Cockney Monkey Money

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Minder talk. - Here, Terry - that'll be a pony.

- Leave it out Arthur - it's a monkey!

Does anyone use these terms? And can anyone explain their precise meanings?

― the pinefox, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Pony = £25 Monkey = £100

Not that I speak like that or nuffink.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i only use pony to refer to things that are crap

or i use davel cockney rhyme - replace the ryhyming slang word with the actual word

ie trouble and wife

apples and stairs

very funny

― born clippy, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i do that too, but i probs got it from mark'n'lard. "would you adam and believe it" ect

― Alan Trewartha, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

oh bugger i've been saying my mate invented it for ages (i even take the credit myself at times) i dont listen to the radio so im not up to date with these things - i can always blame my subconscious i spose

― born clippy, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Winchester Club = Ally C's disco.

― PJ Miller, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But what about... elephant?

― the pinefox, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's a place in Southwark.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

elephant stone = dog and bone

― PJ Miller, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

nah uh - thats dog and phone

― born clippy, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought a monkey was £500.

I said we would miss N. Some attempted explanations of meanings here

As to usage, my youngest often asks me for an Ayrton before he goes out.

― David, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Apple and Stairs thing was something I did by accident, and people laughed at so I kind of carried it on to other rhyming slang. I hope I didn't subliminaly pick it up from Mark and Lard. But amongst the people I know I have kind of made it my own, so I suppose I could have taken the subliminal seed and grown it into somekind of comedy bush of my own.

― davel, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Let me clarify: elephant stone = scene outside generous butcher's shop.

― PJ Miller, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Apples and Stairs? for what?

― Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

stairs. that's the joke.

― Alan Trewartha, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This is obviously beyond us.

― PJ Miller, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Aha! So you would say "Apples and Pears" for "Stairs" because THAT is rhyming slang. But now you will say "Apples and Stairs" for "Stairs"!

Cool!

― Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

So...

Ayrton = £10

Pony = £25 - is that agreed?

Monkey = £100 or £500

Ton = £100

Grand = £1,000

Rhino = ??

― the pinefox, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

historians of the pluperfectly lame will note that in the GOODIES ANNUAL of 1971 or thereabouts, there was a rhyming slang gag viz, "apples and pairs = stairs, apples and flute = suit, apples and toad = road" DO YOU SEE!! ect ect

― mark s, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

apples and combat=wombat. apples and wombat=combat.

a monkey IS five hundred. a rhino is zero. or not anything.

― RJG, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I take it all back. Rhino = Rhinoceros = Sterling Moss = Dental floss

― PJ Miller, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A Rhino does mean something, as in 'So Terry chucked out the Rhino'.

― the pinefox, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"apples and combat=wombat" made me laugh out loud.

I think that as an East Ham man* I can clear up the meaning of rhino. It is short for rhinoceros, a large horned mammal quite common in these parts of London.

*Actually I'm from Bristol, but I do live here now.

― Martin Skidmore, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Rhyming slang is one of the most incomprehensible things I've ever come across.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

white rhino=right wino.

― RJG, Wednesday, 10 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Isn't there a 4WD vehicle called a Rhino? Perhaps Terry had been needed to throw out an irate customer from Arthur's car dealership. People who work with cars often refer to their owners by the name of the car.

― PJ Miller, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i think rhino is slag for cash or wad. as in "i knew my luck was out as soon as i got a bijou pile of rhino"

― Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

SLANG even (which is starry-speak for SLAN confusingly)

― Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

haha i hoped "slag" was cockney for "cockney" (as in "the folk who brought you 'you slag'") (it's metonymy you muppet)

― mark s, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I see somewhere saying rhino is just money. and somewhere else saying it is one hundred pounds. so. sounds fishy to me, though.

― RJG, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It seems plausible that Rhino = £100 and Monkey = £500.

― Ally C, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

rhinos are bigger. but I suppose some monkeys can work computers and stuff.

― RJG, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

>>> It seems plausible that Rhino = £100 and Monkey = £500.

Why???

― the pinefox, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

is it true that all those cock-er-nee words for denominations of money (monkey, etc) comes from the images used on large rupee notes. the soldiers returning from action in India brought back the slang with them. this is what I'm told.

― Alan Trewartha, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

sounds GOOD. some person said some people call a fiver a 'rocket' since it has george stephenson on one of its sides. I've never heard it though and wouldn't do it myself.

― RJG, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

don't forget that also in gangster slang that a grand can also be a large. So, ten large is infact ten thousand pounds.

― chris, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Thousand rupee note famously had a picture of a grand piano on it.

Also 'long' = £1000, no?

― Tim, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think you may be right Tim.

― chris, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the word "famously" is perspiring a wee bit there

― mark s, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My previous posting was in the style of P. Baran.

― Tim, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

this post is a lie

― man wiv beard, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

In that case, why don't cockneys call 1000 pounds a 'joanna'? Eh? EH?

― PJ Miller, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

PS: You learn something every day.

― PJ Miller, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't.

― Tim, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm trying to think of a witty response. I might have one by about teatime.

― PJ Miller, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I can wait.

― Tim, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not promising anything though.

― PJ Miller, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You've never let me down before.

Teatime your time or teatime my time?

― Tim, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Slang dictionary confirms Rhino = Money, Pony = £25 and Monkey = £500. Obviously a grand = £1000 : the rupee story is a touch apocryphal, though it looks like it might make sense a lot of these nicknames pre-date the Raj. I have have even seen a suggestion that the reason why there was a piano on a 1000 rupee note was because it was a grand.

This post is in the style of meself.

― Pete, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Lies! 'Meself' is soooo not yr style.

― RickyT, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Tim, I don't know if I have teatime anymore, so it will have to be your teatime. Teatimes will be resumed one week from today, albeit for a short period. Hooray!

