Be a “Creature” Unlike Any Other: Best chapter title from THE RULES poll

36: If the Rules Don't Work, Put Out.

if this does not win by like a monumental margin i will be shocked

I kind of want to vote for "Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist," because it is so cult-like.

I can't get past "creature", although I did use that as a pet name for someone once.

is this still in print? because i should go buy a copy for K and see how long it takes before she punches me

Only the hardcover version is in print. "If he'll only buy you in paperback, he isn't really into you."

I'm sure it's one of those things haunting every used book store, though, much like Butter Blasters cookbooks and the poetry of Rod McKean.

I mean Rod McKuen.

Rod McKuen also haunts every salvation army record section. Still love that he was half of the people that did the Dr. Demento classic "I'm a Mummy", but he called himself Dor because he am srs artist

What dude. Rod McKuen was involved in "The Mummy"?

That song gets a lot of rotation in my house.

That is some A+ Rod McKuen trivia.

i aim to please!

Whoa, according to an NYT article, "The film rights to the first book have been sold, for $250,000." What ever happened with that?

It's still in print in *any* form?

::boggle::

I mean, what, even after Rules-writing lady got a bitter, nasty divorce from her Rules-gained husband and invalidated Rule 33 and everything that came before it?

DID it invalidate rule 36, though?

Rule 36 is just bizarre - like, doesn't that invalidate the entire practice entirely?

(Must confess: I have never read The Rules nor desired to read The Rules.)

((I have Read The Rules but I think that's just a watmm thing))

Or is Rule 36 more like "oh well, if he doesn't want to marry you but he's still cute then go ahead and bonk him because it won't make a difference anyway" ???

Amazon customer image for The Rules

Whoa, according to an NYT article, "The film rights to the first book have been sold, for $250,000." What ever happened with that?

the putative producers were just not that into it

Tired of playing games?

http://img.infibeam.com/img/d5297937/488/4/9780440224488.jpg

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH "THE RULES"

#3 is great.

hmmm...

http://www.whslibrary.com/whatsnew/images/Bookimages/mthroughztitles/realruleforgirls.jpg

They actually followed the Rules themselves? I saw them on a few talk shows when the book came out, and I got the distinct impression that they thought of the whole thing as a joke.

How about...

http://www.talshiar.org/Rules/Rulebook.jpg

The Ferengi: A "Creature" unlike any other

Indeed.

"When you do the Rules, you cut down on domestic violence," says Schneider, with stunning confidence. "[Men] are so crazy about you, they never ignore you or abuse you. And you don't have cheating."

xpost http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Rules_of_Acquisition
(the fact that a site like Memory Alpha surely means that, Rules or not, civilisation is doomed)

Or better still...
Red Dwarf Space Corp Directives

07: Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday

wtf? But what about rule #7 for guys, "Asking for a Saturday night date before Wednesday will make you seem like you're taking things waaaaay too seriously", and rule #8, "If you ask for a Saturday night date after Wednesday and she turns you down, but it seems like she didn't really have a good reason for turning you down and didn't really have other plans, than she is really weird and you should look for a date with someone else"?

Never Place Friendship Above Profit: Ferenghis otm

Ferenghi rules a lot easier to follow imo

If you ask for a Saturday night date after Wednesday and she turns you down, but it seems like she didn't really have a good reason for turning you down and didn't really have other plans, than she is really weird and you should look for a date with someone else?

OTM! The Rules seem like a good way to get rejected by guys who are sane or have boundaries.

That's because Rule #12 for Guys is "Never sleep with anyone crazier than you are."

That's ok, a Rules Girl never has sex (unless she's married, and then she never initiates sex).

That's what gets me – even after marriage, you still can't make the first move!

If all straight women followed these Rules and all straight guys followed the "negging" rules in The Game, the human race would be extinct.

http://www.startline.org.uk/SLOL20/hidehi_2226.jpg
"First rule of comedy, Spike..."

So many worthy choices! For me, it's a tough call between "Don't Discuss the Rules with Your Therapist" and "If the Rules Don't Work, Put Out".

That's what gets me – even after marriage, you still can't make the first move!

Because obv the Rules are not about love in any conceivable form, but all about accruing maximum power.

had to go for the therapist one, it's like a fight club

http://i50.tinypic.com/23kb39c.jpg
^followed all the rules except for the last one^

xposts

I'm not sure that they are about accumulating maximum power per se as much as they are about orchestrating a relationship based upon all sorts of dubious assumptions along "Men are from Mars..." type models which would maintain that women and men are so vastly different from each other that one need employ all manner of machination in order to achieve one's "relationship goals". I don't doubt that generally speaking, one can find observable differences in the ways that men and women tend to approach sex, romance, relationships, dating, what have you...but the idea that the opposite sex presents as some alien entity that one need go to elaborate measures to decode and borderline deceive has always bugged and sort of mystified me. it seems much more rewarding to relax and approach potential mates as one would a friend one longs to be closer to

http://i50.tinypic.com/245hwtz.jpg
^followed all the rules and landed a husband^

* 31: Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist.

wtf

* 34: Love Only Those Who Love You

http://i46.tinypic.com/2nqxpoh.jpg
^rulebreaker^

I imagine "Don't discuss The Rules with your therapist" is kind of like my family's "don't go to women's empowerment groups" rule – they might make you get off of a fucked-up train.

(My aunt got divorced & left the Mormon Church after going to a "women's empowerment group" so my family sees them as being tools of Sainten.)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Jesus, "Dont discuss the Rules with yr therapist" is the creepiest fucking shit I've ever read. On multiple levels.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

blowout by 36 and 31, I guess I'll know which chapters to skip to when I read the Rules

I will be a creature from the black leather lagoon.

blowout by 36 and 31, I guess I'll know which chapters to skip to when I read the Rules

all the others?

Is this just the female equivalent of PUA game?

both are essentially lessons in "how to emotionally manipulate others & give you a sense of control in a chaotic situation"

Both try to convince people that men and women haven't changed in any significant way since the early Seventies.

ha, yes, yes, yes

I still love "Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much"!!

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/06/01/the-next-to-marry-list/
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4031/4650913602_9ee0f5346c.jpg

lol oh Jesus that's bad

This is such a hideous book.... it, for example, advises women to pretend to be to busy to take phone calls as not to appear overeager, which in turn will attract men by making them try harder to win you over. Really? Here's a better idea - instead pretending to be busy, live a rich life where you really are busy doing interesting things? It will be more fun for you, and, not coincidentlally, also make you more attractive to men.

The whole gist of the book seems to be: be a passive wallflower and men will go through hoops wanting to marry you. Lost seems to be the importance of finding a man who you'd actually (i)want(/i) to be married to. It's relentlessly self-contradicting - "You're a Rules girl! Your life is never on the edge because of a man." But women who buy into this drivel are *always* on edge because they're obsessed with getting married and will incessantly subvert their every action in pursuit of that goal.

It offers up such gems as "Don't tell him that his behavior (being 30 min. late for a date) reminds you of your ex-boyfriend who was also never on time. Even if this is true, don't tell him. Don't worry. By doing The Rules, you will automatically attract a loving, attentive husband who will be around so much that you won't have time to think about your abanadonment issues!". No, you'll attract chronically rude men who'll walk all over you every chance they get, secure in the knowledge that they can be unpunctual and thoughtless with impunity.

gawd, what nonsense....

sry about the misspellings and mispunctuation

'Doing' rules is odd terminology. Like something a four year-old would say.