worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

Texas Club $6.95
Cajun chicken, bacon, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, & Caesar dressing wrapped in sushi rice with tapioca paper.

NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95
Roasted turkey, jalapenos, pepper jack, avocados, green onions, mayonnaise and sriracha mayonnaise wrapped in sushi rice and tapioca paper. First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Kemosabe Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, BBQ beef brisket, french fries, crispy onions & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

Big Bird on Fire $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, blackened chicken, french fries & a sweet chili sauce.

Jackass Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, BBQ pork, french fries & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

NEW! Hidden Chicken Roll $7.95
Grilled marinated teriyaki chicken, wrapped with avocado, mandarin oranges, crushed wontons and lettuce in tapioca paper. Served with a teriyaki dipping sauce.

Morgan’s Earthy Crunchy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, crunchy tempura bits, avocado, cucumber, julienne vegetables, daikon sprouts served with a ponzu dipping sauce.

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, tempura chicken & eel sauce.

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Winner!

kemosabe roll -- aka brisket sushi

http://www.cuisinecapers.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/P42100441.JPG

killer thread!

voted kemosabe

jesus christ

where is the "fuck you, guy fieri" poll option

and for dessert...
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/03/peeps-recipes-how-to-make-peepshi-sushi-rice-krispies-treats-easter.html

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/images/22100331-peepshi2-primary.jpg

i didn't notice the name of the only one that looked remotely palatable--oh lol it's the "earthy crunchy" roll

Big Bird On Fire couldn't be worse if it actually was Big Bird, on fire

i voted for NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95 tbh -- turkey, pepper jack cheese AND SUSHI RICE

o jesus

voted hidden chicken cause i don't dig orange w/savory dishes, but am starving and would gobble up all the other ones and then scream. I might have the order of that reversed.

*BARFS*

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll

semi-surprised he left "Krunchy" off the front of this

i love how this sentence loses absolutely none of its meaning if you write it like this

We developed the "Gringo Sushi" for those that aren't quite ready or sure about "Sushi Maki", with its "gay raw fish and seaweed, which is what fags eat"

hey guys i'm going to post the names of some other items at this establishment

Koi Fish Tacos – (just kidding!) $6.95

hahaha

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places? "oh this is just too healthy, americans won't eat it. deep fry some shit quick"??

Eddie’s Mommy (Eda-Mame) $4.25

Tootsie Roll $9.95
A tempura battered roll with smoked salmon, cream cheese, togarashi (chili powder), green onion, & eel sauce drizzled over the top.

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places?

????

never seen tempura in a sushi roll

Jumpin’ Jack Fish Roll $11.95
w/ cream cheese, pepper jack cheese, jalapeño, togarashi, green onion, hamachi, and eel sauce.

jesus fucking christ

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

NEW! Wonton Wonderland $6.25
3 flash fried wontons, dredged in cinnamon sugar, with vanilla ice cream between layers. Topped with raspberry, white chocolate, chocolate and caramel sauces finished with whipped cream and dusted with powdered sugar.

http://www.texwasabis.com/images/index_11.jpg
SURFS UP FAGS!!!
http://www.texwasabis.com/images/index_13.jpg

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

now add cream cheese to that

I am amazed he kept from throwing bacon onto this shit.

I envy you, Mr Que. It's an epidemic in these parts.

"california style sushi"

Welcome to the world headquarters for our exclusive line of Tex Wasabi/Johnny Garlics merchandise and our very popular gift cards. While our on-line catalog is being shot in exotic locations with screaming hot models, jump in the pool now and make gift giving simple, affordable, and a guaranteed hit with…Gift Cards! Your “Guy Fieri Signature” gift card can be used for anything we offer guests in any of our restaurants in Sonoma County, Sacramento, and Roseville. Buy them in packs so you always have one on hand for anniversary’s, birthdays, special soccer parties, bridal showers, or for those emergencies when cooking for the family is “not an option!” Give them away or use them yourself…but don’t be caught without one!

Please note that after you order your gift cards, delivery will be complete in 7-10 business days. If you live near one of our restaurants, feel free to stop in and buy them there so you have them when you want them….now!

As soon as our models shake the sand out of their clothes we will be able to publish our on-line catalog. Just click here so you can bookmark this page and check back. It will blow you away!

fuckin' america.

sooo meta: countryfied texas-style california-style sushi

seriously! even the name Tex Wasabi's is blowing my mind

Thought of kemosabe roll makes me physically ill.

http://declubz.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/insect-sushi.jpg

half-expected one of these to literally just be shit wrapped in rice

sushi with an attitude!

gahhhh i'm searching so hard for the achewood strip with the mexican chain restaurant, because it is basically this

RIP Chaki:

http://illogicalcontraption.blogspot.com/2010/03/welcome-to-my-nightmare-went-to-guy.html

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_zqFoq3qej2c/Sl91PM8GNNI/AAAAAAABAvU/H4bCOY41Xlc/s400/obamasushi.jpg

http://www.zazzle.com/cartoon_boy_piss_on_obama_sticker-217217153952322253

aw

http://m.assetbar.com/achewood/autaux?b=M%5ea11f09b8576e606bcb5038dfdb92fb821&u=http%3A%2F%2Fachewood.com%2Fcomic.php%3Fdate%3D08202007

Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]

i love how Ray's all into it

Seriously, Hagar appears to be turning into ALF.

