Better Dead Than Redhead: the 2010 Australian Federal Election thread [stage 3: Suck on that Abbotts]

http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2008/06/11/va1237313115773/Julia-Gillard-gets-into-hot-water-6087846.jpg

SHE'S NOT QUITE READY, SHE'S A GOT FEW MORE VAGUELY RACIST SOUNDBITES TO PLAY FOR OUTER SUBURBAN MARGINALS

http://www.bellgeorge.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/772686-tony-abbott.jpg

HE'S READY

NO DON'T LOOK DOWN THERE

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200811/r317699_1410329.jpg

HE'S READY

http://images.smh.com.au/2009/05/20/533534/hockey-420x0.jpg

HE'S READY...FOR LUNCH

http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/uploads/rudd-kirribilli-ella-pellegrini.jpg

HE'S NOT GETTING UP BEFORE MIDDAY

Just in time to catch Julia on the National Press Club.

Love the captions there, KBP!

Not that Julia's impressing with her anti-refugee crap, but I hope she wins because that will, presumably, be the end of Tony Abbott as a politician, and that can't come soon enough.

Is Ruddy wearing pants in that pic? His legs look a bit bare...though maybe that explains the grin...

malcolm fraser where's yr trousers

omg political bombshell dude omg dude

Laurie "Your Arse Like The Back of a Bus" Oakes calls out The Gill at the National Press Club, accuses her of doing a deal with K-Rudd the night before the leadership spill and turning on him just ten or so minutes later.

Hilarity ensures.

Also: she said "moving forward" several million fucking times.

http://mike.brisgeek.com/images/greens/LarissaBB.jpg

THEY'RE READY

http://blogs.crikey.com.au/firstblog/files/2008/12/stephen_conroy_popup.jpg

HE'S [controversial ministerial edit]

http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/uploads/jgunley.jpg

SHE'S READY (TO GET THE KIDS ON THE ELECTORAL ROLL)

It begins! Expect to see several thousand posters up on your street by 5pm!

ABC 1 presenter confidently predicts that nobody will die during this campaign.

21 August then, wheeeeeeeee!!

MOVING FORWARD
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MOVING FORAAAARGH STOP IT ALREADY

omg <3 this thread

KNOW YOUR CANDIDATES

Austen Tayshus (former #1 chart topper!), Australian Sex Party for Warringah

When asked how he would be campaigning he said, “In Speedos. And unlike Marathon Man (Tony Abbott), I’ve got a Cockatoo to put in them”. He said he would make an excellent representative for the people of Sydney’s northern beaches and would not run away from anything. “I’ll even doorknock Sydney’s northern beaches in a mankini, if the Mad Monk will wear his Speedos”, he said.

“If people want to hear that “he’s packed Bill-a-bong”, or that Anna has ‘plat-her-puss’ then as adults, they have a right to hear it. If adults want to be able to buy and sell R rated computer games and X rated DVDs, they should have the right. They do in New Zealand, Europe, the USA and other countries that have real separation of church and state."

You can call Austen Tayshus on 0413 120 430.

Liberal candidate punched in face over asylum policy

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/07/18/2956861.htm

GAME ON

More traditional to throw eggs iirc

hard to know if austen's running for parliament or wanting to get laid from that blurb.

wanting someone to remember who he is imo

Tony Abbott is promising keep interest rates down already. HE'S AN ECONOMIC GENIUS, GUYS!!1!

slowing the economy to a crawl is a good way to do that i hear

The economy needs to take a weekend off now and again, you have to train for those triathlons.

Tony Abbott is promising keep interest rates down already. HE'S AN ECONOMIC GENIUS, GUYS!!1!

― "The Dad" from Gay Dad (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 18 July 2010 16:36 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

u dum fuk, howard kept interest rates down until he left in 2007*, abbott will do the same

* not including years 2004-2007 and that one time when he was fraser's treasurer for six years

PAUL KEATING HAD TEH INTEREST RATES UP AT 277% AND HE WAS LABOR OMG U CANT TRUST TEH SOCIALISTS

SOCIALISTS DON'T KEEP INTEREST RATES DOWN WE KEEP INTEREST RATES DOWN EXCEPT FOR WHEN THEY GO UP

The Abbott Family!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNCZw4MTzB0

Was just about to post that, who said the unions were useless??

Who said the unions were useless? The Aaaaa-booott Faaaa-miiiii-lyyyyy

Do you like the cut of my Speedos?

http://images.smh.com.au/2010/07/19/1702303/budgieDG-420x0.jpg

they escorted him out because his ears aren't big enough amirite

Tony Abbott on Hey Hey It's Saturday tomorrow night. These dudes oughta make a comeback, they'd get 10/10 from him:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hV6QzcdT_cA

I won't be watching People Skills on Hey Hey but stay tuned for a report from dedicated Daryl Somers fan, Autumn Almanac.

Report:

- People Skills made a joke, nobody laughed
- contestant 2 was an old bloke who did a really bad comedy routine
- the gay Asian bloke out of Entourage gave him a high score for being 'funnier than Tony Abbott'

Now they've got circus dogs on.

FUCKING CIRCUS DOGS

he's fucking circus dogs?

Cutting the Nationals lunch there, I reckon.

They had four little girls on doing some routine. Daryl got on his knees and talked to them as though he had brain damage, and they condescended the shit out of him. Top shelf TV.

http://images.smh.com.au/2010/07/21/1707311/1_1_tonyabbott-300x340.jpg

This man could become Prime Minister of Australia in a few weeks.

In most other countries, furry lovers would be burnt at the stake.

http://images.theage.com.au/2010/07/22/1707479/420_heyhey-420x0.jpg

motherfucker with some dark secrets

is that Lloyd from Entourage?

