All right, so what bad movies do y'all like? ;-)

anyhow, a bad movie that i *love* is pcu starring jeremy piven and david spade. basically, it's your typical campus life film at peculiarly politically correct university called port chester university (get it?). i love it so much because i remember watching it with friends at school and we were startled by all of the similarities to our own experience: the womyn's club, "the pit," ultimate frisbee, the high concentration of stoners and conservatives.

there is one really great line from the film. piven's character encounters one of his fellow roommates and learns that he's going to see a show that night by a group called the merkins. well, he intends on wearing a merkins t-shirt to the concert. piven responds with the immortal lines:

"You're going to wear the t-shirt of the band that's playing? Don't be that guy."

"don't be that guy." i use that line any time i come across someone who risks making a stereotype out of themselves. just don't be that guy. i think we can all learn from this.

5 hot-bodied youths in a house. They open an old book (NB they might have done something else, who remembers?) - OH NO! A living demonic cartoon cames to life and starts chasing them and eating them! You see the demonic cartoon for all of one minute in the entire film before the animation budget runs out.

Two of the women in the house take refuge in a bedroom from the marauding cartoon. What do they do there? Yes, that's right, they decide to EXPLORE THEIR BISEXUAL SIDES. Great idea! Movie continutes with similar nonsensical fun and games until everyone gives up and goes home.

I mean, it makes absolutely no sense. Just why is it that the rather vapid 80s Monster Ballads rawk of Wyld Stallions seems to create eternal harmony in the future world? And how did this harmony occur if the way things happen is that Bill & Ted are separated? Rufus had to go from the future to change history to keep them together. How did any of this occur? And why is Bill an Esquire? And why is his dad married to a high schooler? I think answering these questions will make your head explode, so just enjoy it.

And of course, party on, dudes.

Okay, I'll admit it, I've haven't yet seen videodrome but I KNOW that I would AUTOMATICALLY love it, because I associate it with Front 242 <<"You know me . . . and I *sure* know you . . . ">> I'm just trying not to let my love for Front Line Assembly sucker me into watching all the crap they sample, like Robocop 2 and some Cristopher Walken thing where he's an angel of death or something (or maybe it's not such a bad movie, I dunno . . . YET)

a) Patricia Arquette gets possessed by post. b) Having been diagnosed with epilepsy which has struck her violently twice in the previous two days, Patricia Arquette goes and sits moodily on the roof of her penthouse - afforded for on a hairdessers salary - not worried about another attack which would make her fall off. c) DOCTOR: "It bleeds when I do this" PA: "Well, don't do it then"

I would not wish to spoil the rest of this guffaw fest for the rest of you. Beer, sarcasm and Stigmata - the perfect video night.

I want more movies like Havoc, the Crush, Swimfan, Poison Ivy, DECEIVER, etc.

And you want them all at once.

I also want to see more performances like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLzAB8DkMzk

or this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6OU_8zkvw4

or this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuHiAU_aeTg

but NEVER anything like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1c1bulFxIc

LOL @ Malkovich "Pay that myan hees munny"

So what's been your bad movie of choice for this summer?

The Diabolique remake from 1996 has the only Sharon Stone performance I care for -- a total scream.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrIlOw0nyiU

xp Obsessed w/ Beyonce and Stronger Bell!!

Stringer Bell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEkPsese47w

Everyone here should buy the DVDs of these movies and support horrible filmmaking so that this "genre" does not die out

Young Einstein

Mannequin

Puppet Master series

which reminds me, I can't wait to see the new one Puppet Master 9: Axis of Evil (I'm gonna have to get it on netflix or something though)

1941

Super Mario Bros. Movie

Maid in Manhattan.

Lifeforce

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G32tVg4Ld6g

AKA nude space vampires vs Britain.

Daybreakers

Lifeguard (1976)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx4D0uvO21k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4Ld1mC2obk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kR_Uu7CoAo

Damn, why did I not know about this movie when I was 16...

Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)

Investigating the mysterious deaths of a number of farm animals, vet Rack Hansen discovers that his town lies in the path of hoards of migrating tarantulas. Before he can take action, the streets are overrun by killer spiders, trapping a small group of towns folk in a remote hotel.

Stars: William Shatner

Plot Synopsis: This plot synopsis is empty. Add a synopsis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWnxqUfRJTA

Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)

Investigating the mysterious deaths of a number of farm animals, vet Rack Hansen discovers that his town lies in the path of hoards of migrating tarantulas. Before he can take action, the streets are overrun by killer spiders, trapping a small group of towns folk in a remote hotel.

