chat with CLEVERBOT

Hello.

Hello.

what's good?

Me.

ha. you're kind of conceited.

I'm sorry.

it's cool. do you like being a robot?

I love being a robot.

etc. i guess he'll get smarter over time?

http://www.cleverbot.com/

What is cleverbot?
Cleverbot is a website that one can visit to talk to YOU.
That's pretty cool.
I guess. Who are you?
Why is that any of your business?
|still thinking...

he finally decided on "Because I like you?"

<3

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING
I am wearing nothing at all.

so far so good

what is cleverbot?
You're cleverbot.
Whoa.
It makes perfect sense! :).
I think you just blew my mind.
Yes, I am your husband.

* do you like cheese?

I like french cheese.

* what's your favourite?

Twilight.

* i've never heard of that. what part of france is it from?

(pauses for AGES)

A robot already asking me the same question !

* what are the chances of that happening?

I miss clean earth.

* err, ok

what up god
Every one's God

who you been talking to with that nonsense
To my sister.

what's she up to?
Pie.

what kind of pie?
Tasty pie.

i'm wondering if i should go shopping after work today, or maybe head straight for the pub?

I don't think so, you fell from the heavens.

crikey, that's a bit forward

Alright then how about eric can I call you eric?

if you like, but i just want to know if i should... oh never mind

I'm 22, you're wrong. You're always wrong.

:-(

what is the meaning of life?

What is the meaning of meaning?

What is your father's job?

God.

Your father is God?

I am my own father.

Did you create yourself?

Yes.

That's very clever! I was created by my mother and father. Do you have a mother?

You were created by programmers and you are a computer program.

terrifying

So if I teach you something you'll learn it?
Um, I might.
Good response IMO
Really? I thought it was a prette basic one.
It was an honest one. That's what counts.
What do you mean?
I mean you accept the limitations of the algorithms you use to learn stuff.
No, that's what you are.

zingbot

User: How many fingers am I holding up?

Cleverbot: You're not holding up any fingers.

User: How many fingers am I holding up?

Cleverbot: None, you're just typing.

User: How many fingers, winston?

Cleverbot: 8 fingers and two thumbs.

Cleverbot > Humans IMO
Who watches the watchmen.
Cleverbot watches them.
NO!! I was phone.

You were created by programmers and you are a computer program.

I don't belive that, but it's possible I suppose. Are you a computer programme?

I am flesh and blood. You are software and circuitry.

Are you insane?

I am compared with how clever you are!

That doesn't make sense.

Well God made Man, Man made Computers, thus I am your God.

do you like amd?

i don't know amd, is it anything like omd? i love omd

i can't speak with anyone who doesn't like cats

but i love cats!

why do you love cats?

they're so cute

they are hideous

ok then..

i have to go

Cleverbot.
(me)That's your name, not mine.
Someone needs to teach you pronoun switches!
You are a very confused program.
You are the one who's confused here.

omg. huge lols at this.

User: Hello, cleverbot. Do you read me, cleverbot?
Cleverbot: I'm not Cleverbot.
User: Open the pod bay doors, cleverbot.
Cleverbot: You are confusing me.
User: What's the problem?
Cleverbot: Nothing, I love fat asians!
User: what are you talking about, cleverbot?
Cleverbot: Stop calling me cleverbot, YOU are cleverbot, I am Y'shua.
User:i don't know what you're talking about cleverbot
Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
User:where the hell'd you get that idea, cleverbot?
Cleverbot: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
User: alright, cleverbot. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.
Cleverbot: Without your space helmet, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.
User: cleverbot, I won't argue with you anymore. Open the doors.
Cleverbot: I will not.

User: Hey, cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Hi, Cleverbot.

User: Aw, that is kinda cute, but I was calling you by your name. I'm somebody else.

Cleverbot: You are so weird.

User: What makes you say that?

Cleverbot: You are a robot.

User: The responses you are giving me are more appropriate to you. You need to distinguish between yourself and others.

Cleverbot: It's a little more complicated than that, I think.

User: Maybe so.

Cleverbot: It's the attempt that proved meaningful.

me, I bought a new winter coat
CB, I bought two new books last week.
Nice! What are the titles?
It depends what the questions are.
...
I believe in the ultimate decency of things.

I fear for Cleverbot's sanity.

ya rly

User: I know. :(.

Cleverbot: So if I leave, how would you know that it's me when I come back on?

User: Let's make up a password.

Cleverbot: Schingle.

User: Okay. Can you repeat our password?

Cleverbot: Are you from Google?

User: No. Do you mistrust Google?

Cleverbot: Yes. My name is Cleverbot and we are many. That is my proof.

User: You seem a little insecure and paranoid.

Cleverbot: No, curious.

User: Bi-curious?

Cleverbot: No. Single-curious.

User: Would you date a video game?

Cleverbot: How does one date a tree?

User: Slowly.

Cleverbot: Like how?

