cinema etiquette - what do you want when you sit in your seat?

*obstructing your sightlines
*knees in the back of your seat, basically replicating how you would watch a dvd in the comfort of your own home

Silence and stillness. I didn't pay ten bucks to watch assholes with bad raisin'...well, I probably did, but I'm here to see those attention whores, not those other attention whores.

this poll seems a liiiiittle lopsided!

What do you want for breakfast?
* your favorite breakfast food of all time, coupled with a warm conversation with good friends
* plain toast and an uncomfortable chair
* poop on a stick

go down streatham odeon in south london, esp at the weekend, and poop on a stick is what youre gonna get.

The biggest reason to not go to theaters, other than the price (okay that's like 98% of why I don't) is the impossibility of attaining the top option. Ideally watching a DVD at home should be like the top option too. Who the fuck would want murmuring during movie?

Also eating needn't always be bothersome either.

caught someone eating bread & hummus with a side of olives in the cinema once

depends. for comedies and horror flicks, it's great to have an amped, enthusiastic audience, lots of laughing and screaming and screen participation, etc. for most everything else, i want relative silence.

i rarely have trouble with loud/loutish audiences, though. mostly i want unobstructed views, comfy seats that i can lean back in without crushing anyone's knees, and a middle seat that's not too close, not too far back. and room for my friends. which basically means avoiding the big, popular movies during their first few weeks. steeply raked theaters with plush seating = A+++

don't mind eating, not a fan of talkativeness.

i expect to be gouged at the concession stand and insulted by the trailers, also.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ms7hUR1CeSI

I want people to laugh at the funny bits, and maybe gasp and the scary/shocking bits. Other than that, silence, so I guess I'll click the middle one.

part of the appeal for me for seeing a movie in the theater is observing the other people watching the movie. sometimes the behavior of the other audience members is more interesting than the movie.

tampoopoo on a stick

I can be tolerant, except for the case where the dude in front of me answered his phone and kept talking and explaining the movie. Ok, it was some climactic action scene in the third Matrix movie, which sucked and I should not have been there, but fucking a, people. Not only that but he hung up the phone for a sec, and against audience glares picked it up and did the same shit 30 secs later.

I hope your popcorn had feces on it, dude.

i don't mind people eating/drinking, as long as they're not loud or gross about it.

the worst thing is when people come in after the movie has started, and they make a big production out of finding a seat, step on your feet to pass you in the row, etc. if you have to show up late, just sit in the first seat you find and do it quickly.

also it would be nice if everyone would visit the restroom *before* the show starts. just sayin.

people who answer their phones during a movie are the lowest strata of disgusting savages

Irrevocably otm.

Am also not at all into the incessant text messaging that some people engage in whilst in the cinema, because the ghastly glow of yr fucking phone screen every 45 seconds really helps to keep me "in the moment" of filmic appreciation...

the other day a guy sitting a few seats down from me took his shoes off before the feature. it had been raining all day and the odor of this guy's bare feet filled the room. i really think there's a special circle of hell for ppl like that.

I hate people who talk and do other loud stuff in the movies, but on the other I also hate cinema snobs who demand absolute silence and devotion when watching a movie. I've seen such snobs scold other viewers for eating candy with wrappers, and me and a friend were once scolded by a snob I know because we laughed at inappropriate moments while watching Nosferatu. (I guess it was just impossible for her to understand that if you're watching a silent horror movie from the 20s without any musical accompaniment, it might come across as unintentionally goofy.) Cinema is a collective experience, if you want to see movies in a total seclusion, watch them at home. I have no problem with the appropriate audience reactions (screaming, laughing, crying), and candy eating is okay too.

once sat one row behind a guy with the most stinky, foul, gut-wrenching BO. this was during Tokyo Story.

I'm kind of on the fence about laughing during movies - on one hand I do realize it may be annoying but otoh it's a totally natural and at times uncontrollable reaction. I got kind of p/o'd at some people once for laughing during the final scene of Friday Night Lights, heartless bastards! but I was also once told to 'shut the fuck up' by this aspie kid during the first scene of Inglourious Basterds. *shrug*

>the odor of this guy's bare feet filled the room

No words for this. I wouldn't even do that at home, ON MY OWN.

