Things that people do in movies that you're never quite sure are really possible IRL

Like...can you really buy a plane ticket at the airport?

MAYBE you can. I Don't know.

You certainly can buy a plane ticket at the airport.

And I know because I've had to buy a new one after missing my plane.

agree over the phone to meet up with someone but never discuss when or where the meeting will take place (esp. pre-cellphone era)

oh! I have another one - ALWAYS hang up without saying "goodbye". Anyone ever try this?

if I were some sort of CIA spy badass dude I probably would hang up without saying goodbye

ask for a beer at the bar and not have the bartender say 'what sort?'

have straight sex with tom cruise

Also in phones: Just going "Yeah?" when you pick up the phone, regardless of who it may be; and then, rather than saying "bye", just hanging up on the caller in implicit agreement that the call has ended. See also: Turning off the television halway through an important story that is integral to the plot, rather than watching the whole thing in case there is extra or breaking news.

I know this is all perfectly possible, but it is daft.

haha yeah they should first have to sit through the local news stories about a gorilla in a backyard or whatever

Like...can you really buy a plane ticket at the airport?

I've done this a couple of times. Once was a 'next flight to anywhere' type thing (as it turned out the next flight was far too expensive, but we eventually found one going to La Rochelle, France and got on that).

Converse in complete sentences, with very few fragments, interruptions, uhhhhhhs, etc.

look cool while fighting for an extended period of time

Wow I'm impressed that anyone has really done "the next flight to anywhere". How did you come to try that? Just pack your bags and head to the airport?

xxp good one

Wow I'm impressed that anyone has really done "the next flight to anywhere". How did you come to try that? Just pack your bags and head to the airport?

― painini (admrl), Wednesday, August 11, 2010 10:30 AM (16 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

buying a ticket for "the next flight to anywhere" seems like a good way to get yourself flagged for a stringent strip-search by airport security

ask for a beer at the bar and not have the bartender say 'what sort?'

this is a good one

oh! I have another one - ALWAYS hang up without saying "goodbye". Anyone ever try this?

― painini (admrl), Wednesday, August 11, 2010 11:20 AM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This hardman move is real hard to do irl because people will think your call just got dropped or they accidentally hung up on you with their chin or something.

Parking in front of the building you have to go into.

have a birthday party without singing 'happy birthday'

have an entire conversation of searing emotion with your BACK TURNED to the person you're speaking with

(usually looking out a rainy window with anxiety etched on your face)

Not realize you've been shot.

Turning around just before leaving a room, pausing meaningfully and saying "Oh, [insert name here], one more thing." Possible obviously, just not something I've ever done.

Marco beat me to the parking one by a second. Would probably not want to see a movie in which someone spends 10 minutes looking for a good spot near the courthouse though.

Accurately shoot an assailant immediately after having been fatally wounded yourself.

Write an important message on the floor your own blood seconds before expiring.

This could go on for some time.

Wouldn't tailing a car would be harder than it seems in films? In my experience, following a car from, say, a church to a wedding reception (so the mark knows you are following and wants you to follow) results in the lead car accidentally shaking its tail about half the time.

have numerous and hilarious mishaps with animals without using one of the big 7 swear words at least once.

occupy gigantic apartments in soho/greenwich village/etc on the income of a writer/comedian/editorial assistant/etc

woof tailing ppl is actually possible if the driver is good. works better with two cars though

Have a gun pointed at your face by a gloating psychopath talking in detail about how much he will enjoy killing you without pissing yourself.

oh! I have another one - ALWAYS hang up without saying "goodbye". Anyone ever try this?

― painini (admrl), Wednesday, August 11, 2010 11:20 AM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This hardman move is real hard to do irl because people will think your call just got dropped or they accidentally hung up on you with their chin or something.

― more lunacy and witchcraft! (kkvgz), Wednesday, 11 August 2010 15:33 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark

we need more movie scenes wherein the person on the other side of the line immediately calls back. CAH MAN I'M TRYIN 2 BE A TUFF GUY HERE MAW.

occupy gigantic apartments in soho/greenwich village/etc on the income of a writer/comedian/editorial assistant/etc

― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, August 11, 2010 3:40 PM (1 minute ago)

insert the words 'well kept' in there before gigantic imo

As that Chinese guy at Newark in January demonstrated, it's not possible to sneak through security to kiss your sweetheart, romcom-style, without triggering a major security shutdown. Reminded me of this:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/romanticcomedy-behavior-gets-reallife-man-arrested,757/

have sex without revealing your genitals

This:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuSsSwg9MXs

definitely couldn't happen.

hang onto a ledge with just your hands

pull yourself up to a ledge starting out with just your hands

Lots of these are definitely impossible?

