Are you a metrosexual?

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Or just annoyed by a bad term for a situation that sounds like a rejected Momus essay?

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Or just amused by the idea of a sexual entity named after the free paper on the London tube?

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They've started distributing The Metro in Boston now. I confess I'll never look at it the same way ever again.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Metrosexuality was the name of one the worst television programs to ever grace this nation's screens. I therefore deem the concept dud.

― RickyT, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I was digging it until they claimed that anal sex was the metrosexual's holy grail. Wha?

― Mark, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Doesn't it sound like the name of a romo band?

― Nicole, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's just the way I walk.

― generic joke dept., Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It does sound like a band, now that you mention it. Could Nancy Boy have pre-empted them with the Promosexual album? And whatever happened to them anyway?

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The whole idea is a total failure for the simple fact that Beckham has a beard

― Chupa-Cabras, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

its gq not esquire he apperead in . this is vital and key.

― anthony, Monday, 29 July 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

Bunch of effeminate sissy-boys. Gay right down to their pink little panties. Not a one of them can honestly say that they are a real man, and they know it! Did I hurt your itsy-bitsy feelings? Go cry to mommy, you neutered pantywaists.
Pastahead

― Pastahead, Monday, 4 August 2003 13:32 (twenty-three years ago)

oh be nice

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:37 (twenty-three years ago)

calm it pastahead

you big mary

― j0e (j0e), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:38 (twenty-three years ago)

JtN invented the term in papercuts 2 didn't he?

hehe, pastahead said "pantywaists" i think that's my favourite really useless term of abuse...

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:40 (twenty-three years ago)

Taking sides: Pastaheads vs. Chuckleheads

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:45 (twenty-three years ago)

Being gay is the latest thing - these guys are pussies for staying straight when they could be raking in the cash for NBC

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 4 August 2003 13:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Taking sides: Pastaheads vs. Chuckleheads

At least you can stuff the pastaheads into a pasta maker and get linguine.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Pastahead may replace asshat as my epithet of choice.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Pastahead vs. rastahead.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Surely pasta (with darling home-made pesto) is the stuff of Nigel Slater/ Nigella Lawson inspired metrosexual fantasies, or at least their dinner parties?

Methinks the penne-head doth protest too much.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:51 (twenty-three years ago)

But Ned:

http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/Content/ProdImages/f00285_lg.jpg

― Paul Eater (eater), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Paul, I dare you to stuff THOSE in a pasta maker.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Shut up you stupid pastahead.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Sorry -- I was just dying to call someone a pastahead.

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah right. *washes hair in marinara*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, go and sing "Substitute".

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 4 August 2003 13:58 (twenty-three years ago)

oooh - marinara head and shoulders - can't wait to get my free travel-sized bottle of that

pastahead is a strange choice of moniker - I picture a face covered with big pus-filled tortellini-like sores.

― j0e (j0e), Monday, 4 August 2003 14:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This is probably #1 on my list of Forbidden Words 2003 (apologies to Matt Groening)

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 4 August 2003 14:06 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm never eating tortelini again. This is worse than when one of my mum's collegues informed me she thought crab sticks looked like used tampons. Not that I ever ate crab sticks anyway.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 4 August 2003 14:08 (twenty-three years ago)

My friend Brian says he first came across the term in 1994.

(Metrosexual, that is, not pastahead)

― rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 4 August 2003 14:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, go and sing "Substitute".

Can't I just piss off and listen to Pulp?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 4 August 2003 14:18 (twenty-three years ago)

The term is annoying because it was clearly invented by ad agencies as a way to prop up a down period in ad revenues. Nothing to do with sociology or demographics. "Surely your firm is targeting 'Metrosexuals'!?!?" say Darren Stevens and Larry Tate to their client. "Wha...wha...wha...do you mean, I mean, no, but of course we want to." It is either meaningless, a code word for guppies, or, again, meaningless.

― JibberJabber, Monday, 4 August 2003 14:24 (twenty-three years ago)

next marketing craze: glowmosexuals (or gay people who work in nuclear power stations)

― j0e (j0e), Monday, 4 August 2003 14:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Pastahead + Chowderhead = Good eatin'!

― Paul Ess, Monday, 4 August 2003 14:45 (twenty-three years ago)

metrosexuals are appleheads

― J (Jay), Monday, 4 August 2003 16:37 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.utexas.edu/cola/depts/ams/faculty/davis/cheeseheads.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 4 August 2003 16:53 (twenty-three years ago)

http://mapage.noos.fr/hbob/photo/batemanpat2.jpg

Yeah. What's it to you?

― P (felicity), Tuesday, 5 August 2003 19:38 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

Oh look...

Take the ESPN Sports-Nation Metrosexuality Test

ESPN Sports-Nation??

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 19:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, I suppose I can't be metrosexual then. I fail the "Are you a guy?" question. And it sounded so cool - just rolled off the tongue...

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 19:17 (twenty-three years ago)

funny. my lady gave me that quiz this morning thinking fer shure i was one. i only got 4 outta 12. i guess i need to read more GQ and brush up on my metrosexual tendencies.

― JasonD (JasonD), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 19:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I got a 6, which means I "have potential"! Whoopie. I think the creator of that quiz has metrosexuality and stereotyical-homosexuality confused though. Who the hell goes to the "hot new musical" except a bunch of homos?!?!

