this kid rated all 350 kids in his high school senior class then he lost his parking space

http://www.eagletribune.com/punewsnh/local_story_338235149.html

http://docs.google.com/View?id=dtp7ktb_8c75fj9m3

u can have 8.4, max

oh my god. that kid. O_O

Justin Sweeney: Special Education/ Gangstah/ Druggie. 0. UnKool. I am most certain that he is in an actual gang. It may be made up with some of his friends, but he is really frightening. I have no doubt that he is really in a gang and will mess some person up if they mess with another person of his gang. He most certainly smokes and does illegal things, but because he is special education he is naïve about that kind of stuff and has probably bought cream of wheat instead of meth.

Brittany Hakimi: Fake Girl. 4. Cool. She is very orange and she looks like she has done a lot to her face and will do a lot to herself in her future. She is not pleased with the way she looks and so she has to make herself up so much and change her appearances so much that she does all of these things to make herself feel better. She seems like a fake bwitch as well, always looking at people like they smell bad.

this kid rated all 350 kids in his message board community then he lost his posting privileges

he rated everyone

lol

That kid is a serial killer in training.

meta to the max

x-post yes.

I also heard that he does push ups in the bathroom, which is weird.

well that is sort of weird tbh

Seriously, after a cursory glance through his 'manifesto', dude reminds me of that gym shooter from a few months back. It's creepy as hell.

I find it weird that he'd even have the capability of rating every single member of his high school class. there are plenty of people in my senior class who I never met, and it was about the same size.

holy shit I went to this high school (class of '05) — ILX ARE YOU STALKING ME?

this kid is a tool.

unregistered. Special Education. 4. Cool.

I guess you could call her a blunderbuss. What a wonderful vocabulary word!

looool

i would've appreciated facebook page links

I would like to meet up with him again after college and show my family that I have a black friend.

III. Categories of People (in no particular order)
1. Josh Tubbs/Mandy Knight: equivalent to infinity on the 0 – 10 scale
2. Tool
3. Emo/Goth/Punk/Scene (there is no difference, really)
4. Wannabes
5. Nerds
6. Annoying kids
7. Dark, promiscuous five year olds
8. Band-geek
9. Timberlane Players
10. Fake girls
11. Gays/Lesbians
12. Sporty
13. Jocks
14. Quiet kids
15. Special education
16. Advanced Placement/ Accelerated
17. Gray kids
18. Performing Arts Center (PAC) Kids
19. Artistic
20. “Different”
21. Teachers
22. Druggie
23. Extremely Over-Involved and Over-Worked
24. Just living life
25. Gangstah
26. Trying their hardest to be stupid
27. Nice
28. Bwitches

lol harbl

I find it weird that he'd even have the capability of rating every single member of his high school class. there are plenty of people in my senior class who I never met, and it was about the same size.

My graduating class was 87 and I probably didn't know half of them. This whole thing indicates a really unhealthy level of fixation and delusion. He's, like, half a step away from saying, "THEY'RE ALL MEAT! NOTHING BUT PUTRID MEAT!"

"dark promiscuous five-year-olds" is a pretty awesome classification

24. Just living life

hell yes 2 these kids

I also sticker binders for my Advanced Placement classes with Mandy and really like to gossip with her. That is basically all we do when we hang out, gossip and sticker. That seems to be the end of my stuff, so I will have to continue on with the categories of people.

can't wait to see a youtube of this kid getting beat up

I guess it goes that when you don’t know much you become a gym teacher, which seems to be the case with many of the gym teachers that exist today. However, while he may be cool, I still think he will be able to work his way up to kool shortly after this novel is finished. I just have to keep saying funny things and keep saying bad things about Amber.

This whole thing indicates a really unhealthy level of fixation

this. i read (skimmed) about half of it, but a big huge chunk of his "novel" concern how these people treat him or make him feel about himself - or weirder still, how he imagines they would treat him or make him feel. which is just sad.

this guy is a high school senior? the writing level seems 8th grade at best. if I had done something like this in high school I think it would have been incredibly witty and clever and etc, versus

"They also wear sweatpants most of the time and short shirts that show off their mid drift."

Actually, I did do something like this, I started a "slam book" in middle school which was just a notebook that was passed around and people would write random shit and nasty things in it. When it was found a bunch of us had to go to Saturday school as punishment. Thankfully this was 1999, before we would have even known how to harness the powers of the internet, so my name isn't forever attached to something so lame (although hopefully I would have had the sense to not use my real name and maybe lock down the website)

Best category of people (in Timberlane High School)

I just have to keep saying funny things and keep saying bad things about Amber.

