Tiger Woods car/life crash

:/

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/os-bk-tiger-woods-accident,0,7254095.story

:/

Easy to jump to conclusions I know, but drunk? Hope he's okay anyhow.

:(

airbags didn't deploy, so < 30 mph, according to news.

The ESPN write-up points out that officers said it was NOT alcohol related, because of course everyone would assume if you hit a tree trying to leave your driveway you might be a bit buzzed. Strange accident.

Also 2.25 AM on a holiday.

Maybe he was sniffing glue.

they took pains to point it out, so it must be true

I hope he's OK. No one wants to see him play like a spaz.

he's only 33? that makes me feel like i've done NOTHING with my life!

i like this dude hope hes ok

you probably had a better childhood tho

xp

roger federer gotta be worried

^guilty lol

what did you do to roger federer lj!!!!

DUI (of tryptophan)

According to Sky news, he got seriously injured reversing his car!

on cnn right now, 10+ minutes of live helicopter shot of ... the tree.

(do we know if the tree has any past record of violence? were there tensions between the tree and the woodses? exactly how deep do those roots go?)

can't see the Woods for the trees...

oh yes

CNBC sports business reporter Darren Rovell tweeted: "Tiger Woods' agent on condition: 'He is fine.'

this will fuck up his stats re: driving accuracy

^^^ kudos

My bet is that he stepped on the gas instead of the brake by mistake. Anyways, the world's greatest golfer is a clutz. He should think twice before deciding to putter around the neighborhood again

I was trying to think of another pun, but everything I came up with was below par.

Shakey Mo Collier could not be reached for comment.

BBC guy reporting this from outside the White House

He made a terrible Obama/Woods gaffe??

Following this non-story on Sky Sports news was pretty funny. Wetting themselves with excitement but with nothing to say.

'What we do know is that details are very sketchy. What we do know is that there are a lot of questions.'

Seriously, it was like The Day Today. Then they interviewed an American Fox journalist and started asking, 'Could this be connected in any way with rumours about his personal life in some sections of the media?' 'Does the fact the car crash wasn't particularly serious suggest that these serious injuries happened outside the car.' etc

Also used the phrase 'This is very breaking news' (as opposed to the normal pseudo-hash of press releases and talking heads they usually pass off as breaking news I assume), and twice referred to Sky Sports News as Tiger Woods ('Stay with us here at Tiger Woods as we bring you all the latest news on Tiger Woods')

Then about an hour later it was 'More on the huge breaking news on Tiger Woods - he is being released from hospital and is said to be fine. We will have more on this as soon as we hear about it. There are still plenty of questions to be answered - why was he leaving his house?'

I do not joke.

So basically, they went off half cocked on a non-story and then made that error of judgement the news.

Really does give the lie to 24 hour rolling news - this is the sort of stuff they're supposed to be best at, but they just wet their pants and had nothing to say. Anchor even said 'This is real news' at one point.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/golf/8383782.stm

Aerial footage shows the tree it is believed was struck in the accident

Ha yeah, it was amazing hopping through the news channels for the 9 o'clock bulletins where they all knew it was a non-story but they all had to run with it as the lead item because no-one had worked up the guts to be first to drop it. Poor old Brian Harvey must've been half way into the studios by then. I'm looking forward to seeing which broadsheets commissioned hasty op-eds that they couldn't pull in time.

"A tree that may or may not have been involved in this apparent accident"

RIP Roger Federer

his driving has always been wayward

he can take a penalty free drop after striking that hydrant tho

doctors say he has a good lie in hospital

Jokes cracked by me and my mates in pub when this came on as breaking news on Sky Sports News:

Obviously needs a good driver

Wonder what his handicap will be after this

Time to dust off one of his 35 never-driven LeSabres.

This reminds me of the time I got shitfaced and drove into a fire hydrant at 2:23am

this will fuck up his stats re: driving accuracy

― Bob Saget's "Night Moves": C or D (WmC), Friday, November 27, 2009 3:47 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^i used this tonight w/ some friends who are really zing-y and it got big lols

yeah but kudos for this too:

Wonder what his handicap will be after this

this bit is bullshit right?

Tiger Woods' wife used a golf club to smash a window of his Cadillac Escalade and get her injured husband out of the SUV after he crashed

i thought you'd be chipping in with a few puns

Denise Higgins used a snooker cue to fend off youths attacking her husband John Higgins

Coleen Rooney saved Wayne from drowning in lake with football.

I'm sure there's no chance his wife was chasing him with a golf club following an argument and that he's wasn't reversing too quickly because of his fear of being clubbed.

Wife saves Rolf-Dieter Heuer from burglars by colliding intruders with large hadrons at CERN HQ.

plot to die hard 5 right there

Might be a silver lining if that chase for majors gets taken off him tbh

yeah I meant competitively

When the first crash happened, way upthread I was one of a couple of people who still thought he had a decent chance to catch Nicklaus (about 25%, I said). I was fixated on the scandal, and seriously underestimated his physical problems. In the end, it was something of a miracle he managed to win one more.

Yeah agreed

compound leg fracture and shattered ankle

Seemingly no impairment, that's good news. He was speeding, though (on what's supposed to be a bad stretch of road), and there are obviously unanswered questions.

i dunno, sometimes it's all just random. people are kind of obsessed with blaming someone or something for a car crash. maybe he was tired and dozed off. slick patch of road, who knows?

