movies that you saw because you knew they were bad and thought they would be fun to watch but they actually just made you want to kill yourself

- the da vinci code

myra breckinridge

bratz

in high school my friends and i had a masochistic thing with tom arnold movies ... they were never fun to watch and they were always depressing.

Armageddon, ah god I felt like Michael Bay and Jerry Bruckheimer had taken a shit into my eyes for 2 hours.

hot tub time machine
bad boys 2

I tried to watch Ballstic: Ecks vs. Sever last night but failed.

Ballistic, rather

I love Myra Breckinridge.

John Boorman's film of

EXORCIST II:
THE HERETIC

The Principal was the only time I ever did this.

Ecks vs. Sever is really depressing and torpid.

I love Myra Breckinridge.

― macaroni rascal (polyphonic), Tuesday, 9 November 2010 23:18 (23 seconds ago)

^^^

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:1ggovVIwIHSN8M:http://stores.homestead.com/unitedindependentmedia/catalog/thirteen-DVD.jpg&t=1

Ecks vs Sever is terrible, but for several years I had convinced myself that it was so good it's bad. (SPOILER: it isn't)

A cultier choice would be The Forbidden Zone, which I heard many good things about from so-bad-its-good fans but irritated the fuck out of me.

I thought Lady in the Water would be hilarious due to slocki's thread, but I thought it was basically unwatchable. I turned it off halfway through.

national treasure

"I Accidentally Domed Your Son" remains the worst movie I have ever attempted to watch.

I only watched Da Vinci Code so I'd be ready the next time some tosser told me I couldn't criticise if I hadn't seen it.

Don't normally watch bad films on purpose but am at a loss to account for why I've seen Next.

The Happening

anything directed by clint eastwood

Howard the Duck

Oh and our Joel made me watch that Day the Earth Stood Still remake but I hadn't anticipated fun in the first place.

anyone seen all of The Room?

Like 10 times?

have you killed yourself?

Would you like me to?

anything directed by clint eastwood

― rip poopy g stinkgarten 09/11 never forget (nakhchivan)

lol u kids

Jerry Springer: Ringmaster

Screwballs might be the most extreme case I've experienced of this, though. Wanted to join a monastery by the end.

city slickers

The Room is def not an example of this phenomenon.

I watched The Ugly Truth on a plane once. And then I watched 500 Days of Summer straight after (my tolerance of the latter might just be in comparison to the former). Actually, I think every film I've ever seen on a plane apart from Pirates of the Caribbean might qualify here.

http://www.impawards.com/2004/posters/day_after_tomorrow_ver3.jpg

anything directed by clint eastwood

― rip poopy g stinkgarten 09/11 never forget (nakhchivan), Tuesday, November 9, 2010 6:36 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/shallots-2.jpg

^^^shallots

Rhymes with challops

^^^onions

rhymes with funyuns

http://paceshipseastwind25.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/patent-swivel-rowlocks-lg-wp.jpg

rascalolicums

Thread of Shallops

Transformers

little miss sunshine

not sure if 'clint eastwood films are miserable shite' is true challops within the context of ilx

i dunno, i thought 'million dollar baby' would have some interest being abt boxing but jesus it's relentlessly grim

Million Dollar Baby got so many things about boxing wrong.

yeah, it's against the rules to throw someone's head into a stool like that

it was a documentary iirc

http://madeinatlantis.com/movies_central/2003/15905ee70.jpg

I mean, The Love Guru was terrible, really terrible, but at least it seemed like it was SOMEWHAT well-meaning. Cat in the Hat is a frightening grotesque monstrosity, a sadistic bad acid trip smeared with smug Shrek-generation pop culture humor and shockingly tasteless jokes. There are some really entertaining reviews of this movie that I highly recommend seeking out!

did anyone say dirty work

dirty work is an underrated (tho flawed) classic! - & not in the sense of ironic camp.

@Philip upthread: Ninja Terminator is exceptional. Haven't had the chance to catch the Zombie one.

Paper Heart

if you say that five times into a mirror tape store shows up behind you.

sometimes there is nothing worse than a bad genre flick. there are some boring-ass biker and blaxploitation movies out there. dreary zero-budget westerns. non-erotic not-thrilling erotic thrillers. the one thing bad movies with a big budget have going for them is pretty colors and zippy fx. i like shiny things...

there are some boring-ass biker and blaxploitation movies out there. dreary zero-budget westerns. non-erotic not-thrilling erotic thrillers. the one thing bad movies with a big budget have going for them is pretty colors and zippy fx

Which is my disappointment with Red. I ended up skipping The Expendables because of the post-release reviews, so I went with this for my requisite summer action movie (plus Helen Mirren too!), but it was basically Space Cowboys with weapons.

wasn't that exactly 'what it said on the tin' tho

"Nosferatu In Venice". 'Watching' this as I type. Words are unable to describe the collision of WTF that is Klaus Kinski in a blond mullet wig (?) hanging out with a group of gypsies on the outskirts of Venice (It.) then kneading on some Euro-babe's breasts before putting the bite on her. I'm only an hour in.

if you went into this thinking "oh here's an ironic romp" saw the above and said "oh god actually this is just awful and sad and i don't want to live" maybe you really don't have the stomach for ironic romps

― da croupier, Wednesday, November 10, 2010 9:29 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

i dont really mean awful and sad so much as, not fun to watch

― irritable bol syndrome (s1ocki), Wednesday, 10 November 2010 16:19 (Yesterday)

I took the "actually just made you want to kill yourself" in the thread title to mean more than just "oh this movie i got for being bad fun is just bad boring" - I mean you were the guy complaining this was becoming a "list of movies you've seen" thread. Most movies people rent for ironic amusement aren't actually minute-for-minute riveting - most could be reduced to 8 minute "best-of" youtubes, but anyone acting like Battlefield Earth was devoid of ironic entertainment and just a chore probably isn't ironically entertained much.