There's 3 people in that picture I wish dead

News Corp begins the scaremongering campaign of the EXTREME GREENS with the shocking expose that they would divert money from absurd private health insurance rebates for very wealthy people to the public hospital system, a policy that is nothing less than COMMUNISM.

I am going to vote the shit out of some Greens next month (in my safe Labor seat)

I'm mildly relaxed about this because eww Abbott, but I fully expect Gillard to be one of the least distinguished PMs we have. And if they knife her and put in Shorten, then call me a Liberal.

Even t'Age sez "LABOR TIGHTROPE" I think.

This is the shittiest election ever, what a joke.

Very representative, though. Every two-party result indicates precisely the ennui felt by the whole country this time round.

I dunno. I still think there were the usual rabid 35-40% who will always vote for the ALP, ditto the 35-40% who will always vote for the coalition. The ennui is really just everyone else.

Yar.

Have to say I agree with the 'Scum.

We're gonna need it.

meh

there is no outcome that would really have us better off

... Another election would be preferable to start with.

Abbott's "kinder, gentler polity" didn't last long. Unsurprisingly.

You have to wonder what the fuck the point is, if the election outcome'll be vastly different if we have multiple of em.

Why not have best of five or something, in that case.

I think this election proved that people are fed up with both parties - hopefully a warning has been given and we can have a proper outcome without pandering to independents.

and bigots

Guys, really.

<3

TPP count latest update, not that it matters now but i like seeing the coalition losing things:

Australian Labor Party 5,866,277 50.01 -2.69

Liberal/National Coalition 5,865,010 49.99 +2.69

That'll shut up him, possibly.

Wait, no it won't.

HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES NATIONAL TWO PARTY PREFERRED RESULT

Australian Labor Party 5,879,730 50.04 -2.66

Liberal/National Coalition 5,871,015 49.96 +2.66

That's certainly neck-and-neck although Abbott's 'neck' is sort of the base of a penis so prob not a valid conclusion.

Ew. Ewwww.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/09/09/3007376.htm?site=thedrum

^^this is good

100%

Nice to see someone suggest considering conflict the status quo and reporting things that are remarkable in some way.

the australian wants to destroy the greens apparently

quelle surprise

i hate brussels sprouts too but come on

i don't know why the coalition freaks are apparently trying to force a new election, i'd think labor/greens would be more likely to win right now, and if people have to vote again because of their petty shenanigans they will be punished.

The Coalition's relying upon scares to frighten people away from the EXTREME RADICAL Lab-Grn alliance. If they want to convince us they'd be good at running the county they might want to stop dicking about with scare tactics and actually do something.

julia's is keeping her cool really well so far, hopefully she can continue.

indeed

i have to stop reading crikey because it keeps directing me to blood-boiling australian articles

i wonder if thatcher ever carried a handbag

Geelong certainly did through most of the 1980s and 1990s.

Haw.

But back on topic, could The Australian shove it's head any further up it's own arse without seeing daylight through it's mouth? I mean, seriously. Where is the questioning of Abbott's failure to win a two-horse race?

I found out a friend of mine from high school ended up being a journo for the Aus. I was appalled.

Then again she was a bit of a cow, so.

That Annabel Crabb article made me want to punch walls. She has a fucking nerve saying that sort of thing when her oh so wacky caricatures passing for serious analysis are a MAJOR part of the problem she herself is talking about. She writes about politics as if it's sport, which it isn't, because sport just affects those who watch it. Politics affects EVERYONE and demands SERIOUS FUCKING COVERAGE of policies, their effects, rather than bullshit about personality and personal foibles which is all she deals in. She should be fired.

I would disagree vehemently with you if she weren't the ABC's online chief political writer. There are loads of people at the ABC who could be doing that job and producing serious work: Uhlmann, Kelly, Colvin, Cassidy, Ewart, etc etc. Dunno why they poached her for such an important position.

Also re Murdoch's cuntitude his crap has always been biased but I've never seen anything like this. He's not trying to hide it at all anymore. I dunno how long it'll be before he just sticks 'GILLARD IS A CUNT' on all the front pages.

Yesterday my mother told me thing were now so bad that 'even' the Herald Scum was warning people about the 'wild ride'. 'It says "GOOD LUCK AUSTRALIA"!!' she said. I explained for the billionth time Murdoch's incredible bias but it doesn't get through to the converted zombies.

talking to people in murdoch mouthpiece mode is infuriating.

it happens a lot up here, the coalition serfs are mean spirited and ignorant and total smug fucks about their dumb politics that they inherited, and hung onto, and will never think about or change. they are too foolish to see that they never benefit from their own votes.

Basically, and this is just my opinion, everyone at this stage is a cunt except for Bob Brown.

And the dude that does the First Dog cartoons on Crikey.

http://images.smh.com.au/2010/09/09/1917261/wyatt_roy1-420x0.jpg

faantastische

post-election backslapping has been A+++ all round iirc

kill both imo (xp)

that kid's gunna be pm one day

he's so squeaky.

this 4 Corners episode about the Katter/Windsor/Oakeshott 17-day alliance is fantastic, and should be interesting even to any non-mongs popping into the thread out of curiosity. All made from footage shot with them during the limbo period, and kept in confidence at the time.

Oakers bursting through Windsor's door while Abbott's inside, attempting to explain why it's impolite to ask him if he's full of it when he lies to the country, is the funniest thing I've seen on TV this year.

Haha I'll have to investigate this.

BTW - main program is in the left sidebar, web-only follow-up interviews in the main pane.

^^ shill for the public broadcaster