malicious rumours

last month i moved back to my folks who live in a village (2 pubs, 2 shops) as i got a summer job in a hotel nearby and will move back to the city once college starts in september. so a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine rang me and asked was it true that i came out of the closet. he heard my parents were 'disgusted' that i'd came out and said i was gay. i said it wasnt true and asked him where he heard it from. well he didnt tell me right then but later on said it was a guy i went to primary school with. a total asshole (calls himself KING ffs). If people want to make assumptions about me (im over 30 and single, raises eyebrows in this place) thats fair enough, i dont care. its the fact that someone needs to construct a lie to bolster the assumption is what bugs me.

Then yesterday some kid called at the door looking for my nephew. 'hes not here' i said. he asked for him again. 'christ this kid is stupid' i thought. 'hes not here!'. so he walked off and just as i closed the door i could have sworn he said 'faggot' at me. anyway, turns out he's assholes nephew. i have to admit this shit is bugging me despite me trying to deny to myself it doesnt matter and who cares what a bunch of rednecks think of me. anyone here ever find yerself in the same situation? should i confront the guy or just forget about it?

confront the prick

send him a dead fish in the mail

get a bottle of viagra and put a sticker with his name on it on the bottle and leave it at the local pub

suck his dick

grant singer to thread

murder him

kids of a certain age call everybody 'faggot' all the damn time regardless of fact. not that it's acceptable, but maybe you're being a little sensitive to a remark that doesn't mean much, if anything, at all.

as to the rumor itself, unless dude is making your stay at home difficult, let it slide. who really wants to get caught up in some repressed homosexuality resentment? who knows, maybe you gave the dude a boner in primary school and now he hates you for it. his problem, unless he makes it yours.

I wonder sometimes if I am the victim of a malicious rumour

i'm siding more with elmo here, best to let it slide, your pals and relatives will believe you and an angry confrontation may lead people to believe there's something in it (not that there's anything wrong with that!). try to calm down and laugh it off until such time as you some across the guy then i would confront him as calmly as possible, if you can manage it, in a "you're pathetic" way rather than an "i'm so angry" way.

i mean, that's very big of y'all and all, but a douche pushes you on the playground, you push that motherfucker back.

:)

I'd just ignore it and, whenever anyone brought it up with me, say "You're going to believe a woman-beating alcoholic?"

Once the dust cleared, I'd then say "See how easy it is to start rumors?"

hahaha

welcome to small town life ime. shrug. rise above it. or bang his wife/girlfriend.

hot

do we even know that the douchebag in question even started the rumor? it could have been circulating beforehand.

that's the beauty of my approach; just call whomever the last person known to be spreading the rumor a woman-beating alcoholic

(depending on the town, you will probably be right anyway)

RIP Grant Singer

HI DERE (and Elmo) OTM

kids of a certain age call everybody 'faggot' all the damn time regardless of fact

nah, not in rural ireland (if i'm not mistaken, michael?).

go and tell his mammy, tbh.

Not long after I moved out of home, I think, my mum had the mother of one of my schoolmates bump into her at the shops and comment on how shocked and sorry she was to hear about my situation.

THAT I HAD AIDS FFS.

Mum, bless her, just burst out into hysterical laughter. I never did find out who'd started that one but I had some ideas. But geeez! Luckily it never went anywhere and I just brushed it off, but I was all "I'm gonna sue someone for SLANDER" for about 15 minutes initially :/

HI DERE otm, will file that advice away for future use if necessary

My brother arrived back to our island after four years away to hearty congrats from all and sundry about having become a father the year before. Local girl had picked a name at random she didn't think would be back. Luckily, he didn't go on the birth cert or anything.

yes, rural ireland, darragh. id have to tell on the kids grandmother. his mum is in jail for some drug-related charge....

Hmm grannies don't really hold the same dread, imo.

rise above it, i think- it's a rough situation, but jeez it's rural ireland- you can't come back from anywhere without some kind of mysterious aura, usually negative.

ps get rid of any earrings, and items of clothing made out of not-wool, you should be ok.

kids of a certain age call everybody 'faggot' all the damn time regardless of fact

tbh i don't feel comfortable accepting this as fact. ignorance is not the best policy in this situation, for me.

wait, surm, you are unsure of whether kids call each other 'faggot'? maybe your high school experience was different than mine but ime the word is like the #1 insult in the verbal arsenal of the idiot american teenage male.

I think he means he doesn't feel comfortable shrugging and saying "oh well, boys will be boys"

I thought "regardless of fact" meant "regardless of wether they think you are Actually Gay or not".

Still, the point does stand.

The kid said "forget about it", not faggot, and you were so sensitive about recent events you misheard.

big believer in the laugh-out-loud / eye-roll / yeah-right / "what idiot told you that?" response to this sort of thing -- proven effective by all kinds of science, so long as you can get into a mindset of really genuinely meaning it

Sign the fucker up for Gaydar.