Jermaine Beckford's Bogus Journey: Football off-season thread 2010/11

google translate says lasprovincias.eu says:

The Valencia has confirmed to the 22 hours that the Barcelona has closed permanently and the signing of Villa for 42 million euros.

The talks were launched at the same time they finished the league and have already been closed for tarata to avoid the 'soap opera' last year and that everything is clear before the tournament.

Barcelona president Joan Laporta will soon end its mandate and its intention is closed off with a few signings before the new president takes office culé entity. Laporta has not hesitated to declare on Tuesday that "negotiations with the Valencia Villa, is in the absence of details to close" .

Fernando Gomez, manager, had said previously unaware of the negotiations , but had modified that''these things''and the president has recognized that Valencia does not rule out more exits .

The Spaniard had been the number one goal for Barca last season, but the management chaos that was engulfing the Valencia and the fact that Eto'o just accept to go to Inter carom that led to the Swedish, the second or third list ("Rooney?), ends up in the Camp Nou.

The arrival of Villa would fit in with the farewell of Henry, apagadísimo this campaign, which was suspected of caring for the World

"suspected of caring for the World" - i too have suffered this calumny :(

co-sign this thread title btw, gotta be better than the stale north london "banter" we'd have otherwise had

Needed to be called Jerlolmaine Becklolford's Boglolus Jlolourney for no reason at all, really.

amend my co-sign, what he said ^

QPR appear to have purchased Jamie Mackie off nasty Argyle.

There. An actual transfer. Some suggestion that Plymouth are in bad financial trouble and administration may be looming, but we'll see about that.

keep yr lower league mickey mouse transfer talk, tbh.

i love football will have room for all of this and more

B-b-but Jermaine Beckford...?

yeah how is i love gobshites coming along darragh? big unveiling must be any day now.

xp, do you rate him tim? (i'm sort of numb to analysing whatever rangers get up to off the pitch these days.) argyle fans seem to have him in the acephalous poultry bracket and are happy to have got rid.

ilg will be a triumph, a triumph i tell you

He was really good for us for about fifteen games in the Conference. I get the impression he's not too bright, but he's quick and he runs and runs and runs and runs and keeps going and going and going and it's always helpful to have one of those in yr team, even when he's not terribly clinical. I'm not terribly shocked to see him being a Warnock player.

Truthfully, I'm most interested in the sell-on clause in his contract.

Ibrahimovic- will Barca need to pay him to leave?

Who sanctioned that deal, anyway?

Unless it's to Man City, the only other club that will pay those wages.

rumors that spurs will sign arda turan from galatasaray with dos santos going the other way. do they need a left winger, ie do people still think that gareth bale will be better as a left back?

The arrival of Villa would fit in with the farewell of Henry, apagadísimo this campaign, which was suspected of caring for the World

http://real.theoffside.com/files/2009/06/1155446493_coming_to_america.jpg

Honestly, Mackie will be a massive improvement over the various on-loan nobodies who've been upfront for the Rs these past few months. Tamas Priskin, the big man who can't head, or play with his back to goal. Marcus Bent, who couldn't even get a game. Jay Simpson at least got goals - but they dried up when Warnock arrived.

i should have more of an idea of arda turan's position, but can someone fill me in?

i think we're all resigned to the idea of bale as first choice left midfielder. what a loss he'll be to the left back trade.

Ibrahimovic will stay, Villa will play left wing. at least that's what Mino Raiola says... honestly though, Ibrahimovic will only leave if he wants to and i can't see him bailing out already because of this

that doesn't mean i'm settling for ekotto, btw!

i saw an interview with harry where he said he thought bale would end up as a left back, though.

arda is a left winger

not sure about that, to be honest.

i still hold out some kind of hope for dos santos, but then i still hold out some kind of hope for taraabt too

Loving Rafa's "I always buy British" statement.

surely i've ranted about that elsewhere today?

maybe it was on email :)

He is on record as having bought somethingsomething Glen Johnson mierda defensa somethingsomething Glen Johnson no impedir somethingsomething Glen Johnson espectador for £18m

yeah spending your entire budget in one year on the only england international you can find isn't the same thing as actually building a british team (which is a load of awld ballocks anyway)

There was Crouchie, who he let go, and Jermaine Pennant, who likes paella.

