fall 2010 \\ what, do you run with the nyu glory hole crew or something? \\ cheers 'n queers

Happy Fall, boys and grrls!

http://www.amandastevens.com/uploaded_images/init2-776769.jpg

thanks for the opener, jordan xo

let the games begin.

Wheee!!!

I love the \\s

good!

PS omg is that Parker? Because I had a dream about Parker the other night.

yup

what was ur dream?

I would never have found this had I not looked into the glory hole.

but now you've found it!

how do u feel

um, hey guys, have a weird problem. kinda TMI.

i have either a UTI, gonorrhea, or chlamydia. it hurts to pee.

i'm scared? i don't have health insurance, but the Berkeley Men's Health Collective has free STD testing today. but if it's a UTI, i'm kind of totally fucked...

anyway.

fuck.

t3d, in the spirit of tmi, i'm goin thru somethin very similar right now. got all the std tests back and they were all negative so i'm going to a specialist on tuesday. it's really scaring me, but i think it's going to be ok, for me and u.

if it's a UTI ... do you have any doctor friends, or friends with doctor friends? my friend goes to a clinic where they charge you according to what you pull in as income. i'll ask her about it just in case it might be of any help.

also hugs

thanks surm.

the issue is mostly that i highly doubt the STDs, as i've only been with m4tt in the past two months, and unless he has...uh..anal gonorrhea, which is pretty rare for the most part, i think it's probz a UTI.

anyway, u rule, sorry you're going through the same shit.

Hey gayz! Just sayin sup. And my thoughts are with you, table and surm.

sorry to hear, guys. drink lots of cranberry juice just in case?

tangential point: do any of you guys actively seek out gay doctors? someone on my FB feed was putting out feelers for a good gay doctor in NYC, and at first i was like "why is your doctor's sexuality important to you?" but the more i hear about gay friends of mine getting misdiagnosed with STDs by alarmist straight (mostly male) doctors the more i see their point (cf. a friend was diagnosed with gonorrhea of the throat (!) after telling his doctor he recently had sex with another guy; a few days later the doc called back and was like 'um jk it's actually strep')

i was just looking for one, if u get any tips on fb pls let me know

my go-to out here is CarePractice, who are 2/3 gay. they are on the border of the castro and the mission. they charge $90 per visit, plus usually $10 for antibiotics. i'm actually really into them.

i mean, i go to them when i'm reallllly sick.

so...

my doc is a straight man about 60 in a yarmulke, but he's cool with me. Cracks jokes about the ineffectiveness of the digital prostate test while he's... well u know.

*cracks*

i just watched the golden girls episode where dorothy gets misdiagnosed for chronic fatigue syndrome. it was a new disease at the time, so no doctor could tell her what was wrong with her. and she got upset. like really upset. i've been going thru just a fraction of that these past couple of months and let me tell you, it has not been exciting. so excited, tho, to finally have an appointment for a 2nd opinion on tuesday. can't wait!! dr stein, here i come

love when she sticks it to that asshole neurologist at the end

and his wife tells him to shutup

that's also the ep where blanche has delusions of grandeur from lack of sleep and thinks she wrote the greatest novel of all time

the two-hour block of golden girls from 11pm-1am has been the highlight of my day since moving back home

I haven't watched golden girls in years. I can't recall one single episode.

i just watched that one too don

one of our cats ran away, we think

worried about him, hope he comes back

i finally saw that blanche hallucinating episode right after rue mclanahan died. it made me laugh so hard i spit out my coffee, then i cried.

x-post :(

i'm sorry dd :( but you kno, cats have an excellent track record of finding their way home

yes rue is an instance of perfection, no doubt

dr3w, i hope yr kitty comes back!!

and....here's a question for you: how do you deal with jealousy in yr relationship? does it factor in at all?

i'm like, happy to sleep with other people, and want him to be happy too, but i also just get weirdly afraid and jealous feelings when it happens.

on the open-relationships thread, someone said that self-confidence is the only way these things work— people need to feel secure in their primary thing. and i feel pretty secure, but also...*sigh*

nothing in particular brought this on, btw, things are going pretty well as of right now.

omg that's my thread!

right?

