Bearsharktopus v. Bearotaur

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http://www.uproxx.com/feature/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/bearotaur.jpg

Poll Results

Option	Votes
Bearotaur	21
Bearsharktopus	16

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Monday, 14 June 2010 19:32 (fifteen years ago)

imho - the Bearsharktopus doesn't stand a chance. top heavy and only tentacles to support it's front, it's no match for the speed and weaponry of Bearotaur.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Monday, 14 June 2010 19:34 (fifteen years ago)

Speed is of the essence. Bearotaur.

― Madchen, Monday, 14 June 2010 19:59 (fifteen years ago)

bearotuar in a walk

― call all destroyer, Monday, 14 June 2010 20:04 (fifteen years ago)

where is the "yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss" option?

― rugged and unrelenting (even brutal) (HI DERE), Monday, 14 June 2010 20:09 (fifteen years ago)

beatotaur is a fucking bitch. put your spiky bat down and we'll see what happens.

― goole, Monday, 14 June 2010 20:10 (fifteen years ago)

Bearsharktopus is just awesomer, regardless of whether it would flop about and fall over a lot, or not.

― flanimal collective (Upt0eleven), Monday, 14 June 2010 20:11 (fifteen years ago)

Guys, what if the fight takes place in water??

― Tuomas, Monday, 14 June 2010 22:00 (fifteen years ago)

both pics are on a beach. clearly our competitOrs have already chosen a battleground. ankle deep water.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 15 June 2010 01:06 (fifteen years ago)

wondering if the bearsharktopus has also inherited the deadly intelligence of the octopus as well.

― an indie-rock microgenre (dyao), Tuesday, 15 June 2010 01:13 (fifteen years ago)

Which has left the most offspring??>?

― breaking that little dog's heart chakra (Abbott), Tuesday, 15 June 2010 01:14 (fifteen years ago)

wondering if the bearsharktopus has also inherited the deadly intelligence of the octopus as well.

i don't think so. otherwise it would have brought a weapon to the fight.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 15 June 2010 03:49 (fifteen years ago)

I am also wondering how a Bear Centipede would fare in this fight

― an indie-rock microgenre (dyao), Tuesday, 15 June 2010 03:51 (fifteen years ago)

Pics?

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 15 June 2010 06:24 (fifteen years ago)

do not discount bearsharktopus my bredrin

― legalize gay pot (jdchurchill), Tuesday, 15 June 2010 16:57 (fifteen years ago)

yeah, i'm not so sure - bearotaur seems to have just regular old bear paws, which means no thumbs, which means that the admittedly kickass mace he's got is likely just duct-taped there. see, how both paws are on top? who holds a weapon like that? useless, dude.
on the other hand, bearshartopus looks like he eats some nasty stuff and likely has some literally stunning wicked reek going on. i guess bearotaur can still run away pretty fast though.

― Kim, Tuesday, 15 June 2010 17:06 (fifteen years ago)

the more i think about Bearsharktopus the more i think it would drown if it ever tried to swim. a shark isn't going anywhere without it's tail, which this guy does not posses. a squid gets around using water propulsion which is also absent here. even a bear needs it's from paws to swim!

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:32 (fifteen years ago)

Q: Where is bearsharktopus from?
A: It's from paws!

― Damn these skinny jeans' pockets. (HI DERE), Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:33 (fifteen years ago)

I think it's quite attractive

paws

― stofu (cozen), Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:35 (fifteen years ago)

not sure how bearotaur is gonna fare once he gets close enough to do any damage, but i'm gonna say speed would win the day for him.

― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:37 (fifteen years ago)

speed as in "omg look how fast bearsharktopus tore bearotaur's legs off with those monstrous tentacles"?

― Damn these skinny jeans' pockets. (HI DERE), Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:38 (fifteen years ago)

those tentacles aren't monstrous, they're stubby- that's why i'm not giving them as much due as i otherwise would.

― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:40 (fifteen years ago)

paws

― stofu (cozen), Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:41 (fifteen years ago)

right now the only thing bearotaur has going for him is his sweet castle; pretty sure there's a ballista up there backing him up for when the velcro on that club comes loose

― Damn these skinny jeans' pockets. (HI DERE), Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:42 (fifteen years ago)

it's where he's holding bearsharktopus's daughter hostage.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:43 (fifteen years ago)

if bearsharktopus even tried to bring its jaws into play it would fall over

― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:43 (fifteen years ago)

obv the skarktopus part of it couldn't care less, but the bear component is fucking pissed!

xpost - exactly!

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:44 (fifteen years ago)

you guys the bearsharktopus can only look up

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:47 (fifteen years ago)

aaaaa

now i'm imagining it coming at me from below

― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:47 (fifteen years ago)

this is also imp. data re: the bearotaur

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poEwkIPKn3w

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 17 June 2010 15:48 (fifteen years ago)

holy fucking shit!!!!!

