HELP! My life is turning into a bad romantic comedy!

Oh were to begin? I worked on an indie film last fall when I met her. She was a last minute addition to the company, and just about the coolest woman I’ve meet. We became friends and I nursed a little crush on her. I couldn’t act on it because (A) I was already committed to getting a relationship going with someone else that ultimately didn’t happen, and (B) I later found out she was secretly dating another new friend. That coupling eventually petered out, but not before me and her had a drunken mild indiscretion at her birthday party right before Christmas.

We had made plans to get together (on platonic level anyway) shortly thereafter. But aside from few get togethers in January, nothing ever seemed to work out. There was always something out of our control keeping us apart. Among other things she got a new boyfriend who lasted a couple months, and uh, well I was still hung up on the person from (A).

I haven’t seen her in months. We’ve both been rather busy. We’ve kept in contact via texts and Facebook. Recently I’ve tried harder at reestablishing a connection, getting back together face-to-face. She seemed into it and we were gonna meet-up for dinner and more earlier this week but she got sick. Yet again our plans got pushed back.

Anyway, a couple hours ago I found out she just got ENGAGED.

I’m completely deflated at the moment. I don’t know if it’s because I’m actually into her, or I’m sad because I blew a chance at something. This is not news I wanted to hear. I guess I thought that eventually she’d come around to me, and we’d be together for at least a little while. Now that looks like it’ll never happen. I just don’t know what to do with myself.

Advice anyone?

your life is not turning into anything, she's fucking engaged.

lj did you just call someone out for being overdramatic

so are you looking for ideas for wacky hijinx to stop the wedding or

Is this c&p'd from another forum or is this for real?

btw if it turns out she 'engaged' a friend of hers on facebook for a laugh, I hope you've already sent her an impassioned 6-page letter

anyway, i kinda agree - if she has hit engagement mach one it means either

1. theres something thats been going on that was going to 86 yer chances here anyway
2. in the off chance its one of those weirdo "hey lets get engaged - ok why not - oh shit what have i done" deals then you might have a shot.

xxxpost

lj did you just call someone out for being overdramatic

― gg eileen (jjjusten), Thursday, September 2, 2010 4:27 PM (11 seconds ago)

quite funny reading this thread considering this is my last night of being single for a long long time

There was always something out of our control keeping us apart.

can i be blunt? the "something" was that she wasn't interested. this is only a guess, mind you, based on what you've told us: she's dated other people during this time and is now going to marry one of them.

quite funny reading this thread considering this is my last night of being single for a long long time

― acoleuthic, Thursday, September 2, 2010 8:32 PM (39 seconds ago)

hahaha WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN

uhoh lj shotgun wedding

quite funny reading this thread considering this is my last night of being single for a long long time

prison?

(many x-posts)

Uh, um wow. I'm just in shock, and was wondering what other people thought about this.

The validity of the engagment seems like this:

2. in the off chance its one of those weirdo "hey lets get engaged - ok why not - oh shit what have i done" deals then you might have a shot.

I haven't yet talked to her (I'm not going to send her a fucking letter).

maybe LJ could write one for you?

LJ is being surgically attached to a prison inmate as part of a community outreach program

can i be blunt? the "something" was that she wasn't interested.

And neither were you... and you still "don’t know if it’s because [you're] actually into her."

mods please change thread title to "HELP! My life is turning into an Emo Blog Entry!"

quite funny reading this thread considering this is my last night of being single for a long long time

lol, classic lj.

lj is graduatingg frum hoggward and he has to fite dumbledood then he gets to mary herminy

i wouldn't got that far.

if this hurts, then it hurts, no point trying to talk yourself out of how you feel.

but in the future i'd try not to pin your hopes on people with whom nothing has really, actually happened. because, like i said, it seems really likely to me that she felt nothing, and all of this "just never worked out" stuff wasn't bad luck, it's what she wanted.

lol xps

LJ joins a harem, only problem is, he hasn't been told it's as chief eunuch...

"i wouldn't go that far", to Kerm, i mean

lj is graduatingg frum hoggward and he has to fite dumbledood then he gets to mary herminy

― scott seward, Thursday, September 2, 2010 4:38 PM (1 minute ago)

post of the day

There was always something out of our control keeping us apart. Among other things she got a new boyfriend
How is getting a new boyfriend out of her control?

This has been all a bit stupid. Loved the "emo" line.

The thing is, yes I like her, and I would've very much liked to have had a more serious relationship with her. I blew that. The "nothing worked out" thing was partially my fault too.

There was always something out of our control keeping us apart. Among other things she got a new boyfriend
How is getting a new boyfriend out of her control?

Poor writing. I meant to throw in line about work, being broke etc.

You sound as if you don't know much about this stuff and are about to get some tough love on the internet.

snarky image posting begins in 1 ..... 2 ......

oh boy.

Yeah - maybe someone should lock thread? I feel like this has the potential to get unnecessarily mean.

What goole said is OTM. If you're sad about it then you're sad about it and that's OK because it sort of sucks, yeah. However, as the situation stands now you really can't do much but sit and wait it out.

Things *might* be diff had you had a relationship of any sort with this person and really thought that she was quite special and thought she felt the same but it doesn't sound like that's the case. It sort of sounds like she (or neither of you tbh) were really that into it to ever make it happen.

i'm still trying to figure out what lj could possibly mean

ugh - typo

It sort of sounds like she (or neither of you tbh) were really that into it to ever make it happen.

