M. Night Shyamalan's LADY IN THE WATER - the mythology of THE BLUE WORLD and the battle of the doe-eyed, raven-haired sirens with irises like shimmering river water

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Narf - a nymph-like character from an epic bedtime story who is being stalked by vicious creatures determined to prevent her from making the treacherous journey from our world back to hers.

Madam Narf - leader to the people

Scrunt - A fierce and formidable beast on a mission to stop Narfs like Story from moving safely around the human world – and to prevent them from ever returning home. Spiky blades of grass protrude from its back and help the Scrunt camouflage itself in the lawn. A mere scratch from a Scrunt infects its prey with deadly poison called Kii (pronounced “key”) that slowly saps the life from its victim.

Kii - The mud that can heal the effects of the deadly poison that slowly saps the life from its victim.

Tartutic - Three simian-like creatures who form an invincible force that maintains law and order in The Blue World. “These three beings are so evil, they killed their parents on the night they were born,” says Shyamalan of the fearsome threesome, whose bark-and-branch-like exterior enables them to conceal themselves in trees. “Fear of the Tartutic has upheld the laws in The Blue World for centuries. No living creature has ever seen the Tartutic, because if you see them, that means you’ve broken the law and are going to be killed.”

The Great Eatlon - Serves the greater good of The Blue World – and ours. With its 40-foot wingspan, this majestic creature is the last of an otherwise extinct race of giant eagles who transport Narfs from the human realm to The Blue World. If Story is to return home and assume her destiny to save the world as a Madam Narf, Cleveland and the tenants must help her take flight with the Great Eatlon.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Madam Narf 5
Scrunt 4
Tartutic 2
The Great Eatlon 2
Narf 1
Kii 0


the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 15:53 (fifteen years ago)

this thread otfm

a cankle of rads (Gukbe), Saturday, 18 September 2010 15:54 (fifteen years ago)

"madam narf" makes me lol

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 15:55 (fifteen years ago)

really want to go 'tartutic', but yeah, 'narf' in any context is difficult to pass by.

a cankle of rads (Gukbe), Saturday, 18 September 2010 15:55 (fifteen years ago)

it's amazing how the mythology and vocabulary of this movie has penetrated pop culture and our daily lives

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 15:56 (fifteen years ago)

hard to imagine a time when i didnt know what a narf was, or the great eatlon for that matter!!

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 15:58 (fifteen years ago)

have stopped and watched bits of this movie when it's on TV too many times. i'd say my motivation for doing so is 60% wtf lolz, 40% bryce dallas howard

a cankle of rads (Gukbe), Saturday, 18 September 2010 16:00 (fifteen years ago)

kinda want to see it again for LOLs

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 17:48 (fifteen years ago)

This *thread* on it was extra funny: You Would Like To Be The Next M. Night Shamalamadingdong, But Your Blues Aren't Blue Enough And Sarah Michelle Won't Return Your Calls. Quick! What Nursery Rhyme Will You Use In Your Next Highly Deri

Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Saturday, 18 September 2010 17:51 (fifteen years ago)

"madam narf" makes me lol

― the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, September 18, 2010 10:55 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^my vote

J0rdan S., Saturday, 18 September 2010 17:51 (fifteen years ago)

i mean the worst part isn't that the movie is so stuffed with totally meaningless made-up mythology (not that made-up mythology needs to be meaningless, but it sure is a total void here), it's that so much of the movie is dedicated to its monotonous, empty recitation... "a tutlon may intervene if a scrunt attacks a narf on the day the law prohibits it etc etc"

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, July 19, 2006 7:32 PM (4 years ago)

Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Saturday, 18 September 2010 17:51 (fifteen years ago)

also M. Night's writing will save the world.

