The Human LOLipede: First EXCELSIOR

it was either this or a "that's where I'm a viking!" reference

nah that's shit

fuck this title man

Sometimes I wonder what gershy's been up to. Dude was always like "Revive!"

― ljagljana (kkvgz), 18 May 2010 20:39 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

maybe he'll come back from the dead someday ; )

― Guns, Computer, The Internet (harbl), 18 May 2010 20:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

So full of life...

― ljagljana (kkvgz), 18 May 2010 20:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

gershy clings to ILX tenaciously, like velcro

― coalition to me (acoleuthic), 18 May 2010 20:41 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

velkro?

― bee en u_u (bnw), 18 May 2010 21:42 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fuck this title man

― show me your buccina (ken c), Wednesday, 19 May 2010 14:46 (12 seconds ago) Bookmark

Missed opportunity with the picture of the old woman with a vagina in the middle of her head that she is pooping out of. Why will no one name a thread after her?

we've had threads about garu g's nan

I'm sorry, missed opportunity with the what?

I was gonna mention marissa marchant but I don't know the full history

Missed opportunity with the picture of the old woman with a vagina in the middle of her head that she is pooping out of. Why will no one name a thread after her?

― Eighteen straight. I think that's a record. (kenan), Wednesday, May 19, 2010 9:47 AM (52 seconds ago) Bookmark

WAHT? Wait, nm. I don't actually think I want to know.

lol x-post

"oh you know, that old picture everyone knows of the old woman pooping our of her face vagina"

If you continue to mock me, I will post the picture.

you don't under stand, old woman pooping out of her face vagina is the name of my dog!

(apologies to dj mencap)

It's actually a horn, but it's funny cos it looks like a poop.

oh, well that makes sense

(?????????????????)

"an auxiliary asshole in the centre of her forehead like a baleful bronze eye"

Still beats a baleful regular asshole, I guess.

Dan go back and look at the old excelsior thread if you really want to see it. It's an old lady with a rather unfortunate looking (as if there are any other kind) cutaneous horn sprouting out the middle of her forehead.

wait. daniel sturridge went to chelsea????

omg daniel sturridge went to chelsea u guys

I don't want to go to Chelsea.

thread delivers

wait did we do that kenan/lj sequence before or am i dj viewing

Human ILXorpede

There is a problem in that each time the joke is passed on, it becomes less nutritious and potentially quite toxic.

Question: who is the Dieter Laser of ILX?

Sometimes I wonder what gershy's been up to. Dude was always like "Revive!"

― ljagljana (kkvgz), 18 May 2010 20:39 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

maybe he'll come back from the dead someday ; )

― Guns, Computer, The Internet (harbl), 18 May 2010 20:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

So full of life...

― ljagljana (kkvgz), 18 May 2010 20:40 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

gershy clings to ILX tenaciously, like velcro

― coalition to me (acoleuthic), 18 May 2010 20:41 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

velkro?

― bee en u_u (bnw), 18 May 2010 21:42 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

-_-

hahahaha

rofl at 'velkro'

revive

Question: who is the Dieter Laser of ILX?

I believe morbz is our resident mad scientist

Question #2: If you had to be the middle segment in an ILX centipede, whose poop would you want to be eating & who would you want to have to eat your poop?

a) me
b) you

"oh you know, that old picture everyone knows of the old woman pooping our of her face vagina"

― Have a slice of wine! (HI DERE), Wednesday, May 19, 2010 1:50 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thanking u

u can't eat ur own poop duh

xp

If I had to pick the human in front of me in the ILX centipede it would probably have to be one of the hardcore nutrition nazis who probably only poop one tiny compressed owl pellet made up of kale and protein supplements every day.

Xpost I beg to differ, the centipede can contort in strange ways

yeah but you'd have to hear them brag about it xp

I love joygoat's post.

u can't eat ur own poop duh

One more push and I reckon this lady could...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_JmpkIMgnzIE/SJR1XW5ZotI/AAAAAAAAJl0/uzHxqnhamDg/s400/1.jpg

i'd love to see the firemand that could get that cat out in one piece

okay no

That is actually a GIS result for the search "HUMAN UNICORN"

HUMAN POOPICORN

wait so that's a picture of joanna newsom?

May 19, 2010, will go down as the dark, dark day that ILX introduced me to the concept of the pooping face vagina

After the woman had that removed, she could have had it made into a walking stick handle.

i'll take the blue pill

xp see, i actually knew that.

Regardless, the aesthetics of that photo are pretty dire. They seem to be trying to find a way between Mad Men early 60's chic and the early eighties with it's drab tans and it's wacky teals and whatnot. The posing is subpar, the jewels ludicrous, the decollete jejeune and the hat risible. Pretty eyes, though she looks like a deer in headlights.

