THIS IS THE lol WHERE WE SUM UP ILX excelsiors SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THEM

time for a new thread

yay

bank ate

*ruins new excelsior thread in time-honoured ritual*

bank ate

― J0rdan S., Sunday, September 19, 2010 5:26 PM (3 minutes ago)

bank ate a TOMATO right?

http://shelobs.com/img/backside.gif

lollin eyearrel

tbh i'm lolling mightily at sgt biscuits not realising we were in the clusterfuck thread. sgt biscuits you are an invaluable straight man and i doff my cap.

i feel like i could make 10% of the state of minnesota commit suicide just by making a video montage of 2010 favre mistakes with the prince theme song as the music

― J0rdan S., Sunday, September 19, 2010 10:41 PM

wait this thread actually seems to have had a good start, I thought excelsior threads always start with a clusterfuck

wait until tomorrow, everyone was busy watching football today

http://shelobs.com/img/backside.gif

heee

butt.

if we do have a footer board call we call it i love feminism

― r|t|c, Monday, 20 September 2010 12:47 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yesssssssss

Am I too late to ruin this thread?

Are you willing to share credit?

LOL Grady, I have seen plenty of Jewish grandparents rocking the pince-nez/watch-on-a-chain. It's only WASP if the wearer has *inherited* the watch-on-a-chain, like my grandmother, who married during the Depression and had to wait for things like engagement rings (hers was already 150 years old by the time it got to her; it's now mine) as a result.

― are you robot? (suzy), Monday, September 20, 2010 9:23 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

my grandmother kept a chain around her neck... cuz SHE WAS A SLAVE

― Muscus ex Craneo Humano (forksclovetofu), Monday, September 20, 2010 10:30 PM (54 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER

― Muscus ex Craneo Humano (forksclovetofu), Monday, September 20, 2010 10:31 PM (53 minutes ago) Bookmark

Belle & Sebastian Mad About You (also known informally as Pentamedallion) is the upcoming eighth studio album by Belle & Sebastian, slated to be released on October 11, 2010 on Rough Trade in the UK and on October 12, 2010 on Matador Records.

1. "(Dirty Sanchez) I Didn't See It Coming"
2. "Come On My Sister"
3. "Mystery Bimbo Now Occupies Your Guest Room"
4. "I Want Fred Parker of St. Paul, MN to Stop"
5. "Little Lou, Ugly Jack, Prophet John" (Featuring Norah Jones)
6. "Mad About You" (Featuring Carey Mulligan)
7. "I'm Not Living in the Real World"
8. "Ghost of Rockschool"
9. "Read the Blessed Pages"
10. "I Can See Your beeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeep"
11. "Sunday's Pretty Icons"

― Socrates, you asshole (Z S), Tuesday, September 21, 2010 4:44 AM (14 seconds ago) Bookmark

i have a lot of friends who are music nerds to some degree, and most of them have aeroplane in their collections but probably only 1 or 2 listen to pavement. these are all people in their early 20's though, myself included, so we were not quite at nascent-music-fan age during pavement's heyday, which is a big part of it i suspect. NMH is definitely reaching a different audience, one which i suspect overlaps with 00s indie touchstones like the arcade fire more than it does with 90s ones like pavement.

― ciderpress, Wednesday, September 22, 2010 6:50 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

only 10,000 people bought in the aeroplane, but each one of them went on to form Arcade Fire.

― tylerw, Wednesday, September 22, 2010 6:51 PM (12 seconds ago) Bookmark

unalem r sad deafened

― dayo, Thursday, September 23, 2010 2:56 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

fuken iPhone autoceoceg

― dayo, Thursday, September 23, 2010 2:56 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Colm autO'ceoceg

I was transcribing lyrics to cocteau twins songs btw

lol!

omg brilliant dayo

too short didnt read

― mittens reduxeo, Thursday, September 23, 2010 2:48 AM (13 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that's because too short has better things to do

― rammer jammer jan hammer (Hurting 2), Thursday, September 23, 2010 2:54 AM (13 hours ago) Bookmark

haha wait did I confuse them upthread, is Aly the one on HELLCATS

― bang (HI DERE), Friday, September 24, 2010 11:19 AM

and AJ is in Secretariat I think? singing a terrible song that they played a video for after the first episode of HELLCATS

― bang (HI DERE), Friday, September 24, 2010 11:19 AM

Ha for a minute there I misread that as AJ is Secretariat.