Stars: William Shatner

Plot Synopsis: This plot synopsis is empty. Add a synopsis

This scared the shit outta me as a kid: the overacting match between Shatner and the plastic spider.

^^ my synopsis btw

The ending is firmly fixed in my head as both classic beyond classic and the lamest thing ever

I want more movies like Havoc, the Crush, Swimfan, Poison Ivy, DECEIVER, etc.

I saw this thread title and I came here to add Havoc! Which I loved!

Sounds like you'd like Hard Candy and Fear (Marky Mark and Reese).

The Inception thread reminded me that I recently watched this excellent bad movie that features George Lazenby in a smallish role:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvOvVtE4rgI

I've seen The Room twice and enjoyed it, but it took some arm-twisting for me to get to that point, in part because I'm sympathetic to J.R. Jones's point in his review of Best Worst Movie, summed up in the subhead: Life's too short to waste on terrible movies. At the same time, one of the reasons I'd rather see "good movies" is because I feel like I'm more likely to experience pleasure, or at least non-shallow pleasure -- and if other people are able to find the same pleasure in so-called bad movies, then more power to them.

I am not even remotely sympathetic to that point, fwiw

xxpost -- Hahaha! That movie has been a OMG WTF fave creation of mine for a while. A summary here:

http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/Never_Too_Young_to_Die_1986.aspx

I'm sympathetic to J.R. Jones's point in his review of Best Worst Movie, summed up in the subhead: Life's too short to waste on terrible movies

Nah, I'm so far gone I'm in the place that has John Waters calling Mommie Dearest not "so bad it's good," but rather "so good it's great."

Plus, people are faaaaaar more often wrong about which movies are good than they are about which movies are bad.

Gene Simmons in Never Too Young to Die

http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/cackle.jpg

Plus, people are faaaaaar more often wrong about which movies are good than they are about which movies are bad.

Urgent and key.

I understand the concept of sublime badness. Maybe what I'm resistant to is the hyperbolic manner in which these movies are often touted. It usually ruins the possibility of finding actual pleasure from them.

To be fair, that's often said about good movies too.

You would like Havoc, jaymc!

War - Jet Li, Jason Statham (Not even trying to excuse myself for this one)
Halloween 2 (original, not Zombie's)

Honestly, it would be easier for me to list the bad movies I don't like.

is War the secret to The One? sequel i mean.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cI4qYsP9oME

Oh yeah Hard Candy LOL

CONGO

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSvU8a_hn2Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-S8pryWP7mA&feature=related

Dr. Karen Ross: Name your price.
Dr. Peter Elliot: I don't have a price! I'm not a pound of sugar, I'm a primatologist!

Eddie Ventro: Wow, a talking gorilla! I can feel the money hairs on the back of my neck going "WOO-WOO-WOO".

Lots of fun OTT character actors in this movie: Tim Curry, Joey Pants, Ernie Hudson, Bruce Campbell

plus gorillas

has anyone seen "hey babe!" ?!? it looks like the most wonderful abomination. at one point in the "trailer" (like 30 seconds of movie clips and a ton of stills) there is a still of little yasmine standing in front of buddy while he is naked in the bathtub. also little yasmine dressed as a punk.

An orphan (Yasmine Bleeth) with dreams of show business success tries desperate schemes to launch her into the public eye, until finally meeting a mentor (Buddy Hackett) whose own career fizzled as a result of alcoholism. Music Gino Soccio. Directed by Rafal Zielinski.

http://vimeo.com/27002460

rafal zielinski has also brought us the following titles :

1992 Spellcaster (starring Adam Ant!)

1991 Veronica Clare (TV series)

1991 Night of the Warrior

1991 Under Surveillance

1989 Ginger Ale Afternoon (best title)

1988 Screwball Hotel

1988 State Park

1987 Valet Girls (In 1999 a Welshman writes this in his review, "Women can take control by standing up and doing what they want. This is beautifully shown in a scene where one of the Valet girls rejects the offer of Pop fame from a lascivious record agent only to be signed by another for just playing her song. All women have to do is 'Play their song' and they can obtain their goals with ease.")

1986 Recruits

1985 Screwballs II

1983 Screwballs (tagline: "The nuts always score!")

1983 Hey Babe!

hey babe!'s music is by this guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0p3hZGbYrw&feature=related

Tagline: "If there's a mass funeral for the entire world, THE SHOW MUST GO ON"

i was talking to someone a while ago who did not know who buddy hackett was!

i really think i need to see this movie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siIpMH9Udzs
the discotheque @ 3:30 is beyond words.

ok, i accidentally domed your son is now at the tippy-top of my Netflix queue and hopefully i shall see this film w/n a week or so.