I have been thinking of the same thing as of late. I've always imagined any relationship I'd be in would be open but recently realized I would get v jealous. I am sort-of/not-really-"seeing" this guy (I guess it's a fuck buddy/fwb type deal?) and it would be preposterous/oversteppy for either of us to suggest we, like, not sleep with other people, but at the same time I like to think he's only sleeping with me.

there's no magic formula, and the longer the relationship lasts the more you have to keep checking out whether following the rules that you've both agreed on is actually making you happy. Sometimes it is not.

the open thing kind of ruined my last relationship (twenty years ago) and though that one was doomed for lots of other complex reasons, if one half is constantly acting on their freedom and the other half isn't it can get way strained.

Some couples I know have handled it this way: it's cool to fuck around with other people when I'm not around, but if I'm around, don't do it. Or . . it's cool to fuck with tricks/strangers, but don't fuck our mutual friends. That seems to me to be a good general rule of thumb, if only because, rather as with affairs in the workplace, if things go badly you still are going to see that person and then it gets majorly awkward to run into somebody if things got gnarly. Threeways are another route for open relationships to go: only mess around with a third wheel together (this has been way fun in my experience most of the time, but can get comical and/or just plain unwieldy if any of the three people are skittish).

If jealousy is kicking in, then you have to stop being open and get back in synch, I think; open-ness only works if people are both feeling confident and basically happy with where they stand. It can magnify any insecurity in a situation pretty quickly.

I can't dispense too much wisdom here without feeling like a hypocrite because I"m still dealing with the emotional fallout of a fling that was supposed to be fun and casual and instead has become very, very emotionally heavy for yours truly. My bf and I are rock-solid but this last whatever-it-was has forced me to rethink my tidy little scenarios about how you can keep love and sex and friendship in neat, well-defined well lit zones and they'll just stay in place. I won't go into it but it involves a lotta heartbreak and no little embarrassment and awkwardness now when I run into a certain person who is not my boyfriend. Somtimes you have to make choices and not just pig out just because you can, you know?

yea once that happened to me and the guy fell in love with me and fucked himself in the head. douche.

sorry don't mind me.

my cat came back this morning, the rogue

happy to see him again

thought he was a goner but he couldn't stay away, etc.

aw kitty! glad he is safe.

congratulation!

give him an extra tousle in the tumnmy for me

tummy

Looks like fall for the gay thread is fraught with peril.

Good luck, surm and tabes. Please keep us posted.

thank u very much

yeah, thanks alfred.

and dr3w, yeah, that makes sense. i'm sorry about this last thing that happened to you, i know how that feels.

i think that for me, it's not that i'm afraid of my emotional connection w/ m4tt waning— we are best friends, pretty much, and i don't see that changing. it would be hard to keep us apart for more than a few days, actually.

it's more that i'm having problems keeping my confidence up in terms of the bedroom....like, he hasn't really been able to get it up recently b/c of issues with titrating off of evil bad drugs (which is fucking awesome and i support him), and so whenever he 'sees' someone else, i'm like, 'is he lying to me? did that person get him to stand attention?' he's assured me this isn't the case, but i wonder...yknow? i guess it's just that i always worry about whether i'm like sexy enough for my partners. i dunno.

and yay for kitty come-home!!!

but ur cute!

me on the other hand, i hardly feel like a man sometimes

tho i look perfect today, like my skin

what is it with people always wanting to be like a man?

what's "a man" mean? Is he rough or is he rugged, is he cultural or clean?

there is a certain pride

Check his ass.

we were supposed to smoke pot when we got home but apparently we just laid down on the couch on cuddled

it's like, what?