― ice cr?m, Sunday, December 6, 2009 4:45 PM (49 seconds ago) Bookmark

jesus wheeping christ

"he will become a better person (i.e., more favorably inclined towards me) if i perform the correct sequence of actions in his presence"

Caleigh Ouellette said she only had a class with Tubbs for a few days before dropping it for another class. Still, Tubbs described her as frequently acting "stupid" in his book.

"Most of the things he said were opinions and were really stupid," Hatfield said.

taste of his own medicine? eh, high school kids

Mandy and I consider ourselves as one unit, so it was impossible for one of us to take the lead. We would discuss which step we would take next and make decisions as a pair.

guys this kid sounds seriously mentally ill

i was a 14. 3 maybe 5.

"was"

Hailing from the bustling town of Sandown, New Hampshire, seventeen-year-old Josh Tubbs is a senior here at Timberlane. Not only is he Co-President of the seniors and an officer in a bunch of kool stuff, but he also owns all fifty state quarters and over 1000 Pokémon cards, including a holographic Charizard. Josh answers, “no comment” on whether he is power hungry.

. In March of freshman year, my friend, Mandy decided to raise money for a cure for Autism, and to raise awareness of the condition. We knew we couldn’t do much, but we knew it was the right thing to do, seeing that Mandy’s brother has Autism. Knowing our task, we began collecting money in April, which is Autism Awareness month. We rose about two hundred dollars—a good start for our first year, but we knew that sophomore year would have to show more results.

Not sayin', just sayin'.

need to get mandy knights reaction to all this

169. Mandy Knight: Mandy Knight/Josh Tubbs. Infinity. KOOL. I have known Mandy since I was born and since we were in diapers. She has always been my neighbor and she has basically been that one constant in my life—family excluded—that has never ever changed. She is that thing that keeps me anchored and keeps me constant in life. We are basically one unit and we gossip about everything. We are probably the best friends in the entire world and will be inseparable for life. I am unable to think of what life will be like without her because I do not think that she will ever be out of my life. She is the exact same kind of immature that I am. We are both that kind of immature that it is not obnoxious like the kool kids, but more like the kids that are just innocent and sheltered and just want to bounce on the trampoline and swing on the swings. At first, the two of us and Sarah Calder were all best friends, then she and Sarah were together without me, now Mandy and I are together without Sarah and that is the way that it is going to be. She is like my other half, without being a girlfriend. We are just one unit and if one person dates one of us, it is basically like they are dating both of us. She is basically the coolest person out there because she embodies the idea of being kool and living life the right way, which is the way that I want people to live their lives. The only thing is that she can do a lot of stuff, except she does not put herself to that bar. She is my counterpart in life and the most fun person in the world. She is chill about things, but knows when things are icky and has lots of juicy gossip things to talk about.

i have not read catcher in the rye but this is kinda how i imagine that kid from it to be

guys this reads like a hypothetical stay positive 77er's nightmare teenage years???

At first, the two of us and Sarah Calder were all best friends, then she and Sarah were together without me, now Mandy and I are together without Sarah and that is the way that it is going to be.

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2007/12/30/helicopter_lead_wideweb__470x310,0.jpg

i really want to dig through SEN10RS and find lols to post, but it has to be the most boring thing every to ignite a controversy

"every" is not right

"She is the kind of girl that has to have a boy friend or else she will explode strange colors in strange smoke formations that would defy science."

"No explanation needed, I am just the best thing since canned bread."

Huh.

At first, the two of us and Sarah Calder were all best friends, then she and Sarah were together without me, now Mandy and I are together without Sarah and that is the way that it is going to be.

― SBanned of Brothers (Noodle Vague), Sunday, December 6, 2009 4:59 PM (57 seconds ago) Bookmark

She is like my other half, without being a girlfriend. We are just one unit and if one person dates one of us, it is basically like they are dating both of us.

i just noticed canned bread in the supermarket for the first time the other day. don't see the appeal, except i imagine that it is remarkably moist.

48. Sarah Calder: Quiet. 8. Kool. Mandy, her, and I used to be super kool friends, then Mandy and she went out on their own path, then Mandy and I are on our own path and she seems to have no friends and she is really quiet and sticks her chin in her coat or shirt. It was nice to have the playgroup seniors, because we were the oldest kids in playgroup in our neighborhood, but then that ended when I was like 6 and we had a nice reunion when I was like 12 at my house. She does sports, but it is still annoying that she thinks she is better than me and Mandy because she does not talk and just shoves her chin into her coat. It would be nice to have her back and the playgroup seniors back. But now we are actual seniors, which is kool. She is very standoffish to people and just about everything that breathes and it is really weird to see her and not talk to her.

http://stevedutton-online.com/test/bewitched.jpg

couldve been sarah calder, walking around w/her chin in her shirt

trying to come up with a Josh Tubbs & Captain Easy joke here but nothing's flowing/it's too obscure anyway.