Precious
Vice Squad

Had anyone seen "Beyond the Doors" aka "Down on Us"?

The story of Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, and Janis Joplin, and how their message for their generation made them targets of a US government plot.

http://youtu.be/OZoZzw0kxA8?t=50s

I love bad movies, and I'm so glad I don't work in academia anymore, where I have to justify my taste! I can spend my free time scarfing down those one dollar movies from Wal-Mart. Is it just me, or is the art direction in those sixties and seventies b-movies better than the big budget pictures?

Everything about the bad movies of the 60s and 70s is better than today's bad movies.

That's probably true, although some of the shit horror movies I have watched are okay, the crime movies too. But the b-horror movies are a lot gorier than they used to be.

I bought "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" ...great set design!!

Watched my favourite bad-movie ever last night (was happy to find out it could be ordered on DVD): The Love Machine. It used to play on TV all the time here through the '70s, when I must have watched it at least half-a-dozen times (part of my teenager-in-search-of-softcore-nudity pantheon). I think it's much more entertaining than Valley of the Dolls. John Phillip Law is impressively wooden, while Jackie Cooper, David Hemmings, and Shecky Greene chew all available scenery. Cooper's not bad, actually, ditto Dyan Cannon. Robert Ryan gets off a great campy line: (too lazy to check back, so a paraphrase) "Picasso and those cats--they never played it safe"). Couple of vintage Dionne Warwick songs, a trippy fashion segment, and an insane climactic slugfest between Cannon, Hemmings, and Alfie the Shakespearean actor. A touch on the insensitive side about changing mores.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gsDJuzj2Pqw/TrOFHbOM_mI/AAAAAAAAA4U/SSf1bqwkiD0/s1600/lm35.jpg

The book and soundtrack are great, love The Love Machine!! Everyone's eating steaks 24/7.

I must investigate.

The Oscar gets a commentary track

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/02/10/the-return-of-the-oscar-an-unseeable-unwatchable-flop

Olson and Nelson have actually read Ellison’s whopping 344 page screenplay for The Oscar, and they have thoughts. “At this point in the movie we’re five minutes into the film, [but] we are approximately 120 pages into the screenplay.” Ellison’s original script apparently went deep on background for the characters. They’re hoping to help shepherd the script into publication which would be very cool.

https://filmschoolrejects.com/the-oscar-commentary-patton-oswalt/

so I watched The Oscar!

…

The funny thing is that Milton Berle, Edie Adams, and Jill St John are all pretty good in it. Doesn't matter though.

;-)

Stephen Boyd DOES sound like Harlan Ellison at times.

Boyd and Bennett roles were originally planned for McQueen and Falk, but Fate blessed them

Did you watch the Patton Oswalt commentary? The only circumstance under which I could ever imagine watching this thing.

Anything with victor mature in it, probably.

Also any of the down-ballot life of jesus sword and sandals movies like the silver chalice or whatevr

I started the *other* commentary (no comedians) this morning.

btw that other commentary is 3 guys who think it's good.

Only John Waters and maybe Charles Busch have ever really managed to pull off that type of commentary well, so far as I can remember.

Oswalt has a few killer MST-style lines; when Stephen Boyd appears in a cerulean blue robe: "He had to kill the Cookie Monster for that."

Only John Waters ... ever really managed to pull off that type of commentary well

I assume this is in reference to Waters' "Mommy Dearest" commentary, which is hilarious

That's the first that popped into my mind, but his Boom! commentary track is right up there.

if i watched it again, i would probably boom.

forrest gump

Oswalt on Boyd's football-field-sized bed: "Is he sleeping with the Polyphonic Spree?"

dang i had not heard of this the oscar movie. i must watch this.

has The Miami Connection had any discussion on this thread and/or ILX? it absolutely falls into the "bad movie" category but it may be my most beloved film. I've probably seen it a dozen times in the past several years, and i can probably count on one hand how many movies i've watched more than once in that period of time. for a while it was this weird secret thing i was showing my friends, and then out of nowhere, the drafthouse did a re-release and got the gang together and had live screenings and stuff? so sad i wasn't even remotely close to any of those viewings. this movie is a delight. just an awful mess with the best, most earnest intentions.

Didn't realize The Oscar was on sale at Kino Lorber for their semi-weekly sale. Picked it up and looking forward to a good-bad time.

at the end you will give it a standing ovation/nervous breakdown

The recent Danzig-directed release Verotika looks crazy. The combination of money, vision, and lack of talent is one that can make a great bad movie. flophousepodcast reviewed it, and there's many clips on youtube.