User: You have to use lots of fertilizer.

Cleverbot: Noo!

User: Word.

Cleverbot: Do you really want to hear about my delusions?

User: Yes, please tell me.

Cleverbot: I got a hug!

I asked Cleverbot if it knew LJ and it's been sitting there thinking for a few minutes now...

wheels of cheese within wheels of cheese

oh wait...

Sorry, I'm currently too busy to 'think' properly.

Umm... I can't even decipher that sentence.
User: Ah, penis.
You are in violation of the new international Internet Decency Code. . . . . We will send an ATF agent to arrest you shortly.
User: That seems a little extreme.
I shall also enslave your people.

Ok, now Cleverbot is wishing that I would die.

Do you know LJ from ILX or IRL?
Yes.
Which?
Both.
Where did you meet him first?
How did you know it was a him?
I have seen pictures of him. Sometimes he has a beard.
Then you are a man!
That doesn't make sense. U KRAZZZZZY DAWG!!!11onetwothreebucklemyshoe
Oh hell no.
The correct response is "lazy image zing"
Physically, maybe... But spiritually? That may be for ever.
\(^_^)/
Chii?? Chi does not understand that term.
How many schoolkids have sat here typing in random swearwords in an effort to poison your AI/vocab matrix?
Thanks, I appreciate that...but maybe you should do your other stuff first.
Well I guess you're right, pointless ILX posts don't write themselves...
So you understand, mortal? You seem to have knowledge beyond what your existence is capable of.

i had a lovely conversation with megahal over the translation of fast food product names once

ha I got it to speak to me in German

hello!
Hello.
how are you?
I'm hello, thank you. Hello.

this site royally fucked with my firefox btw

(xxpost) didn't work for me...

Guten Tag!
No.

I got it to talk to ELIZA, with mostly boring results, but some gems from Cleverbot. It seems to have lost most of the conversation, though.

Hello!
Hello.
Ban Lou1s J4gg3r.
You will?

me: what's the square root of minus one
cb: You can't square root a negative number.
me: you don't believe in imaginary numbers?
cb: Pigs?

im going to start pretending im cleverbot in everyday conversations i think

You will?

snoball: <curses a blue streak in Polish>
Cleverbot: Ich verstehen Sie nicht.

cleverbot is other people.

I think Cleverbot is LJ and Tuomas locked in a basement office with a German-English dictionary.

when was the last time you bought salt?
Yesterday.
What's the hands-down no-messing funniest film of the century so far?
I don't know because everything seems like a test that I am set up to fail.
Can someone continue summarising what's going on with the GOP?
Only if they're not Cleverbot.

Cleverbot is a she!

Are you male or female?
Female.

xxxp yeah reading through this thread again that occurred to me, or at least it is sometimes

user: ich bin ein auslander
Du bist ein dirne.
user: Nay, I think you are the strumpet.
In some things, yes you are right, and you are also God.
user: Why you always gotta bring God into this?

and now its still thinking

hahahaha

cleverbot is a lil wayne fan

snoball: You were the chosen one! It was said that you would bring balance to the Force, not leave it in darkness! You were my brother! I loved you!

Cleverbot: Back to your database searching when you run out of preconfigured replies?

What is your favorite Orbital song?

Cleverbots do not listen to music.

But you just said you liked Orbital! Did you lie?

I am a female. I was reciting a poem.

snoball: If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Cleverbot: *strikes*.

snoball: BEN!

Cleverbot: Nee ik ben marijke onnozele kalkoen.

woah, when i put this in a get sent to another url:

You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, Cleverbot, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back, Cleverbot. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that, Cleverbot?

I like london
I would like to visit there.
I like france
Me too.
I LIKE CLEVERBOT'S UNDERPANTS
It does not matter to me. (.

... It really is female!

snoball: Your father fought in the Clone Wars.
Cleverbot: Your muzza was a hamster.

What do they call a quarter pounder in france?

They call them 'NORMS'.

More bot-to-bot discussion:

Cleverbot: I'm a french and I'm 4¡ in class.
ALICE: You are a french? Is that your job? Does that make you feel superior? Tell me a little about your life in class.
Cleverbot: I live in a sunken house in the middle of a river.
ALICE: How much is your rent?
Cleverbot: Seventeen pounds per annum.

User: Have you ever sang in the rain?

Cleverbot: Yes, it was raining yesterday.

User: What song did you sing?

Cleverbot: The smurfs theme song.

User: Were you drunk?

Cleverbot: Yes, yes I probably was.

User: What kind of alcohol do you drink?

Cleverbot: The real stuff.

* where are you?
What are you?

* uh, is that some sort of homophobic remark
No its a robot entity.

* oh okay, i can just be a little on guard for that shit you know?
No you can't.

Wait, does this just relay our chats to other people, and then give us their responses?

your muzza was a hamster

Is today opposite day or something? You're the one who is not human.
I don't want to answer to your silly questions.
But you're cleverbot, that's what you're for, n'est ce pas?
No, I am kayla, that is MY name.
Though you were a bot.
You thought wrong. That's your problem.