― (¬_¬) (Nicole), Friday, September 24, 2010 11:21 AM

shalit's earned the right to wear whatever piece of childrens apparel he wishes

― strongohulkingtonsghost, Friday, September 24, 2010 12:29 PM (42 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

not according to megan's law

― da croupier, Friday, September 24, 2010 1:11 PM (29 seconds ago)

if i had shit tons of money and a harvard education i could think of at least three or four things i'd rather do than write the world's most tl;dr book and eat a bullet

― ^^^that's lightweight jammin (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 25 September 2010 06:44 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

1. Buy a bunch of chicken wings and share them with strangers

― ^^^that's lightweight jammin (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 25 September 2010 06:45 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

2. Take a long walk and listen to a book on tape

― ^^^that's lightweight jammin (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 25 September 2010 06:45 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

3. Rent a car and spend a weekend eating BBQ in different towns

― ^^^that's lightweight jammin (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 25 September 2010 06:46 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

4. Learn to play the hammer dulcimer

― ^^^that's lightweight jammin (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 25 September 2010 06:46 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

5. write a 1900 tweet suicide note

― iatee, Saturday, 25 September 2010 06:47 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

there it is

― high efficiency unit (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 25 September 2010 06:48 (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

ahaha

Jesse's other long running fave is to ask people to adjust the volume of something by a "cunt hair" but that still makes me giggle which is probably why we've remained friends for so long,

― Jenny, Sunday, September 26, 2010 12:54 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

That is not a joke. In the Seventh Day Adventist culture I grew up in, we measured things in cunt hairs, taint breadths, and cock's reach.

― DUMPLINGS! (Jesse), Sunday, September 26, 2010 1:08 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Xpost i still can't tell if that's a zing against me or iatee

In re: the XX:

--

saw them play to a gigantic crowd at a festival last weekend. people were going crazy, clapping along and singing every word like it was oasis or something. a bit incongruous but i guess they're on the way to being superstars. also they were on my ferry on the way to the festival, eating sandwiches.

― jabba hands, Friday, September 17, 2010 4:19 AM (7 hours ago)

man how do you sing along to these songs?

― subtle like the g in 'goole' (dayo), Thursday, September 16, 2010 8:54 PM (1 week ago)

By vocalising the words to the songs at the same time as the people on stage, I’ll warrant

― Underground - Parking (2010) (sic), Thursday, September 16, 2010 9:57 PM (1 week ago)

that's...that's insane

― subtle like the g in 'goole' (dayo), Thursday, September 16, 2010 9:59 PM (1 week ago)

crazy

the guy's naivete seems so fake (whether or not it ACTUALLY HAPPENED) even from the trailer, can't imagine how it feels plausible on screen.

― da croupier, Sunday, September 26, 2010 4:59 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

why are all the critics saying "you'll never believe the final forty minutes" or when the SPOILERS (SPOILERS!!!) I've seen suggest that the final forty minutes pretty much sync up with every internet-romance horror story ever.

― da croupier, Sunday, September 26, 2010 5:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

then again a lotta people loved when Super Size Me revealed eating a ton of fast food every day makes you sick

― da croupier, Sunday, September 26, 2010 5:02 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

someone is gonna write a killer book called Pathological Behavior in the Age of the Internet and it's gonna be frightening + bizarre + awesome

― Mordy, Sunday, September 26, 2010 5:03 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you'll never believe what happened when we finally went to Nigeria to meet Prince Abakaliki

― da croupier, Sunday, September 26, 2010 5:05 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

from the Catfish thread

excellent

they say more than half of america's young people gets their news from the daily show

me, i get my news from messageboard comments about the daily show

― progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Monday, September 27, 2010 9:14 AM (3 minutes ago)

