Nose Pegs at the Ready: UK General Election Thread 2010

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7z6dxQVhE8o

Sorry to be dull on what will hopefully blossom into a rollicking thread of snark and existential despair, but I moved last year and I forgot to fill in the voter registration form until two months after I was meant to and after the new lists were apparently compiled. Have I done myself out of a vote? It'd be a shame with such lovely options to choose from.

i dunno you might have a booming constituent

oh wait you live in oxford n/m

srsly tho wai are all the papers and radios saying "the campaign starts here" on 4 january? because politicians are zinging each other? bfd. there's still another 2-3 months before we can break out the

http://i38.tinypic.com/fmul9t.jpg

gifs.

I am almost certain I won't be voting Brown in the '10.

Noodle Hague more like.

surely as a good Hull lad you'll be giving Prescott a boost

let me just get this out of the way

good luck uk

Prezza is busy on Twitter at the moment, focussing pre-election strategy mainly on ripping the piss out of Piers Morgan

Okay so another 6 months of beating myself up over this before an hilarious hung parliament and a further year of Sports Politics at its brutal best?

also lol max

felt a bit insincere tbh

when i said it to them, it was in hope; reckon there's more than an element of gallows humour in the backatcha

question to the house: what could the most interesting upshot of this election be?

Brutal rioting for months on end that brings our current Parliamentary system to a deserved close.

Nah, just kidding.

Some cunt from Eton having to pretend to not be Patrician scum for 3 months.

down for that

XPOST

if david cameron revealed himself to be the master off of dr who, i guess.

if kevin shields did labour's election ditty.

if Lib Dems somehow wound up holding the balance of power. not sure if this counts as comedy or tragedy or both one after the other.

NO. WAIT. I KNOW.

If Jeremy Vine dresses up as Fred West for an hilarious election night swingometer presentation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7JX8D1Kb88

I will never get tired of re-posting that.

So far amused by Cameron and caterwauling baby, Cameron's reappearing yo-yo dieter's dewlap. Little else about Cameron amuses me.

srsly tho wai are all the papers and radios saying "the campaign starts here" on 4 january?

Cameron billboards have started springing up around the place, so I guess at least his campaign has started.

ah. i should leave the house once in a while i guess.

also newspaper and radio journalists are the biggest Sports Politics fans going.

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e217/hebiyaro/VoteSaxon.jpg

Cameron billboards rather than Conservative Party billboards? Would make sense, but...

Bit I'm least looking forward to = endless stream of party hacks from both sides trying to make out that their plans for cutting public spending aren't essentially the same, and everyone ignoring the elephant in the room ie why that deficit became necessary in the first place.

they do feel more like Cameron ads, just his big mug and a quote

In the same way that 97 played up Blair and down Labour. Took them most of 10 years to work out how to play this game but they're up to speed now.

Nah 97 played up New Labour and played down Labour, but there were still other prominent faces in there with Blair. Cameron dominates almost everything media-wise - only Ken Clarke and George Osborne have any real profile.

what about eric pickles the singstar fiend

Something wrong with his face, here:

http://timesonline.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451586c69e2012876a4c2d0970c-400wi

As opposed to the usual 'something wrong'.

no tie.

Double chin inexpertly airbrushed out.

New Labour was obviously being pushed but srsly who represented it other than Blair? A few grinning back-up singers doesn't really say "hi we are new crew in town" and as far as I recall the lol personalities didn't emerge until after the election was won. I guess they wheeled on the odd comedy proletarian like Prescott but that was purely to keep us simple-minded working class voters onside.

I feel like the PPBs had been getting more Presidential since at least mid-period Kinnock so I can't entirely blame Blair but Cameron 2010 is really just the latest counterstrike in the call and response game of Personality Politics that Nu/Labour have been happy to play since the 90s.

