More Reasons to Hate Charles Saachi and Nigella Lawsons

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Self
Mark Quinn
1997

SMH Australia News One of the most haunting elegies in contempary art history, a deaths mask made from the artists own blood, is no longer. Builders unplugged it when nigella lawson and charles saachi moved into their new flat , consider it an allegory on vanity. Think about 8 pints of blood seeping over charles new blondewood floors. art wins.

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

do es this link work

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i have to say that my titters upon reading about this in the Metro this morning were mingled with shudders... as much about the thought of those blondewood floors as about the faact that the head was made of HUMANG BLUD...

― katie, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

more arty answers

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(heh my answer wasn't arty enough for anthony ;))

― katie, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

that was my reaction to katy

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

melting, I'm melting

― Queen I never had sexual relations with that BildeberG, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

what was he doing with a big head shaped ball of human blud amongst his frozen bleedin peas?

i am throwing my Domestic Goddess cookbook out with immediacy.

― nickie, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hehe, I had a larf over this in the Metro this morning too. It doesn't surprise me they kept it in the freezer along with Nigella's piggy ears. Yum. I bet the leaking blood was all congealed and smelly on their trendy slate tiled floor.

― Madchen, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

is (sorry was) it actually a death mask, though? I thought the fellow was still alive. It really is a dismal story, like something out of an episode of a hyper radical version of Ever Decreasing Circles.

― Senor Pulpo, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i said deaths, as in something that reminds one of death
i think it was modelled on death masks, as well it contains all of the blood a human contains. the gentleman is still alive, but all signs point to a goff obsession with deff.

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

more info on quinn

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Rumours that nigella has barbecued Damien Hirsts calf with some rosemary and a little rock salt have so far proved unfounded, however.

― Matt, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yum formadehedy

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I shall never eat in the Tate Cafe again...

― Tim Bateman, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I giggled about this in Metro before all of you. I heard about the piece ages ago and I was amazed they'd actually tried to keep it as a permanent art piece, especially just in their home freezer. Did the frost not stick to it and ruin it over time any way? And if it spilled over the floor than they can't even keep it in some kind of tupperware arangement. Ew.

― Graham, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

wait wait, that was a missed detail, they kept in the fridge. Could they not afford a Vitrine of some sort.

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I read it weren't in the fridge/freezer. that it's kept frozen by its own freezing SYSTEM in its own PLINTH and that when saatchi's kitchen was being fixed to comply with nigella's SPECIFICATIONS some kitchen-fixing d00d just managed to unplug it and MELT-O.

― RJG, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It would be a

Vitrine, not a plinth

plinth

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

PLINTH

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

fuck it a plinth is a stand, a vitrine is a glassed in container

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It looks as though it has started melting already in that pic.

I couldn't have something like that on display in my house. My cats would go mental. Cranium-shaped ice-lollies for cats? I feel so sick.

― C J, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I wasn't trying to be wrong. frum thi daily mail [I KNOW]: Mr Saatchi paid a reported
£20,000 five years ago for the art
work, Self, by Marc Quinn, which
relied on its own refrigeration unit
in an integral plinth.
But yesterday his investment
was looking, not to put too fine a
point on it, a bloody mess.
During work to extend Mr
Saatchi's kitchen to Nigella's
specifications, someone managed
to pull the plinth's plug out of the
socket. but tha's thi daily mail. the guardian mentions frozen peas.

― RJG, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I wonder if the delightful Ms Lawson's next cookery book will contain a recipe for making 18 yards of Black Pudding?

― C J, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the guardian mentions the frozen pea story but only as the product of rumourmongering. That story in full:

The art world was last night trying to establish whether builders had accidentally defrosted a seminal piece of Britart by unplugging collector Charles Saatchi's kitchen freezer. Rumours spread after suggestions that Saatchi had stored a blood sculpture made by Britart's enfant terrible, Marc Quinn, among his frozen peas. The work, Self, consists of Quinn's head cast in nine pints of his own frozen, congealed blood. Builders who arrived to extend Saatchi's London kitchen at the request of his partner, the television chef, Nigella Lawson, are said to have unplugged the appliances to find red liquid oozing across the floor. Saatchi declined to comment last night. Some art world insiders were sceptical, arguing the blood head was always exhibited in its own refrigeration unit. Saatchi bought the piece for a rumoured pounds 13,000 in 1991 from art dealer Jay Jopling, who said the "very fragile" sculpture required "quite a bit of commitment on the part of the collector".