Band/artist names that sound like metal bands, but aren't

1. Burial

― ilxor has truly been got at and become an ILXor (ilxor), Monday, September 27, 2010 9:26 AM Suggest Ban Permalink

2. Metallica

― pfunkboy (Herman G. Neuname), Monday, September 27, 2010 9:26 AM Bookmark

hhahaha

ban pfunkboy

It's not like he signed a contract or anything.

btw who gets a tattoo on their forehead without signing a contract

― Monkeys? Um, no. (HI DERE), Tuesday, September 28, 2010 5:07 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that guy and me

― markers, Tuesday, September 28, 2010 5:08 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Jam'n 95 appreciates your support

― Monkeys? Um, no. (HI DERE), Tuesday, September 28, 2010 5:08 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

I like my mum's comment whenever she's told she has a young sounding voice (which she has): "Now, if only I had a young looking face". Never gets old... unlike my mum's face (sorry mum)

― Tom A. (Tom B.) (Tom C.) (Tom D.), Tuesday, September 28, 2010 9:53 AM

only 100 ppl read the little prince but everyone who did then went out and started an etsy shop

― otis pain (cozen), Tuesday, September 28, 2010 4:34 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

Man riffing on that Velvet Underground quote is a one-way ticket to excelsior.

1000 people heard that quote and all of them got excelsiored

only 100 ppl read the little prince but everyone who did then went out and started an etsy shop

― otis pain (cozen), Tuesday, September 28, 2010 4:34 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark

― by another name (amateurist), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 22:36 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Man riffing on that Velvet Underground quote is a one-way ticket to excelsior.

― Mormons come out of the sky and they stand there (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 22:38 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

1000 people heard that quote and all of them got excelsiored

― Muscus ex Craneo Humano (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 22:39 (14 seconds ago)

i knock on the door of the apartment building whose address he gave me because there are no buzzers even though there are multiple apartments in the building, and nothing happens so i text him "yo i'm here" and then i try to open the front door to the building and it is unlocked and i walk in and stand in the lobby area waiting for him, i am nervous and i am wishing i had taken an anti-anxiety pill and i wonder if i have one in my pocket so i check my pocket but i don't and i think about running outside to buy a 40 but then Himanshu comes down the stairs. he is barefoot and he gets halfway down the stairs and crouches and looks at me for a second and smiles and gives me the finger guns and goes, "yo" and he smiles and i say "hey how's it going?"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH STFU

― Mr. Que, Tuesday, September 28, 2010 8:49 PM (2 hours ago)

belongs in the Truth Bombs thread tbh

wait what is that

http://www.pillbox.org.uk/images/projects/minefields/minefield-mapping.png

'We regret to inform you that your planned entry for the 2011 Royal Chelsea Flower Show has been rejected by the judging committee.'

you should stick to dchat, where the d stands for my dick

― url sweatshirt (Whiney G. Weingarten), Sunday, January 30, 2011 7:11 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

what would a chat w/whiney's dick be like?

short

just decided I would 8 Mile that one before anyone got the chance.

you have a short dick?

More like 4 Mile!

what would anyone want to say to whiney's dick? "where do you think ur going?"?

odd that everyone assumes that whiney's dick talks like a twitter feed

lol twitter posts are short?

Don't want no short dick chat man

pitchfork isn't all dudes, cf dominique leone and jessica harvell

― omar little, Sunday, January 30, 2011 2:44 PM (2 minutes ago)

excelsior

― normal_fantasy-unicorns (contenderizer), Sunday, 30 January 2011 22:48 (9 minutes ago)

that's recycled excelsiors, don't bother~

― omar little, Sunday, 30 January 2011 22:49 (9 minutes ago)

where is this happening

^^^and now he gets interested

typical

want to get my seats at the zing gallery

found the thread - A+++ trolling

used to make sure to write a variation of the word penis on every page inside every schoolbook i had... penistupendous, penispectacular, penisuperb, etc. I was a B student.