Tailing is car is good, though.

Going to a "gentleman's club" where the dancers never take off their lingerie.

Women who have intercourse and sleep without removing their bras.

Drug addled bad guys who can somehow keep a car on the street after ramping it off one of San Francisco's peaks. Most drivers would bounce and hit the sidewalk.

No one keeps their bowling ball on the top shelf of a hallway closet.

Arguments in the road where another car doesn't appear until one of the characters has decided to hitchhike.

Hurling oneself through a glass window/door seems like one - would that work? I could sort of be persuaded either way?

seen people walk through glass doors tbh

I think there's a good chance you'd be sliced up horribly. But probably worth a go for the sake of looking cool.

buying a ticket for "the next flight to anywhere" seems like a good way to get yourself flagged for a stringent strip-search by airport security

word, or saying "just give me the cheapest one you have" so you can get through security to catch someone at the gate.

Never use the restroom

xp. This guy can do it. Skip forward to 3:00.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plv14PuEdrE

Women who have intercourse and sleep without removing their bras.

this always seems so ridiculous to me - altho obviously it's possible IRL

fwiw I have broken a large plate glass window and remained entirely uninjured, so that one is possible

although I think in that particular case that was probably because the blinds were down. if they'd been up, glass probably would've cut me

People in movies always have sex with the sheet perfectly bunched up over their bottom halves, which I guess is technically possible, but statistically unlikely

you would need lots of double-sided tape to keep the sheets up like that.

Stopping a bomb by pulling a wire out of it.

Okay, name me a couple who always orgasms at the same time.

tuomas i don't think movies are obligated to show you every time a couple has sex, just perhaps a "representative" moment that tells you something about their relationship

i agree that showing a simultaneous orgasm is lazy shorthand when there are plenty of equally satisfying ways for sex to go though

- hang from a rope/ledge/anything for more than 2 seconds

And how everyone ever knows to pull each other up by the wrist rather than the hand.

Okay, name me a couple who always orgasms at the same time.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 8 February 2012 13:47 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No.

Unless we take this to TMI or something...

Not hearing this from Vic Mackey on The Shield led to me not saying "bye" on the phone in real-life, which led to some awkward interactions and an actual argument, which in turn led to me once again saying "bye", but very sheepishly and not at all Vic Mackey-like.

Oh, meant this for surm's telephone thread.

okay I thought the 2nd post of tracer's was connected to the first and was all wha? about it

i agree that showing a simultaneous orgasm is lazy shorthand when there are plenty of equally satisfying ways for sex to go though

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, February 8, 2012 1:50 PM (40 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

- hang from a rope/ledge/anything for more than 2 seconds

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, February 8, 2012 1:50 PM (40 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Like is that a satisfactory way for sex to go? Maybe? I dunno. Then I realised.

rewatched the departed recently and wondered if there actually are people who are able to text discretely with their hand in their pocket without looking at their phone at all.

xp Imitating Vic Mackey in any way is a bad way to live life, IMO, unless you need to lie brazenly to ppl who want to kill you. Then he's a great role model.

I'm amazed at how people in movies are always ready to give a speech. Like without practice.

I'm amazed at how people in movies are always so good looking

otm

<I>rewatched the departed recently and wondered if there actually are people who are able to text discretely with their hand in their pocket without looking at their phone at all.</I>

I think you save it as a template beforehand and hope you don't get jostled and send "sorry I'm later will be there in 15 minutes"

Moe: It all goes back to my acting days. I was auditioning for the role of Dr. Tad Winslow on the hit soap, "It Never Ends."
[reading from a script] Angela, I'm afraid I --
Producer: [interrupting] Thank you; next! [to Casting producer] What were you thinking?
Casting: Well, you said you wanted gritty. In other words, ugly.
Producer: I wanted Mary Ann on "Gilligan's Island" ugly, not Cornelius on "Planet of the Apes" ugly. TV-ugly, not ... ugly-ugly.

