http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:a00.jpg
"These Book of Mormon stories have been written especially for you. The stories are taken from a book that is sacred because it came from Heavenly Father. As you read these stories, remember that they are about real people who lived in America long ago."
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 15:57 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:a18.jpg
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 15:58 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:a44.jpghttp://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:a46.jpg
^^^wine on the ground, not blood ;_;
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 15:59 (fifteen years ago)
xpostThat guy on the left is scheeeemin', I don't trust him.
― I feel absolute embarrasment and humiliation within the msgbrd context (Z S), Saturday, 13 March 2010 15:59 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:a3a.jpg
You were right not to trust him ZS bcz there he is wailing on Nephi with a staff.
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:00 (fifteen years ago)
He's like the Snidely Whiplash of the Book of Momonb.
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:a70.jpg
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:01 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:a78.jpg
hai guyz!
oh man maybe this thread was not a brilliant idea, so many of these pics are just ppl talking or praying
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:aa2.jpg
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:03 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:ad8.jpg
"Laman and Lemuel’s followers called themselves Lamanites. They became a dark-skinned people. God cursed them because of their wickedness. The Lamanites became lazy and would not work."
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:04 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:ae4.jpg
Even pictures of the literal anti-Christ are not v exciting.
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:05 (fifteen years ago)
xpost "...and suddenly had a craving for chicken 'n waffles"
― Sexplosion!, Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:05 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:b0a.jpg
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:06 (fifteen years ago)
Why are these "Americans" wearing turbans?
― President Keyes, Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:07 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:b30.jpghttp://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:b34.jpghttp://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:b3e.jpg
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:07 (fifteen years ago)
charlton heston!
― Sexplosion!, Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:08 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:b5e.jpg
"King Noah did this because he was lazy."
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:08 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:b64.jpg
"King Noah loved the riches he took from his people. He and his priests spent their time drinking wine and being wicked."
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:09 (fifteen years ago)
This is what a holy ghost forcefield looks like when protecting Ricardo Montalban:
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:b70.jpghttp://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:b72.jpg
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:10 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:b84.jpg
It didn't stick around long enough, though.
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:11 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:b90.jpg
You know the people in the foreground are good guys bcz when they burn a man live, they don't watch him.
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:12 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:b96.jpg
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:13 (fifteen years ago)
"...He and his priests spent their time drinking wine and being wicked"
King Noah is the SHIT!
― I feel absolute embarrasment and humiliation within the msgbrd context (Z S), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:13 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:ba2.jpg
These feel kind of like family vacation photos.
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:bd8.jpg
"Alma had a son named Alma."
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:15 (fifteen years ago)
Oh man I forgot how sweet Nehor's hat is:
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:c0e.jpghttp://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:c10.jpghttp://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:c12.jpg
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:17 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:c14.jpg
"Nehor boldly defended himself."
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:c1e.jpg
You can tell this guy is a follower of Nehor bcz of hat + intense arm scenes.
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:18 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:c30.jpg
This is supposed to be an important war battle but it looks more like hacky sack circle at summer camp.
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:19 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:c54.jpg
"Zeezrom could not trick Amulek, so he offered him money to say there is no God. Amulek knew God lives and said Zeezrom knew it too but loved money more than God"
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:20 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:c5e.jpg
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:c78.jpg
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:21 (fifteen years ago)
Everyone's favorite story is AMMON, who cuts off a whole bunch of people's arms. Will we see arm-slashing violence? Cross your fingers!
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:22 (fifteen years ago)
This is the closest we come:
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:c98.jpg
"The servants took the cut-off arms to King Lamoni and told him what Ammon had done."
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Saturday, 13 March 2010 16:23 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:c9a.jpg
"The king was astonished at Ammon’s great power. He wanted to see Ammon but was afraid to because he thought Ammon was the Great Spirit."
wtf half of these look like they could be from the illustrated novelization of parts: the clonus horror
― the jaws of impermanence and soul death (reddening), Saturday, 13 March 2010 22:45 (fifteen years ago)
looooooool @ 'family vacation photos'
― oh shit sorry another useless post (acoleuthic), Saturday, 13 March 2010 22:49 (fifteen years ago)
xpost -- Hahahaha
― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 13 March 2010 22:51 (fifteen years ago)
Stand back, courtiers, the king is gonna puke. As would I if you showed me a sheet full of hacked-off arms.