^ most elegant 'ws' so far

haa

Regardless, the aesthetics of that photo are pretty dire. They seem to be trying to find a way between Mad Men early 60's chic and the early eighties with it's drab tans and it's wacky teals and whatnot. The posing is subpar, the jewels ludicrous, the decollete jejeune and the hat risible. Pretty eyes, though she looks like a deer in headlights.

― Un peu d'Eire, ça fait toujours Dublin (Michael White), Thursday, September 16, 2010 4:28 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^ most elegant 'ws' so far

― illiterate mods are killing ilx (darraghmac), Thursday, September 16, 2010 4:31 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

http://www.uroclub.com

― HOOS' THE BOSS (ken c), Thursday, 16 September 2010 16:49 (58 minutes ago)

In case anyone doesn't want to click on a link for a site called "uroclub", it's a portable urinal disguised as a golf club.

lol

woman is the ninja of the world

― tangelo amour (elmo argonaut), Thursday, September 16, 2010 5:56 PM (8 seconds ago) Bookmark

she also apparently doesn't believe in carbon dating

― caek, Wednesday, September 15, 2010 11:04 PM (Yesterday)

she's in favour of it, as i understand it, but not unsupervised, absolutely no carnal knowledge allowed and preferably with a view towards marriage

― illiterate mods are killing ilx (darraghmac), Thursday, September 16, 2010 9:23 AM (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

when the offending line comes up on the screen, pretend to have suddenly contracted amnesia - stammer a little (here "one more wid...one more widow...one...") and then look imploringly into the crowd, making occasional eye contact with strangers and asking the crowd as a whole "where am I? who are you people?" loudly over the backing track. look confusedly at the screen for a while. before the song ends, drop the microphone onto the floor and wander out of bar into street.

― aerosmith: live at gunpoint (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Thursday, 16 September 2010 17:52 (59 minutes ago)

(from karaoke and "n" word thread)

Attention ILX:

The mouthpiece called banaka has been retired. The unit was compromised by prior defects which were appallingly ignored by our candidate selection process. We have since eliminated this unit and replaced it with a better one. We have also improved our recruiting protocols, and eliminated the units involved in allowing this mistake.

We will be utilizing the unit's former screen name for reasons of "brand-name" recognition. However, rest assured that this new mouthpiece is 99.9876% improved over the former unit. We will adhere to our stated goals and not stray from the hardline.

― banaka, Friday, 17 September 2010 08:29

tell us a joke

― sleepingbag, Friday, 17 September 2010 08:32

"free will"

― banaka, Friday, 17 September 2010 08:33

hahahahaha amazing

Srsly wondering if banaka is momus tbqh

oh damn

no - jokes about banning (momus takes banning too seriously to joke about it), can distinguish between zen arcade & metal circus. banaka is an american imo

also not enough references to saussure

can distinguish between zen arcade & metal circus

omg dying here.

my favourite aerosmith fan is killing it all over this site the past day or two

well i mean i say the past day or two, but i mean y'know especially so

aero if it transpires that banaka is a sock of yrs i'll be seriously disappointed

― illiterate mods are killing ilx (darraghmac), Friday, September 17, 2010 3:31 AM (9 hours ago)

d-mac I don't sock I am barefootin all day

― aerosmith: live at gunpoint (underrated aerosmith albums I have loved), Friday, September 17, 2010 3:38 AM (9 hours ago)

fkn hippies

― illiterate mods are killing ilx (darraghmac), Friday, September 17, 2010 3:39 AM (9 hours ago)

i just thought that though lateralization of the brain is a real thing, the pop science version where there are right-brained people and left-brained people is a vast oversimplification of how the brain actually works? like, basically everyone's right and left brain work together for the kinds of thinking that are associated with one hemisphere. i am not a neuroscientist, though, so maybe i'm wrong.

― horseshoe, Friday, September 17, 2010 4:28 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you're NOT a neuroscientist?

― Hymie in Galveston (admrl), Friday, September 17, 2010 4:29 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I Can Eat My Way Out of This Pickle: Plunging Into "Femivore" Success With The "Everything Old is New Again" New Canning and Preserving Trend

― Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Friday, September 17, 2010 3:42 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I give more money to the local police than I do to Democrats, as Democrats don't drive around my neighborhood fighting crime

― juggalo iglesias (HI DERE), Friday, September 17, 2010 5:43 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
that's why I give my money to Batman

― mavis bacon (crüt), Friday, September 17, 2010 5:44 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

harf

heyyyyy

http://i54.tinypic.com/wlssq0.jpg

Matt Sweeney (of Chavez, not fucking joking)
^^^

Dude is nuts. I came across a used copy of Current 93's The Inmost Light, signed/autographed from David Tibet to Matt Sweeney. Contacted the fella on Facebook about it, saying basically, hey, you want me to send you this album that is yours? He replied, "fuck that album i hate it."

