British MPs to go clubbing in order to find out more about cocaine abuse

Well this should be fun

Bet they all claim it on expenses.

every time iannucci ups the game, they respond

really can't wait to see the ensuing report

why the fuck don't they already move in the appropriate circles to learn this information, anyway??

Because they are 50+ years old?

Where should we suggest they go? They want the internet's advice!

Opening gambit = Plastic People.

Maybe Fabric on a Villalobos Sunday morning?

oh come on, obviously that warehouse on commercial rd where prince harry goes

refuse to believe that rich mps don't already have a few coke-snorting friends. where were they in the 80s??

It's really really easy to score at Plastic People. We managed to do it while we were basically sleeping.

they want to research coke, not ket

xps

dalston superstore! the russian bar! awgod corsica studios

refuse to believe that rich mps don't already have a few coke-snorting friends. where were they in the 80s??

Being Labour/Tory/LibDem party wonks rather than the cool people who get invited to parties?

everyone in the 80s was doing coke, don't you know

Committee member Bob Russell, the Liberal Democrat MP, lists 60s music and "tunes you can sing along to" on his Facebook page

'You know, that 'Common People' song, what was that band's name again...'

Keith Vaz, the Labour MP and committee chairman, will lead a group of 13 other MPs but insisted it was "not our Christmas party".

No, that'll be a three day weekend bender in Amsterdam next week.

"I imagine some of these MPs haven't been to a club since the 70s – and it's a long way from the Bee Gees and Abba these days."

Less coke nowadays.

Shit, I shouldn't click on Telegraph links - before you know it you're staring at James Delingpole's ugly mug and reading the crap that comes out of it.

presumably any club they go to they will be the oldest people in there by some distance and may not even be allowed in on that basis. pics or it will not have happened basically.

my god, I am imagining a group of Representatives doing something similar and lolololololol

Michele Bachman on cocaine is an amazing mental image

yeah who the fuck is going to sell drugs to old dude in a suit that was in a paper announcing he is going to uncover teeeh evils.

i really hope a photographer goes with them.

or they dress like ali g/skinny jeans to 'blend in'

maybe they will all get really into it and make enlightened and worthwhile drug laws as a result

lol

we could settle wars with this

i really am just imagining this turning into *that* soulwax video

Michele Bachman on cocaine is an amazing mental image the same as usual

oh my god

oh my god britain i take back everything bad i ever said about you

british mps to abuse a child to find out more about child abuse

british mps to rob a pensioner to find out more about theft

i cant

this is a real thing?

these are real live politicians from your land, who are looking to go to a club, to learn about cocaine?

british mps to eat a bowl of chocolate ice cream to find out more about chocolate ice cream

they are going to get so laid btw

british mps to try trying something out, to find out more about trying trying something out

What exactly will happen when this does happen -- specifically, from 1:40 to 2:30 in the clip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7bwnT1QIQo

lol I was hoping when I clicked on that that it was going to be one of the "Requiem For A Dream" dream sequences

Ah, so 'Filthy/Gorgeous' was a rip-off then! xp

I mean, it's not just me, right? This all seems like an elaborate parody/re-enactment of an episode of "The Mighty Boosh"?

british mps to check out the ass on that one

sometimes it just takes three days straight of cocaine and hookers to know that you've got a friend out there

have hated keith vaz ever since he complained abt video nasties belatedly being passed uncut by the bbfc - the man is a headline chasing tool and a moron

Badger visits Mole and Rat to do something about Toad's self destructive obsession. The three of them go to visit Toad, and Badger tries talking him out of his behavior, to no avail.

I hope they all have a lovely time.

...and that they learn a lot.

Hoped they get duped into buying a big bag of laxatives.

bwahahahahaha

I hope someone makes a boshing hardcore track with a looped vocal that rhymes "Keith Vaz" with "dance like a spaz", just in case.

Mr Vaz said he wanted the groups of MPs to see 'everything' – warts and all.
He added: "We are obviously looking to see 'everything’ in action."

"Hello, my name is Keith Vaz MP, and I'd like to look over your shoulder while you do what I believe is referred to as a 'line' of cocaine off of a toilet cistern, and then sneeze bloody snot all over the seat."

i love the police source who used the term "right rave-ups".

This is just an obvious ploy to make Coke the least cool drug in history, right?

It's now called Keith Chaz, keep up.

Next week: Harriet Harman, Lembit Opik and Michael Gove to spend a week packing shivs.

Wonder why they haven't rounded up a posse to investigate binge drinking?

i love the police source who used the term "right rave-ups".

"police source" located on the next desk to telegraph hack

What's great is that, like anyone who looks at all conspicuous or out of place in a club, everyone will assume these MPs are dealing.

Either that or sexual predators.

Bring back Christopher MAyhew!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq2kcIM4auk

xpost

oh what an erroneous assumption that wd be

In 1973 he offered £5,000 to anyone who could produce evidence that Nasser had stated that he sought to "drive the Jews into the sea". Mayhew repeated the offer later in the House of Commons (Hansard, 18 October 1973) and broadened it to include genocidal statements by other Arab leaders (Manchester Guardian, 9 September 1974), whilst reserving for himself the right to be the arbiter of the authenticity of any purported statements as well as their meaning. Mayhew received several letters from claimants, each one producing one quotation or another from an Arab leader, which Mayhew deemed to be fabricated. One claimant, Warren Bergson, took Mayhew to court. The case came before the High Court in February 1976. Bergson was unable to offer evidence of Nasser's alleged statement. Bergson acknowledged that, after thorough research, he had been unable to find any statement by a responsible Arab leader which could be described as genocidal.

Actually, we really should ...

Anyone catching an MP creeping into a toilet cubicle with a young man is just going to assume he's paid to have his face crapped on, right?

Might be fun to DJ a MP's club night.

feel bad for the mps, really (except for fucking keith twaz), and they could just ask their younger civil servants/special advisors/think tankers.

Keith Vaz really is clown.

Next week: Harriet Harman, Lembit Opik and Michael Gove to spend a week packing shivs.

Any excuse to post this:

http://i.thisislondon.co.uk/i/pix/2009/07/lembit-new-girl-415x275.jpg

I'm guessing it's gotta be 14, at least.

I used to live in Vaz's constituency and he was a really good constituency MP, very helpful, lots of surgeries, very approachable and, more importantly effective. Also had nice cushions scattered around his office. At the same time would go completely gaga when a TV camera hove into view, see Satanic Verses, Shipla Shetty, video games, etc, etc. Also before him we had Peter Bruinvels who makes Vaz look like a cuddly teddy bear.

(I must also declare an interest - he offered me a job once - anyone prepared to take a huge risk like that can't be all bad, but might be crazy)

Drug mule?

tower block of commons anyone?

http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h182/ASHE87/peepshw24as2ul.gif

RT: @Oona_King: Popped into Ministry of Sound this afternoon for a quick meeting. If you want a raver vote Labour!