BEST EMAIL EVER

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Got this today:

There is something extremely wrong with every single person in this world. They seem to be part of a pointless simulation. "The Matrix" has portrayed this idea somewhat, yet we watch it and go back to our daily lives. Yet in this very life, underneath the seeming diversity in people's opinions, values, talents, and interests, there is something that makes everyone the same. It is as though this planet is populated only by mindless fakes, objects that provide the appearance of intellect on the surface but are based on only mechanical reflexes and primitive thought patterns. I don't really care if anything I say has been said before, if it was portrayed in movies, in books, or in the lyrics of some useless song. With 6 billion people covering the globe at any given time, thousands and thousands of years of written literature, probability dictates almost any combination of words has occurred numerous times. Yet there is clear evidence there was no action, so those words, just like the people who spoke them, must have been just more fakes. I am forced to use this language (also created by the fakes) because there is no alternative, so everything I write here could be misunderstood to make me sound like one of them, but it will be the action that I take and the dedication that will separate me from them. In my estimation the fakes that occupy this planet don't make up 99%, but more like 99.9999999% of the population. I know this because I've searched, and in my search have so far only found one true ally (I have found him via the internet as well). But even with those numbers we would not give up because there is no logic in giving up. The people on this planet are all fakes because the societies have made them this way. Ideas that populate people's minds have no logic or purpose. Concepts such as religion, god, morality, individualism, freedom, identity, happiness, love and billions of others are all just memes. Like parasites they infect the minds and spread from one person to the next. They have no point or purpose; they exist without any logical basis or foundation. The fakes are completely controlled by them, and they will never see beyond them. To not be controlled by them one must do more then just realize that they exist. One must resist any ideas that have no point, endlessly question, and never accept imperfection or compromise in any answer. We (myself and my ally) are different though. While we have had the limitation of existing only in these societies, something has made it possible for us to resist being indoctrinated into becoming one of those fakes. We have no arbitrary wants, needs, desires, or preferences. If this world continues to exist the way it is then nothing in it will ever have a point. It will always be just a product of random evolution, one with no importance or relevance. The only logical goal is to dedicate our lives to increasing our numbers, those that aren't fakes, so that in thousands of years our numbers may be such that the fakes would no longer be a threat to progress. Those that join us must see every other person occupying this planet as the enemy, and us as their only allies. Like us they must have dedication only to taking the most logical action, and to nothing else.

To tell you more about us, we've posted some personal information about ourselves on a website. You'll also find past responses to us on that webpage.

Obviously anyone reading this email is most likely just another fake. Do not simply reply to this email, if you do your message will almost certainly be ignored. If you do wish to communicate, first demonstrate your interest by taking the effort to find us online, one of the ways to do that is described below.

Use a major search engine to search for every combination of any two words from the list below. The order of the words shouldn't matter as long as you do not search for them in quotes. Also when you pick the right combination you shouldn't need to look at more then the first matches.

There is no trick to this and this isn't meant to be quick, it should, however, be fairly clear if/when you find the right site. The following search engines were verified by us, please use any of them as other search engines may simply not list us correctly: MSN, Lycos, InfoSeek, LookSmart, HotBot, InfoSpace, Google, Ask.com, AllTheWeb, Teoma, WebCrawler, AltaVista, AOL Search, Netscape Search.

perfect theory endless desire eternal logic driving perpetual vision logical infinite dream final best escape objective thought only ambition clue perfection

If this can't be solved, or if you never reach us, there should be no reason for you to give up as we will never give up and thus there will always be some way to find us.

-------------- Ryan and Jacob

Ally, Monday, 1 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah, i got that too...

gareth, Monday, 1 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

did you guys go looking for the site as well?

http://www.eternalambition.com/

Queen fo the buscuits in the oven and the buns in G's bed, Monday, 1 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I was going to look for it but figured that someone else would find it and post the URL here. Thanks, G.

Dan Perry, Monday, 1 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

here's the daddy of his ally

The Hegemon, Tuesday, 2 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I got this too, and once pst the naff matrix ref at the start I thought it an oddly effective bit of self publicity. I put the words into a search as prescribed and I found the first hit to be some guys Blog titled "Follow Me Here", nothing to do with the authors of the text above and the site linked to by Queen G. THis guy had received the email as well. Go and have a read of his site, it's quite diverting.

misterjones, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...
oh man, today's spam is fantastic.

best subject line ever: "SIZZLE IN YOUR PIZZLE".
(hovering a few emails above: "are you FIZZLING in bed?")

from: "Rita"
subject line: "Rita's mom gives the best head".

wesrdffgdh: "don't feel estranged in your boudoir7"

mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Sunday, 7 September 2003 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I get a ton referring to "milfs". If you don't know what that means, that's probably for the better.

Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Sunday, 7 September 2003 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

fnnyaa75 raaisee that trouuser flaagg sk
OT fix your bologgna pony immediiateely kk

s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 7 September 2003 19:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"doctor.. this is difficult to talk about... i feel... estranged... in my... boudoir."

"FIZZLING IN BED JA? I HAF JUST VOT YOU NEED TO PUT DER SIZZLE IN YOUR PIZZLE!"

mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Sunday, 7 September 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

(sorry, it's getting late and i'm still in the computer room at university and my inner perry is emerging)(yes, you heard me right, "inner perry". "emerging".)

(that's it, i'm leaving.)

mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Sunday, 7 September 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

nine years pass...

The joys of working in the livestock industry in one subject line:
"Freak Show - Semen For Sale!"

WilliamC, Friday, 26 April 2013 16:01 (twelve years ago)


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