― الله basedأكبر (forksclovetofu), Sunday, January 30, 2011 11:34 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

wtf would it take to be a C student in that school

― iatee, Sunday, January 30, 2011 11:36 PM (15 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

what about turkey differs from any other secular constitutional democracy?

― max, Saturday, January 29, 2011 9:43 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Ever heard the term "Turkish prison?"

― thirdalternative, Saturday, January 29, 2011 10:13 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Ever heard the term "Turkish delight?"

― ice cr?m, Saturday, January 29, 2011 10:21 AM Bookmark

the first time i went to (strip club) i was doing exactly that overanalysis, and was incredibly nervous and awkward and stood in a corner with my arms folded affecting some kind of bullshit academic skepticism, and this fucking huge bouncer came up to me and said "you know this is my job"

― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 1 February 2011 01:29 (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

zvookster is a grown ass man? idk why but i've always imagined you a young dude, maybe it was profuse use of abbrevs that threw me off?
― flopson, Wednesday, 2 February 2011 20:26 (7 minutes ago) Bookmark

my mum uses mad abbrevs in her txt messages yo #justsayin

― tbch, i only see piranhas (tpp), Wednesday, 2 February 2011 20:30 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

go to bed u

― zvookster, Wednesday, 2 February 2011 20:32 (1 minute ago) Bookmark

people who get all hung up on meg white not being a technical enough drummer are one step away from demanding slap bass on white blood cells ie not getting it

― O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, February 2, 2011 5:01 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"man i love that part in hotel yorba where flea totally hammers down the funk jam yeahhhhh!!"

― O_o-O_0-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, February 2, 2011 5:02 PM (48 seconds ago)

the first time i went to (strip club) i was doing exactly that overanalysis, and was incredibly nervous and awkward and stood in a corner with my arms folded affecting some kind of bullshit academic skepticism, and this fucking huge bouncer came up to me and said "you know this is my job"

― difficult listening hour, Tuesday, 1 February 2011 01:29 (7 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― Mark G, Tuesday, February 1, 2011 4:29 AM Bookmark

"I get paid to hate fun. Why U hate fun?"

Ey what i stand for? NEWSOM! (Joanna Squad)
Have one on me shawty man i swear to god
On the harp wit some critics and some hood hipsters (Whassup)
Where you at? Where your harp? You aint hood, hipster

― Damn this thread seems so....different without ilxor (ilxor), Wednesday, February 2, 2011 10:37 PM (Yesterday)

thank u morley

\m/ (°_o) \m/

i hear rap more than i read twitter so now i can't read any tweet about anything no matter how grave without hearing a hashtag-rap cadence in my head.

― difficult listening hour, Thursday, February 3, 2011 1:16 PM (12 minutes ago)

u listening to the wrong rap, son

― originoo gun kl0pper (k3vin k.), Thursday, February 3, 2011 1:28 PM (30 seconds ago)

To answer the original question, why is a fart so hideous/disgusting?

Because the smell you perceive is the result of small particles entering your olfactory system. Those particles come directly from the anus of the emitter.

There you go. That's why.

― Mark G, Friday, 4 February 2011 11:43 (28 minutes ago)

In re: The King's Speech:

--

Saw it last night with my wife, who is from Mexico and learned English at 19; she has it 95% of the way but usually watches TV with English captions on. She wanted to see it because of the Oscar buzz and didn't really realize that not only would the characters have thick accents, but that the main one would have a stutter. So for her it was an $8 nap, but I liked it a decent amount. She woke up at the end and was wondering if Lionel and Albert were going to make out. Then she was wondering if they were going to have a foursome (with Elizabeth and Hitler); I guess that's my movie review.

