so really. Mind you my saturday job years ago was putting furniture together in Texas (the diy store not the state), cabin beds a speciality.

It's a darn sight quicker if you use an electric screwdriver though, this also prevents unsightly blisters

― cabbage, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I also admire the way boys are tall and can see over crowds and stuff. (I was about to go off into a man-hating rant along the lines of 'I admire the way they can lie and cheat and deceive and be cruel without a second thought' but that would merely seem bitter and would provoke a stream of injured boys moaning about girls who have broken their hearts so I won't.)

― Emma, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I admire women for their persistence at attempting to do things despite their general uselessness and I admire men for their persistence at continuing living despite their general pointlessness.

Alternate 'admire' with 'disdain' depending on mood.

― dave q, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dave q., you're not a nice man, are you?

― Nick, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I admire the fact that if women suddenly start bawling and saying " I can't take it !" they are comforted while men are ran away from. ALso I admire that women dont have to fight, although it would suck to be rapeable

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Mike, you've obviously had great luck with your cellmates so far!

― dave q, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I admire a man who can drink as much as me.

― Madchen, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I dont mat e with cells, what are you talking about?

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I admire the female booty. It's just more pert and lovely.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That being said, Dan removed his garter belt and panties and got into his "public " clothes with a sad sigh.

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I want to answer this question, but I don't want to sound like a misogynist.

― Kerry, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

DO you dislike mairraige proposals Kerry?

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I dislike marriage, but I do collect marriage proposals.

― Kerry Keane, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I admire how men can pick their nose, burp, fart, scratch their bum... I also love to check out their *ass cracks* when they bend over and pick up their porn mag.

― nathalie (nathalie), Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Guys do cry. A party the other night, about five people maybe left on the street waiting for a taxi, 3am. a friend of mine started a fight with a friend of some years and completely broke down. Then started fighting again. the punchee and friend left, so there were just me, the cryer and another guy left. And these aren't pooft cosmpoplitan guys, these are pretty plain yorkshire folk. I'm feeling a bit awkward but the other guy is perfectly adept at comforting the guy in tears. Then later on when everyone else knew what happened - and this is the important bit - everyone lies about the details. "He was coming to hug me, i was like, okay, okay (makes puching away movement)". You don't give away weaknesses.

― matthew james, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I like how men are way more delusional than women. I totally mean that as a positive thing, it's hilarious and noble that someone can convince themselves that after ages of being put off a girl is still into them, if a bit frightening.

― Ally, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sorry Nick, but this is a silly question. Generalisations are dumb, and although this is a thread for positive stereotypes there really isn't much difference between this and my stoopid friend spouting his nonsense.

― DG, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kerry do you accept mairage proposals from funny one eyed men? Something tells me Ally could kick Nicks arse.

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What does my ass-kicking ability have to do with anything?

― Ally, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Generalisations aren't dumb. Education, culture and upbringing does make males and females act differently. It would of course be silly to think that men never cry for example. But it is a fact men and women are different.

― nathalie (nathalie), Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Better to have your foot up NIck's arse than in your mouth, tart!

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No comment on that one, Mike....

― Kerry, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wouldn't say it is a FACT (proven with science by Carol Vorderman) that men and women are different just because they're men and women. All men are different, all women are different. The differences stem from that, not simply what they've got between their legs.

― DG, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

NOW what are you on about, Mike?

― Ally, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I liek cheese cake, though it IS a bit rich. I sat on the cake. i was king.

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

trust me, ally - women can be just as delusional.

― sundar subramanian, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i can't pinpoint anything that is common to all men that i admire. but i am jealous of the way that if a man is a complete pratt, he's a "troubled artist" so he is still worth knowing, but if a female acts in he same way she's a "psycho" and you are best warned to stay away.

― lady die, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Women get a lot more options with clothes and looks. Especially when it comes to really dressing up. We get our tuxedo monkey suits and women can go with all sorts of gowns and colors and jewelry. And it seems less strange for a woman to study literature or art, than a man. (Although, when it comes to the canon, things are reversed.)

― bnw, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Again Mike, what the hell are you on about?

DG, I agree that generalisations are dangerous, but only when statistical differences between two groups are used to either repress one group en masse, or to make unwarranted extrapolations about the reasons for such differences. I don't think either of those apply here.

I do think there are large differences between men and women. A weak form of this argument seems unarguable (ie. the kind of differences in societal pressures that each face, as referenced in my own suggestion). I agree with Tom that not all women cope brilliantly with the situation I outlined, and that some may even make it worse for others, but that so many women seem not to let it ruin their lives seems impressive to me. A stronger form of the argument is that their are inherent psychological/personality differences between the sexes. I would tend towards subscribing to this as well, whilst emphasing that such differences should be viewed as statistically descriptive, *not* prescriptive.

All this might be said to undermine the very premise of the question, that such things can be admired. You might argue that if something is determined by your sex then what's the point in admiring it? But, depending on how deterministic your outlook, this could be extended to disparaging any attempts at commending anyone for anything.

Perhaps the question would be more safely restated as "What do you like most about the opposite sex?" Although that would be even more likely to turn into a "What turns you on?" thread.

― Nick, Saturday, 4 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Dangerous" isn't the word I would've used Nick, more like "silly".

― DG, Saturday, 4 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(Irony)I like how women are good at, y'know, cooking and cleaning and stuff.(/Irony)

― Sterling Clover, Sunday, 5 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sterling - where are these 'women who are good at cooking and cleaning' of which you speak? Because I sure as hell can't find any!

― dave q, Sunday, 5 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

dave: I saw them once on TV Land.

― Sterling Clover, Sunday, 5 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am considered " dangerous" in bed, and I use technique number 4 and 87.

― Mike Hanley, Sunday, 5 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's not so much that generalisations can't be made, but that I prefer not to use/invoke them because I've never come across an inter- gender situation where they don't make things worse. That doesn't invalidate this thread of course but it makes it tough for me to answer it.

― Tom, Monday, 6 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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