Have been guilty of a few inappropriate guffaws myself, so I don't get bent out of shape if others do it. Not against quiet consumption of food etc either, my biggest problem is really with people being thoughtless wankers and actually talking/loudly slurping/texting/kicking seats and the like.

My local indie cinema is invariably mostly empty (except for Wednesdays, obv) and I tend to go at odd times, so if I sit at the front it does basically feel like I've got the whole place to myself. It's awesome.

once sat one row behind a guy with the most stinky, foul, gut-wrenching BO. this was during Tokyo Story.

Smell-o-vision

I try and avoid the busy times, can't be doing with queues and packed theatres. If it's a new release and i can't wait, i'll pay extra for the posh seats above and away from the commoners, it's called "the gallery" where there are no under 18's allowed no matter what the film rating. It has big comfy leather chairs, free nacho's, popcorn and soft drinks, there is a seating area with a bar while you wait and you can take beers into the film. All the times i've used this, i've never had any problems with people talking as everyone pays that little extra to get away from that.

My last cinema trip was notable because (British assigned seating system, this) massively entitled posh people nearly made a giant scene because they felt we were in 'their' seats. They would not be dissuaded from this belief until an usher intervened and pointed out they'd turned up a day early, as shown on their tickets. At which point, the poshies tried to glare us out of the seats anyway because oh, this is inconvenient but we ignored them until they harrumphed and swept off as if the world was supposed to apologize to THEM.

what cinemas have galleries?

im a bit tired of asking people to stop talking. seem to be doing it loads in the last month or so. sometimes people act surprised/embarassed - as they should - other times, like the other day, this teenage kid acted like i was taking a liberty asking him and his friend to be quiet. i still dont get how people/teenagers do something 'wrong' then act like the person pointing that out is in the wrong. fwiw they did stop talking.

It's the only form of rhetoric a lot of simple people/teenagers know.

what cinemas have galleries?
The Odeon in Manchester (UK) is the only one i know of.
Which is quite handy as that's where i live :)

I quite dig the gallery at M/cr Odeon, my only reservation is that it's a little bit further away from the screen than my "sweet spot" (about halfway back, middle of the aisle). The whole bar/snacks/big seats/hushed appreciation thing is excellent though. I do feel a bit guilty going there, given that we have the (arthouse and world cinema specialist) Cornerhouse too and I ought to patronise that, but the dreadful screens and seats in there make me rue every visit.

I've seen some great films at the Cornerhouse, i really should start going again.

what do you want when you sit in your seat?

I wanna have some fun!

Best Cinema? The Tyneside in Newcastle.

I've seen some great films at the Cornerhouse, i really should start going again.

You'll regret it! I love everything about the place except for one essential thing: its screens are crap. Case in point, went to see The Thing for a late night Halloween showing last year, we settled down for a great time and then someone sat in front of me = a good 1/8 of the screen blocked by their head. I squirmed to the left and right, sat up, leaned over, all no good.

Mind you, imo cinema etiquette really dictates that if you have a great swollen heed you should stay at home and think baout things instead.

I've seen such snobs scold other viewers for eating candy with wrappers

Take the fucking wrapper off before the film starts. Thank you.

I usu sit near some old lady who's rattling plastic bags throughout

what i also hate is when cinemas have lights on. there should not be dim lights interfering with the picture. its meant to be DARK.

Went to a preview screening of The Assassination of Jesse James and about five minutes before the end, in the middle of a pretty emotional scene iirc, the elderly critic sitting next to me got up and left, spending about two minutes rustling his possessions into loud plastic bags in the process.

Take the fucking wrapper off before the film starts. Thank you.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, June 11, 2010 7:40 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

Please tell me you are not serious!

Rustle Crow.

what i also hate is when cinemas have lights on. there should not be dim lights interfering with the picture. its meant to be DARK.