In the same way that the 97 campaign pinned the focus onto issues of competency/honesty rather than policy, and those issues are now fucking up a zero-policy Labour party (NB policy wonks/on-message ILXors, for "zero-policy" read "barely any discernible twatting difference between Labour and Tory policy", I know they have policies, but they're scumshit, okays?), the 97 campaign took Personality to its heart and now these daft twats are saddled with G. Brown vs. a shiny Blair 2.0

When your SIL is deputy ed of Vogue you'd think good airbrushing would be a phonecall away.

*Shirt doesn't fit
*Dodgy airbrushing
*Disturbing lack of Adam's apple DOES HE HAVE MOOBS y/n
*Bizarre, dirt/5pm shadow across top lip
*"Subliminal" pilfering of NHS colourways/identity

*Not quite looking out at the viewer, is he/shifty eyes

A good slogan would have been "This Is It"...

*No ears

That is odd, it's as if he's midway through being morphed with James McAvoy or someone a touch better-looking. Maybe it's the other way round and they've hired a model with just enough features to suggest Cameron?

Kinda looks like me on the back of a spoon.

oh man if nick clegg really does become kingmaker
http://991.com/newgallery/Kingmaker-Ten-Years-Asleep-319210.jpg
then i really will hope for *puts on shades* ten years asleep

it wouldn't happen in another world

cameron does just look like a fascist

wonder why that is

http://cached.imagescaler.hbpl.co.uk/resize/scaleToFit/427/285/?sURL=http://offlinehbpl.hbpl.co.uk/News/OKM/08528A1A-97E2-E41B-A5F7A0D32D7165F6.JPG

http://www.marketingmagazine.co.uk/news/976128/Labour-bloggers-release-spoof-version-touched-up-Tory-ad/

Needs Hitler moustache.

or demonic eyes yeah?

pretty sure they are legally obliged to wear the ribbon

There were three old ladies in red, yellow and blue rosettes having what looked like a pretty enjoyable gossip with one another at my polling station this morning. Didn't get much of a sense of deep ideological rivalry there.

ok, the ribbon thing is not a requirement, but they are not evil people:

http://www.howtowinelections.co.uk/numbertellers.shtml
http://www.tameside.gov.uk/elections/tellers

tracer - yeah but bear in mind there's the largest influx of new mps maybe ever (subs check this), and they may well see their position in parliament as dependent on cameronism/have been handpicked by his cronies, so he may not find that they're all that difficult to square. tory supporters in the electorate will probably feel differently but as labour voters found, you're invisible unless you're in a marginal constituency.

xp to self, i think the point is to get an idea of turnout more than anything, and good luck finding truly independent people to take the day off for an election

http://ask.metafilter.com/152726/Tell-us-what-UK-polling-workers-do

Telling is sitting outside a polling station, asking people for their polling number when they come out having voted. It's not an exit poll, so you don't ask how they voted, you just want their polling number, or name and address to know that they have voted.

The aim of doing this is to allow that voter to be crossed off the list of potential voters by your party so that they aren't pestered by people later in the day asking them to go to vote, hence focusing resources on those still to vote. It also gives an indication, when coupled with canvassing information on individual voter intention as to how the election is going and where resources need to be moved across a constituency.

There's usually a teller for each of the main parties, and it's common to wear a coloured rosette (although you can't have one saying vote for X, or indeed lobby people at all as to how to vote). When I've done it its always been fairly relaxed, with each parties tellers giving each other numbers they've missed etc, although that's not universally the case... It's much more fun on a nice day than when its raining...

they are tellers. they share their data with the other parties. you can talk to them

Yes, one solitary young guy with Labour rosette outside my polling station, 'spose the other parties think not much point bothering in ILX Corbynland

i'm sure they aren't but fuck a tory

ok, the ribbon thing is not a requirement, but they are not evil people:

I've done this in the past. Reason we did it was to find out which of our potential voters had bothered to vote. Saved us knocking on doors later unnecessarily.

Used to get loads of mild abuse - and much huffing and puffing about secret ballots - but we never asked anyone how they voted.

I've always wanted to be asked how I voted!

How did you vote?

I'm from Corbynland, 'nuff said?

