Defend The Indefensible: Jay Leno

I heard the line about Leno being infinitely funnier in the 80s so often that I checked out his Letterman appearances on YouTube, and damn if they weren't basically him doing a sliiiiiiightly edgier version of his Tonight Show monologues with Letterman in the role of Kevin Eubanks. And his doritos ads make him seem even more punchable than he does on late night.

If you know of ANYTHING ACTUALLY FUNNY leno has ever said or done, please post it here.

your mom

i only wish he'd be outed as a necrophiliac

Jay Leno outed as necrophiliac

loooooool

http://dans.blingbitches.com/balls/leno4.jpg

i fuck with "headlines"

i mean, come on

http://j-walkblog.com/images/jlheadlines.jpg

gold! yeah i fucked with headlines for a couple years after dave left but getting the timing down was a pain in the ass

Jay Leno, GREAT ACT-OR:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbwZs1gTkQc

otm about headlines, entertaining in the same way something like lamebook.com is

then dave stole it and it wasn't even as good! he always seems kind of embarrassed

i mean, but then, to be totally fair, conan's deflating of headlines is even funnier

^^yes

Leno is almost never funny. He is pleasant, unthreatening, comfortable, and friendly, but not funny.

he's actually really easy to defend if you've ever seen him on top gear or heard him doing car related podcasts - just a really likeable, awesome-seeming dude who is probably very cynical about his work (and his show is dreadful, make no mistake). i mean, he owns millions of dollars in cars, i would act like an asshole on tv for that

headlines are funny but it's the ultimate filler. if you're reasonably well-known, you get fans sending them in, pick the best ones, done. the fact that they are the only consistently funny thing on the show says it all.

he's actually really easy to defend if you've ever seen him on top gear or heard him doing car related podcasts - just a really likeable, awesome-seeming dude

He's a regular at the Concours d'Elegance in Pebble Beach every August, and friends of the family who've met him say pretty much the same thing.

otm about headlines, entertaining in the same way something like lamebook.com is

ehhh... kind of.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HC1d8nQ_z9I

I did lol @ "It's not gay, it's European."

I haven't watched the clip, but that sounds like a steal from a Seinfeld episode (the man-purse).

It was the text of the ad, so it wasn't even a written joke. Just a funny classified ad for a watch.

So yeah, Tracer OTM, that stuff literally writes itself.

I don't have actual hard evidence, but i do know that Bill Hicks has him saying "i used to be funny" during a bit which concludes with him shooting himself in the head while interviewing the actor who played Joey in Blossom, his splattered brains forming the NBC peacock on the backdrop behind him.

Cruelest, funniest Leno impression ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbUlvlHF9Ys

He's a regular at the Concours d'Elegance in Pebble Beach every August, and friends of the family who've met him say pretty much the same thing.

I've talked with him twice - once at one of the Concours and then during a tour of his garage complex in Burbank. It's all true... he's a super-affable guy who's still basically the same nerd he's always been. He's surprisingly normal for a comedian. Are there any who aren't depressed, in AA, on drugs, or just creepy off-stage? He's not a comedy genius (nor do I believe he ever was) but he's exceptionally gifted at working a crowd, putting guests at ease, and keeping things moving along. The Tonight Show isn't SNL. Plus the guy has a hell of a work ethic - that cliche about half-the-job is just showing up on time really seems to apply to him.

Carson had the same qualities but had a knack for making anything and anyone seem interesting. I don't think Leno could ever interview someone like Carl Sagan successfully.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoONWAgXddg

Leno on Letterman, '88 (you don't need more than a minute for the flavor):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBRCXbk7EIA&feature=related

and Chris Elliott doing Leno around the same time:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNmCBsQPEmA

Some loltastic outfits there.

This one's more interesting for Leno using an L-Shaped Room reference:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdCD81GmpME&feature=related

He IS a decent standup here.

also "I don't have your kind of money, I'm a working comic."

