ways in which your older siblilngs tortured you

i remember one of my older brothers recounting a story in jim morrison bio 'no one gets out of here alive' about how jim morrison would hold his brother down while he farted on his face. or something like that

i guess i got off comparatively easy, b/c the worst memories i have are of an older brother challenging me on the notion of having friends when i was in fourth grade or thereabouts. "oh, so you have friends. WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? have you asked every single one of them if they actually like you? if not, then you can't consider them as "friends"!" to my probable subsequent emotional misdevelopment i took that lecture way too much to heart

the other complaint i have concerns around the same time when i wanted to buy some record and the same brother was like, how many songs do you know off that album? and i was like 'ah, one (the hit song i was familiar with from radio). and then my brother was all like "well, i don't buy a record unless i know AT LEAST five songs from it'. so, any pretensions to musical snobbery i might harbor after all these years, i totally blame on him.

I played idle mind games like that on my little brother all the time.

A popular favorite would be to to tell him he could never beat me at something/anything, gloat when I would win, and when he occasionally would beat me (usually after dedicating himself tremendously to the task) to find a way to disqualify his victory.

I was like my own crooked referee.

i murdered my little brother

In ping pong, I hope.

it's okay, he deserved it.

with a gun

holy crud.

I used to hold my little brother over the second floor balcony to make him cry. That was mean. OTOH, my older cousins stoned my kitten to death in front of me once, so...things balance out?

I already said this but I smashed my brother over head with a real live Adult Golf Club. he was 2 I was 5. He's going to be an accountant now

Also punched him hard in face when he beat me at SPACE HULK
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/136/383667598_48f782d8d5.jpg

Also liked to set "traps" with string, etc when I was a kid. Wired a door so that a bucket on top would dump water on my dad when he came in room, but I was too small to consider that adults are TALLER than we and bucket just smacked dad hard on head.

oops

cue "triumphant shrug"

In a literal sense the torture was usually ok. Enough games of mercy that I seem immune to any pain to my hands and arms anymore. Once put me in a figure four leglock to the point where I couldn't stand up for hours. Considering his six year and definite height advantage (he's 6' 4" and has been six foot since he was 13 or 14), I held myself surprisingly well.

In a psychological sense 22 years of telling me I should kill myself and that my life is worthless in new and expansive ways.

i went to a job interview the other day and the person interviewing me put me in a figure four leglock. i mean, not literally, but. and i was also told in the course of those twenty miutes or so, more or less, that i should kill myself and that my life was worthless in ways that i had never experienced that sort of well-intentioned feedback.

and by "job interview" i mean "went to applebees and ate at the salad bar". and by the rest of that stuff i mean "got shot down while trying to flirt non-threateningly with the hostess woman working that shift"

but, yeah, mercy is a pretty good game. it has more in common with backgammon then one would tend to think given a cursory impression

one time when I was much younger my friends and I decided that it would be funny to try to convince my little brother that his elementary school teacher had died. I get really, really bummed thinkin baout how fucked up that was to do :<

My wee brother used to punch and nip me a lot, knowing full well that every time I cried or shouted I would get the telling-off for making too much noise, and any protestations that he started it would result in more tellings-off for being a snitch.

bog standard beatings tbh, for 90% of which he'd claim i had been tormenting him with a smart mouth, probably. neither of the younger ones bothered me too much.

- pulled the stink finger on me frequently
- faked a letter from E.T. to me, waited till i got super excited and then took great joy in telling me it was a joke and that E.T. wasn't real
- bullied all my friends so no one ever wanted to come to my house to play
- would always ask me if i wanted to play 'pick up 52' a card "game". i repeatedly fell for it
- while babysitting me, took me down to the wharf with his friends (he's 9 years older than me), they were all swimming off the pier and my brother convinced me to climb down into the water, even though i was like 6 and couldn't swim. promised that he would hold onto me, waited till my foot was just in the water, then grabbed me and threw me out, waited while i half-drowned, laughed his head off and then finally rescued me.

faked a letter from E.T. to me, waited till i got super excited and then took great joy in telling me it was a joke and that E.T. wasn't real

ahahaha

self-outing: when i found all our christmas presents in a press aged 6, i told EVERYONE there wasn't a santa.

What did E.T. say?????

faked a letter from E.T. to me, waited till i got super excited and then took great joy in telling me it was a joke and that E.T. wasn't real

ahahaha

wait, are you 100% sure that it wasn't real??

xp i don't remember!

I'm now even more glad that both of my siblings were adults by the time I was a toddler.

i dressed my little brother up in my old tie-dye onesie swimsuit and ballerina tutu and told him that he was an adoptee rescued from hedonistic and irresponsible polish sausage stand proprietors, but to my credit i kept the secret of santa on lock until he figured it out for himself

re-posted from another thread:

once when my sister was very young our mother had gone to the store for a few minutes, and my sister woke up from a nap asking where mommy was. I said, "mommy got flushed down the toilet" and she started bawling uncontrollably. I could really be a mean bastard when I wanted.

My sister used to feign death a lot until I screamed the house down. I turned out fine though!

(long silence)

My brother would pin me down and spit in my mouth. Also, pin me down and slap me in the face over and over again. This was called a "slap storm." He also cheated at any and every board game.

The only funny story I can remember is from the eighties when my sister and I were watching MTV and I told her that Dale Bozzio was moving to our town and that she would be her first grade teacher and she got all freaked out.

xpost
i think a lot of contemporary american porn is geared around just that, maybe minus the cheating at board games scenarios

I think all of my siblings' "torture" was relatively good-natured. Lots of scaring one another and whatnot. My sister used to get crammed into the hamper and sent down the stairs with some regularity, as I recall.

Shared room with little sister, who is actually six inches taller than me and...we're just total opposites. Rigged turntable to drop and play 'Handsome Devil' by The Smiths at 6.30 am sharp for about a month's worth of weekday mornings. She'd inevitably wake to LET ME GET MY HANDS ON YOUR MAMMARY GLANDS and was not best pleased.

We used to have knock-down, drag-out fistfights over music. Once my younger sister scratched a bunch of my vinyl albums when we shared a room together as a form of revenge.

I still am a little bit angry if/when I think about it.

My sister was a complete dirtbag in junior/high school. Anything I did was my revenge for her lighting up cigarettes first thing in the morning.