Looking forward to watching this 5 hours behind and going to bed at a reasonable hour.

This was last time, probably will be david dimbleby with a cardboard box with a cutout window on it this time to show the new austerity BBC.

http://www.inplas.co.uk/sitegraphics/tv/bbcelection1.jpg

ha, you haven't seen the set, then? It's ginormous; biggest video screen in the UK. All of studio 1, if that means anything to you.

Beeb may as well go out with a bang, the Tories are out to decimate them as soon they can

studio 1 definitely rings a bell.

Could be last big Hurrah for TVC before the BBC flog it.

There were three old ladies in red, yellow and blue rosettes having what looked like a pretty enjoyable gossip with one another at my polling station this morning. Didn't get much of a sense of deep ideological rivalry there.

― Matt DC, Thursday, 6 May 2010 15:35 (50 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah, after all the fighting, class war, etc, it always amazed me that the most jolly, civilised chat between paries happened right there.

If people have't seen this yet, have a quick look at the LIGHTWEIGHT: http://www.newstatesman.com/uk-politics/2008/12/cameron-obama-europe-president

Apparently the BNP is fighting as much internally as externally. BNP webmaster throwing his toys out of the pram and shutting down all official BNP new media tools:

The BNP chaos continues, with its website down for the second time in two days.

Yesterday, the BNP webmaster, Simon Bennett, took it down and posted a message accusing Griffin and James Dowson, the BNP election fundraiser, of being "pathetic, desperate and incompetent".

Today, he is denying responsibility, saying the matter is now "out of his hands". But he still has time for a dig at Griffin, who he says has "put a personal grudge against me before the interests of the party and its members".

Apparently, all the BNP's social media sites and online communications tools are down, too.

BNP: new media tools

(pretty good description of them in general)

Jeremy Vine's 2 story 3d virtual reality green screen could be entertaining, especially if he falls down the virtual reality stairs.

Are we going to start a new thread at 9:55?

You mean a WE'RE DOOMED! DOOMED, AH TELL YE! thread?

i fucking hate how the tories have bought out (with ashcroft's money too) part of the youtube frontpage. gross.

Vine can't top the Cowboy thing from last time, I was hoping he'd dress up as Churchill.

The dog, I mean.

Have to say that I have almost never seen the youtube home page - I don't think that's how most people use it.

bnp webmaster should have asked for buffy dvds

I've got adblock running, I assume that's hiding whatever the Tories put on youtube.

The BNP thing is apparently because Griffin and whoever his second-in-command is there these days (still the shirtless guy?) wanted the webmaster guy to take the fall for that Marmite thing.

Not looking good: http://twitter.com/ICMResearch/status/13504226679

there was a story about an assassination attempt within the b n p recently so 'internal fighting' is putting it mildly.

It's very close, apparently*.

*Source: Twitter phenomenon Tracey Thorn.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4001/4584961904_a740d6eac2.jpg

outside the barking count

She's not sold any records under a Labour government though, surely she'd be excited for the blue revival?

xp

I never thought I'd be watching Derek Hatton on Election Come Dine With Me.

especially one who looks barely over 30....

Had to switch it off, painful stuff

liddle is such a graceless, subnormal dipsomaniac
curry is just clearly vile, like something very nasty in her has soured and curdled anything vaguely nice - like an unpleasant auntie who makes every family event a trial
hatton's re-fighting some old wars at the dinner table, hope he gives the above two the apocalyptic scallop shits
brian paddick looks like he'll being giving his agent an angry phonecall afterwards

also hatton clearly one sorbet off a breakdown

As a result of awaiting election coverage, this is the first time I've watched Outnumbered. That's not too good.

kinda anxious about the exit polls in 10 minutes.

stoked for the madness!

Time for a results thread?

New Thread Time?

Love the superman theme on BBC

kinda anxious about the exit polls in 10 minutes.

Cyanide capsules at the ready you guys.

I'll make a new thread then...

Hurry up before i have to riot like a greek!

Uk General Election 2010: The Results Thread