― falling while carrying an owl (a passing spacecadet), Saturday, 13 March 2010 23:27 (fifteen years ago)
King Noah looks like the fat Russian guy from the TV series "Sliders".
― might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Saturday, 13 March 2010 23:30 (fifteen years ago)
"Jack returned to the beach only to find that Kate and the rest of the Oceanic Six had left with the others."
This thread is awesome, Abbott. Esp. when one is on Percocet.
― El Poopo Loco (Pancakes Hackman), Sunday, 14 March 2010 00:39 (fifteen years ago)
LOL...Mormons
― musicfanatic, Sunday, 14 March 2010 00:44 (fifteen years ago)
Any pics of their special underwear?
― musicfanatic, Sunday, 14 March 2010 00:45 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:cfe.jpg
People only look truly jovial in this book when they're being "wicked."
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Sunday, 14 March 2010 00:53 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:d06.jpg
By far my favorite picture – making this pose was instant-laugh injoke for me & my brother.
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:d10.jpg
This is the face you make when God strikes you deaf.
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Sunday, 14 March 2010 00:54 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:d1a.jpg
"One day while he was begging, he was trampled to death."
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:d1c.jpg
"The Zoramites had once belonged to God’s Church but had become wicked and were worshiping idols."
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Sunday, 14 March 2010 00:55 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:d22.jpg
An exciting name – "Rameumptom" – for a boring ziggurat platform.
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Sunday, 14 March 2010 00:56 (fifteen years ago)
I can't see this plate from William Blake's "America A Prophecy"
http://www.blakearchive.org/blake/images/america.o.p12.100.jpg
without thinking of this picture of Lucifer from my childhood Mormon picture book
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:260.jpg
(which, Joseph Smith is no Blake, but it is kinda crazy that they each did their own Milton fanfic)
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Sunday, 14 March 2010 01:45 (fifteen years ago)
I just got to the Mormons in my Big Book of American History. Young is about to lead everyone up to this salt lake he's heard about.
― ljubljana, Sunday, 14 March 2010 01:46 (fifteen years ago)
Too bad Joseph Smith didn't do his own original illuminations along with his "translation"...
― Of "Trade Federation" fame, (Viceroy), Sunday, 14 March 2010 02:10 (fifteen years ago)
If Joseph Smith chose to do illuminated prints ala Blake I'd have had a lot less dogma in my childhood, and so would you, Mr. Viceroy...
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Sunday, 14 March 2010 02:11 (fifteen years ago)
Lucifer looks like Liberace, except not as fabulous.
― might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Sunday, 14 March 2010 10:04 (fifteen years ago)
Awesome! The fights look like dances and the bloodless corpses look like sleeping drunks!
― StanM, Sunday, 14 March 2010 10:06 (fifteen years ago)
Wait, so every time someone's lying on the ground, they're actually dead? This is getting even more like Star Trek: The Animated Series. Really - aliens who are just humans in funny made up clothes, odd architecture, violence but no blood, bizarre plots.
― might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Sunday, 14 March 2010 10:10 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:e68.jpg http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2372/1613783002_ef583a6a58.jpg
― falling while carrying an owl (a passing spacecadet), Sunday, 14 March 2010 12:24 (fifteen years ago)
I thought Bea Arthur.
― StanM, Sunday, 14 March 2010 12:35 (fifteen years ago)
i was really just going "hmm" at the first few posts and then every picture just got funnier and funnier
― all I go is in (some dude), Sunday, 14 March 2010 13:08 (fifteen years ago)
Strike a pose, there's nothing to it.
― StanM, Sunday, 14 March 2010 13:14 (fifteen years ago)
(xxpost) is the guy to his right someone who looks like Lincoln, or is it actually Lincoln?