+ Bellamy, also gone

Scott Carson...

He almost bought Garry Barry.

Wanted to buy Walcott and Ramsey. H'apparently.

Villa turning down £20m for Milner, eh?

― Ismael Klata, Thursday, May 20, 2010 11:04 AM (2 minutes ago)

We already did this in another thread.

My understanding of the Lescott transfer is that City kept making offers, Moyes kept growling "fuck off he's not for sale", and then when Lescott put in a transfer request and started phoning it in they reluctantly cashed in for ahahah £24 million, right?

If it's true that Milner's not actually fussed about a move and will leave it up to O'Neill we might actually see the full extent of how much mental money City are prepared to throw around if they really want someone.

^ yeah

milner's happy enough at villa, in the england team and all that- wouldn't be surprised to see this head north of 30m with ease.

Moyes was a prick over the Lescott transfer, though- worse, he didn't play it smart at all. P Neville's performances in the two games when Lescott 'phoned it in' were much more cause for concern.

Fascinated by the prospect of City accidentally creating a legion of mini-Cities by giving absurd amounts of of money away for quite good players.

trickle down effect works, right wing england rejoices

http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m3/feb2008/0/9/50F8BA98-03A9-62F3-F77EDCF05A3C1597.jpg

Milner might be thinking it's sensible to hold tight and hope than Man United or Chelsea come calling. He's an intelligent, relatively grounded footballer, not a fuckwit like Lescott.

Don't think Lescott had a bad rep until that last year?

As in, let's hold our breath and see.

Rafa's now saying he made a mistake by winning too many trophies in his first couple of years at English football when in reality it takes a few years to acclimatise, which is presumably why he's now rubbish after nearly six years in England.

Yeah, I saw that - every day, a new high watermark for talking bollocks

can't fault the boy's logic

Sometimes I wonder if there's a little truth in that, and sometimes I'd be inclined to wonder whether or not his increasing control over recruitment, transfers, youth development etc are finally bearing fruit.

Rodwell is the one that everybody wants.

Why am I paying £60 to go to Blackpool v Cardiff on Saturday by the way?

For a fight?

Can't tell you how much I want Blackpool to win that by the way. Ian Holloway in the Premiership vs Peter Ridsdale's army of cuddly Welsh thugs in the Premiership. The latter might provide some amusing terrace banter, I suppose.

football withdrawal kicking in reeeeal early?

Dave Jones, wouldn't mind seeing him in the PL, but yeah Holloway all the way

wait isn't 451 the new 442?

WE NEED A NEW 451

4-4-2 is the new 4-5-1, obviously

4-2-3-1

4-2-3-1 is the new 4-4-2 imo

4-2-3-1 is 451, cmon

3-5-2 <-- slept on formation imo

Something about 3-5-2 rubs me up the wrong way a bit

gary neville could've been your cafu if yed stuick with it after euro 96 imo

more snafu than cafu amirite?

it's a zing on a whole new neville

ps s fletcher to knock in at least 12 league goals this season imo

So now that City has bought Balotelli for 24m, how much does that mean they've spent this summer? Over 100 million? And more if Milner etc?

also i lvoe how this move leaves it wide open for him to wear another better-supported cross-city rival-team shirt in a photograph. balotelli in a rooney kit please become a reality!!!

city have and are, not has and is. bloody commies. also no one scores "on" teams either.

I like how you still think that sports teams aren't singular, monolithic evils. Is that a British thing? It's ADORABLE!

also i lvoe how this move leaves it wide open for him to wear another better-supported cross-city rival-team shirt in a photograph. balotelli in a rooney kit please become a reality!!!