― nickie, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Metro says "Turning off a freezer normally causes few problems, beyond a few problems, beyond some packets of peas thawing...A couple of days after [builders] switched off power to the kitchen, a pool of blood appeared around the freezer"

Misleading. I will never trust a thing Emma says ever again.

― Graham, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I like the way The Guardian had the story and pic as part of a set with the 'Thatcher decapitated' one. What are the chances of TWO HEAD STORIES ON THE SAME DAY? Bet they loved it.

― Archel, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Tch. How difficult it is to find good help these days.

― suzy, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

So how about a new head for Thatcher's status made of her own blood, then?

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I have have a rusty carving knife, I'm will to go and collect a few litres. (Do Vampires have their own blood?)

― Ed, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

She doesn't have any Ned.

― jel --, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Another brilliant idea shot down by science.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Saatchi paid HOW MUCH for this??

He could have 8 pints of my blood for that sort of cash. Though not all at once I suppose or I would be Very Dead and unable to enjoy my ill-gotten gains.

Also I do not have a jelly mould in the shape of my head, though I do have one in the shape of a cute bunny-rabbit. And a fish one which I use for shaping salmon mousse. Perhaps I could start a new trend.

I wonder how long it would take to collect up 8 pints of a person's blood? I give blood once a year to the local hospital blood transfusion service - they take a pint of the stuff, after which I get a bit weak and wobbly and have to Lie Down For Quite A Long Time, plus drink tea and eat biscuits. (I should just clarify that the tea/biscuits thing is compulsory at Blood Donor Clinics in the UK, and is no indication that I am a pig or anything.

― C J, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The handy Metro redeems itself by saying the blood was drained over a period of 5 months.

― Graham, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

8 pints? That's nearly a fridgeful.

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Isn't this just a clever piece of rumour-mongering from Saatchi, who is always looking to boost the value and repute of his collection of British art?

It's a nice image though - the attractive, successful celebrity couple furnishing their lovenest, whilst a hugely valuable work of modern art (rafishly stashed amongst the frozen peas by Saatchi) melts into sticky red goo all over their new kitchen floor.

Not only was 'Self' - one of the key pieces of the famous Sensation exhibition - kept in its own refrigeration unit at all times, but this refrigeration unit had a backup system in the case of power failure.

The 'Iconophile of the Year' award should definitely go to Patricia Cornwell. Not only does she pollute our collective unconcious with her turgid works of fiction, but she's responsible for destroying a painting by one of Britain's greatest artists - Walter Sickert.

According to her, Sickert (who painted a series of pictures of prostitues known as the 'Camden Town Murder' series) was in fact Jack the Ripper. Most definitely. (as Johnyy Depp might have put it...)

To test out this theory, Cornwell (a former mortuary assistant) ripped into shreds one of Sickert's paintings, and subjected it to rigorous forensic tests. These tests came up with nothing. She had hoped to find conclusive proof that Sickert was the Whitechapel murderer, and not Queen Victoria's daughter, the Polish hairdresser, Virginia Woolf's cousin or any of the other usual suspects.

― D., Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yeah i know, its hype
but i love andy so i lvoe hype.

― anthony, Thursday, 4 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

he took 5 months to collect the blood from his own arm.

so now you know.

― dr daif, Friday, 5 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oops. Did I say iconophile in that last post? I think I meant iconoclast.

― D., Friday, 5 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i read afterwards though that only a tiny section of the painting was used in for the tests and the whole thing was not ruined at all. not checked which story is true though, and it was stupid publicity seeking anyway, since Sickert's name was cleared years ago

― michael, Friday, 5 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

five years pass...

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/09_03/NigellaXP2009_700x684.jpg

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 20 September 2007 19:55 (seventeen years ago)

that hand outside the car is beyond creepy skinny.