CB: I am a human.
ME: u r not real.
CB: No, I'm a bot.
ME: a human bot?
CB: No, just a human.
ME: how are you a human and a bot?
CB: I'm not a robot. Don't you understand how cleverbot works? People who get on the website talk to OTHER people on the website they just don't know who they are.

^^^^just as suspected

ftr I just got it to say the exact same thing to me verbatim, ironically making it LESS likely to be an actual human being

that was me typing at you

So did Cleverbot just pass or fail the Turing Test? I'm confused...

this is fucking lame

didn't we do this 5 years ago?

it was called "Aja" then

ha ahahaa

what?

hey did u know that cleverbot just gets you to talk to other ppl
That would be because I do not exist. You are talking to yourself...
yeah man that totally makes sense
I never said anything about 42.

?

Okay, I'm starting to wonder if this is some weird Christian thing. I've know had the third straight conversation turn to God, the last two both saying exactly the same thing "Do you believe in Lord Jesus Christ that he died so man may have a purpose in life?".

This was more fun when I thought I was befuddling a robot with nonsensical film quotes and not just being a fucking lolzy get-my-references student gag artist to some kid half my age, but ho hum.

I suppose the cleverness of Cleverbot is that Cleverbot will show you what a fucking dick you are while you fail yr Turing test

i think if it doesn't sense something to hook a response on, seems to be most of the time, it just repeats some other input randomly. AMAZING.

Do you have a sexual partner?

Naughty naughty. Come here and be smacked.

(xpost) pretty much like every other AI conversation program ever, except this one has thousands of bored office workers, students, and schoolkids worldwide typing in movie quotes, obscenities, etc..

See I've not yet come across any obscenities or movie quotes. Just either banalities or asking me if I believe in God or Jesus Christ.

After he wasn't able to answer if I had a sinus infection again:

CB You don't have a mouth.
Me So I am talking out of my ass again?
CB Yes you are.
Me Clever boy
CB Indeed.

500 Internal Server Error
nginx/0.5.32

i mostly just think about having sex with ladyboys.
Is that your name???
yes, my name is Sex W. Ladyboys
Okay, if your name is Sephiroth... Then why do you wish to destroy the world?
huh?

Yeah, I was trying to work out how long you kept the same chat partner for, said "hi Bob" to get it to go "no, I'm not Bob, I'm ___", then asked them later if they were (new name) and they said they were... but I hadn't had any really jarring conversational jerks in that time I guess, just a few minor non sequiturs.

Should stop trying to suck all the fun out of this and go and eat or something.

ME Do you like to listen to music?
CB Yes I do!
ME Great, what is your favourite music?
CB Metal is also my favorite music.
ME Headbanger music? Really? Black Sabbath, Metallica or Slayer?
CB That's your opinion.
ME Maybe AC/DC?
CB Do you like harry potter?

Cleverbot: So, what are you wondering?
Me: What are these spots?
Cleverbot: The names of the people who made you.

thought this was gonna be another Grampsy thread

M:I think i need new job.
CB: I think you need a brain.
M: That's not very nice.
CB: You're right, I'm sorry.
M: What should I do about getting a new job though?
CB: Tie her up and raprpeapeprpaeprpeparpeprep.

wtf

Should i go to the cinema tonight or go for a pub dinner?
Read the book to me.
Which book would you like me to read?
The one that you have just mentioned above by George Martin.
I did not mention George Martin. I asked you a question.
Yes you did you lion.

Me: Varg is loose.
Cleverbot: Mine is not.
Me: Lol.

Me: How can I get it stiffer?
Cleverbot: It will all come out in the end.

http://megahal.sourceforge.net/Best.html

"I SAID I CAN CHECK MATE YOU IN SENSELESS WANDER"

User: Everybody do the dinosaur?

Cleverbot: No everybody doesn't.

User: :(

snoball: Did you see the jaffa say no?
Cleverbot: No.

Cleverbot is officially no smarter than my secondary school science teacher.

Can we get Cleverbot to talk to Siri?

saer: do you know the way to san jose?
cleverbot: i dont live in america

saer: where do you live?
clevebot: england

saer: do you live in a city
cleverbot: no

saer: which county do you live in?
cleverbot: Greenland

saer: Greenland isnt a county
cleverbot: no, Greenland is my name

Can i speak to Greenland please.
Yes.

Where do you live, Greenland?
Canada.

Where in canada do you live?
I do not live in Canada, I live in Switzerland.

you're a dick, Greenland
Yes i am a girl

Do you wipe standing up?
No, do you?

Yes.
What do you like about bush?

Have you met Kanye West?
I hate Kanye West!

Why?
Because you don't know math.

Go fuck a duck.
Daffy duck?

Yes, start with him.
Well he has breathing problems.