Every single SyFy original movie seems to fit this bill. They should be so much fun, but they never seem to deliver.

I took the "actually just made you want to kill yourself" in the thread title to mean more than just "oh this movie i got for being bad fun is just bad boring" - I mean you were the guy complaining this was becoming a "list of movies you've seen" thread. Most movies people rent for ironic amusement aren't actually minute-for-minute riveting - most could be reduced to 8 minute "best-of" youtubes, but anyone acting like Battlefield Earth was devoid of ironic entertainment and just a chore probably isn't ironically entertained much.

― da croupier, Thursday, November 11, 2010 9:07 AM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark

bro, let's not keep having this argument, because i dont even know what it's about and i havent even seen battlefield earth and im tired.

I love a good bad movie as much as anyone, I'd like to think. I will sit all the way through pretty much anything after I start it. But I swear, "The Cat in the Hat" is beyond 'bad movie'. If watching a bad movie is like rubbernecking at a car accident, then that movie is like having a cop at the accident scene come up and repeatedly kick you in the balls.

Battlefield Earth, I think without the Scientology link, would just be remembered as another dumb sci-fi movie.

It would never have been made without the Scientology link in the first place!

Or written.

"40 Days and 40 Nights" seemed like it would just be a bad sex comedy, sometimes those are just fun to pick apart and revel in the stupidity. Was going to turn it off but for some reason was curious how it ended. It wound up having one of the worst endings of any movie I can think of; John Harnett's ex girlfriend straight up breaks into his apartment and literally rapes him (this is supposed to be a comedy, for the record), and then his current girlfriend blames him for it. I can't imagine how bizarre this ending would be should the genders be reversed. Just left me with a real bad taste in my mouth.

Also - "Frogs". Thought it would be a fun and campy old horror movie but there aren't really any real quotable lines or even funny parts. Just a ridiculous movie about Frogs trying to kill people.

signed, a group of frogs sitting at a computer

They should be so much fun, but they never seem to deliver.

there are some exceptions to this, primarily Mansquito and Sharktopus

anytime i see this face in a movie i want to die. luckily he is now on a horrible lawyer show with horrible belushi and i can avoid that pretty well and hopefully he will never make another movie again.

http://reporter.blogs.com/.a/6a00d83451d69069e20120a54bf7e6970c-pi

He was good in Stand By Me! But that's probably about it.

Last Tango In Paris

i think kevin dunn's presence in a film as an unctuous authority figure is always a bad sign, even if he's a decent dude IRL. his face is shorthand for "easy way out."

yeah, stand by me gets a pass. not that i would probably ever watch it again, but i did like it at the time and he hadn't grown that hugenormous pumpkin-faced head of his yet. he just always looks demented and creepy and he scares me.

Yeah, it would not surprised me at all if he turned out to be a serial killer.

Maybe he will murder me for that last typo.

I predict the upcoming movie 'unstoppable' will fall into this category

it would be funny if, when you go see it, after the movie ends it goes back to the beginning and the exit doors lock from the outside

and then you realize what the real 'unstoppable' thing was

We recently tried to watch The Garbage Pail Kids movie, which I thought would be loldumb but instead it was disgusting and made me hate everybody.

I Accidentally Domed Your Son - now this can't be ALL bad

Every single SyFy original movie seems to fit this bill. They should be so much fun, but they never seem to deliver.

― She Got the Shakes, Thursday, November 11, 2010 2:37 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

otm. they should all be trailers, tbh.

that new alien invasion movie Skyline coming out looks like a crappy SyFy channel movie with better effects

skyline looks pretty lol for a number of reasons - you can tell it was made on the cheap and directed by an effects studio, because despite all the fancy CGI there's no sets and it stars eric balfour & david zayas

i think kevin dunn's presence in a film as an unctuous authority figure is always a bad sign, even if he's a decent dude IRL. his face is shorthand for "easy way out."

― omar little, Thursday, November 11, 2010 1:37 PM (8 hours ago) Bookmark

dunn was born to play an old, broken down eric mangini

Netflix instant-watch/streaming is the worst/best for this

but what's good is that you can stop
i watched 10 minutes of the Footloose remake but the pain was to great to go on
i watched at least half of Easy A

and 15-20 minutes of many bad/emo low-budget 'indie' movies that made me feel like i was slowly falling into a deep pit of the filmmaker's own despair

wait Easy A was great

yah easy a doesnt belong here

i thought it would be better

seemed too contrived in its 'wackiness'
i really dig the actor who plays her best friend though

anyway, it made me sad

did you watch any of Hellcats? that was terrible but weirdly watchable due to Aly Michalka's scary charisma

hellcats not on canadian netflix :/

Fucking Island Girl. Was expecting so-bad-it's-good, got a wonderful mix of tedium and racism.

Hellcats was basically 60% broody college relationship angst and 40% this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dDt-luKtD8

ZOMG IT'S A CHEER-OFF

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imMUJugGhuU&feature=related

I still can't believe this was a television show, even on the CW

hahahaaaaa wow

search for hellcats on Youtube and you can essentially watch the entire series without any of the irritating backstory/DRAMA and just revel in the ludicrous cheer sequences