― stevienixed, Thursday, 20 September 2007 19:56 (seventeen years ago)

What's more creepy is her right arm is chopped off

― Not the real Village People, Thursday, 20 September 2007 22:04 (seventeen years ago)

"Take that Dom..."
http://www.dafjones.com/main/clippings/webcut/daffy3.jpg

― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 20 September 2007 23:52 (seventeen years ago)

oops...
http://www.dafjones.com/main/clippings/webcut/daffy3.jpg

― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 20 September 2007 23:52 (seventeen years ago)

five years pass...

http://i2.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article1956121.ece/ALTERNATES/s2197/PEOPLE-ONLY-Nigella-Lawson-1956121.jpg

Domestic Darkness: Nigella Lawson attacked by husband

― Le Bateau Ivre, Sunday, 16 June 2013 12:09 (twelve years ago)

It would be nice to see a follow up photo of the odious fucker getting decked by Nigel.

― Damo Suzuki's Parrot, Sunday, 16 June 2013 12:19 (twelve years ago)

Don't think Nigel has the strength these days, he's a bag of bones

― Bees Against Racism (Tom D.), Sunday, 16 June 2013 12:59 (twelve years ago)

But, you know, one odious fucker decking another odious fucker is fine by me

― Bees Against Racism (Tom D.), Sunday, 16 June 2013 13:00 (twelve years ago)

They could always just simultaneously strangle each other instead.

― Damo Suzuki's Parrot, Sunday, 16 June 2013 13:07 (twelve years ago)

"We were sitting outside a restaurant having an intense debate about the children, and I held Nigella's neck repeatedly while attempting to emphasise my point.

"There was no grip, it was a playful tiff.

"Nigella's tears were because we both hate arguing, not because she had been hurt."

― r|t|c, Monday, 17 June 2013 16:15 (twelve years ago)

playful.tiff

― ogmor, Monday, 17 June 2013 16:34 (twelve years ago)

and I held Nigella's neck repeatedly while attempting to emphasise my point.

riiiiiight ...

― mark e, Monday, 17 June 2013 16:35 (twelve years ago)

Cmon who hasnt

― should we bin tapping? (darraghmac), Monday, 17 June 2013 16:49 (twelve years ago)

i'm sure you'll all be thrilled to see what this creepy fucking dongbag had to say:

https://twitter.com/nickgriffinmep/status/346606372110102528

― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Monday, 17 June 2013 16:56 (twelve years ago)

playful.tiff

― ogmor, Monday, June 17, 2013 6:34 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

LOL

― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 17 June 2013 16:56 (twelve years ago)

dear god

xpost

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 17 June 2013 16:57 (twelve years ago)

Whaaaa xxp

― Le Bateau Ivre, Monday, 17 June 2013 16:58 (twelve years ago)

followup comments on that twitter feed are great and otm

what a worm

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 17 June 2013 17:03 (twelve years ago)

LOL, what a closet case that guy is

― Bees Against Racism (Tom D.), Monday, 17 June 2013 17:33 (twelve years ago)

I have been failed by democracy many times, but the fact that Nick Griffin is my elected representative really is the worst.

― oppet, Monday, 17 June 2013 18:06 (twelve years ago)

oh no oppet :(

― ✌_✌ (c sharp major), Monday, 17 June 2013 18:25 (twelve years ago)

I know. I'd like to think he's got no chance of re-election next year, but that might be giving the racists of North West England too much credit. If he does lose it won't be cos of comments like that.

― oppet, Monday, 17 June 2013 18:33 (twelve years ago)

Pot, meet Brendan O'Neill-shaped kettle:
http://www.spiked-online.com/site/article/13714/

― Neil S, Tuesday, 18 June 2013 08:52 (twelve years ago)

one month passes...

http://hillgrove-news-opinion.blogspot.in/2013/07/charles-saatchi-gave-nigella-lawson.html

Notable as much for photo of "pr guru" than anything else.

― click here to start exploding (ledge), Thursday, 25 July 2013 14:14 (twelve years ago)

Haha good god.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 25 July 2013 14:16 (twelve years ago)

jfc

― who killfiled cock robin? (NickB), Thursday, 25 July 2013 14:25 (twelve years ago)

what a bunch of shits that guy hangs out with too:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/hillgrovepr/

― who killfiled cock robin? (NickB), Thursday, 25 July 2013 14:31 (twelve years ago)

I actually feel sorry for Sting in that picture.

― slamming on the dubstep brakes (snoball), Thursday, 25 July 2013 14:35 (twelve years ago)

eight months pass...

Nigella Lawson barred from flight out of London to Los Angeles over cocaine history

― Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 3 April 2014 20:43 (eleven years ago)

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