I think I could have done 50k about my year at school at that age. There were about 160 people. Although 15k alone would be about our ridiculous ott ever changing nickname system that involves about half the year. I could at least tell you something or have an opinion on all of them, even if some would be kind of vague or just 1 sentence. Rumours and anacdotes travelled around about almost everyone in my year and classes were always mixed up so I think I had classes with at least 4/5 of them at one point. What Tubbs did is double that tho.

i was sullen and misanthropic as a senior in high school, i think there were about 400 - 500 other students in my senior class - and there was no way i could imagine having the desire to differentiate that many people from one another.

Though when I was in 6th grade, me and a friend were bored watching "The Shaggy Dog" as some "reward" for good behavior or something, and we invented a fake soap opera with characters based on the kids in our class. But it was one of those 80s nighttime soap operas where people get in plane crashes and then magically live, or go to exotic islands and get plastic surgery and it's an eventual cliffhanger when everyone finds out who they are.

ysi?

i don't think we really wrote anything down except for the character names, though we might have drawn some pictures of them.

270. Nikki Rothwell: Nice/ Fake Girl/ Sporty. 8. Cool. She was one of the first people to come across the fact that I am writing a novel. She worked her way through her inhibitions to come out and ask me why I was writing down people. I had to tell her what I was doing, but left it at that because I could get killed if people found out about this because a lot of it may not be the truest of thinks.

if someone in my class had written something like this my entry would have included a popular but entirely false rumor that i had a threesome with two girls on school premises. if it had been published i would have been embarrassed x10000 more.

daaamn u da man elmo *fist bump*

i actually received an joke "award" in my singing group for the rumored acheivement. i did not get the joke until much later. :\

i think you guys aren't considering the possibility of this whole thing being the means to an end which was to write a nanowrimo thing?

i mean, this whole thing becomes actually not that irrational when you view it from that perspective?????

i mean, apart from the fact that participating in nanowrimo is obv something pretty irrational to start with since it's national waste of human resources month.

Okay, sarahel, but your whole steez is way more imaginitive than what this dude did. There's something weirdly affectless about his whole thing. Like I can imagine him writing a pretty much identical rundown of his Pokemon cards:

261. Psyduck: Tool 2. Cool. He is so fake, and I don't understand how overweight, neurotic ducks like him are so popular. He can block a Charizard attack, though, so I guess he's not too much of a tool.

Derek - I agree - his thing is pretty dull as a whole, though there are some gems, that are only gem-like in a kinda abject way.

I can't look it up now but there was one entry where he gave the girl in question a "higher" ranking and mentioned something about "this is one of the few instances where someone I judged based on their picture got a high ranking".

gem-like in a kinda abject way

posts that effortlessly sum up ilx

I mean, is anyone here judging its quality as a literary effort as opposed to as an artifact - kinda in the best beloved tuppence vein?

Well I think we all agree that if it was some other kid who wrote it to frame the class president and inhabit his character he deserves a nobel prize

peace prize, chemistry what

it just seems like something I could see some clever post-modern writer doing for some hip magazine - but it would be shorter and more focused on jokes and non-sequitirs and more stylized, though perhaps in that same affectless way Deric mentioned. And I can't decide how self-aware/self-conscious this is.

I'm not judging it as a literary effort. It's just weird and obsessional, but lol high school.

My class was roughly 450. A quarter of those came from my elementary school; the rest were classmates of mine starting in 7th grade. At least half of us were the children of people who'd grown up in the town (including me) so everyone was at least acquainted with each other by senior year. It wouldn't be beyond the memory bank of any motivated kid who was there to put a huge slambook together, or that obsessive - your world in HS is pretty small in the midwest, and the narcissism of small differences be fascinatin' before you have a name for this game.

so can we see yr slambook them

xp - mine was similar - though I don't think anyone knew even half of the other students. Where you went to high school, suzy, was everyone native English speakers, though?

was some talk about this yesterday. if it's fake (or largely invented, or not quite what it claims to be, or WE), then it's much more interesting than if it's just some weirdo's notes on u. hard to tell at this point & from this distance.

but still kinda super dull and rambly, tho with good bits

maybe if i'd done this i'd be able to remember the high school classmates that add me on fbook

see, i don't know how much more interesting it is, really. It seems like there's this recent (or not that recent, really, I'm not sure) trend of writing things, making art, etc. that are meant to be viewed as artifacts or curiosities of ambiguous provenance, that the wtf-ness or incomprehensibility of their origins or the author's motives are the largest part of their appeal, as opposed to the work itself.

