Rolling "religious products that kind of seem like a bad idea" thread.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2595/4503389878_a4c8cf5a55.jpg

was hoping the first would be phallic

Baby Jesus Butt Plug to thread

"It's THIS long."

if I wasn't at work I would link the site that features the Baby Jesus Butt Plug, so be glad I'm at work

I saw a lot of Easter basket chocolate crosses for sale this year, including a marshmallow filled one. I was brought up to be so fearful of iconography that I make your average Calvinist look like he's tricked out the popemobile, but something seems kinda fucked up about eating a symbol of Christ's agony. Especially when you cheap out the goods so much that you can't even legally call it chocolate anymore:

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/localnews/content/shared-blogs/palmbeach/cerabino/media/christiandollarstore_1890_334410.jpg

oh man before i opened that link i was really really hoping to see a lil chocolate jesus on the crosses but oh well.

me too ;_;

I found a keychain at a Christian bookstore once with "His word is living and active" etched on the back and the yellow "radioactive fallout" symbol on the other side.

http://z.about.com/d/chemistry/1/0/P/d/radioactive.jpg
hebrews 4:12

this also seems like a bad idea bordering on painfully ironic:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_lpiDRDaH-mU/Rg3gj5B5zYI/AAAAAAAAAis/MWdsI03YbCo/s400/ChocolateJesus.jpg

Eat of his body!

Chocolicious communion!

also holy hell, I found a chocolate Jesus on a stick

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_lpiDRDaH-mU/Rg3gUZB5zXI/AAAAAAAAAik/nP2S1Yulfwo/s1600-h/ale_porter_chocolate_2_350x470.jpg

http://image.orientaltrading.com/otcimg/36_1304b.jpg?resize(500x500)

"Plush Long Arm Religious Gorillas. These colorful jungle apes love to monkey around! Hang these fun toys anywhere for an inspirational expression of faith!"

http://image.orientaltrading.com/otcimg/36_140.jpg?resize(500x500)

" 'Catch The Spirit' Flying Stars. Catch the spirit with these foam flying stars! Each 5-pointed burst has a cross at it's center for a “heavenly” design! These 6" colorful frisbees go great in goody bags at VBS and church camp! Give 'em a spin at your next faith-based backyard party!"

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_rAHceHSwBdM/SvDzSDvqxqI/AAAAAAAAANQ/QFmzS7s5Luc/s400/230.JPG

okay this isn't even trying

http://image.orientaltrading.com/otcimg/25_5835.jpg?resize(500x500)

http://www.beacarlton.com/books/christianpuppets.jpg

yea and the great value of proofreaders and title review shines forth like the beams of the sun

wait, I can?????????????????????????????????????????

brb

This review for Oriental Trading's 'Child Crown of Thorns' is incredible:

"I too was first dissapointed when we took the crown out of the package. Instead of the crown being in its promised, round shape, it was more of an oval. We called our pastor and he suggested that we manually reshape the crown into a round shape. That did the trick! Thank you Jesus! The kids played "dying Jesus" all day. One suggestion, if you have more than one child buy a crown for each; they were ready to crucify each other for a chance to wear the crown!"

http://www.realarmorofgod.com/store/html/Products/Christian-Items/Christian-Swords/index.html

jesus. christ.

One suggestion, if you have more than one child buy a crown for each; they were ready to crucify each other for a chance to wear the crown!"

-- Review by: Herman & Ethel Lipschitz, Brooklyn, NY

Finally a Bible with all the gender essentialism children crave

Faithgirlz™ Bible. Let your Faithgirlz™ sparkle! This softcover Bible has been colored in soft purples and greens and filled with all sorts of great information and stories to help girls ages 8 to 12 understand the Bible's many characters, ideas and themes to develop inner beauty and outward faith. Inside its 1486 pages girls will "use their imagination to put themselves in the story, take quizzes to really get to know themselves, see what they have in common with women from iconic Bible stories, gain the confidence to share what they are learning with a friend, be honest with God through guided journaling space and find answers to Bible questions they’ve wondered about."

My mother used to want me to work for Zondervan; I decided there were nicer ways to commit suicide and promptly took up chain-smoking.

Laurel, you are so great.

To be totally totally fair to her, she's not a complete religious nutjob*, she just didn't want me to move to NYC, and was trying to convince me to work in publishing closer to home.

*Actually by some standards I guess she is, but in the nicest possible way.

One of my patients (teenage, female, Latina) owns a Princess Bible. It's just like any other gift Bible--small, hardcover, has a strap and buckle on it to keep it closed--but it's all pink and purple and sparkly.