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 19:24 (twenty-three years ago)

I got 9 correct. Though like Sarah I fail the "are you a guy" question.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 19:25 (twenty-three years ago)

do you moisturize every day?

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 19:26 (twenty-three years ago)

O for 12. Yikes.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 19:36 (twenty-three years ago)

a rejected Momus essay

There are no rejected Momus essays. I'm the editor and I run them all.

Are you a superflat disorienteering photoblogging fluorescence decoder? Or more of an electroacoustic humanist reproducer? Perhaps a cute formalist design zen synth pierrot? How about an unpop identilego supervictim? Or merely a mongoloid?

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 19:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I still wish the term "pastahead" had more cultural currency.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 19:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Or merely a mongoloid?

Me= more than a mongoloid, with way more power than a supervictim. Does that win you a medal?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 19:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Of course I moisturize every day, damn dude.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 20:03 (twenty-three years ago)

perfect score, if you substitute "thongs" for "boxers"

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 20:07 (twenty-three years ago)

1 out of 12. I'm a scruffy slob, I don't care, I only shave a couple of times a week.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 20:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Perfect score? You like fancy Fridays, miss Felicity.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 20:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Also 1 out of 12. It said something like that I was hopeless. No kidding.

― Bryan (Bryan), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 20:32 (twenty-three years ago)

I would score higher if I had more body hair to get rid of.

― Paul Eater (eater), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 20:36 (twenty-three years ago)

"fancy Fridays"? Is that the opposite of casual Friday?

― felicity (felicity), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 20:37 (twenty-three years ago)

Wasn't one of the questions about what you wanted to do on Friday? I wish there was such a thing as fancy Fridays, I hate casual Fridays :(

Evening Wear Fridays!!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 20:47 (twenty-three years ago)

I feel like I'm somehow disappointing people by only scoring a 6!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 22:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Despite the not-being-a-guy thing, I only got a 5.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 22:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Like Jel, I'm a 1 person. The correct answer was 'rereading an old classic' (well, yes!).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 22:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I got a 2! In addition to rereading an old classic (_Snow Crash_, ha) I occasionally use black man hair product. (The previous edit said "I put black man product in my hair" which really just left open too many opportunities for ridicule.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 22:59 (twenty-three years ago)

And logically you posted it anyway.

I have no black man product in my hair. But Dan's too far away to ask.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 22:59 (twenty-three years ago)

i got 0! this can't be right...before i took the test i thought i might've been one!

― gaz (gaz), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 23:08 (twenty-three years ago)

Spencer, you have really upset me with this news, what the hell?

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 23:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I got an 8.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 23 September 2003 23:28 (twenty-three years ago)

i'd rather watch the musical than a game or lord of the fucking rings, but i'm a 2...a "lost cause"...for sure i thought i would've been an effeminate sissy-boy!

― Vic (Vic), Wednesday, 24 September 2003 00:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Vic, you are an avatar of manly manness.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 24 September 2003 00:54 (twenty-three years ago)

I got a 5 which is, looking closely, not even ON the chart.

However, this term needs to be retired quick like, or at least never applied to me ever again.

I have used black man hair product.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Wednesday, 24 September 2003 00:57 (twenty-three years ago)

momus can you change your name to "nick popcorn" please?+

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Wednesday, 24 September 2003 01:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I got a 7. Always with the potential.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 24 September 2003 01:36 (twenty-three years ago)

Eight out of 12: serious potential (if I weren't female).

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 24 September 2003 01:44 (twenty-three years ago)

I only got 2 out of 12. I thought I was way more metrosexual. Too many of the questions were about personal hygiene, otherwise I think I would have scored higher.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 24 September 2003 02:48 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh look...
Take the ESPN Sports-Nation Metrosexuality Test
ESPN Sports-Nation??
-- phil-two (philtw...), September 23rd, 2003

It's not working for me. :(

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Wednesday, 24 September 2003 03:16 (twenty-three years ago)

why arent women allowed to be metrosexual >:(

― minna (minna), Wednesday, 24 September 2003 03:21 (twenty-three years ago)

because all women are bisexual, natch

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 24 September 2003 03:33 (twenty-three years ago)

this is true < /cinemax >

― cinniblount (James Blount), Wednesday, 24 September 2003 07:12 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

It was worth staying up through the so-so Southpark metrosexual episode just to hear their pride parade chant of "WE'RE HERE! WE'RE NOTQUEER! BUT WE'RE CLOSE! GET USED TO IT!"

― Hunter (Hunter), Monday, 27 October 2003 23:52 (twenty-two years ago)

TASTE LIKE CRAB, TALK LIKE PEOPLE

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 28 October 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

I think my brother is a metrosexual

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Except he carries his belongings around in a plastic bag and can't afford shoes.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"hobosexual"

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Blount and Trife, if you ever meet him on the UGA campus, please steal his poofy jacket and dumb blue sandals.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

so, a "metrosexual" is what used to be known as a "pretty boy" or a "faggot."

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 02:58 (twenty-two years ago)

three months pass...

Hold onto your hats, the McMetrosexual has arrived.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 12:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I am ashamed to be scottish and a resident of this sad sad country.

― hmmm (hmmm), Wednesday, 31 March 2004 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

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