No Good, Scrunty-Looking, Narf Herder (Gukbe), Saturday, 18 September 2010 17:52 (fifteen years ago)

feel like the great eatlon is not getting enough credit

btw welcome to my new buffet it is called the great eatlon $9.95 per head before 6 pm then it's $14.95 (crab cakes are served on wednesday nights)

subtle like the g in 'goole' (dayo), Saturday, 18 September 2010 17:56 (fifteen years ago)

i wish this movie were just ~that much~ better so that i could love it unreservedly. like when i was a kid i used to write these elaborate fantasy stories that were mostly just maps and diagrams and like encyclopedia entries with some dialogue & a vague fetch quest attached. like im p into his mythology here but damn is this movie not just terrible in ~every way~~~~

votin for the tartutic cuz theyre p badass: "to see the tartutic is to know true evil"

swagula (Lamp), Saturday, 18 September 2010 18:07 (fifteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nH7r5ThIw5Y

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 18:56 (fifteen years ago)

http://grab.by/grabs/1eb295a28b98a2f110b5f59aa1714a5f.png

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 18:59 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.csn.ul.ie/~carol/pinky1.jpg

swagula (Lamp), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:02 (fifteen years ago)

http://grab.by/grabs/6e2a2cebe9a3c572bc36520c531e8628.png

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:02 (fifteen years ago)

There are ways to know if they are in your backyard.

If the sprinklers go off by mistake, you should take notice. It might mean something.

And if you find the water in your swimming pool is a little bit slimy - then it definitely means something.

There is someone living under your pool. She is called a narf. She is a very rare type of sea nymph.

She made a room under your pool after the pool was made.

She makes a door on the floor of the pool. It is very hard to see. The handle of the door is a small shiny pebble. It glimmers in the sun sometimes and gives itself away. If the grate at the bottom of the pool is big enough, she will use that as the door and save herself some work.

Her room is beautiful. The walls are filled with cracks, thousands of them, like an egg that has been shattered.

When she leaves, the dirt behind the walls slowly seeps through the cracks and collapses the room. That is why no one ever finds these rooms when pools are dug up. The rooms are no longer there....

The only things found will be bits of stone with scratches on them. These scratches were words once - words she and others like her could read.

She lives in this room for a short time. She stays there during the daytime.

She is swimming in the pool to be seen by someone in your house. That is her purpose.

It could be your brother, your sister, one of your parents, or even someone staying at your house for a little while. They will see her only for a moment.

They will look back and she will be under the water. They will think they imagined it... a woman swimming in the dark in the pool.

And then they will feel something happening inside their chest. Somewhere between their heart and their lungs, they will feel pinpricks, like the needles from when we sit too long and our legs fall asleep.

These pinpricks happen because something that was asleep inside these people - something that they didn't even know was there - has awakened.

These people are called vessels and they will suddenly feel different. Everything they think will become very clear. If they were scared before, they won't be scared. If they were shy before, they won't be shy.

And here's the best part: sometime in their life - it could be soon, it could be many years from now when they are older - they will do something important for the world.

If the narf is seen by the vessel that lives in your house, she will be taken home that night, back to the ocean, where she will become free.

She will be taken by the last of the giant eagles. He is known as the Great Eatlon, and he is the only one who can take a narf back to the ocean.

Now here's the bad part.

There is someone in your backyard who means to stop her.

He is called a scrunt. He looks like a hyena. He hides in your grass.

The scrunt can lie so flat you cannot see him. His back is covered with grass.

He will look like a bump in your lawn.

He waits for her.

He is allowed to get her if she is out of the water. He has poison in his claws. One scratch will make her feel weak and dizzy. Two will make her very sick. Three scratches... well then, she will die.

There is one night that he is not allowed to touch her - that is the night the Great Eatlon comes. On this night, she is safe.

On this night he can only watch her. He will not break this rule because he is afraid of something.

Tartutic. They have one name, but there are three of them. They look like monkeys.

They are like guards sent to punish the scrunts when they break the rules. They climb down from the trees and out of the bushes and snatch the scrunts away.

All this may be going on in your backyard. There is more to tell of course, like why a scrunt might break the rule and try to attack a narf on the night the great Eatlon comes... because there is a reason.

And there are others to tell about, like there might be someone in your home who can help her if she gets in trouble, but you do not need to know all that right now.

Just keep an eye out for signs of things in your yard.

And one night...

if you happen to glance out your window and think you see a woman swimming in your pool...

and then you feel pinpricks in your chest...

know you have just seen a narf and you are her vessel and one day you will do something important for the world.