"baby doll" has that effect on people

I hated that movie

i put my hand on his stomach. i think that was where i crossed the line. i mean, fine, we fell asleep together with my arms around him, but i didn't have to do that. that was like a late-morning addition. i feel kind of silly about it.

also he's really (REALLY) nice and i want to be his friend. i'm going to FB him and invite him to my party.

now i'm on the phone with verizon. all's well that ends romantic.

I adore Baby Doll but sadly, it's no primer on cuddling with str8 guys. So surm, tell us more tell us more! Why was he okay with the hand on the stomach...and then the arms around him?

i don't know. i mean, ryan and i invited him back from a party to smoke up and hang out (ryan might not have known he was straight), and next thing you know it's 9am and the 2 of us are lying on the couch with my arms around him. ryan was asleep in the bed. i actually thought it was ryan at first so i called him by our pet name. oops. he didn't hear me, i don't think. then the hand on the stomach happened.

and btw my verizon insurance as officially dropped me. i just got dumped by verizon.

ok i just sent him an email asking him to be my friend.

"Gummi" = rubber, right?

I don't remember if I told you all about the night I worked as security for the Mr. Int3rn@t!0n@l Ru663r party at St3@mw0rk5 (bathhouse). My post was between the showers and free weights room. The smell of piss from the showers was overwhelming, and the sound of guys gas masks orgasming was terrifying. Early in the evening they had a spoken word thing :-/.

Surm, I want to ask sort of a personal question: Are you and Ryan a couple? I thought you were, but then I get the feeling that you were on break or something.

Jesse, you are a figure to be envied. xp

we are a couple -- we are domestically partnered and were never on break.

I thought you had mentioned that you were dating, which is why I thought you were separated. Dating other guys, I mean.

Morbs, I treasure the memories of the rubber party.

we see other people, as we are in an open relationship, but i wouldn't call it dating ;)

i do sometimes use the word "date" generously, tho, which is probs the source of your confusion

Yeh, totally! I got the impression that you were *dating* in the sense of something considerably more than hooking up.

no sir. no dinners, no movies, no long walks on the beach. no sir.

ie, the nonessentials.

just come and get drunk at my place

instead of paying $15 for a fucking cocktail

have you a shaker?

I'm not religious

i have 2 shakers!

i need a guy with a shaker.

a few things:
that book about Samuel Steward? it's fucking amazing, and everyone needs to read it.

today, i worked this event for the teeshirt company i'm with, and not only ran into the woman who directed my porno last week, but also was hit on by a lovely ginger boy with a cute septum piercing. if i hadn't been working alone, i would've taken him to the bathroom.

right now i'm talking to a friend of Alex's. he's super hot.i love lonely gay boy times around the holidays.

it's gonna be lonely gay boy times around here too :\

No shit. I never see my family in the holidays and there has always been something for us orphans but not this year. Nothing organized, anyway.

this is my first xmas away from home. i'll be spending it with a friend's family out here, but i called my mom the other day and she told me she hasn't hung any decorations up yet because she's so sad about my absence this year :(

also happy winter solstice! which i believe means it's new thread time, ja?

oh wow yes!

We should have made a list of all the suggested titles.

hot toddies long johns something something

how winter kills lust

apparently you need to hear Dean Martin's "Let It Snow," young man.

I was quoting Yaz!

Something with "gay" in the title please.

Or (gag) "Baby It's Cold Outside." xps

ah, I wdn't have known, and I will resist making a Carl Yastrzemski pun. xxp

so baby doll ben wants to be my friend, and he's coming to my nye party

Baby Doll Wants To Be My Friend: The Winter Gay Thread...?

lol

someone just make something. i hate the humming and hawing we do

are you in a foul mood or what?

keeping it positive: I am dancing to Patrice Rushen's "Forget Me Nots" and cleaning my apartment

:) what a nice day so far

Entrances uncovered Street signs you never saw: homos curse winter (and also talk abt how they like it, 2010)