Lol at Dave's "We have an office full of love slaves"...

then dave stole it and it wasn't even as good!

sorry dave! still wasnt as good (on the new show). in the 80's i mainly got to watch letterman on friday. kinda miss the top ten list being a big deal

defending Leno with headlines is pretty iffy, it's not like he finds the headlines, or does anything with his presentation of them that makes then funny or funnier

haha i was going to say that originally but defending the dude is already enough of a reach why not let him have it?
BECAUSE HE STOLE IT

I should mention at some point that I got to meet Jay Leno on 2 Jan 1998, just a day after Michigan stomped Washington State in the Rose Bowl that yeah. My buddy Blair & I were in the audience, having flown out there to watch the game. We were in the front row and still wearing Michigan gear when we got called up onstage to talk to Jay. He found out that we were both engineering students, and make a few cracks about trains. Seeing the show live reminded me of why I never, ever watched it.

We did get a Polaroid with him, and yes, he was wearing his full-body denim gear. If you children are lucky, I'll be able to find a copy of the photo I scanned in.

I still regret losing my LNwCoB t-shirt I bought that day in one of the many moves since then.

My souvenir from my first trip to NYC at age 13 was a "Late Night with David Letterman" sweatshirt. It is beloved enough that I left it at my grandmother's house, and there it shall remain, along with all my childhood toys, until the day when all the grandkids will sadly have to put these things in our own grown-up closets.

On my first trip to NYC at age 10, my dad spotted Letterman stage manager Biff Henderson walking down Broadway and harangued him into posing for a photo with us.

I am pretty sure Steve Allen did funny headlines in the '50s.

Johnny Carson also 'stole' like crazy from Allen bits, and Letterman admits to doing so. It's just TV.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrbkkQ_oCnQ

taradublinrocks/Tara Dublin. Pretty much everything. #ThingsThatAreFunnierThanLeno

lol

Patton Oswalt likes to swear up and down that Leno was the most talented comic of his generation before he sold out.

i like patton oswalt, and i've heard him say that. but i just can't believe it. leno hasn't been funny in so long i can't imagine a time where he was. you remember him in that horrendous action movie (maybe mid-80s)? we're talking about a long period of lameness.

The only old old Leno footage I've seen is from tv, so I don't know what his club act was like in the early years, but I can't imagine he was ever that terribly funny. The only difference I could think of is that he used to be a single poor guy and now he's a wealthy married guy.

yeah. his delivery is hamfisted and terrible. i can't see how "selling-out" changes that one way or the other.

the fact that his joeks are lame doesn't help his delivery, tho, i must admit.

a father of some guys i went to college with was one of leno's writers. i met him once. he was about as corny as leno. it's not like they've got a hot staff of hilarious writers being kept down by leno. this is the aesthetic they are purposely cultivating. (lots of dad jokes)

I linked this upthread but what the hey:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbwZs1gTkQc

1978!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfUVxIUkmA0

2:19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7f8Di_YlzI

1975!

Get down tonight.

that 1975 routine is painfully unfunny.

from that hollywood reporter interview: Johnny was 66 when he left. This always felt about the right age. The last time I got canned I said that it didn't really seem natural at 57 to be leaving, but 63, 64 feels about right.

actually, he said ON TV that the only person who should be hosting late night after 60 is Johnny.

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6d1caacad1/jay-s-2004-announcement?rel=player

Did I miss something, no more Jay Leno on late night television?

felt very odd to wake up this morning to a world without laughter

Did I miss something, no more Jay Leno on late night television?

Thursday night's show was Jay's final Tonight Show for NBC. He may wind up elsewhere, but Jimmy Fallon takes over on the 17th.

That took forever! Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll have a car show or just stay off tv and play with his cars.

Hardly saw him at all in the last 15 years, but around 2003 he did a monologue joke on the theory that the US would divide Iraq into 3 sectors: "regular, premium, and unleaded." I though that was pretty good for Jay Leno.

i wish the guy would let somebody do a documenatary on him. like in that interview when he's all "Dave says i'm insecure? how am i insecure?" Gee, Jay, keeping a "work two jobs, keep half the paychecks in the bank" mentality when both jobs get you millions a year? Hanging around a network that has always shown disdain for you despite big ratings because you're afraid to try another?