[flash back to the present]

Moe: I've been called ugly, pug-ugly, fugly, pug-fugly, but never ugly-ugly.

the use of SMS in THE DEPARTED

Ok, this is kinda weird and hard to describe, but I'm going to give it my best shot.

In the mid-2000s, I remember noticing a trend among scenes of explosions in film and tv in which soundtrack to the explosion would be:

silence > a brief hi-pitched creak > deep explosive sound

First I want to know if I'm just imagining remembering this. Can anyone come up with specific examples to show me that I didn't just dream this?

Second, does anyone know if an explosion could sound like this irl?

I think that the sound effects were meant to replicate say, an explosion in which a pressurized gas or something ripped out of its tank and hence the *creak* of the tank struggling to keep the gas in or something? I don't fucking know.

I know what you're talking about but I can't think of any examples nor do I know whether this is irl accurate.

Kicking out a car window while underwater.

Blowing air into someone else's lungs underwater to keep them alive.

That second one's probably really messy to try and do.

Having enough air to last you long enough to punch a hole through a coffin from the inside while buried six feet underground.
Crawling up through the earth afterwards.

I do believe that it's true that we don't get all the oxygen out of the air we inhale in one inhalation. So there is actually good O2 left in that air for another person, if you can get it into them. That's the part I wonder about.

but then you have none left!

I think the issue would be forming a proper seal.

Like, if you just blew into an unconscious person's mouth underwater, would it just come out their nose?

silence > a brief hi-pitched creak > deep explosive sound

this might be inherited from video games. call of duty for ex had a couple of explosion types where the 'warning noise' would be the sound of an incoming missile etc. ergo all explosions must have a special noise before.

You'd hold their nose then blow them a lung full of low oxygen high CO2 air. Then you'd both die.

xp: Ok, that's an interesting hypothesis!

i'm aware of film explosions going deep explosive sound > a brief hi-pitched creak > silence, to give you that feeling of severe hearing damage.

more of a whine than a creak though.

Killing people by sneaking up behind them and then doing a quick necksnap move.

ledge, I know what you're talking about, but I'm definitely talking about something different.

but then you have none left!

Well, you have what's in your bloodstream from the air you just inhaled, but it's true that you can't replenish it from your lungs now that you've given the air away. This is why it's sort of a heroic thing to do? In movies.

The Wilhelm Explosion

Well, you have what's in your bloodstream from the air you just inhaled, but it's true that you can't replenish it from your lungs now that you've given the air away. This is why it's sort of a heroic thing to do? In movies.

Yes, but in movies they generally both survive, with just a little bit of coughing afterwards. Not sure that's really possible irl.

I suppose you could keep swapping that lungful until you kill each other with CO2 instead of drowning.

isn't the explosion noise that you're talking about meant to be the sound of your hearing being damaged by the noise of the explosion?

no we're talking about a whining/squealing/whooshing kind of noise before the actual explosion

oh ok I got it the wrong way round.

Like the air sucking noise in Backdraft? Oxygen getting pulled towards centre of explosion before it really kicks off?

Like jumping off a building on to Ronald Reagan's hair

Crying while masturbating. Is this even possible? I thought this made Muholland drive less believable.

Pretty sure I've been there.

it can happen but you cannot pee meanwhile - violates the laws of body fluids

At least found an instance of what I was talking about. Around 3:52:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcFKItTtIxM

In this case, upon scrutiny, it seems to me like it's obviously a fake-ass noise that wouldn't have occurred irl except they wanted to draw our attention to the spark. But I'm sure I've seen/heard this same thing in like half a dozen permutations in other films.

Yeah, there it's surely intended to indicate an ignition spark as you say. I guess I know what you mean, although I'm struggling slightly to think of other examples, but if I were to look for a dramatic function it would be to indicate the moment of danger. It's to prep the viewer, get a heart-stop moment in, PEW shot change/intake of breath BOOM.

Yeah, the contrast in pitches and timbres as a way to heighten the tension/release.

Yeah I'm sure there's often a very brief sucking noise, or complete drop out of audio before an explosion in movies. As you say, to make the viewer go "Oh shiiiiit".

the airports in many movies still look like pre-TSA in terms of security