Ninja the POLL - rate Godfrey Ho-Joseph Lai travesties you haven't seen

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

(list from here)

Occupying a space somewhere below the space between Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid and the tackiest Hong Kong martial arts "thriller" you've ever seen, the body of work produced by the crack team of Godfrey Ho and Joseph Lai with the word "Ninja" in the title is an under-recognised source of ephemeral fun. The Ho-Lai formula is simple: take one martial arts flick made by someone else, film some new footage of Western actors in silly ninja costumes and splice the two together with a new script and some connecting shots such as characters from the different films talking on the telephone. This recipe has given us a couple of great cinematic moments (ninja vs watermelon! ninjas on rollerskates!) as well as many hours of unwatchable mediocrity.

Anyway, as you haven't seen all of these (I've seen six, I think) feel free to vote for your favourite title.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
INJA TERMINATOR 1
INJA OPERATION 2 - WAY OF CHALLENGE (aka NINJA STRIKE FORCE) 0
INJA OPERATION 3 - LICENSED TO TERMINATE 0
INJA OPERATION 4 - THUNDERBOLT ANGELS (aka NINJA POWERFORCE) 0
INJA OPERATION 5 - GODFATHER THE MASTER (aka POWER OF NINJITSU) 0
INJA OPERATION 6 - CHAMPION ON FIRE (aka NINJA AVENGERS) 0
INJA OPERATION 7 - ROYAL WARRIORS (aka HANDS OF DEATH) 0
CHALLENGE THE NINJA (aka ULTIMATE NINJA CHALLENGE) 0
INJA THE PROTECTOR 0
NINJA THUNDERBOLT 0
RAGE OF A NINJA 0
THE NINJA SHOWDOWN 0
THE NINJA SQUAD 0
THE ULTIMATE NINJA 0
INJA OPERATION - KNIGHT AND WARRIOR (aka SILENT ASSASSIN, aka BLACK NINJA) 0
INJA OF THE MAGNIFICENCE (aka AMERICAN NINJA THE MAGNIFICENT) 0
INJA KNIGHT 4: JOY OF THE LIVING DEAD (aka OFFICIAL EXTERMINATOR 3: JOY FOR THE LIVING DEAD) 0
COBRA AGAINST NINJA 0
DIAMOND NINJA FORCE (aka GHOST NINJA) 0
FULL METAL NINJA 0
GOLDEN NINJA WARRIOR 0
NINJA CHAMPION 0
NINJA COMMANDMENTS 0
NINJA DESTROYER 0
NINJA DRAGON 0
NINJA HUNT 0
NINJA KILL 0
NINJA KNIGHT: THUNDER FOX 0
INJA KNIGHT 2 - BLOOD BROTHERS (aka NINJA KILLER, aka OFFICIAL -EXTERMINATOR:KILL FOR LOVE) 0
INJA KNIGHT 3: HEAVEN'S HELL (aka OFFICIAL EXTERMINATOR 2: HEAVEN'S HELL) 0
ZODIAC AMERICA: THE SUPERMASTER (aka ZOMBIE VS NINJA, aka ZODIAC POWER:THE SUPERMASTER, aka THE GRAVEDIGGER) 0


seandalai, Thursday, 11 November 2010 02:16 (fifteen years ago)

Um, "INJA".

Anyway, this is the glorious apex of the genre:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4s6zFVm9qI

seandalai, Thursday, 11 November 2010 02:17 (fifteen years ago)

The NINJA SQUAD trailer gives a good idea of the smooth cut/paste dynamics:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0jW_WSh9Y0

seandalai, Thursday, 11 November 2010 02:19 (fifteen years ago)

new footage of Western actors in silly ninja costumes

Boy that understates.

"What do you want?"

"...YOUR BODY."

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 11 November 2010 02:26 (fifteen years ago)

NINJA KNIGHT: THUNDER FOX

this one is like mad libs

dayo, Thursday, 11 November 2010 02:27 (fifteen years ago)

NINJA KNIGHT 4: JOY OF THE LIVING DEAD (aka OFFICIAL EXTERMINATOR 3: JOY FOR THE LIVING DEAD)
NINJA OF THE MAGNIFICENCE (aka AMERICAN NINJA THE MAGNIFICENT)

loving the prep/part of speech change in the alternate titles

dayo, Thursday, 11 November 2010 02:28 (fifteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Wednesday, 17 November 2010 00:01 (fifteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Thursday, 18 November 2010 00:01 (fifteen years ago)

fourteen years pass...

i don't know if there's a better godfrey ho/joseph lai thread

i've decided this year i want to go as a godfrey ho/joseph lai ninja

of course i need one of those headbands

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/FlMl709tnhE/hqdefault.jpg

ones that look like this, alt text red headband with the word "Ninja" in a serif italic font in white and two shadowy ninja figures (looking completely unlike godfrey ho/joseph lai ninjas) in front of the word "Ninja"

surely somebody on etsy or something must be willing to violate copyright to make these?

i'm probably also going to get a pink gi. and then a miniskirt to go with it so people know i'm a girl ninja and not dan hibiki from street fighter. and maybe some leg warmers because i don't know it's the 80s, if i'm going to dress '80s i should get some leg warmers. it'll be october, who knows what the weather will be.

but unless i get the headband the outfit won't land. it'll be like when i went as "surrealism" and i wore a bowler hat like in that magritte painting and a wassily kandinsky tank top and a skirt with "the persistence of memory" printed on it and all anybody was interested in was when i would get naked. and that's why i stopped going to halloween parties in sex dungeons.

Kate (rushomancy), Tuesday, 18 March 2025 20:49 (eight months ago)


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.