50 Ways to Stalk Your Lover

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1. Google alert, Burt

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 05:53 (fifteen years ago)

2. follow em in the van, stan

con-ni (rahni), Thursday, 29 April 2010 05:55 (fifteen years ago)

3. Become a fast texter, Dexter

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 05:56 (fifteen years ago)

4. telephoto lens, sven

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Thursday, 29 April 2010 05:56 (fifteen years ago)

5. Get on the phone, Ramone

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 05:57 (fifteen years ago)

6. fake im as a boy, roy

con-ni (rahni), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:11 (fifteen years ago)

7. Wait in the bushes outside their work, jerk

ksh, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:13 (fifteen years ago)

8. Whois their IP, Lee

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:19 (fifteen years ago)

9. keystroke recordin', gordon

max, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:22 (fifteen years ago)

10. message board sock, rock

ways t'burg (electricsound), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:23 (fifteen years ago)

11. foursquare, jer

Lamp, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:24 (fifteen years ago)

12 show up outside their job, rob

Lamp, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:25 (fifteen years ago)

13. leave long threatening messages on their voicemail, abigail

Lamp, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:26 (fifteen years ago)

14. Add them on AIM, Duane

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:27 (fifteen years ago)

steal their mail, gail

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:28 (fifteen years ago)

15.

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:28 (fifteen years ago)

16. @ them on Tweetie, sweetie

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:29 (fifteen years ago)

17. research former and current places of work, curt

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:29 (fifteen years ago)

18. .xls, Jess

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:32 (fifteen years ago)

19. flirt with the homely girl in the registrar's office until she agrees to give u a copy of their timetable, mable

Lamp, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:32 (fifteen years ago)

20. facebook feed, steve

Lamp, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:32 (fifteen years ago)

go through their trash, ash

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:33 (fifteen years ago)

21.

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:33 (fifteen years ago)

Hack their mac, zach

βΠψ (bnw), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:36 (fifteen years ago)

22.

23. Slip them a roofie, Lucy

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:36 (fifteen years ago)

24 activate their gps, tess

Lamp, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:38 (fifteen years ago)

24. Add them as a friend, Jen

sandwich-american (Clay), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:39 (fifteen years ago)

25.

sandwich-american (Clay), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:39 (fifteen years ago)

26. RSS feed, Reed

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:39 (fifteen years ago)

27. bookmark their livejournal, myrtle

sandwich-american (Clay), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:40 (fifteen years ago)

28. four square, mon frere

βΠψ (bnw), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:41 (fifteen years ago)

29. Burn your name on their lawn, Shaun

Sub/Doms Whipping Here (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:42 (fifteen years ago)

Find them in your dreams, Ralph

AlanSmithee, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:42 (fifteen years ago)

31. secretly make duplicates of their keys, louise

Lamp, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:43 (fifteen years ago)

32. Make soup out of their bunny, Sonny

Sub/Doms Whipping Here (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:43 (fifteen years ago)

33. Build them a shrine, Einstein

Mordy, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:44 (fifteen years ago)

34. Make them a hair doll, Paul

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:44 (fifteen years ago)

34. steal their cell phone bill, phil

Lamp, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:45 (fifteen years ago)

35. Cut the brakes on their car, Ma

Sub/Doms Whipping Here (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:45 (fifteen years ago)

36. Follow their kids home from school, Raoul

Sub/Doms Whipping Here (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:46 (fifteen years ago)

37. Reverse phone lookup, Chuck

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:46 (fifteen years ago)

38. break into their house and watch them as they sleep, monique

Lamp, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:46 (fifteen years ago)

39. Register them as a domain, Shane

felicity, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:47 (fifteen years ago)

40. Beat the shit out of any new partner they might meet, Pete

Sub/Doms Whipping Here (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:48 (fifteen years ago)

41. Just sit there are stare, Cher

sandwich-american (Clay), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:49 (fifteen years ago)

42. Send flowers every day, Ray

Sub/Doms Whipping Here (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:50 (fifteen years ago)

43. Bake them a poisoned cake, Jake

Mordy, Thursday, 29 April 2010 06:55 (fifteen years ago)

44. keep checkin their Facebook, Nanook

sleepingbag, Thursday, 29 April 2010 07:14 (fifteen years ago)

45. chloroform rag, brad

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Thursday, 29 April 2010 07:36 (fifteen years ago)

46. hidden camera in their bathrorom, sassoon

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Thursday, 29 April 2010 07:36 (fifteen years ago)

96. Bookmark ILTMI, Nathan

picture me needing a bonghit I said never (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 29 April 2010 11:15 (fifteen years ago)

97. Hack personal files, Giles

just darraghmac tbh (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 April 2010 11:20 (fifteen years ago)

98. Follow 'em on Twitter, Glitter

the big pink suede panda bear hurts (ledge), Thursday, 29 April 2010 11:22 (fifteen years ago)

99. Break into their home and install a hi-tech surveillance system, Tristan

just darraghmac tbh (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 April 2010 11:24 (fifteen years ago)

100. divert their sewage into a specimen jar, Pilar

ampersand (remy bean), Thursday, 29 April 2010 12:12 (fifteen years ago)

101. Give 'em Munchhausen by proxy, Roxy

ampersand (remy bean), Thursday, 29 April 2010 12:13 (fifteen years ago)

102. Slip 'er a roofie then pull 'er, Buckminster Fuller

Daily Sport Stunna Yasmin Alibhai Brown (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 April 2010 12:39 (fifteen years ago)

steal their mail, gail

suggest ban, dan

brad whitford's guitar explorations (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Thursday, 29 April 2010 12:59 (fifteen years ago)