― the depressed-saggy-japanese-salaryman of ilx posters (Will M.), Friday, 13 August 2010 18:40 (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Guy has already walked around Milan in an AC shirt - I'm sure he'll think of something more orginal than carlos tevez mk. 2ish this time.

I don't think he needs to innovate on a classic imo

It's Balotelli and he's coming in the wake of Cassano dude... yeah he needs to be innovative.

He's got Adebayor to top as well - maybe hammer in an o.g. and then offer his own fans outside would do it?

or wear dirty trainers into the dressing room

Maybe a Tampa Bay Buccaneers jersey, to make it all the more subtle but also more diabolical -- imprint that he's a Glazer man. Maybe he can wear a Pennzoil hat or something.

he could always get familiar with Wayne Bridge's new flame

who do you support will m.?

KC Wizards signed Omar Bravo from Chivas de Guadalajara, then immediately loaned him back to that team for a year.

Can anyone enlighten me if this sort of arrangement is at all common or if it has ever happened before? Seems very weird.

happens quite often, especially in italian football. chris smalling poss the highest profile player for this to happen with last season.

usually happens with young kids, isn't bravo like 35?

Huh, I had no idea. Thx.

xp Wikipedia says 30

goodbye james beattie

that said - fuller/kenwyne has the potential to be fucking immense on their day.

Beattie is dead to me now. Loved that guy. He only had eight goals to go to his century - he could've gone to Blackpool, then got the other half with Forest next season.

o no, that scarf
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/08/13/article-1302873-0AC9DB2F000005DC-164_468x322.jpg

looooooooooooooooool

What's a holding statement? LFC are expected to make one imminently regarding ownership.

hahaha

xp, that was

no bids for Liverpool - holding statement probably means extending the deadline and/or entering into dialogue with parties who've expressed an interest

Plz use that image for the new thread starter.

OK I'll bite. What's funny about the scarf? The jacket is much worse imo.

/american

he looks like a skeleton

1. If you cannot tell what is funny about the scarf as a symbol of devotion to a club no-one in Manchester let alone anywhere else cares about, then maybe the Premiership is not for you.

2. That jacket is naglol.

3. Drawing attention to your sticky out ears with ridiculous diamonds makes me thinking a game away at Stoke on the cliché cold November night is going to end in a way Mario did not expect.

4. Is his barber blind or just cruel?

5. Garry Cook seems to hate being near black people.

a club no-one in Manchester let alone anywhere else cares about

This wd be world class trolling if we had any Citeh fans on board

AHEM. I know I'm the only one and I don't count for much, but still A-fucking-HEM.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_city/8910570.stm

Roberto's hair. :( He's gone from dashing sophisticate to Owen Coyle with a tiny bit of nip and tuck.

now someone start the new thread FFS.

We still need a title. 'The Curious Case of Mario Balotelli' would be a solid catch-all for basically anything that happens this season, but frankly we can do better. I think everyone's waiting for Matt to weigh in and settle it.

Only thirteen hours to go.

kevin and jérôme go boateng

whatever, brits, i'm just skylarking over here (no swindon town)

'The Curious Case of Mario Balotelli'

save it for the champions league thread title, as an upgrade to gazza bazza

Oops sorry Matt.

Anyway I am fond of "Bob Bradley Thinks He's Moving to Alabama" but I guess that will be premature come kick off today.

Also I'm a bit concerned that we haven't dumped Andy Keogh at a countryside lay-by yet. Fuck holding out for money tbh.

Also

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/angrycustomer.jpg

I am preparing by watching Soccer Saturday clips on YouTube.

Err, sorry guys, if you were waiting on me you didn't pick a great time to do it, bad personal shit has kept me away from the internet. Anyway:

NAMING RIGHTS THREAD: Liverpool really won't win the Premiership 2010-2011

Clever title to be added at a later date. I am quite fond of "Ian Holloway needs more tiki-taka" but that might get a bit old come next May.

Sorry to hear about that Matt, hope things are better soon.

Thread title is kinda fine.