It sounds like she (or you for that matter) was never into it enough to really make it happen.

x-post - Go read the OKC thread Jordan

okay listen

oh noes lj is going to get shot at the ok corral

this thread

HERE LIES LOUISE JOGGER
HE WAS SINGLE AND THEN HE GOTS SHOT
NEVER CROSS THE JAMES GANG

dying to hear what gear is going to say

there wasn't much in the past between you or her to pin your hopes on beyond the mild indiscretion you referred to. i wouldn't say you ever missed an opportunity at any point, based on the timeline. it seems like this girl was a casual friend who seemed pretty dope but you never really hung out *too* much, correct? it happens a lot. what i wouldn't do is feel too bad about it or beat yourself up over it. it sounds like it was kind of enticing and alluring and fun for what it was, which was pretty minor, and i would leave it at that. you can be friends with her now and consider her nothing but a friend, and you can't bank on the possibility of this being a bullshit engagement or her coming to her senses and realizing she doesn't want to marry this dude. and there's nothing wrong with having awesome, attractive female friends who think you are cool in the platonic sense, because that just makes you look better and hanging around them will help you know how to talk to women even better (not saying you don't know, btw, just saying.)

wait it out until the divorce imo

C. Grisso/McCain:

I'm guessing you're sad that you blew a chance at something. Take this to heart and be a little more proactive on your next go round. also omar OTM

ENBB, you know I spent like 15 seconds going "LJ is going be fucking Thom Yorke for the foreseeable future"?

the character assassination of l0u1s jagg3r by the fruit-hating capslocker j0hn justen

where the hell is the ok cupid thread?

Haahahahahahahaha Dan

i think you can search for OK Cupid?

tough love here for a sec: peeps deal with this situation with actual long term relationship exes getting engaged to other dudes and yknow live through it, if i am being kinda flippant here its because it seems so odd to me to get emotional over something that kinda pretty much never happened in the first place coming to an end. not trying to be a dick, and im sure you feel bad about it at the moment but its sorta low on the totem pole of lost opportunities tbh, maybe a few steps up from "i talked to this hot lady at the bar but then i had to take a phone call and when i got back she was gone" level imo.

sometimes fantasy is more powerful than reality though, john

also you seem to be discounting the allusion to one-time physical intimacy in the original post; I totally get why that would make you think there was an interest in a sustained relationship

er, second "you" should be "one"

haha if one-time physical intimacy suggests interest in a sustained relationship i sure spent a whole lot of time giving off some bad signals

*high five*

You probably did!

whore

and im totes not trying to be mr crackdown on yer feelings bcuz i disagree, more trying to get at the possibility that these feelings are maybe a little overwhelming at the moment but the good advice imo is that once the initial o_O wears off i think it may seem a little less whoarrrggghhh

xpost looool yeah def didnt mean to go all braggin 2010 there

suuuuuuuuuuuuuure

People that have a number of relationships at one time are gross.

OK Dan that's just crazy! JJ otm.

prediction: you will forget your interest in this girl sooner rather than later. important: don't say anything to her since she's likely with the man she loves right now.

in what universe does a one off "drunken mild indiscretion" def = interest in a sustained relationship?

haha okay ppl

what I am SAYING is that building up hope in a relationship with someone coupled with a dalliance with said person can bolster the impression that the person you are mad-crushing on is into you in the same way, not that all physical interaction should automatically lead to relationships

I don't think that is particularly controversial

if she liked you "in that way" something would have happened, or there would have been this undeniable palpable sense you'd have felt, and plans wouldn't have fallen through, etc etc. the thing about life is that it's not like bad romantic comedies, it can only appear to be like a bad romantic comedy from certain unrealistic angles.

i think i get dans point that it might have come to mean that in the original posters idea of what sort of relationship had been established. problem is that it very possibly had no such implication to the other party.

xposts but eh i wrote it so whatever

I think you definitely are meant for each other, and you should go for it.

there's a party in the wedding ceremony specifically for that purpose.

tbf i am guessing most of us have had that moment where u get drunk and end up doing whatever w/someone and dig it, only to find out that for the other party it was just another day at the bar. i think maybe part of the deal here is that that second step never happened, or at least not clearly.

yes

although

http://bankimplode.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/graduate460.jpg

(partially i am still posting here in the hopes that lj will come back and let us know what kind of prison he is going to.)

yes, momentary ahem 'dalliances' can be powerful -- if i was into someone, and we made out, and then after that things were just up in the air instead of ended definitively, i would probably carry a torch for quite a long time.

but in this case, i'm saying the rest of the evidence is that this woman was really not interested, and you should let this thing go and get it behind you.

lol xps

tell us what the drunken mild indiscretion was

did u guys finger each other

lj is this wonderful cross between max fischer and austin powers

bah it's not even worth posting my Pretty in Pink response JPG to omar's Graduate pic

http://www.sfl-sw.org.uk/userfiles/images/move_on_logo_515pix%281%29.jpg

Ehhhh, possession is overrated. Be glad you had what you had and you've got what you've got, playa, and take yourself to the movies.

http://listverse.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/19831__exorcist_l.jpg

"possession is overrated"

Exactly. Why take over some girl's body when you can just be a ghostly presence instead?

become a priest imo

Oh wow. I go away to do the work I was supposed to be doing, and the thread finally gets interesting. Props to omar.

I feel better now. I was mad because I was finally ready to make a move, and then this very out of the blue thing happens. So now I'm in this weird position I really don't want or need to be in. So I guess I'll remove myself from it. I liked her, but the more I think about, the happier I am she'll be someone else's problem.

lol

you should get some pics of her and bubble em