Oh forget it! I probably hated you too!

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Are you friends with any people you used to really hate?

I was thinking about this today and there's a good few guys I now consider good friends who I thought were complete dickheads when I was younger. Isn't there something brilliant about actually ending up good friends with these people? It restores my faith in er......something.

It's also interesting to share perspectives on what you thought of them/they thought of you back in the day.

Well?

― Ronan, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

New answers are everyones friend.

― Ronan, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

doompatrol!! (blimey are we still tho? i shall email him tonight...)

― mark s, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Just about everybody on ilx that I started out disliking I end up liking quite a bit -- I'm kind of pushover in that sense.

In real life if I dislike somebody I end up avoiding them completely if possible so I don't get a chance to get to know them better -- I hadn't really thought about this til now and it does seem pretty harsh.

― Nicole, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nope, can't say I've ever ended up being friends with someone I hated. Number of people I actively dislike is around zero though. I like people or I don't, the don't does not equal = dislike. If you get what I mean, I'm not sure I do either!

― jel --, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm stubborn. If I hate you to begin with, it's going to be very hard to change my mind.

― Michael Bourke, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fuck no!

Life's way too long to spend it around people you dislike. I don't even see the people I *DO* like nearly enough.

I'm very fucking judgemental when it comes to making up my mind about people. A person gets three chances (if that) and they are OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE, LOSER.

(I have many times decided that I hated someone I formerly liked. I can count on the hands of ONE FINGER people I thought I hated that I later found out I did like after all.)

― kate, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

But can't people change? I mean I understand if someone's done something to me I might not want to forgive them.

Is it fickle to end up liking someone you hated? I'd have thought not but what do you think.

― Ronan, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Embarrassingly, on the day I first met a certain person I *wrote in my diary* in the most passionate terms how obnoxious, pretentious, sexist, irritating, superior and generally unbearable he was. He is now a very dear friend and one of the nicest men I know. Other than that though, I have excellent judgement...

― Archel, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

uh, things fluctuate

― Matt, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

At a gig I recently ran into a bloke I used to be friends with. Twelve years ago he whacked me over the head with a vodka bottle ago at a party because he was drunk and thought it was funny. I was drunk and thought it most definitly not funny. So we've studiously ignored each other ever since - Dublin being relatively small we've run into each other. Though on Sunday he greeted me but I was in the middle of haughtyily striding past so only mumbled a brief response. I assumed I'd run into him later and maybe we could laugh about it but it didn't happen.

― Winkelmann, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hmm...hmm again, I don't have a ready answer to this question. I'm not friends with him, but the guy who always bullied me in junior high/high school and I hit it off wonderfully at the 10th reunion, so that was cool.

Nearly everyone I count as my dearest friends off-line I thought were good people from the start, similarly on-line too. Once or twice a good friendship has grown out of a brief disagreement, but nothing too involved or poisonous.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hahaha Archel are you Bridget Jones? [/horrible joke]

― nabisco%%, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

That's pretty funny.

― J Blount, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sadly, I am friends with people I once thought were great and who now irritate the hell out of me.

― Madeleine, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah that's happened to me. I think Bo Diddley put it all really well in that song 'Don't judge a book by it's cover.' Hating someone is such a waste of energy and when you can feel affection towards someone it feels so good.

― maryann, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Kate - I admire your position but I think maybe what happens to people like me and Ronan is that after you've known someone for a while you can't help but like them, whether you mean to or not. 'Familiarity breeds content.'

― maryann, Thursday, 11 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There are people I couldn't stand who I became friends with and now REALLY can't stand because they did turn out to be asses who could turn nice when they felt like it.

― Maria, Friday, 12 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well, I have invested a lot of time and emotional energy into certain relationships that with 20/20 hindsight I can see weren't worth it but god far more terrible shit happens all the time and I don't understand why I'm posting this or indeed the point of the original question.

Sorry, have just read Anthony Beevor's "Stalingrad".

What can you say.

― Chris Sallis, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ronan, liking people when you're both on E is not the same as really liking them.

― Tim, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Needless to say, I read that as 'licking people on E,' which strikes me as somehow logical.

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 13 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i dislike lots of people that i used to like. as for liking people that i used to dislike, it doesn't happen very often, because i'm not very forgiving (i'm working on this).

― di, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes and no. I have rarely ever truly hated someone. I do have very good friends who started as opponents in a pissing battle; but no hatred. The truly animosity-laden relationships usually, strangely, began as promising friendships before turning sour. And in those situations I have made honest, truthful efforts to get past grudges and be ADULTS.

As many of us have learned, I'm sure though, that is not always possible. Some people never quite achieve adulthood. With those people in mind the rest of us are just left to walk away and wonder what redeeming qualities we ever saw in the person to begin with. . .

― Ms. S., Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Tim you evil joker you I wasn't talking about drugs for once. I am very suspicious of anyone I meet while on drugs. Don't worry I have yet to sink to the depths of all night parties with tossers who all don't even know each other being best buddies etc. Though I have gone to one or two.

― Ronan, Sunday, 14 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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