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:03 (fifteen years ago)

how was this guy allowed to make movies outside of a highschool classroom

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:04 (fifteen years ago)

And one night...

if you happen to glance out your window and think you see a woman swimming in your pool...

and then you feel pinpricks in your chest...

know you may be compelled to walk down to that woman and forcibly drown her

swagula (Lamp), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:05 (fifteen years ago)

this must be whiney's favourite movie i guess?

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:07 (fifteen years ago)

There is one night that he is not allowed to touch her - that is the night the Great Eatlon comes. On this night, she is safe.

There is more to tell of course, like why a scrunt might break the rule and try to attack a narf on the night the great Eatlon comes... because there is a reason.

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:07 (fifteen years ago)

riiiiight.

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:07 (fifteen years ago)

Is there any shitty, made-up word that is more fun to say than "scrunt"? I submit that there is not.

a black white asian pine ghost who is fake (Telephone thing), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:15 (fifteen years ago)

how was this guy allowed to make movies outside of a highschool classroom

i think the first 2/3 or so of the village are fantastic - so incredible looking & really beautiful

swagula (Lamp), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:25 (fifteen years ago)

deadly poison called Kii (pronounced “key”) that slowly saps the life from its victim.

Kii - The mud that can heal the effects of the deadly poison that slowly saps the life from its victim.

?????

mavis bacon (crüt), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:43 (fifteen years ago)

we got a problem.

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Saturday, 18 September 2010 19:54 (fifteen years ago)

if the tartutic are so evil, why are they charged with preserving law and order in the blue world

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Sunday, 19 September 2010 14:22 (fifteen years ago)

Wow, made up fantasy nonsense is harder than it looks, huh.

rhythm fixated member (chap), Sunday, 19 September 2010 14:32 (fifteen years ago)

xp set a thief to catch a thief

ledge, Sunday, 19 September 2010 14:33 (fifteen years ago)

lol

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Sunday, 19 September 2010 14:35 (fifteen years ago)

If this film and mythology weren't so risible in and of itself it would be ripe for parody, for someone to come up with a world filled with barfs and scrotes. Is that, perhaps, Shyamalan's greatest crime, making this film beyond parody? (No.)

ledge, Sunday, 19 September 2010 14:40 (fifteen years ago)

ya it's kinda like, what's the point

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Sunday, 19 September 2010 14:41 (fifteen years ago)

wiki:

Budget $75,000,000
Gross revenue $72,785,000

;_;

☞ ☹ (markers), Sunday, 19 September 2010 22:55 (fifteen years ago)

so close

☞ ☹ (markers), Sunday, 19 September 2010 22:55 (fifteen years ago)

The clips of this film that I have seen look fucking atrocious, unbearably slow and portentious. This guy makes terrible films, I think?

mc banhammer (Pashmina), Sunday, 19 September 2010 23:06 (fifteen years ago)

what I love about the mythology of this is the premise that every little kid has a pool

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Monday, 20 September 2010 01:19 (fifteen years ago)

the movie should have ended like this: the apartment complex is an asylum, giamatti turns out to be insane, ron howard's daughter was part of a role-playing therapy experiment to guide him back to reality, and all the mythology was just made-up mumbo-jumbo. shyamalan's character wasn't a future savior, just a regular schizophrenic. and everyone gets a lobotomy at the end!

harbl madness (latebloomer), Monday, 20 September 2010 02:20 (fifteen years ago)

not least of all the audience!

harbl madness (latebloomer), Monday, 20 September 2010 02:21 (fifteen years ago)

water island

the milagro-beanfield war criminal (s1ocki), Monday, 20 September 2010 02:21 (fifteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Wednesday, 29 September 2010 23:01 (fifteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Thursday, 30 September 2010 23:01 (fifteen years ago)

yes MADAM!

Enter the Noid (s1ocki), Thursday, 30 September 2010 23:01 (fifteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hksKLHt9Kzg

high speed p-diddy-esque shrimping vessel (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 2 October 2010 04:13 (fifteen years ago)


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