http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-11845703
This is a thread to share our sincere grief and in no way an excuse to make a series of insensitive and terrible turkey-related jokes.
― Matt DC, Friday, 26 November 2010 10:28 (fifteen years ago)
Gone to that bootiful place in the sky etc.
― Matt DC, Friday, 26 November 2010 10:29 (fifteen years ago)
day after thanksgiving, go figurr
― Goths in Home & Away in my lifetime (darraghmac), Friday, 26 November 2010 10:31 (fifteen years ago)
Wonder if they'll shove a load of sage and onion up his arse before they cremate him.
― Krampus Interruptus (NickB), Friday, 26 November 2010 10:35 (fifteen years ago)
He won't be cremated, he'll be reconstituted into chicken nuggets.
― James Mitchell, Friday, 26 November 2010 10:41 (fifteen years ago)
Good, then at least he won't go to baste.
― Krampus Interruptus (NickB), Friday, 26 November 2010 10:45 (fifteen years ago)
Apparently he was a big smoker. He tried to give up suddenly and without the aid of nicotine patches, but it didn't work.
― I see what this is (Local Garda), Friday, 26 November 2010 10:48 (fifteen years ago)
Norfolk 'n' chance of that happening.
― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 26 November 2010 10:48 (fifteen years ago)
RIP Bernard Matthews: He saved some turkey for all of us.
― Mark G, Friday, 26 November 2010 11:07 (fifteen years ago)
Bernard Matthews should be stuffed (Morrissey, circa 1985)
― Alba, Friday, 26 November 2010 11:22 (fifteen years ago)
is this true or am i missing something? (keep reading everything LG writes in the style of a noel g narrative)
― NI, Friday, 26 November 2010 11:30 (fifteen years ago)
i bleev it was in the manner of leadin us twards a 'cold turkey' pun
― Goths in Home & Away in my lifetime (darraghmac), Friday, 26 November 2010 11:34 (fifteen years ago)
ahhh im a nitwit
― NI, Friday, 26 November 2010 11:35 (fifteen years ago)
well i'm wary of finishing those off since an unmerciful savaging from lj about explaining his unfinished masterpieces. I fear that murkiness of interpretation is the likely result
― Goths in Home & Away in my lifetime (darraghmac), Friday, 26 November 2010 12:07 (fifteen years ago)
― Matt DC, Friday, 26 November 2010 10:29 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
indeed, he was a reformed character
― cthulhu thuggin (DJ Mencap), Friday, 26 November 2010 12:30 (fifteen years ago)
Instead of a 21 gun salute, his funeral's having six golden drummers.
― James Mitchell, Friday, 26 November 2010 12:40 (fifteen years ago)
"all the love went from his eyes"
― Jefferson Mansplain (DG), Friday, 26 November 2010 12:58 (fifteen years ago)
Whatever your opinion of his business empire, there's no denying he had a plenty of pluck.
― Bill A, Friday, 26 November 2010 13:04 (fifteen years ago)
i think it's only fair the title be amended to include something of a job description, so americans can pay their respects via the medium of lols
― calpolaris (nakhchivan), Friday, 26 November 2010 13:33 (fifteen years ago)
There's enough medium lols already.
― Mark G, Friday, 26 November 2010 13:49 (fifteen years ago)
No, these are mean lols.
― Krampus Interruptus (NickB), Friday, 26 November 2010 13:55 (fifteen years ago)
thought he'd bought the farm years ago
― zappi, Friday, 26 November 2010 13:58 (fifteen years ago)
A few years ago Bernard Matthews had some trouble with the law. He was up before the beak, and he decided to be his own defence council. He thought he could wing it, but he stuffed it instead.
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Friday, 26 November 2010 14:18 (fifteen years ago)
If I imagine the sound of gobbling (rimshot style) after each of these posts, the lols are increased by a few percent.
― Bill A, Friday, 26 November 2010 14:23 (fifteen years ago)
poultry reponse so far
― Noel 1 Kanye 10.0 (blueski), Friday, 26 November 2010 14:25 (fifteen years ago)
wattle load of rubbish
― What are you doing here? (dog latin), Friday, 26 November 2010 14:25 (fifteen years ago)
xxp Much like the water content of BM's turkey rolls.
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Friday, 26 November 2010 14:25 (fifteen years ago)
xp There's no need to be a cock about it. We've been searching for turkey puns with a fine comb.
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Friday, 26 November 2010 14:26 (fifteen years ago)
Giblets all just agree that guano what we're doing.
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Friday, 26 November 2010 14:27 (fifteen years ago)
I'm going to stick my neck out here, but this could turkey out to be a very chitlinteresting thread, as long as no-one fowls up.
― Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Friday, 26 November 2010 14:43 (fifteen years ago)
hen fap
― Noel 1 Kanye 10.0 (blueski), Friday, 26 November 2010 14:56 (fifteen years ago)
Hen fap!
― Madchen, Friday, 26 November 2010 16:28 (fifteen years ago)