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Thursday, 17 June 2010 16:00 (fifteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Monday, 28 June 2010 23:04 (fourteen years ago)

voted bearotaur under pressure

― Jarlrmai, Monday, 28 June 2010 23:17 (fourteen years ago)

That video suggests the bearotaur will mostly be using that club to hit itself in the head, so I'm voting bearsharktopus.

― Scelsi Hotel (Paul in Santa Cruz), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 02:39 (fourteen years ago)

furry fin is adorable, bearsharktopus wins for cuddle-bility.

― peacocks, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 14:21 (fourteen years ago)

u got a low threshold of cuddleability, imo

― ,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 14:23 (fourteen years ago)

so are these SyFy original movies or what

― ~athdouspart (some dude), Tuesday, 29 June 2010 14:24 (fourteen years ago)

I'm a sucker for suction cups, tbqh

― peacocks, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 14:27 (fourteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:01 (fourteen years ago)

a travesty - bearsharktopus should have won!

― sarahel, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:03 (fourteen years ago)

nonsense. it can barely stand.
the people have spoken.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:06 (fourteen years ago)

bearsharktopus can both stand and swim! It can probably breathe underwater, unlike bearotaur.

― sarahel, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:08 (fourteen years ago)

if by "swim" you mean "thrash about frantically until it sinks to the ocean floor" i would be in agreement.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:10 (fourteen years ago)

although i will concede it could breath just fine down there.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:10 (fourteen years ago)

in the episode of X-Files, the thing that could breathe underwater won vs. that which could not

― sarahel, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:12 (fourteen years ago)

Mulder was which one?

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:14 (fourteen years ago)

at any rate - the battle is not happening in the deep blue depths, but the shoreline in which both are photographed.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:15 (fourteen years ago)

no, it was alien-human underwater hybrid breathing creature vs. helpful sewer system supervisor and before him, hapless sewer maintenance technician

― sarahel, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:17 (fourteen years ago)

basically bearsharktopus could employ a similar strategy and hide underwater until bearotaur enters the water, then knock bearotaur off-balance by grabbing bearotaur with the tentacles, then delivering fatal bites

― sarahel, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:18 (fourteen years ago)

how do you hide underwater? it's clear!

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Tuesday, 29 June 2010 23:27 (fourteen years ago)

Skipping 153 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

the song Maneater was actually about Bearsharktopus

― sarahel, Thursday, 8 July 2010 09:13 (fourteen years ago)

theme:

hairshart tonight, wrapped around the corpus of death tonight
hairshart burning becuz this is the nexus of love tonight (tonite tonite tonite.....)
alright!!! tonight!!!
tentacles of love and hair within the light tonight
octopus sanction of vengeance coming down alight
fire within the gill-flesh armor of shark tonight
alright......alright......ALRIGHT!

pot of hunny, btw

― good news if you wear cargo shorts (contenderizer), Thursday, 8 July 2010 09:27 (fourteen years ago)

in the spirit of:

http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj242/donaldparsley/blort.jpg?t=1278591051

― good news if you wear cargo shorts (contenderizer), Thursday, 8 July 2010 12:11 (fourteen years ago)

bearotaur so lame the durans don't even notice him, except for nick rhodes who's all 'whateverrrrrrr'

― postcards from the (ledge), Thursday, 8 July 2010 12:51 (fourteen years ago)

They laugh at his cheaply pierced ear.

― peacocks, Thursday, 8 July 2010 12:57 (fourteen years ago)

man, was SO drunk

― good news if you wear cargo shorts (contenderizer), Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:14 (fourteen years ago)

is hard to "draw" undr normal circumstances with little touch pad guy, but...

― good news if you wear cargo shorts (contenderizer), Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:15 (fourteen years ago)

I assume being incredibly drunk and hairsharts always go together

― emo WINNER! (HI DERE), Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:15 (fourteen years ago)

lolololol

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:25 (fourteen years ago)

i am seeing a trend on this thread.

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:32 (fourteen years ago)

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/818963/jeopardy.bmp

― ,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:36 (fourteen years ago)

who would win in jeopardy?

― peacocks, Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:37 (fourteen years ago)

as above imo

― ,,,,,,eeeeleon (darraghmac), Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:40 (fourteen years ago)

depends on if you define winner as "the one who answers the most questions" or as "the one who eats everyone on stage and runs off with the money"

― emo WINNER! (HI DERE), Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:43 (fourteen years ago)

if we're talking running then it's def not the hiarsharktopus!

― The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:45 (fourteen years ago)

need a (drawing) tablet bad

― good news if you wear cargo shorts (contenderizer), Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:46 (fourteen years ago)

but darragh u just made my day :D

― good news if you wear cargo shorts (contenderizer), Thursday, 8 July 2010 16:48 (fourteen years ago)

i love this thread ... and i'm sober now.