― might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Sunday, 14 March 2010 13:30 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:e26.jpg
the holy golden shower
― StanM, Sunday, 14 March 2010 13:40 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:e10.jpg"Would you mind, you know, phoning the fire brigade? Earlier someone said they'd call, but I don't think they did.""Yeah man, we've been waiting here an hour."http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:e1e.jpg"I'm sorry sir, but this is not a designated smoking area."
― might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Sunday, 14 March 2010 13:57 (fifteen years ago)
Soundtrack for this thread has to be "Lewis takes his shirt off"
― Facepalm. With a hammer. (Paul in Santa Cruz), Sunday, 14 March 2010 18:29 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:e68.jpg
Was thinking of the safety helmet Mike Myers wore in that one SNL skit were he is attached to a playground gym and hanging out w Nicole Kidman.
― Adam Bruneau, Sunday, 14 March 2010 19:04 (fifteen years ago)
http://www.lds.org/images/Manuals/tchg-pix.nfo:o:ec6.jpg
I love that the Mayans apparently had malamutes as pets.
― How to Make an American Quit (Abbott), Sunday, 14 March 2010 19:30 (fifteen years ago)
Mayamutes
― El Poopo Loco (Pancakes Hackman), Sunday, 14 March 2010 19:42 (fifteen years ago)
Dunno if we've got a thread for it elsewhere, but the musical is actually kind of fun!
― crazy donkey winger (forksclovetofu), Monday, 23 May 2011 01:58 (fourteen years ago)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmp-xmguqh4
― crazy donkey winger (forksclovetofu), Monday, 23 May 2011 01:59 (fourteen years ago)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfTlyuZphf8
― crazy donkey winger (forksclovetofu), Monday, 23 May 2011 02:00 (fourteen years ago)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixvi4sQx-aA
― crazy donkey winger (forksclovetofu), Monday, 23 May 2011 02:04 (fourteen years ago)
The South Park dudes do a Broadway musical called "The Book of Mormon"
FYI, not to be buzzkill! I love seeing this thread in new answers.
― free inappropriate education (Abbbottt), Monday, 23 May 2011 02:18 (fourteen years ago)
ah, did not come up in search. anyways, the music is nice.
― crazy donkey winger (forksclovetofu), Monday, 23 May 2011 04:17 (fourteen years ago)
Crabbbbitttt, in the latest issue of the New Yorker there's an article that says that Arnold Friberg's "image of Nephi is canonic among believers, and, it must be said, looks exactly like Mitt Romney."
can you confirm, must that have been said??
― you're all going to hello (Z S), Thursday, 9 August 2012 01:37 (thirteen years ago)
Well here he is:
http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q258/ParshallAE/FribergArnold-YoungNephiSubduesHisR.jpg
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 9 August 2012 02:15 (thirteen years ago)
That's from the famous incident when he subdued Rick Perry in debate.
Is Romney as beefy as all those Friberg paintings? Those dudes were ridiculously built. iirc on some thread Anthony Easton said Friberg paintings gave him erottic feelings. Ned has identified the iconic image correctly btw.
― drawings by teen cultists (Crabbits), Thursday, 9 August 2012 02:23 (thirteen years ago)
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2uAZ4vIowKE/T1507Vld_vI/AAAAAAAAEDA/0Bz337Yr3As/s1600/ArtBook__071_071__LehiAndHisPeopleArriveInPromisedLand____.jpg
Another of Nephi, in profile, looking imo significantly more robust than Romney, but otoh everyone does in a Friberg painting. I mean look at that little boy.
― drawings by teen cultists (Crabbits), Thursday, 9 August 2012 02:27 (thirteen years ago)
Oooh Friberg. What exactly is that instrument in the old man's hands? Doesn't look like a normal compass to me looks more like a ~god compass~
― Royal Governor His Eminence and Imperial (Viceroy), Thursday, 9 August 2012 02:44 (thirteen years ago)
duh it's a liahona
― drawings by teen cultists (Crabbits), Thursday, 9 August 2012 02:46 (thirteen years ago)
that little boy is ripped
― you're all going to hello (Z S), Thursday, 9 August 2012 03:04 (thirteen years ago)
It's boy Conan taking a vacation from spinning that wheel of pain.
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 9 August 2012 03:06 (thirteen years ago)
Friberg's like two shades subtler than Boris Vallejo.
