Cricket : Graeme Swann, The Wizard In Oz! Winter 2010/11 The Ashes!

The Ashes: England in Australia 2010-11

November

5-7 v Western Australia, Perth

11-13 v South Australia, Adelaide

17-20 v Australia A, Hobart

25-29 1st Test, Brisbane
Play starts at 0000 GMT

December

3-7 2nd Test, Adelaide
Play starts at 2330 GMT (2-6 December)

10-12 v Victoria, Melbourne

16-20 3rd Test, Perth
Play starts at 0230 GMT

26-30 4th Test, Melbourne
Play starts at 0000 GMT

January

3-7 5th Test, Sydney
Play starts at 0000 GMT

10 v Prime Minister's XI, Canberra

12 1st Twenty20 international, Adelaide (d/n)

14 2nd Twenty20 international, Melbourne (d/n)

16 1st ODI, Melbourne (d/n)

21 2nd ODI, Hobart (d/n)

23 3rd ODI, Sydney (d/n)

26 4th ODI, Adelaide (d/n)

30 5th ODI, Brisbane (d/n)

February

2 6th ODI, Sydney (d/n)

6 7th ODI, Perth (d/n)

England Ashes Test squad:
Andrew Strauss (captain, Middlesex), Alastair Cook (vice-captain, Essex), James Anderson (Lancashire), Ian Bell (Warwickshire), Tim Bresnan (Yorkshire), Stuart Broad (Nottinghamshire), Paul Collingwood (Durham), Steven Davies (wk, Surrey), Steven Finn (Middlesex), Eoin Morgan (Middlesex), Monty Panesar (Sussex), Kevin Pietersen (Hampshire), Matt Prior (wk, Sussex), Graeme Swann (Nottinghamshire), Chris Tremlett (Surrey), Jonathan Trott (Warwickshire).

Monty back in business.

Biggest selectorial fuck-up: Tredwell ahead of Rashid in the Performance Squad. Unconscionable.

Panesar is an error as well but he won't get a game - Australia's best hope of success is neutralising Swann

Am a big fan of Tremlett's inclusion and I think he'll be in the team after two, maybe three Tests

dunno, always the chance of 2 spinners. At least swanny and monty are attacking spinners not the old fashioned defensive ones of the past.

My prediction is jimmy and stuart struggle bigtime

I always like the look of Tremlett, with his trousers hoiked up his long-legs and his large upper torso and long-ish sideburns, when you see him running in he looks rather Victorian.

But perhaps lacks the zip I always feel he should have.

Bresnan though? Is that wise?

We've been moaning about Bresnan in the office today, gets wickets in limited overs games, but really doesn't convince as a Test bowler. It's just not a particularly convincing seam attack, so you wonder who else there is, really. I suppose Shahzad.

Actually yeah Bresnan is fucking idiocy and if he plays we may as well hand the urn over

Broad will have a good series IMO

Hopefully Bresnan won't play... Anderson + Broad injured within two seconds of the plane landing

btw roll call:
Who here is Scottish?

You don't know by now?

haha ok apart from you ,ismael & i

because it just always seems there more scots on the english cricket threads until the ashes come around.

Also, Tremlett seems to have discovered a bit of extra fire, and is exactly the kind of bowler to match up against the Australian quicks

the Australian quicks

Rhyming slang?

Swann is the key IMO. Lets hope his elbow doesn't disintegrate in the next couple of months.

Im more worried about our middle order (and cook)

I'm English btw

with a scottish surname!