Yeah, y'know, I'm judgin' from the perspective of someone who went to 13 different schools from K-12, and who only spent two years at the high school he graduated from. Maybe it isn't so weird to have at least some passing knowledge of people who you've grown up with and seen around every day for most of your life. The rest is def. weird, though.

from the perspective of someone who lived in the same town all 17 years of growing up where there was only one junior high and only one high school, the fact that this dude finds something to say about 350 kids is kinda remarkable.

this screed is probably better than the other option he was likely considering (assault rifle in a packed auditorium)

Oooh, many xposts. I'm sure I could've done at least 300 but I was never stupid enough to put anything derogatory about my classmates in writing, joshea. However, I was paid pretty good cashmoney to 'deconstruct' various campus types on caricature posters to advertise my college's coffee house. Luckily, most of the people depicted were attention-whorish enough to weather being chosen, or were friends of mine who were in on the satire. The one spoilt rich kid who did complain lightened up after being told to weigh his publicity rather than read it.

sarahel - yes, I'd say 95 per cent of us were native English speakers. Most of the five per cent were refugees: Vietnamese, Russian Jews, Iranians, Turks arrived one by one so they integrated; my town has a reputation for being a good place for that. We didn't have a lot of Spanish speakers back then, and enrollment used to be closed to the town's residents. Also my l'il sis was in a completely different academic/social set to me so if I needed a character reference for an obscure (to me) person, she most likely knew that person.

"or go to exotic islands and get plastic surgery and it's an eventual cliffhanger when everyone finds out who they are."

If this is how Lost ends I'm swearing off serial TV forever.

Is this thread over 50,000 characters yet?

i think one of the two boys that played D&D and drew highly-detailed Tolkien-inspired battle scenes was the evil mad scientist/scheming plastic surgeon

She worked her way through her inhibitions to come out and ask me why I was writing down people

Lol whut? He makes it sound like it was some massive inner struggle for her, when it was prob more like "hey assface, why are you spying on everyone and taking notes?!"

I'm impressed.

Okay, sarahel, but your whole steez is way more imaginitive than what this dude did. There's something weirdly affectless about his whole thing. Like I can imagine him writing a pretty much identical rundown of his Pokemon cards:

261. Psyduck: Tool 2. Cool. He is so fake, and I don't understand how overweight, neurotic ducks like him are so popular. He can block a Charizard attack, though, so I guess he's not too much of a tool.

― Pooping And Crying (Deric W. Haircare), Monday, December 7, 2009 12:49 PM (6 hours ago)

this is sort of...the point?

this screed is probably better than the other option he was likely considering (assault rifle in a packed auditorium)

It's NaNoWriMo, the other option was probably a fantasy novel about a virginal young druid boy who rescues an elvish princess from the clutches of wraiths.

Sounds like a précis of the impending sequel.

way upthread but uh

uh haven't you been reading ilx lately????

― being being kiss-ass fake nice (gbx), Monday, December 7, 2009 7:45 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes, and i dont know how to take that shit either

?

I guess this dude never saw Mean Girls.

wow, this is kind of blowing my mind and bumming me out hard.

That post could go on so many threads..

Jason St. Jean: Dark promiscuous five year old. 1. UnKool. He used to be in my 8th grade cooking class. Now he is one of those icky five year old kind of people that has a different girl friend every other week. He is one of those people that will have somebody on their lap at one point, then I take a bite of food, then someone else is on his lap making out with him or doing dirty things. He thinks that he is really kool because he is so different and wants to make people think that he is a really weird person, but he is just trying too hard.

Scott Velleca: Special Education/ Gray. 0. UnKool. He is such a wannabe gangstah and gray person because he has nothing else to do with his life and that was the easiest thing to turn to. He was only able to become gray after following Justin Sweeney into his adventures into the gray forest.

Now he is one of those icky five year old kind of people that has a different girl friend every other week. He is one of those people that will have somebody on their lap at one point, then I take a bite of food, then someone else is on his lap making out with him or doing dirty things.

So "five year old" = "someone who is sexually active"? Wtf?!

My guess is that the Dark, Promiscuous 5-year-olds are probably Gummi Goths, with the "5-year-old" aspect referring to that Hot Topic kinda fashion-sense that mixes black, lacy, traditional goth wear with say, Spongebob Squarepants socks.

It's NaNoWriMo, the other option was probably a fantasy novel about a virginal young druid boy who rescues an elvish princess from the clutches of wraiths.

― they aren't werewolves until they hit werewolf puberty (reddening), Tuesday, December 8, 2009 12:26 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(seriously, can someone please tell what the fuck is up with this shit)