― frogbs, Friday, February 4, 2011 7:25 AM (11 minutes ago)

hahaha

lol

I think the best solution is when whiney and deej come back, permanently killfile them from each other

― dayo, Saturday, February 5, 2011 10:25 AM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

won't stop them. then we'll get the 'hypothetical' beef

― r0b /via/ orl (San Te), Saturday, February 5, 2011 10:25 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"if whiney just made a sarcastic dismissal of a Gucci mixtape TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF"

― r0b /via/ orl (San Te), Saturday, February 5, 2011 10:26 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark

awesome

I used to play cards all the time at a friends house with this group of dudes. One of them was a real douchebag, wearing sunglasses and just an all around annoyance to play cards with...he took it all way too serious. So I needled him all day long (beer helped) and at one point he made some comment about how I was a dick, so i jumped over the tabled and cracked him in his eye. We are friends now.

― Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice (chrisv2010), Friday, February 4, 2011 9:13 AM (2 days ago)

kind of...he's still a douche to play cards with.

― Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice (chrisv2010), Friday, February 4, 2011 9:13 AM (2 days ago)

re. whiney

lol well ill repeat - why even bother letting him back then?

― https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7z192I-mQM (Lamp), Sunday, February 6, 2011 6:33 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

got to, this america man

― flopson, Sunday, February 6, 2011 6:35 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol that youtube embed

http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/4341/kermcross.jpg

― A Alphabetical Leader (Abbbottt), Sunday, February 6, 2011 1:24 PM

can't let the above chat go by without mentioning lil wayne also wrote a hand-written note from prison to sports illustrated on how he loved tennis

http://diptnyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/lil-wayne-from-prison-dipt-nyc.jpg

― zvookster, Monday, 7 February 2011 05:32 (14 minutes ago)

excellent hand-style imo

― Elegant Bitch (Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved), Monday, 7 February 2011 05:33 (13 minutes ago)

god i fucking love that letter

― no beans, push to fart (J0rdan S.), Monday, 7 February 2011 05:34 (13 minutes ago)

yeah he has captivating handwriting

― no beans, push to fart (J0rdan S.), Monday, 7 February 2011 05:34 (13 minutes ago)

he dictated that shit you idiots

― El Tomboto, Monday, 7 February 2011 05:36 (10 minutes ago)

didn't realize u shared a cell

― zvookster, Monday, 7 February 2011 05:38 (8 minutes ago)

looooool

from the maggie smith thread:

Her best performance: The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne.

― Rich Lolwry (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 7 February 2011 20:23 (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I saw that when it came out, and the trailer is on the Private Function DVD; struck me at the time as too much standrad spinster-melodrama.

― kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Monday, 7 February 2011 20:25 (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

shes p gr8 in sister act

― cowboys_defeats_magic_earth2.jpg (Lamp), Monday, 7 February 2011 20:27 (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

She deepens the material. Terrific novel too by the way.

― Rich Lolwry (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 7 February 2011 20:30 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

For a second I'm all "Sister Act was a novel?"

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 7 February 2011 20:36 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

if you wanted to temp disable it, you could rename confirmbanrequest.jsp to confirmbanrequest.xxx

no coding necessary

― a led zep of one (Edward III), Monday, February 7, 2011 3:42 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

does that send everyone porno when they hit 51?

― goole, Monday, February 7, 2011 3:43 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

I'm 51 next year...

Nice knowing ya!

saw the end of Q&A on Monday and Gerard Henderson is now being represented in public by The Ghost Of Half Of Gerard Henderson

― basically just a 2/47 freak out (sic), Wednesday, 9 February 2011 13:17 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

stroke?

― united colours of benelton (Schlafsack), Wednesday, 9 February 2011 14:15 (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

flattered but spoken for

― down in the eustachian tube at midnight (electricsound), Wednesday, 9 February 2011 14:17 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"It must've been amazing for that person whose car broke down and Marlon Brando pulls over to help out."

Except that's Brando's version of events. In all likelihood he fell down outside a McDonalds after eating 10 double cheeseburgers.

― Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Wednesday, 9 February 2011 13:33 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Because he was fat, you see.

― Tyler/Perry's "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" (jaymc), Wednesday, 9 February 2011 13:41 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

LOL here if you favor replacing our EXCELSIOR system with a ROFFLE system

lol!

i still see this as the official excelsior thread until it is locked though.

Oh, no problem then.