Workplace Morale Boosters: Dud or Dud?

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For the love of God - we are having an "in service" day next week.

We have to wear matching t-shirts and watch a movie together.

This morning, I got an e-mail saying that we also have to break up into groups of five or six and write and perform skits!

Skits about the functions of the library.

I can't do this. I am going to wear a fake animal head in my skit so no one can see what a bad actress I am.

Oh, and it's mandatory. We have to go. Is there any disease I can contract that is not too excruciating, lasts about a day, but is debilitating enough to warrant my staying home?

I'm off to find some poison ivy...

― Kerry, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

OH MY GOD ! THats such bullshit! I would be sick if I were you, or say there was someemergency. GOd, thats really gross. Quit.

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kerry, in the skit pretend you're a guy who's just got his resignation, flips out and kills his boss. Then when the new boss comes you can give him the evil look and say:"You could be next!".

― nathalie (nathalie), Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The thing is, most of the people here also think it is bullshit. Our director resigned due to illness, and we have temporary management who think this is a good idea. So it's not an indication of the climate here and I don't feel compelled to quit - I even bitched about it to my boss, who thinks the whole thing is silly.

― Kerry, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

you must escape. Office is NOT the place for bonding

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

That's not what I saw on a program. Christ, sex seems to be happening more *in* than outside the office.

― nathalie (nathalie), Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Go along with the planning of the skit, then when it starts, drop the original character and lurch around like a hunchback. Whenever one of your lines comes up, growl, "I HAVE SCABIES! SCAAAAAAAAAABIES!!!!" Ineffectually bop the other members of the skit on the head.

If that doesn't boost office morale, I don't know what will.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I will do my work . I will get paid . I am happy.

― anthony, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I went through this a couple of weeks ago. Stuffed fish were thrown at us. The whole program was based around some fish mongers in Seattle who have a great time at work.

I was incredulous.

― Steven James, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

OK, so there's ONE reason I should be thankful that I don't work in a traditional workplace.

― David Raposa, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"The man who has no inner life is the slave of his surroundings." - Henri Frederic Amiel, Swiss critic (1821-1881).

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day."

― Andy, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

We have a dress like an athete day soon. I am thinking of going as Annabelle Chong.

― anthony, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

How bizarre. All of our company morale boosters are great, we go on cruises or rent out Tavern on the Green and drink monsterously. The worst is that at the company outing we have to do SPORTS for a couple hours, but we're drunk so no one cares. This matching t-shirt bullshit or theme shirt days - good lord.

― Ally, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

RE Anabelle Chong

A gangbang would definitely boost morale

― Steven James, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ally do you work at a bar?

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wouldn't worry, if you're co-workers think the skits is a crap idea, you can all be half hearted about it, and mess about...and you get to see a movie (I hope it's not a fire training one!)...Though the T-shirts that is tres lame...I would certainly not want to be seen in matching t-shirts. I'm assuming this is all in work time?...

Just do a skit where people come into the library and say "do you have this book?"..."yes it's on the shelf, I'll get it for you" (that was my experience of working in a library)

― jel, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There's one problem. The one person who thinks this is a splendid idea...is in my group! It is during work time, but I have enough to do and would rather do my work. My morale is fine, thanks, but when you tread on my "inner life", I get pretty ornery. I'm here to work, they should be happy about that.

Oh, and the movie they're showing is the film version of "Who moved my cheese", if anyone knows what that is.

― Kerry, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I work in real estate. Our parties have hooker rooms.

― Ally, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yeah, when I was on vacation in Wisconsin, I met a bunch of people from a Famous Technology Company in a bar. A bunch of people were on a weekend retreat with their boss, and they were all getting shitfaced. Then they invited us back to their cabin to get high. With their boss.

(We declined, though - as friendly as they seemed, going to cabins in the woods with strangers is not a good idea)

― Kerry, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jesus, if there's anyone I woiuldnt want to be intoxicated with its my co workers who I hate. I would end up telling them all how I really felt about them

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the film version of "Who moved my cheese": that's actually a pity, because the original mime version — yes, I know, it's based on a board-game, gimme a break — is surely the only avant-garde theatre piece to have produced no less than THREE novelisations. One of em isn't even that bad!

― mark s, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

After reading some of these "workplace morale" booster stories, I knew there had to be a reason why I went to law school.

Though law firm partners, judges, ethics committees and law professors have other, much more effective ways to humiliate young lawyers than making them parade around in animal costumes.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 3 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In NZ a huge telecommunications party had their work party for about 1000 people obviously half women and the theme was '1 night in Bangkok' and they hired live elephants and REAL THAI ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT STRIPPERS and that is what corporations do. I worked in a university as a teacher and we had a morale booster meeting where we got told to smile continuously please! In a UNIVERSITY!

― maryann, Saturday, 4 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

eight months pass...

Morale Boosters are awesome no matter what they are You should thank god that you don't work for a bunch of Duds. Why go to work if you can't have fun!!!! Quit your bitching!!

― Betsy, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kerry, HR has found you! RUN!!!!

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You should thank god that you don't work for a bunch of Duds.

Every time I thank god for anything he beats me down, makes me wear a tutu and covers me in lipstick. I'm switching religions. (Please note I might be confusing god with my own reflection, a common occurence.)

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ned, I have NEVER done that to you. (Well, maybe the tutu, but that only happend once.)

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

nine months pass...

Not to intrude on your discussion, but you guys have it pretty easy. I'm in the military. Be thankfull that you aren't like me. I work and I live with my co-workers. It's non-stop 24/7. There is no getting away, because I am on an Island. We wake up, we work together, and we go to sleep seeing each other. The line seperating professional and private has become so blurred that it doesn't exist anymore. Be thankful.

― Modom, Monday, 3 February 2003 11:05 (twenty-three years ago)

four years pass...

Everyone responsible for the Staples "That Was Easy" button campaign and the toads who spend five bucks on those fucking buttons need to be beaten with hammers.

― Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 23 May 2007 17:49 (eighteen years ago)

The whole program was based around some fish mongers in Seattle who have a great time at work.

I know these guys. Always laughing, shouting out fish orders and throwing salmon around like it's the best thing ever. I think they're called "flair-mongers" now.

― everything, Wednesday, 23 May 2007 17:54 (eighteen years ago)

People actually bought those buttons?!?!????!?!?!??!

― Abbott, Wednesday, 23 May 2007 18:14 (eighteen years ago)

Every time I saw them in Staples, I envisioned some poor factory outlet store having to try and sell them until the Maya calendar finally took care of it all in 2012.

― Abbott, Wednesday, 23 May 2007 18:16 (eighteen years ago)

People actually bought those buttons?!?!????!?!?!??!

One person at work bought one and there's a couple dozen of them up on eBay.

― Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 24 May 2007 22:10 (eighteen years ago)

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