― drawings by teen cultists (Crabbits), Thursday, 9 August 2012 03:07 (thirteen years ago)
I was just telling sunny successor about the baptismal bowl on top of the horses this weekend.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6udew9axmdM
Also, my dad kinda snapped at me last night (in a polite Romney way) when I referred to the church's prophet as "Joe Smith".
― pplains, Monday, 22 October 2012 20:53 (thirteen years ago)
Cool. I'm watching the full video right now. Pretty ridiculous so far.
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 22 October 2012 21:40 (thirteen years ago)
God is a less of a Creator than Regional Manager.
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Monday, 22 October 2012 21:43 (thirteen years ago)
Mainstream Christianity is just as bizarre a concept, but having spent my life in the church up until about the age of 18, I can tell you that the biggest difference is the lack of spooky secret rituals and shit. Evangelicals at least put their crazy on display.
― Bout to go Jethro TULL on that ass (Johnny Fever), Monday, 22 October 2012 21:48 (thirteen years ago)
Evangelicals are people too my friend
― let's have sex and then throw pottery (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 23 October 2012 03:34 (thirteen years ago)
It comes across just like those old Freemason tales of secret handshakes and "have you walked the sands, my friend?" type questions.
And not so long ago, I didn't think twice about baptizing the dead (and non-Mormon). Eh, what did it hurt? But seeing it on full display there with a child, I'd be pretty pissed if my dead relative's name was being used in such a creepy ceremony.
― pplains, Tuesday, 23 October 2012 03:37 (thirteen years ago)
Full video/ceremonyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VrsFEiTpsQ
Most interesting part of that video is around 28 minutes in, post Fall, when they get a couple to come up to the altar and everyone in the ceremony joins them. They first have the woman pledge to follow the laws of God and follow man as he follows God. Then they have the man pledge to follow the laws of God, with no mention of the woman. So basically the woman has to submit to God and man before man submits to God, which is fucked up.
Also, the first man Adam is co-creator of the world, he just had his memory wiped before he woke up in Eden. And whenever Elohim questions Lucifer, he's all "Come on, we did this on the other worlds dude"
It's like Biblical fan fiction. One day I'm going to read the Book of Mormon for kicks.
― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 23 October 2012 03:45 (thirteen years ago)
It's pretty bloody. One of the dudes takes a sword and just goes to town on everyone.
Mormons are big on blood. Utah one was the last state to stop using a firing line as their method of execution.
― pplains, Tuesday, 23 October 2012 03:55 (thirteen years ago)
More general Bible illustration stuff but
http://highway62.tumblr.com/post/44315873541/my-white-heaven
http://25.media.tumblr.com/5e4dce0ee7f82c807fbc15d3564dcb84/tumblr_mhq8m1GIdE1qzox0ro5_1280.jpg
Among PLENTY of others.
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 1 March 2013 21:38 (twelve years ago)
grave-robbing angel
― No, not sinister (Austerity Ponies), Friday, 1 March 2013 21:44 (twelve years ago)
wait was that kid reanimated before or after the angel dug her out of her grave?
Whoa, love that. Thanks for linking!
― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Friday, 1 March 2013 21:49 (twelve years ago)
Jesus chilling at Disneyland...http://24.media.tumblr.com/58982c3fcbc0554588b3d01a6b5c4863/tumblr_mhq8m1GIdE1qzox0ro4_1280.jpg
― These goons are from Galactor and who gives a s*** (snoball), Friday, 1 March 2013 22:52 (twelve years ago)
http://25.media.tumblr.com/55eda4513f024ce94f1be2f585a273fe/tumblr_mj0fhjlkZa1qdmmiqo1_400.gif
― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Saturday, 2 March 2013 01:44 (twelve years ago)
ha, so glad you did that.
― the 'dirty sprite' is implied (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 2 March 2013 04:28 (twelve years ago)
― Ned Raggett, Friday, March 1, 2013 3:38 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
http://i.imgur.com/EryLRwY.jpg
Man, those Bernie Bros just won't give up.
― pplains, Sunday, 28 August 2016 03:31 (nine years ago)