Hagar: "well I do eat a lot of cats... IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! and by that I mean pussies!!! as in, I go down on a lot of women even though I'm 72!!! yowwwww!" *takes eleventh shot of tequila in two hours*

the Guyliners

seriously what is up with that

holy fuck Carrot Top is 55, I woulda guessed 70

Last Exit to Flavortown

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/flavortown-ohio-thousands-want-columbus-124315609.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8kUZbaHKKc

That is a great story but... I've eaten at Fieri's restaurant in Vegas and it was godawful

ha his description of Fieri as some kind of Adonis (6'5"?)

Yeah I was like... you are grossly undercutting your story by showing the picture you took of yourself with Guy towering over him

Also:

maybe we can get Guy's restaurant to give us a drink with a falafel garnish

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:01 PM bookmarkflaglink

I actually did this myself during my quarantine home cocktail adventures

I cannot begin to imagine what that would look like

This was the recipe:

3 oz rye
1 oz sweet vermouth
juice from 1/4 lemon
1 clove garlic, roughly chopped
1 tsp tahini
salt and pepper

Muddle tahini, garlic, salt, pepper, and lemon juice in a shaker. Add rye and sweet vermouth and shake vigorously for 1 minute. Serve over ice and garnish with a falafel.

that actually sounds outstanding until the floating a fried bolus of chickpeas part

wait i thought guy was short? this is turning my world upside-down

yeah, I pictured him about five and half foot-longs tall

He grew up in Humboldt County CA, across the river from myself. But his name was Guy Ferry, he changed it to sound more ethnic.
I remember him selling pretzels at the fair.

guy fieri is average height. not tall or short

He grew up in Humboldt County CA, across the river from myself. But his name was Guy Ferry, he changed it to sound more ethnic.
I remember him selling pretzels at the fair.

― Andy the Grasshopper, Thursday, December 10, 2020 9:57 AM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

he changed it back to the original family name that had been anglicized. respect to an Italianx king

I thought he was Bryan Ferry's meatball brother?

Or maybe just having the last name of "Ferry" is difficult in high school.

He's largely a tool but I do respect his help to the firefighters & folks who the CA fires have displaced. My cousin is a firefighter and Guy bought him two cans of chewing tobacco at the gas station.

Gas Station Chewing Tobacco sounds like a righteous appetizer

especially if you order Amoco Cheez Chili Dog as a main course.

Diners, Dives & Fueling Stations, Season 3

i'd eat that off a flip-flop!

https://i.imgur.com/CivWZC2.gif

whoa not okay

Not as disturbing as the eating in reverse video tbh

is eating in reverse butt-chugging

butt-chugging did make for an entertaining Martin Amis novel

Dan you have just undermined twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad

Did Martin Amis write The Human Centipede?

I mean the video is upthread, I'm nearly certain

But thx

great review!
https://everywhereist.com/2021/12/bros-restaurant-lecce-we-eat-at-the-worst-michelin-starred-restaurant-ever/

lol I read that yesterday and was howling. the pictures were the best

https://www.pellegrinobrothers.it/en/product/limoniamo-floriano/

omg the lips are going to haunt my memory. one of the creepiest dishes

The meal sounds terrible, but a couple observations:

1. Why would you go to Italy and eat in a restaurant like this?
2. Going to a tasting menu in a foreign country and asking for a bunch of changes to accommodate your dietary restrictions is something, for sure.
3. They should have served that dude's hair as a course.

1. For the clicks
2. Quite.
3. Coulda fooled me that they didn’t

Smiled at seeing the Snoqualmie Lodge called out in the Bros article's comments. Haven't ever been there for dinner, but thought the pampering spa/hotel environment, adjacent Snoqualmie Falls, Twin Peaks association, and the pancake breakfasts are the main draw. One of the Trip Advisor reviews gives it one star for "filet minion" left unfinished, lol.

Best food writing 2021 for sure. I guess this is what happens when one of these baby Alineas hits the COVID skids?

Chef responds in very on-brand way:

EVERYONE, THE CHEF FROM BROS REPLIED TO MY REVIEW AND IT IS JUST AS RIDICULOUS AS YOU WOULD HAVE HOPED AND I AM SCREAMING WITH JOY.https://t.co/XHzrUhS7Gz

— Geraldine (@everywhereist) December 10, 2021

Foam is so '00s, even the places that used to do it have toned it down.

Also, the Michelin guide sucks bad.

wasn't Michelin-rated, but nothing made me laugh more than the time Gordon Ramsey on the UK version of Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares, went to this restaurant that had won local awards and was exasperated by the shitty dishes concocted (including salmon and strawberries).

Also, savory ice creams have been all over modernist menus for 20 years. Get with the program.

what about ice cream that smells like belly button lint

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67ztQia3PLQ

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/307576254_194641756291378_7181532573802643797_n.jpg?stp=cp6_dst-jpg&_nc_cat=101&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=h6SXLqVDe6cAX_z4X3T&_nc_ht=scontent-sjc3-1.xx&oh=00_AT9LmB76X-81zp7ERnYt2d8ZO9c10Iozmqn71jiCaz_XIA&oe=63312C1B

Rachael Ray is a colony of throat polyps that has grown a vestigial human around itself and has decided not to have it removed.

― Unclean, Unshaven (WilliamC), Monday, January 7, 2013 4:46 PM bookmarkflaglink