itt post potential horror stories that (probably didn't) turn out fine, for the benefit of random googlers.

Last month I had an email from a lovely lady who turned out to be the lost princess of Lagos! She told me she had £500,000,000 to share with me, so I sent her my bank details, she sent me the cash, and I have been living high on the hog ever since!

When I was a child, I neglected to wear my helmet while riding a bicycle. Of course, I was hit by a truck. But naturally, my mother said a novena to St. Jude and my ENTIRE BRAIN grew back, right from the brainstem, including my skull, and now I'm smarter than I ever was!

I thought I had a lump in my breast! But I didn't go to the doctor, and after a few months, it tuned out that I was GROWING A PEARL around a piece of sand, just like an oyster.

As a 12-year old I experienced problems with a bully at school. My dad told me that bullies were cowards who would always walk away from trouble when confronted. The next day I told the bully that I wasn't gonna stand for his nonsense any more and sure enough he turned on his heel and left me alone. Then after school I was set upon by a group of mystery assailants on the way home who beat me so savagely that I was hospitalised for 3 months and permanently lost the use of my left knee.

When I was 9, my brother accidentally put a bean down my ear. In time, it germinated and sprouted, and I soon had an entire bean plant growing out of the side of my head! However, as beans are a nutritious and tasty snack, I never lacked for food while I was growing up.

During the last general election I wanted to send a clear message to the Labour government that they had betrayed their supporters and let the down the poorest people in our society, who relied upon them the most. So I voted Lib Dem in protest.

;_;

I had such high hopes for this thread, but that just seriously bummed me out.

Oh I was laughing when I typed it.

Yeah, but it's kinda the truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuth...

This from the person who started the thread with a "lump in my breast" gag.

Um, perhaps you could check out the "thread where we curse cancer" thread for my actual experiences with a pretty terrifying cancer scare? I'm really not sure what you're trying to imply, to be honest.

But you know what, leave it. I guess parody threads on ILX don't go like they used to.

It was a joke! I meant that in the grand scheme of things jokes about terrible governments where hardly of the order of jokes about cancer. Didn't say either wasn't a fit subject for black humour.

Or people having their heads knocked off by passing trucks :)

What I meant was that the others were fairly clearly completely absurd and impossible situations, which no reasonable human being would ever take seriously. Lots of people did quite seriously did vote for the Lib Dems, thinking it was a better option.

I wasn't saying you shouldn't joke about it, just saying that it cut a little close for me to have uncomplicated LOLs for me in the way that something patently absurd would.

Anyway, forget it. It was not meant as a criticism.