Strathbungo

Scunnered

Shilpit

Sannys

Skidmarks

Stramash

Sookmaboab

Soor-Ploom

^ double barrelled

well i suppose he must be posh to play cricket

Neil Seeyoujimmy-Anderson

:-)

Who's going to be bold and say we should be picking Swann and Panesar for (at least) Sydney?

me

me too!

sydney is rapidly becoming much more a fast bowler's track

aha interesting. Do any of the Aussie grounds give much to spinners these days? Adelaide or Perth might be candidates. Would you pick 2 spinners, LJ?

http://www.cricinfo.com/ausvpak09/engine/match/406200.html

yeah ok two spinner five-fers in the second innings, but both predominantly of the lower order, one hideously expensive, and the other brought about by (iirc) idiotic batting

the damage = done by quickies

no I bloody wouldn't

Whoever assembled this photo montage of the squad is clearly not a fan of Bresnan either -

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/gallery/2010/sep/23/england-cricket-team-ashes#/?picture=366978565&index=0

ahahaha

he's a willing trier without the attritional genius of a hoggard

lj you praying Bresnan isn't needed?

shahzad should have been in the squad instead of bresnan. tim's got no test bowling pedigree or potential. at least shahzad has a bit of ticker, as the mongrels would say.

the key is which young bowling attack can outdo the other... should be a ripper.

Adelaide is becoming more and more spin-friendly. Perth? I bloody well hope not.

PS - Australia to win 5-0.

I always mean to start every thread off with this but I forget. But all cricket threads must now do so.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8saIerPdFbk

Hooray for mudslinging!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/england/9128323.stm

Are boxing injuries part of the strategy to gives these Aussies more hope or what?

Colleague of mine dislikes Anderson so much (esp in Oz) that I think he thought it was divine intervention. Couldn't possibly agree, myself tho.

Wait, someone remembers Allan Lamb?

"He must be drinking that Bundaberg rum or something."

oh man, so burned

trescothick is the only player who can hit a hundred without moving his feet. ever.

KP interview, just now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz9En8CIVBw

wish i didn't have to go to work tomorrow

this does feel better than 2005 because it feels more like the beginning than the end, even though the contest was amazing then and is the greatest series ever.

i wonder how many australian players will share a beer today with the england team

this does feel better than 2005 because it feels more like the beginning than the end

also because you won away

if clarke says 'like i say' one more time i am going to stab him

this does feel better than 2005 because it feels more like the beginning than the end

good point

after 2005 it was like where do we go from here, cricket just got pwned

whereas now it's like bring on the others WE GON MERK U

anyway I hope Aus come back eventually

it'd be sad if they became rly shit

2005 was really immeasurably better than this series tho as a neutral

o wait

botham history lesson on sky

australia history started with the scg pavilion amirite

yeah obv zvookster, this series will only live in the memory as a right royal thrashing (like 06/07)

lj otm, aus is not fun to watch when it's always winning everything, it'd just be pathetic if it started to lose everything

matt mitcham is the only red-blooded sports hero australia has left, and half yr country would insult his sexuality

yep and yep

powderfinger's 'my happiness' playing on the pa, dudes are just rubbing it in now

the aussies wont go shit. Not west indies shit, no way.

England's cricket was rarely thrilling btw (the odd episode such as Anderson's more potent spells or the odd lower-order assault aside) - they just with great concentration and great functionality overwhelmed Australia - which is actually kinda awesome and impressive in itself

the aussies wont go shit. Not west indies shit, no way.

― Shakey Moe Szyslak (Algerian Goalkeeper), Friday, 7 January 2011 12:40 (8 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

otm, australia chucks way too much money at its sports training facilities for that to happen

btw those flat pitches in West Indies & Bangladesh are why Englands bowlers have been so good. They are patient, they have good line and length and can handle the frustration and learned from it completely.

xp idk there are so many other sports to choose from, like rugby league

xp idk there are so many other sports to choose from, like rugby league

yeah but cricket is deep set in the lifeblood of this country whereas basketball seemed to conquer the west indies mindset

btw why the fuck are there 7 ODI's? boooooooooring. 2 T20's and 3 ODI's are more than enough.

trescothick is the only player who can hit a hundred without moving his feet. ever.

been trying to make a pun of his name, 'fleetcothick' is the best i've done so far

the money in basketball & football tore the kids away from Cricket, even when Lara was there. It's really sad because my generation and the one before grew up with them thrashing everyone. Now they have to have flat pitches to avoid losing. Beating the WI in the WI was such a thrill after going close a few times. But now it's flat pitches and empty grounds. Really sad to see.