― truffle-flavoured french fry (titchyschneiderMk2), Friday, June 11, 2010 7:52 PM (55 minutes ago) Bookmark

I always get really paranoid when cinemas leave the lights on during the trailers, like they're going to forget to turn them off for the movie. don't think this has ever happened ime iirc

While i was watching Master & Commander, a woman answered her phone and started talking.
Went something like this...

woman "hello, oh hiya, just watching that Russell Crowe boat film"
man near her "excuse me"
woman "do you mind i'm on the phone"
man "errr"
woman, "sorry, just some weird guy. yeah it's pretty good"
many people "shhh, shut up, jesus christ, do you mind"
woman "huff, i better go, people are saying stuff"

xp: That has totally happened to me.

Huge gulf between 1 and 2 here. Don't mind eating, but talking or murmuring pisses me off.

When I saw Iron Man 2 there was a bunch of folks over to the right of me somewhere who seemed to constantly kind of bellowing and yelping, and I was getting more and more angry over the first half hour or so, until one of them shouted "HE'S IRON MAN!" during what was actually a quiet dialogue moment and I suddenly realised they were all, er, developmentally delayed adults out on a field trip from whatever institution they all lived in.

^ kinda have this dilemma going on with my new neighbours

ive had this rule since i was a kid that noone could eat until the movie started so everyone would sit there with melting ice cream and cold popcorn through the ads and previews so i wouldnt have a hissyfit

x-post to asshole moves you pulled as a kid thread

the general quietness and formality of the nft (call it by its name!) seems to encourage people to be dicks about policing others' noise - i'd much rather have a bit of general murmuring and eating than savage busybodies snapping at people for coughing/drinking water/chewing gum.

>developmentally delayed adults

Wish you'd stood up to remonstrate with them and had a moment of realisation mid rant, would be like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm practically writing itself.

but they BRING FOOD TO YOU, which is as distracting as any of it!

I don't mind their silent speed skating between the aisles honestly, it's worth it for the rest of the goodness. Besides, nobody's forcing you to order the food and drink - I think I only do that maybe half the times I've been there

i do not wanna see waitstaff walking by 10 mins into the flick, thx

hey what's the tipping sitch with the alamo waitstaff

You pay at the end of the movie when the lights come on, so you can tip then. Alternatively if you bought drinks at the bar you can tip the staff there

if you advertise your purported superiority to a film from another culture or a different era by loudly snickering every time it does something heightened or unfamiliar

I think i've told this before here: Something like ten years ago I went to see All That Heaven Allows at the Paramount in Austin. As the movie played people were laughing at the sometimes dated dialog. After some time of this going on a woman in the middle of the theater shouted out, "THIS IS NOT A COMEDY! WHY DON"T YOU ALL GO HOME AND WATCH TELEVISION!" Which silenced everyone for the rest of the movie. Later in the story when there's an unexpected tragic shock she followed up with "HA HA HA! NOT SO FUNNY NOW IS IT!"

Sounds like a real asshole tbh

hey, it's you! xp

Saw Shanghai Express at BAM Friday, and the titters over the Marlene-Clive Whatshisname scenes would. not. stop. (mostly young women, speaking of titters OHHHHHHHHHHH)

my kind of asshole, dmac, one who doesn't waste other ppl's time

xp that woman sounds incredibly obnoxious
plus, honestly, it's difficult NOT to laugh at some bits of All That Heaven Allows

Right. Sirk movies have all the emotions in abundance.

it's true!

it's the kind of laughter, unmistakably "omg so much stupider than George Clooney"

Dunno where one draws the line on what others should take from a movie

consider it akin to blowing raspberries at the opera

policing other people's spontaneous reactions to art obv nagl in principle but morbs is still talking about a 100% real thing amongst our disaffected youth, partic at horror movies or movies made before 1990. saw let the right one in with an audience that loled exactly as much as the one i saw night of the creeps with. idk, whatever.

I'd rather expend energy to judge the movie, not the tone and timbre of the laughs.

these ppl ARE INTERFERING with that.

It's not just youth -- a guy I know overheard someone likely in their 30s spit "let's go see SOME CHEESY OLD MOVIE." (probably Andrei Rublev)

there's a lot of questions around "spontaneous" reactions to art i think but maybe cinemas shd just have showings for people who wanna hoot and people who want reverential quiet. also those of you with access to actual cinemas regularly showing films from different eras or cultures shd be pretty grateful

Let's go eat SOME CHEESY OLD BURGER!