― ilxor has truly been got at and become an ILXor (ilxor), Friday, September 17, 2010 9:19 PM (16 minutes ago)

turns out i'm related to a guy from current 93 who is also a leader of the crowley church

Christmas must be fun.

A friend of mine works with Douglas P quite often on radio in Adelaide. Why DOug P is in Adelaide i have NFI but eh.

hahaha I think everyone I have tried to play Current 93 for has reacted like Mr. Sweeney there.

The movie begins with Ramirez (a security guard and narrator throughout the movie) saying that, as a boy, he was told stories by his mother about the Devil's Meeting, which is when the Devil appears and tortures sinners before taking them to Hell, and that it would always start with suicide.

this is such a classic shyamalan thing - a made-up fable that makes no sense and doesn't remotely sound like a real legend

― the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, September 18, 2010 8:47 AM (1 hour ago)

the devil's meeting, where the devil would have a get-together with sinners before taking them to hell

― the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, September 18, 2010 8:48 AM (1 hour ago)

"the Devil's Meeting [...] would always start with suicide."

Absurd. Obviously it would start with a review of the minutes of the previous meeting.

― Neil Willett, Saturday, September 18, 2010 10:08 AM (14 minutes ago)

page five item two, note that where it says the bigamist was flayed it should change to say he was boiled.

― Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Saturday, September 18, 2010 10:13 AM (9 minutes ago)

that thread is great

can u imagine if faust had been all i want to sell u my soul and the devil had been all

*elevator drop*

― p.m.s.b. (pre-mall smoke bomb) (zorn_bond.mp3), Saturday, September 18, 2010 3:12 AM (8 hours ago)

why does every thread turn into a slash thread

― subtle like the g in 'goole' (dayo), Sunday, September 19, 2010 8:26 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

welcome to ILX

― juggalo iglesias (HI DERE), Sunday, September 19, 2010 8:31 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

take off your pants and jacket

― dayo, Sunday, September 19, 2010 8:32 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I am already without pants

― turn in yer badge (San Te), Sunday, September 19, 2010 8:33 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I would but, ironically, I am about to leave for church

― juggalo iglesias (HI DERE), Sunday, September 19, 2010 8:34 AM (2 hours ago)

(from THIS IS THE THREAD WHERE WE SUM UP ILX CLUSTERFUCK THREADS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THEM, NOW BACK TO ITS GRAND TRADITION OF "GUH?"., in the context of a whole meta thing about the ILX Religiosity and Spirituality and Agnosticity and Atheicity Poll thread)

What are people who don't know what they want out of life at 31?

― rhythm fixated member (chap), Sunday, September 19, 2010 11:27 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ilxors?

― former moderator, please give generously (DG), Sunday, September 19, 2010 11:29 AM (2 hours ago)

To get back on topic though, I think there's actually an outside chance that Barton's troubles might be behind him and he'll be able to stay on track and have a decent season.

― Rocky's Banter Cruise (Sgt. Biscuits), Sunday, 19 September 2010 21:02 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I'm not sure losing the 'tache was the right move in terms of his porn career tbh

― Mo Tucker Mo Problems (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 19 September 2010 21:05 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

if anything i think that his moustache having being shaved off has maybe acted as some kind of necessary catharsis

― illiterate mods are killing ilx (darraghmac), Sunday, 19 September 2010 21:06 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

reaching catharsis too early is also not good for yr porn career

― Mo Tucker Mo Problems (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 19 September 2010 21:07 (12 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

(from the Premier League thread)

well, it's ~supposed to be~ from that thread

kind of hilarious how many posts you guys have gone on for without realizing you're in the wrong thread

"without realizing"

lol

Oh Christ. OK, have duly suggest banned myself for that one.

lol okay some of us didn't realise

Ok if I start THIS IS THE THREAD WHERE WE SUM UP 'THIS IS THE THREAD WHERE WE SUM UP ILX CLUSTERFUCK THREADS' is that a yellow card or a straight ban?

This is boring. Can I put on my sex wellies and snap a riding crop at Louis again?

― Karen D. Tregaskin, Sunday, September 19, 2010 11:21 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

i couldn't understand this post any less

also ban kate

1)yeah that made my head hurt

@)otm

lol 2)

new thread time

THIS IS THE lol WHERE WE SUM UP ILX excelsiors SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THEM