― sarahel, Thursday, 8 July 2010 20:27 (fourteen years ago)

its easy to fix that problem u know

― NO NO NO NO NO ok (jjjusten), Thursday, 8 July 2010 20:51 (fourteen years ago)

the fact i'm sober or the earlier problem of bearotaur being bearotaurdo montalban?

― sarahel, Thursday, 8 July 2010 20:57 (fourteen years ago)

sobriety is a totally curable diease thanks to medical and retail science

― NO NO NO NO NO ok (jjjusten), Thursday, 8 July 2010 21:00 (fourteen years ago)

bearotaur's retardedness is incurable tho

― sarahel, Thursday, 8 July 2010 21:16 (fourteen years ago)

need to photoshop andrei arshavin into a pic with both, and whichever eats the most of him by weight wins imo.

― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 12:15 (fourteen years ago)

http://imaletyoufinish.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/bearsharktopuswkanye.jpg

― not_goodwin, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 13:42 (fourteen years ago)

man another reason to distrust kanye

― bearotaur say "I am so sorry" to me! (jjjusten), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 18:36 (fourteen years ago)

which is more retarded: kanye west or bearotaur

― sarahel, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 18:38 (fourteen years ago)

oh thats easy that would be bearotaur

― bearotaur say "I am so sorry" to me! (jjjusten), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 18:39 (fourteen years ago)

i have reached that point where bearotaur however fills me with sadness and pity, whereas kanye is like a buzzing fly. poor poor shameful bearotaur

― bearotaur say "I am so sorry" to me! (jjjusten), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 18:40 (fourteen years ago)

i dunno john, i think kanye west might just be stupider than bearotaur

― sarahel, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 18:42 (fourteen years ago)

waiting for Kanye to tweet WEL AT LEAST I'M NOT AS RETATRDED AS BEAROTAUR LOL

― Fee Fie Fo, FUNFNFUINFLFF! (HI DERE), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 18:42 (fourteen years ago)

Kanyetaur.

― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 18:51 (fourteen years ago)

for reference:
http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/9860/centaur.gif

― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 19:03 (fourteen years ago)

Nothing's as retarded as whatever bearotaur kicks in the head.

― Madchen, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 19:14 (fourteen years ago)

if you want a vision of the future, imagine bearotaur kicking himself in the head...FOREVER

― bearotaur say "I am so sorry" to me! (jjjusten), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 19:17 (fourteen years ago)

bearotaur and kanye kicking each other in the head forever would be a funny vision of the future

― sarahel, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 19:18 (fourteen years ago)

if you want a vision of the future, imagine bearotaur kicking himself in the head...FOREVER

pretty sure bearotaur would need completely different legs to achieve that

maybe when they unvelcro the mace they can slap a couple on his paws

― Hot Tub Fellatio Machine (HI DERE), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 19:18 (fourteen years ago)

http://i29.tinypic.com/307n8ef.jpg

Bondage Goat Zombie vs. Bearotaur

― sarahel, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:52 (fourteen years ago)

the picture is kinda blurry - what Bondage Goat Zombie holds in its hoof is Bearotaur's Little Brain

― sarahel, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 21:55 (fourteen years ago)

did a goat zombie take that picture?

― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:25 (fourteen years ago)

while drunk?!

― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:25 (fourteen years ago)

and with auto focus off?

― not_goodwin, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:27 (fourteen years ago)

you saw the picture before you uploaded it and you thought it'd be fine, i'm happy with this out of focus picture to go up on the net for many people to see and went ahead and posted it?

― not_goodwin, Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:29 (fourteen years ago)

lol that image is to the Bearotaur detractors what the Hitler billboard is to the tea partiers!

― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 14 July 2010 22:39 (fourteen years ago)

two years pass...

bearsharktopus sux

― Randy Carol (darraghmac), Wednesday, 19 September 2012 15:08 (twelve years ago)

Clearly bearsharktopus is the ultimate winner here, since bearotaur has run away.

― Tuomas, Thursday, 20 September 2012 06:46 (twelve years ago)

fair point, but our cavedrawing tributes remain in tribute as secondary evidence

― Randy Carol (darraghmac), Thursday, 20 September 2012 08:49 (twelve years ago)

two years pass...

It's a movie now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTJ4Cv5ktE

― Tuomas, Thursday, 16 July 2015 18:09 (nine years ago)

five years pass...

Bump for contritionbearotaur sketchings, go

― Ole Blueyes Solskjaer (darraghmac), Tuesday, 12 January 2021 23:21 (four years ago)

bearotaur and kanye kicking each other in the head forever would be a funny vision of the future

― sarahel, Wednesday, July 14, 2010 12:18 PM (ten years ago)

i kinda feel like we are living in that future rn

― sarahell, Wednesday, 13 January 2021 00:28 (four years ago)

BEARSHARK

A cursory web search finds no bands named something identical or similar to Bearotaur. Advantage: Bearsharktopus.

― Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Wednesday, 13 January 2021 17:07 (four years ago)

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