Flu Reviews (what I watched while sick)
COLLISION COURSE: Pat Morita and Jay Leno team up for one of the most anti-Asian racist romps since the 1940s. Leno plays a wisecracking Detroit detective who jabs Morita with endless references to Benihana, Godzilla, Honda, sushi, etc. pic.twitter.com/SHxnIy15lk

— Dennis Perrin (@DennisThePerrin) November 10, 2018

Jay Leno's interview on WTF is oddly compelling as a case study of a true mercenary. Top three moments: when Leno boldly states "if you're taking the company money, you're a company man", Leno's story at the end about watching two strippers fighting (Leno's laughter here is pure ghoul), Leno & Maron both talking about Steve Lubetkin's suicide.

I've met Leno a couple of times at car events in California (he knew my mom by name) and I couldn't really get a read on him. Maron goes easy of course because Leno's a great comedian, right? We didn't all just hallucinate that decades ago? But after listening to him for ninety minutes he walks and talks just like pure soldier-of-fortune mercenary. Go out there and kill, get paid, level up, etc. I ate at a noodle bar in Beijing with a trio of these types - former UK/US army dudes who couldn't'/didn't rotate home from Afghanistan and went somewhere in the world to collect disdain. Of course they each talked about their gun collections. I can confirm that Leno talks about his cars similarly.

it had not even occurred to me that he was still alive

yeah, the WTF episode was unsettling after Marc’s genial “hey he’s a guy, whaddaya gonna do” intro, followed by 90 minutes of Leno refusing to even answer any question that didn’t have the answer “I did it to win, that is the only reason to do things” and coming off 100% as a robot sociopath

stfu jay leno

Not sure what this is about, but otm

hmm, this maybe:
https://people.com/health/jay-leno-on-high-cholesterol-risks/

Yeah, probably that

president dumb shit tweeted "something something... jay leno otm"

Tough crowd, I tell ya [pulls at collar].

honestly all the political stuff on the late night shows is terrible

jay leno going "have you heard about this folks?" and then mentioning something that was in the news that week was also very bad but whatevs

Still don't really understand what the thread revive was about, but I was amused in the linked article when Leno's one instance of utilizing metaphor was, of course, in comparing the human body to a car. I'd like to believe that using (or comprehending) anything other than car-related comparisons is completely beyond him.

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/03/donald-trump-jay-leno-late-night-one-sided

Meyers and Colbert do some incisive stuff now and then.

The guy who coasted on Monica Lewinsky jokes for 3 years can stfu tbh.

Eh, Leno's just spewing the same flavorless pabulum as ever. If it isn't a car, he can't get himself worked up enough to form a serviceable opinion.

I just had a moment of intense self-satisfaction wrt coining the phrase 'macciatovellian' to describe his half-engaged Tonight Show maneuverings. Feel free to use that in your late show monologue jokes.

dude who writes the A Closer Look segments for Seth Meyers is very good

foolishly clicked through to the Leno piece

And I would get hate mail from both sides equally, and I went, ‘Oh that’s fabulous. That’s exactly what I want.’

actually I WANTED everyone to hate me because my jokes were bad, I think it's extremely cool actually

But when people see you as one-sided, it just makes it tough. And plus, you know, I did it when, you know, Clinton was horny and Bush was dumb. It was just a little easier. You know, now it’s all very serious.”

yes, just imagine how hard it would have been to make the blandest possible dipshitted political jokes, if the Bush administration had ever done anything serious

trying to make a roomful of drunks laugh every night in your 20s does not necessarily develop good judgment

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/87/Collision_Course_1989_Film_Poster.jpg/220px-Collision_Course_1989_Film_Poster.jpg

I would get hate mail from both sides equally, and I went, ‘Oh that’s fabulous. That’s exactly what I want.’

https://i.imgur.com/IbmIYLi.jpg

startling trivia: Jay has a grandfather (from Naples) who was born in 1857

Just finished The War for Late Night, Bill Carter's Late Shift sequel, covering the whole Leno-Conan debacle. Not exactly timely; I found a remaindered copy, I read it.

I haven't watched any late-night for years--I'm a Carson, then Letterman guy--and it's hard to imagine any kind of late-night intrigue today causing the kind of commotion this did. I was already drifting away at the time, but I think I sort of followed all that was happening and tuned in for a couple of key shows.

The only guy who really came off as a complete jerk for me was Jimmy Kimmel. I don't know if Conan O'Brien got shafted or not...Carter situates himself about midway on that. The highlight might be Lorne Michaels looking back, near the end, on a speech given to him by old-old-school NBC guy when Michaels decided to leave SNL in 1979. It's the kind of toxically nasty show-business speech that became the foundation for Larry Sanders.