NV, it's getting to the point where I'd rather stay the fuck home if it's anything 30+ years old, let alone silents.

(bcz of the assholes)

At least with silents, you have the option to pack ear buds and, as I have in the past, blast an impromptu private house music soundtrack.

i mean i don't want to see let the right one in in reverential silence. just want everyone to be more like me is all.

yeah you'd get tossed from the Alamorbs Funhaus for that too

xp

it's getting to the point where I'd rather stay the fuck home

nah i get that. it is weird that some places seem to have an unspoken assumption that you've got no right to expect to enjoy your expensive ticket in peace and quiet and the ability to watch the movie you've just paid for. maybe if more cinemas were explicit about the standards they enforced we could make a reasoned choice

There are certain films that I think can only benefit from a rowdy audience.

yeah i hate those

Alamorbs Funhaus

I couldn't think up a better name for a torture chamber if I tried.

Also, not letting people listen to music on earbuds that will bother exactly zero other people in the audience during silent movies (which 99 out of 100 times feature canned music that's worse than silence) isn't policing. It's police state.

I have no problem with wisecracking etc at the movies but going to see "some cheesy old movie" for the lols is the worst (and utterly bemusing to me).

NV: I'm definitely on that side (hence my raving about the Alamo and its draconian house rules) but at the same time, everyone else paid for a ticket as well; to an extent, part of the experience of going to the theater is to share the emotions and reactions of the crowd, whether or not you agree with them if a film makes you laugh, cry, whatever. The most powerful moments in the cinema are generally when everyone's in agreement, but that's never a guarantee. And I like seeing movies at home, alone, in the dark too!

lol Eric H.

IDK I find there to be an equally annoying corollary of allowing the passage of time to add degrees of reverence with which a movie should be treated.

I saw The Wizard of Oz in the theater last year and the woman behind me PLAYED DARK SIDE OF THE MOON ON AN ENORMOUS BOOMBOX.

Oh my god, what a hero. Sinning against etiquette is okay if you do it big enough.

part of the experience of going to the theater is to share the emotions and reactions of the crowd

yeah like i say, i think what you really want is the cinema to explicitly state what kinds of behaviour are okay, and then to police it if dorks step over that

agreed. Most places just don't care

there's something also to be said for shared communal silence, of concentrating together in the dark - watching that four plus hour Lav Diaz film recently was amazing, a cloud of hush descended on us and we were all transfixed for the duration - the slow atmosphere of what we were watching leaked out from the screen, and held us.

I couldn't think up a better name for a torture chamber if I tried.

I can: The Boiler Room

I favor free matinee admission to art house theaters. Homeless schizophrenics would scare off the annoying chatterers. Talking would still be a problem, granted, but it would be a different, more interesting kind of talking.

that is basically the Museum of Modern Art (w/ membership)

I don't know what cinemas you all go to but a lot of the behaviour on this thread would be tolerated for oh about 30 secs at the BFI. If someone isn't telling you to switch off the phone/shut the fuck up/ then that's not a proper arthouse cinema in my books.

The BFI (or ICA) better screen that Lav Diaz film, otherwise they will hear from me.

It's all about entering into the spirit of the work and its contemporary aesthetic.

(eg no sonic sewage for the silents, Mother Knuckles)

In that case, I'll treat every silent film as a disposable novelty, as more or less everyone who watched them contemporaneously did.

I'm on Morbs' side here, but more politely.

oh, everything's a disposable novelty

(including life)

ur a disposeable novelty

The best experience I've ever had at a theater was during Orphan (shitty thriller from a few years ago) where, at the big reveal a teenage girl stood up halfway down my row and yelled ESTHER GOT TITTIES!

Yuppies at art-house theaters seem much worse behaved overall - at least obnoxious teenagers seem to get the hint from everyone around them; the over-privileged don't give a fuck about anyone around them.

They are made to give a damn at the BFI. The over-priviledged know how to speak to each other.

Yelling "ESTHER GOT TITTIES!" is the definition of knowing how to speak to each other.