7 odis? jesus. what's the point? they're like soft porn, people who like porn don't like it and people who don't like porn dont like it.

it'd be worse if there were seven 2020s rite

#
0146 Commentary

I think this is it! Aggers is going to do the sprinkler dance! He hands his equipment to Vic Marks... and he's doing it! Vic criticises him for doing it in front of the SCG members rather than the Barmy Army...

MUST SEE

the barmies would pelt him with groceries, surely

I think the reason the barmy army were in the ground so early today because they hadn't been to bed yet.

Breaking news - Michael Clarke reveals that he has just told the Aussie players that he's retired from Twenty20 internationals - so Australia need to find a T20 captain from somewhere between now and Wednesday.

Twitter-
From former England star Andrew Flintoff: "I thought the presentation was awful. Forgot Cooky's medal, no champagne, no individual medals. The boys deserved better than that! Disgraceful!"

Not to mention no Ponting. wtf was that about. I really hope the players go into the england dressing room and have a drink. Show the authorities how to do it.

lock thread imo

in this series england teaches you how to live

btw who is the Aussie coach? I used to know who it was with every other team.

Aggers sprinkler dance
http://www.twitvid.com/BZGWO

tim nielsen, for the next few hours at least xp

BBC Test Match Special's Michael Vaughan
"Here's a joke. What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer? Retired."

BBC Test Match Special's Michael Vaughan
"It's like Where's Wally looking for an Australian in this crowd. My dentist has a Where's Wally poster on his ceiling."

BBC Test Match Special's Michael Vaughan
"What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch? A fisherman."

so is australia now ranked 5th or

― goldenarsehat.jpg (Schlafsack), Friday, 7 January 2011 12:24 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

confirmed, sri lanka has moved up to 4th

xp idk there are so many other sports to choose from, like rugby league

its cool bro you can take eckies and play for australia

no bros would know the difference now bro

Maybe you've seen this, I hadn't:

Brendon Julian: “So where do we go from here, boys? Junior, what do you reckon?”

Mark Waugh: “Mate, if I was a selector there are at least five, maybe six, of those blokes who’d be looking for something to do next week because they wouldn’t be playing cricket in Perth.”

Damien Fleming: “Such as?”

Waugh: “Mate, Doherty for a start. I mean jeez, we’ve picked a bloke because we don’t know who our spinner should be. Should we seriously pick a guy who has played 10 state-level tests in his life to go up against Pietersen, Cook and those guys?”

Julian: “Bit harsh.”

Waugh: “Bit harsh? He was chucking that many pies at Pietersen he may as well have opened a bakery on days two and three.”

Fleming: “North?”

Waugh: “Gone”

Julian: “Bollinger? Siddle?”

Waugh: “Gone”

Gladstone Small: “Can I interrupt for a minute?”

Waugh: “No”.

Julian: “Junior is on a bit of a roll here, Stone.”

Waugh: “No, I mean fair go, we’ve got it wrong here. If I’m the only bloke not happy that we’ve been rolled for an innings and 70-odd runs on a runway of a pitch and that, let’s be honest, we’re going to have a summer of the Poms handing us our arses in this series then fair go boys, something’s wrong here. What’s Clarke doing after getting out? He’s on Twitter saying sorry for not walking? Mate, if he did that in our side there’d be hell to pay. AB would chuck his Twitter box off the balcony or whatever it is. Sorry for not walking? Jesus Christ, man.’’

:D

mark waugh for presidetn

siddle gone is idiocy though

wait - that was after the 2nd test wasn't it, siddle's stock has risen since then

it's also fake isn't it?

Oh is it? Damn. Just got it from an Australian friend.

Certainly impressed by Siddle.