Leno, by the way, is presented very much as Elvis Telecom describes him above.

I've got that book, but have never read it. Didn't expect Kimmel to come off as a jerk, considering he was just a keenly interested third party (I like him a lot more now than I did ten, or especially twenty, years ago).

That's the thing--he was new and very much a third-party, and he decided to push himself right into the middle of everything. Someone else might see this differently, but he was invited onto Leno's failed show as a peace offering (and, true, a little self-serving manipulation by Leno), and Kimmel completely ambushed him.

I should say, the book expands out from the principals into a lot of secondary players: Kimmel, Stewart, Colbert, Ferguson, Craig Kilborn (who I'd completely forgotten), and a million executives and agents.

I sometimes forget that everything that's ever happened is on YouTube.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xbvc97

I guess not quite as bad as described in the book, but Kimmel does come off as something of a publicity-seeking creep (it worked, not surprisingly).

Oh, I remember it well. I was on team anybody who was grinding Jay Leno to powder, so I guess we disagree on his level of jerkiness.

I cannot recall anything Jay Leno has ever said or done that struck me as funny. His main talent would appear to be projecting a kind of ersatz geniality that superficially resembles good humor, but he never convinces me it is genuine or heartfelt, only that it is intended to appear genuine or heartfelt. That standard seems to be good enough for the host of a late night talk show, but imo late night talk shows resemble entertainment as much as near-beer resembles an alcoholic drink.

Eh. Pre-internet and pre over saturation of the TV market, I totally understand the appeal of the format. Being awake late at night is lonely. Conan got me through some shit in my late teens.

Jay always seemed totally disingenuous to me. Ruthlessly driven dude and by all accounts a machine from the early stand up days and forward, but the mask never drops. He creeps me out.

startling trivia: Jay has a grandfather (from Naples) who was born in 1857

Still?

great-grandfather from what I see.

The fact that his mother is from Greenock is more startling to me.

Could've sworn he said regular grandfather since he was making a point about men in his family having kids late in life, but if not I stand corrected

That's the thing--he was new and very much a third-party, and he decided to push himself right into the middle of everything. Someone else might see this differently, but he was invited onto Leno's failed show as a peace offering (and, true, a little self-serving manipulation by Leno), and Kimmel completely ambushed him.

― clemenza, Sunday, October 13, 2019 5:20 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Jay wanted a chummy "welp, gee-whiz, we're all in this wacky show business together! Whaddya gonna do?" segment -- because taking back a show you left on your own terms (as he claimed at the time) because your new show is tanking is just how showbiz goes! -- and Kimmel wasn't entirely a third-party:

According to Kimmel, Leno had some years prior been in serious discussions with ABC about the possibility of jumping ship from NBC. During this period, Leno initiated a friendship with Kimmel, wanting to ensure that they would be on good terms if the move was made. (Under that scenario, Leno would have taken Kimmel's time slot and become his lead-in.) However, after Leno made the arrangement to remain at NBC, "those conversations were gone," according to Kimmel. Realizing that Leno's relationship with him had been artificial, Kimmel felt "worked over," reasoning that Leno was using the ABC discussions as a bargaining tactic to try to get his old job back.[166]

What reason could Kimmel possibly have for going along with a smug, smirky, shruggy-ass bullshit comedy bit like that?

(fwiw, I never liked Kimmel, nor ever found him the least bit funny, but compared to Leno, he's Richard Pryor)

Remember when?

Movie characters watching Jay Leno talk about what is happening in the movie pic.twitter.com/fWpOeOLSm5

— Buck LePard (@BuckLePard) August 5, 2020

all of those were barely jokes

https://news.sky.com/story/jay-leno-seriously-burned-after-his-car-bursts-into-flames-12747744

just to get to the main thing i want to know and i'm assuming others want to know

"I got some serious burns from a gasoline fire. I am OK. Just need a week or two to get back on my feet," he said in a statement to Sky News partner, NBC News.

Conan was playing the long game

wonder which of his cars caught on fire. i feel like with the way every disaster is converging on one thing right now it should be a tesla

https://i.imgur.com/IH5PinF.jpg

here's sumfin