Stacking Plates

Yet another thread about correct behavior in restaurants. Oh boy!

When dining out, I'll usually do this when I'm done with my meal -- stack all empty plates and bowls to make them easier for the server to clear. It's a habit I've picked up from my boyfriend, who worked as a server for years. I like to think I'm being helpful, but I've recently been told that this behavior is unnecessary, even rude, like tacitly saying "Take this shit away from me NOW." I don't buy it.

Do you do this?

FWIW I wouldn't do this at "fine dining" establishments -- usually at more casual places.

I don't do it. During my brief stint as a banquet waiter, there were times when I was clearing a table and could handle one more plate, but there's some dude stacking a load of shit up for me. Wasn't helpful.

i tend to throw my dishes at the floor and then stare indignantly at the help

i do this if there's a lot of us and the waiter looks under pressure, maybe

The more expensive the place, the less it will be appreciated. The more overworked the wait staff, the more it will be appreciated.

so wait, this is sometimes not appreciated because why? because you're creating unmanageable loads to carry? or because it's not very classy? honestly, part of the reason I do this is because I'd rather not be surrounded by an array of dirty dishes as I wait for the table to be cleared.

sometimes if I want to gtfo I'll ask the server to take my card and run it without me even looking at the check. am I a horrible patron? I must be.

i went to a restuarant once where the waiter didn't seem to appreciate me pouring my own wine

didn't know that was a fake not

also this thread makes me want to go for kaiten sushi

pouring your own wine shows that you don't know to rely on servants and thus demonstrates your insufficient breeding? idk!

or maybe you were just being greedy w/ the wine

i think a lot of waiters have their own system so you could be making life more difficult for them, rather than easier. also it could seem like you are tacitly suggesting that they're not doing their job properly or quickly enough. i would never do this unless i really had waited far too long.

rather, it annoys me more when they take plates away too quickly or, worse, when they take someone's plate away before the whole table has finished.

yeah the problem is that everyone has a particular way of stacking dishes - ppl used to stack stuff so haphazardly at the restaurant i worked at, towering and unmanageable piles, and and then everything would be covered in food so i as restacked the whole lot back onto my arm i would get fucking food everywhere.

if you want to help, you can put all your cutlery onto one plate, tidily.

One of my favorite quotes -- "Helpful people are a nuisance."

a little knowledge is a dangerous thing 0_o

Former waiter's perspective: It's not rude, but it's not helpful, either. But it can be done rudely, and it can be done with helpfulness in mind. At a finer restaurant it shouldn't come to the point where you're stacking your plate b/c the staff should be on top of things. What I think is usually rude stacking your plates when others are not finished with theirs.

Conclusion: figure out what is best based on context.

A really good high-end restaurant won't give you much time to stack up plates and any would-be high-end restaurant that gives you attitude has just failed since the entire point of not having to stack dishes is to concentrate on your meal and your company and not on the dishes, flatware or social pretensions of the servers or the front of the house. In more relaxed settings, such as a meal with lots of shared dishes like Chinese or tapas or whatnot, I try to help out the servers when possible and my fellow diners always but as jesse points out, context really is everything.