103. Rifle through their trash, Nobel laureate John Nash

Daily Sport Stunna Yasmin Alibhai Brown (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 29 April 2010 13:01 (fifteen years ago)

xp how'd you know my name is dan, you been stealin my mail, gail ;_;

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Thursday, 29 April 2010 13:07 (fifteen years ago)

Add comment to their blog, P-Dog

bham, Thursday, 29 April 2010 15:00 (fifteen years ago)

break their locks using hands that are gloved, underrated aerosmith albums i have loved

estela, Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:38 (fifteen years ago)

104.

i actually came here to post 'rifle through their trash can, garu g's gran' and then i saw noodle vague @ 103 and went !!! to myself.

estela, Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:42 (fifteen years ago)

make their lives a living hell,e stela

brad whitford's impotent rage (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:44 (fifteen years ago)

harass her new fella, estela

just darraghmac tbh (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:44 (fifteen years ago)

goddamnit

just darraghmac tbh (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:44 (fifteen years ago)

(if you are attempting one for me, the 'h' is silent btw, ehtnic names are hard)

just darraghmac tbh (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:48 (fifteen years ago)

what's that? you weren't?

oh.

just darraghmac tbh (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:49 (fifteen years ago)

just darraghmac tbh, wallace and gromit

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:50 (fifteen years ago)

sneak around their house carrying items from a hardware store in a sack, darraghmac

estela, Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:51 (fifteen years ago)

pass

just darraghmac tbh (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:52 (fifteen years ago)

cut out her silhouette in old pictures with a dagger, acoleuthic

just darraghmac tbh (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:53 (fifteen years ago)

make a ytmnd about them and proceed to googlebomb, dom

brad whitford's impotent rage (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:54 (fifteen years ago)

'dagger' goes equally well w/ yr prenom xp

sausage s4rgent (acoleuthic), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:55 (fifteen years ago)

even though she's single & has no kids, buy her a personally engraved "world's greatest mom" plaque, darraghmac

brad whitford's impotent rage (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:56 (fifteen years ago)

sneak in their house and install a toilet cam, Sam

biologically wrong (Z S), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:57 (fifteen years ago)

u think dagger rhymes with my first name? hmm.

just darraghmac tbh (darraghmac), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:58 (fifteen years ago)

Check the cam every night and record the changes in their pubes, "Boobs" McJenson

biologically wrong (Z S), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:58 (fifteen years ago)

it doesn't so much rhyme (altho the final sound does which is minimum req'ment for rhyme) as fit snugly alongside

sausage s4rgent (acoleuthic), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:58 (fifteen years ago)

lj you have spent too much time with modern poets & their nonsense theories of rhyme recently I think

brad whitford's impotent rage (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Thursday, 29 April 2010 23:59 (fifteen years ago)

access their webpage and get a 404 server error, acoleuthic

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:02 (fifteen years ago)

fuck if this is going into viking territory i'm out

sausage s4rgent (acoleuthic), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:02 (fifteen years ago)

flash her while she's biking, viking

sausage s4rgent (acoleuthic), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:03 (fifteen years ago)

mail a dead maggot, ned raggett

ampersand (remy bean), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:12 (fifteen years ago)

Hide under the stalkee's bed, Erik the Red

biologically wrong (Z S), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:16 (fifteen years ago)

Get a pinpoint measurement of her bust from her tailor, Norse sailor

biologically wrong (Z S), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:17 (fifteen years ago)

Lurk in her larder, Harold Hardrada

sausage s4rgent (acoleuthic), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:18 (fifteen years ago)

Stick a creepy post-it note in her hamburger bun, Leif Eriksson

biologically wrong (Z S), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:18 (fifteen years ago)

give her a personalized yellow card, sarge

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:33 (fifteen years ago)

talk to her about miracles, wicked clown

brad whitford's impotent rage (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:47 (fifteen years ago)

^^ actually a line from a long lost coleridge poem

I Think Ur a Viking (dyao), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:48 (fifteen years ago)

Obtain her panties and sniff'em, Jim

biologically wrong (Z S), Friday, 30 April 2010 00:50 (fifteen years ago)

send her a note written in pig's blood by fedex, z s

estela, Friday, 30 April 2010 00:55 (fifteen years ago)

Send their new partner laxative laced candy, Andy

Check this, in fact. How exciting. He literally cuts the mustard. (snoball), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:07 (fifteen years ago)

Get a list of their telephone calls, snoball

Check this, in fact. How exciting. He literally cuts the mustard. (snoball), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:10 (fifteen years ago)

Put a bunch of melodic rock songs on her mp3 player, Geir

Daily Sport Stunna Yasmin Alibhai Brown (Noodle Vague), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:12 (fifteen years ago)

Hang outside their house for days, Noodle Vague

Check this, in fact. How exciting. He literally cuts the mustard. (snoball), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:16 (fifteen years ago)

Kick their new man in the nads, Brad

Check this, in fact. How exciting. He literally cuts the mustard. (snoball), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:17 (fifteen years ago)

Shoot a tranquiliser dart in their ass, Tuomas

Check this, in fact. How exciting. He literally cuts the mustard. (snoball), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:20 (fifteen years ago)

Totally ruin your ex's wedding day, LJ

Check this, in fact. How exciting. He literally cuts the mustard. (snoball), Friday, 30 April 2010 07:21 (fifteen years ago)


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