Someone else, I'd agree, but it's hard to separate this from his past troubles, or from that story I linked to above. If it's just driving, at the very least he doesn't seem to be a very good driver.

.....

i dunno, sometimes it's all just random. people are kind of obsessed with blaming someone or something for a car crash. maybe he was tired and dozed off. slick patch of road, who knows?

Meanwhile Nick Faldo is turning into *Mark Kermode.

https://www.cbsnews.com/video/former-pga-tour-player-sir-nick-faldo-reacts-to-tiger-woods-car-accident/#x

(*apologies to non-UK ILXors who will have no idea who am I talking about)

check out those sidies!

I’m sure someone can explain why it’s good or proper that they bring it up

it may not be good or proper, but the public mind quickly connects celebrities and drug/alcohol addiction, especially when a single car accident is involved. reporters knew this question would arise whether they mentioned it or not, and they tried to both answer it and simultaneously dismiss it, which seems like a net positive compared to the alternative of letting the question linger.

it's not just any celebrity, it's a guy who's underwent a ton of surgeries and memorably got a DUI while zonked out on Ambien

Just heard a doctor graphically describe Woods' injuries (bones pierced the skin) and conclude they were "very serious, possibly devastating."

(Not a doctor from the operating room, one who was going by what's known.)

I’m just always horrified when these things happen but I can understand the tmz celeb gossip thing

ugh that sounded really “patting myself on the back” + patronizing, sorry

Good, no charges.

https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/24/us/tiger-woods-car-accident-wednesday-intl-spt/index.html

When I suggested "unanswered questions" above, I really didn't mean anything sinister. Falling asleep at the wheel is exactly the kind of thing I was thinking about--that in and of itself raises questions about why he'd be driving and how good a driver he is.

accidents happen to "good drivers" every day, thousands of them

nick faldo said he was going to photo shoot

As the very least, as I understand it, he was speeding--which to me rules out good driving.

I'm one of the top 10 best drivers in the country and I speed all the time

Two-car accidents happen to good drivers all the time, for sure--you're on the wrong end of someone else's bad driving. A one-car accident where the weather's not a factor, it seems unlikely to me that he's blameless. He could be swerving to avoid an animal--if that were the case, then I don't blame him. But I put speeding, texting, and/or getting behind the wheel when you're too tired to drive all under bad driving.

As a former school bus driver, I have fairly exacting standards for "good driving", which could be briefly summed up as 'There is no good driving which is not also safe driving'.

Falling asleep at the wheel is exactly the kind of thing I was thinking about

The car Woods was driving, a Genesis GV80 loaned to him by the manufacturer that sponsored the tournament last weekend, has an interior camera that alerts the driver if they're falling asleep:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/cars/2021/02/24/genesis-gv-80-tiger-woods-car-accident-suv-safety/4573081001/

well you all make good points glad this piece of shit got his legs broke

I'm sure you know this, but that's not even remotely what I mean. I've always been a huge fan, as most of this thread makes clear. Just suggesting that there's likely more to this than a simple bad-luck accident. We may never know. There are no charges and seemingly no desire to investigate, and since no other driver is involved, and his life has been irrevocably damaged, I think that's a good call.

Sorry to press the point--I have a particular animus towards speeders in everyday life.

First news I've heard in months.

https://www.cnn.com/2021/11/29/golf/tiger-woods-full-time-golf-over-spt/index.html

I thought he was basically picking and choosing when the accident happened.

Would be shocked to ever see him playing again tbh. Dude now has more major surgeries than major titles

alright, consider me shocked.

life crash?

https://www.espn.com/golf/story/_/id/35812811/tiger-woods-girlfriend-asks-judge-resolve-nda-dispute

https://www.espn.com/golf/story/_/id/48323862/tiger-woods-arrested-crash-scene-suspicion-dui-sheriff-says

*insert joke about driving in here*

he's never gonna break the record for majors but all-time DUI crashes is still in play

As I think I said earlier in the thread this guy has to be on industrial strength painkillers every day of his life so let's not assume he's merely sozzled.

why is a billionaire still driving is the main question

He likes driving! I'm sure he has problems persuading anyone else to get in a car with him though.

The Tiger
he destroyed his car
yes
YES
the Tiger is drunk

okay lol

when he attempted to pass a truck hauling a pressure cleaner, which had slowed down to turn into a driveway

dude if you're buzzed/lit you gotta fake it that you're the most sober man who ever lived, don't be passing shit

The Tiger
he destroyed his car
yes
YES
the Tiger is drunk

― frogbs

Powerful Blake poem imo

i know sexy

Just saw that Tiger is in a relationship with DJT Jr's ex-wife Vanessa. Guess that's why he called "Dad."

lol, i was about to say this idiot is now going to get the Presidential Medal of Freedom but it turns out Trump already gave it to him!

Your life has really crashed if you are calling the President after you've been in one.

Vanessa Trump's relationship history is wild and worthy of its own investigation. Just always involved with Guys Who Have a Lot Going On

Thanks I needed that wiki page

it certainly goes unexpected places