have you lost your tiller?

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4124/5005530302_b2ce31b8ef.jpg

my tiller has been obliterated

i think maybe i've felt this way in the aftermath of particularly brutal hangovers, but after taking drugs i usually just felt. happy

this quote has haunted me for the last twenty years, though.

i wonder if i ever had a tiller?

I think my tiller was misplaced long before I got into drugs.

when i was in high school i was regularly accused of being on drugs and would get called down to the guidance counselor or vice principal's office and interrogated on a regular basis. that was all before i ever did anything. i dunno, man.

what is kesey on about in that quote, though? i still don't get it. is he talking about feeling SAD, or is he talking about some next-level anomie/angst/ennui??

Feeling human is for suckers. Convert me into a Kadathian braincase and give me a ketamine drip, please.

that's why i like the internet. and ignoring phone calls.

Sorry, I meant a Mi-go braincase.

you had me at "convulated ellipsoid"

Stone Temple Pilots, give the man his tiller back.

I think a couple of years ago poster Laurel was characterizing ILX people as being for the most part "old souls". In mulling over that, I'm coming to the conclusion that she really meant to say "Losers". Just like Kesey meant to say "melon" or whatever

i wonder if i ever had a tiller?

― Muscus ex Craneo Humano (forksclovetofu), Sunday, September 19, 2010 12:40 PM (35 minutes ago) Bookmark

yeah

This compound, unbeknownst to me, was scattered widely and plentifully in the heyday of the Haight-Ashbury in San Francisco, in mid-1967. It was distributed under the name STP, which was said to stand for Serenity, Tranquility, and Peace. It was also claimed to represent Super Terrific Psychedelic, or Stop The Police. The police called it: Too Stupid to Puke. Actually, the name was taken from the initials of a motor additive which was completely unrelated chemically. Incredibly, and sadly, one of the avowed experts in the area of the "sensuous drugs" actually stated that STP, the motor oil additive, was really one and the same as STP, the highly dangerous psychedelic. The motor oil additive, he wrote in a book of his, had properties somewhat related to those of LSD, mescaline, and the amphetamines. How fortunate that the love children of the time didn't do much reading, for they might have gotten into yet deeper pharmacological troubles with drug raids on the local gasoline stations.

Two complications became apparent during this first appearance and they led to serious difficulties. One, there was no equation made between STP and DOM. No one knew what this drug was which had been distributed in a cavalier way throughout the city. There could be no educated guess as to the best treatment of overdose emergencies. And secondly, the initial tablets that had been distributed apparently contained 20 milligrams of DOM per tablet; later, it was dropped to 10 milligrams. Either of these, in retrospect, is now known to be a thoroughly whopping dose. The overdose situation was aggravated by the slow onset of DOM. The user may be aware of some initial effects at the half-hour point, there will be what might be called a + or ++ at the end of the first hour, and the full impact of the drug is not appreciated until some two hours have elapsed. But many of the recipients of the free handouts of DOM were familiar with LSD which can show its alert in 15 to 20 minutes, or even sooner with a large dose, and there is already a deep and compelling intoxication felt at the half-hour point. They, quite reasonably, expected this familiar activity pattern with STP and assumed, when there was little if any activity noted at the half-hour point, that the potency was less than expected. They took one or even two additional dosage units. Thus, some of the overdose victims of that period may well have taken as much as 30 mg of DOM. The slow onset of action, coupled with the remarkably long duration, caught many innocent users unprepared.

I feel like I've gained a tiller. Either that, or I'm going through one hell of a midlife crisis.

yeah, i can't wait to talk to whoever's in charge

never done drugs, never had a tiller

This is like the opposite of "the third who walks always beside you" as far as these experiences go. Maybe. I think.

doing drugs as a teenager was just about the only thing that ever spoke to me. that and kenan's posts on iltmi

i feel like what's being asked here is "Do you feel like you once knew and now you no longer know but you know you don't know and you're not even sure what it was you knew anymore?" And the answer there is absolutely YES but i'm not positive that's the question.

And so, this mysterious, brain-destroying substance, code named STP was in reality... (wait for it...) ... DOM!

Makes you think, eh?

lol

i'll never be able to degrease my squeaky wheel in quite the same way

dom de dom dom dommmmmmmm

(with 10 mg) If on this page I shall have expressed it to you then it is true that DOM has the glory and the doom sealed up in it. All that's needed to unseal it is to surround it with a warm living human for a few hours. For that human for those hours all the dark things are made clear.

if you happen to find yrself on ilx under the influence, pls listen to this and report back. no special meaning, just curious to see what you'd make of it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTPF5mYFN0Y