― PJ Miller, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If by that you mean you'll be back in Blighty, why not visit us? We'd love to see you.

― Tim, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I second that.

― chris, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry M.E.Self - of Lewes, East Sussex.

― Pete, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Thirded!!

― Sarah, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You are all very kind. I can't make the big do on Saturday, we are hoping to meet OooOooOoon later in the week. I'm not sure what her schedule is, I think she goes back before the following weekend. I'll try and sort something out anyway.

― PJ Miller, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd like to meet OOOoooOOn too, especially as we missed each other (probably in a very Terry and June fashion) in Bangkok.

― chris, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ILE meet up sometime next week on the Lego car track at Legoland??

― David, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I am trying to get something together with Oon as well (hur hur). We should all meet, yes. Which reminds me blooming heck I need to email her but I am not at my regular EMAIL STATION so I can't bah bah bah I will haf to stay LATE tonight to do it. Groo.

― Sarah, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

They have a CAR TRACK!? Major!

― PJ Miller, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, cars look like they are made of Lego bricks.

Obviously

― David, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Do they have a driving school at the one here? My parents wouldn't let me go on the one in Denmark.

― Graham, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sadly the place seems to be entirely sold out during July. Bollocks!

http://www.lego.com/legoland/windsor/images/rides/DrivingSch178x1 28ico.jpg

― David, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sadly, the teatime deadline has passed without me thinking of anything witty (or having any tea GRRRR!) but anything would have paled into insignificance compared with Big Dave's photo collection. Sold out, eh? K-BLIMEY!

― PJ Miller, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

lego sold out when they started with those star wars/harry potter tie- ins.

― RJG, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The space race in general was a disaster for Lego.

― PJ Miller, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Lego pirate ships were way cool. Complete with monkeys (did you see what I did there? .... ), crocodiles & décolleté wenches wearing too much slap.

― David, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You haven't got a photo have you, Dave? I'm having trouble visualizing Lego slap.

― PJ Miller, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

more than slap.

http://users.erols.com/kennrice/lego-kz5.jpg

: (

― RJG, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Can you get a complete lego set of The WHO at the Isle of Wight?

― PJ Miller, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

OK, the best I can find for now. Use your Sherlock Holmes magnifying glass on the 3rd figure from the left, Peter.

http://www.brickmeister.com/pause/pix/pirates/6251.jpg

― David, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Can you get a complete lego set of The WHO at the Isle of Wight?

Featuring THE blOX on bass, I suppose?

― David, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Big Dave, I think that's a bloke dressed as a woman, hence slap overload. I've noticed that Roger Daltry red indian tassle-heavy handbags are back in fashion, so anything's possible.

Legoland costs 18 pounds to get in!

Watch this space for non-Legoland meet-up thread.

― PJ Miller, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hang on - this isn't Lego.

What of the news (broken THE SAME DAY) that Mike Myers is to play the loon in a Keith Moon biopic?

― N., Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I seem to have forgotten how to do blue writing in my absence. The Keith Moon pic link

― N., Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If it's OK with Daltrey, it's OK with me. I like to imagine him meeting Myers and thinking how clever he is. I can see the look on his face. By the way, has anyone else noticed that all the memebers of the WHO except Moon have got difficult to remember how to spell surnames? All of them contain 'optional' letters. That's really bizarre.

I would prefer a film about 'normal' Lego using stop-gap animation instead of computers.

― PJ Miller, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think that's a bloke dressed as a woman, hence slap overload

Peter, it really is a GURL, with cleavage 'n' stuff. I will bring one to the non-Legoland meet-up & show you. BTW, clever use of optional letters in 'members' to illustrate your point.

N., your first Moon biopic link *did* work.

― David, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

they should remake buddy's song with the mooted daltrey- portrayer sean bean. or sean connery. or mister bean. or anyone. I'd watch it.

I won't say whether I think chesney hawkes should be replaced or not. or if he has. or not.

― RJG, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Late-breaking Thai news:

I shall be meeting Oon (hopefully) in a cafe in Brixton in 13 hours' time. She'll be dropping her bags off at a secret location in SE London. After that, London is her oyster (and garlic stir-fry).

― Michael Jones, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Aaaaaaaaaw. "Thai news".

Bless.

Nostalgia already!

― David, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I haven't finalised anything with OOoOooOoon yet, can someone be my messenger, or direct her to this board? Preferably while she's in the grip of jet-lagged loonacy. I'll start a meet-up thread or something.

― PJ Miller, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'll be your messenger, PJ. I'm not sure what her plans are this week - she was supposed to be staying with a chum in a swish and happening central London pad, but that appears to have fallen through (the ceiling of the one below).

[Did you get my mail about Susannah?]

― Michael Jones, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

OK Michael. I'll start a thread to see who's up for what anyway. It's likely to look complicated though.

Yes, I did get your mail about Susannah and Pigface 69. I shall reply forthwith.

― PJ Miller, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mike, will you pass her my mobile number? I did try to mail her on Friday but I messed up and it bounced back and I want to be in on the Ooooooooooooooonism too!

― Sarah, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sarah: of course. My phone book is her phone book. She should be circling Heathrow about now. I better get my skates on...

― Michael Jones, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

N., your first Moon biopic link *did* work.

Yes, I know, but only if you knew to click in the latter part of the sentence. Which is too much to ask.

― N., Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

B-b-b-but I am thick & I knew how to do it!

― David, Monday, 15 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

three years pass...

Is that the David Moore on this excellent thread?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 3 April 2006 23:14 (twenty years ago)

Could there be another?

Remember when ilx was friends?

― Tim (Tim), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 07:40 (twenty years ago)

Hey, I'm friends.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 09:14 (twenty years ago)

those were the day

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 09:14 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.