Would everyone be happier if there was more waltzing?

Ritualized courtship, classic or dud?

Steel toe-caps would be de riguer I fear.

Well yes, if you like. But I'm not sure I want *all* the old rituals back.

It would have been more in keeping with the tone if I'd put 'were' for 'was' in the question, really.

I must say, it's a bit unfortunate that we've responded to the gender inequalities in traditional courtship by throwing the whole thing out. I'd like to imagine that a new sort of gender-neutral courtship tradition could emerge, at some point: it already is, but it's being created through trial-and-error improvisation, it seems. I'd hate for it to coalesce into some rigid courtship norm, but having some acceptable (not necessarily normative!) formal path would, I think, benefit a lot of people.

Waltzing is not dead everywhere, so there is no need to mourn it. I try to go to at least one of the listed balls every year. And yes, it is a terrific way to "sublimate and advance", especially in the proper surroundings.

I think what interests me is that in the past it was very much normalized that young men and women were searching for mates, and so these almost businesslike social situations were created within which they could do this. These days, our desire to think of relationships as not so much "arranged" as spontaneously ignited makes the whole thing weirdly covert: suddenly the pose is that you're not going around evaluating potential partners, but rather that you've taken a sudden and non-businesslike shine to one in particular. It's very much DIY, which is in many senses really great -- but it makes it weirdly easy to go around being single and celibate and happily friends with everyone.

That said, waltz time is sublime and underused.

Yes, my mum says that the problem. Everyone seems to be just *friends* with everyone these days.

It's probably in the inflection of how one sez 'friends.'

Based on the great photos of Dan and Joei at their wedding doing a kick-ass tango, I think there's something to be said for learning at least a few moves.

But did they meet tangoing?

my paternal grandfather was a dancing teacher. like, he taught people how to dance. he ended getting married, anyway.

I will never dance in public. if this means I will never get married, SO BE IT.

I quite like the idea of other people waltzing, though. yeah.

Sadly the fiance and I have not taken dance lessons for our wedding. Although many viewings of "Can't Buy Me Love" starring the one and only Patrick Dempsey has taught me the ways of the "African Ant-eater ritual".

i thought it was fairly popular to take ballroom classes. i know it's not nearly as big a part of society as it was.

Sadly no-one is with me on my lifelong "bring back the dance card" vision-quest. But I don't get out much.

There is no better fun than ballroom dancing - when I was at university my flatmates and I would go out into the suburbs to find those war memorial halls which offer thursday night ballroom dancing. Of course, they would be stacked full of the most available cohort of women...those over 70 and we would make their week by waltzing them until their false teeth fell out. Such fun, and a public service too. Everyone should be forced to learn, at the very least, the foxtrot.

(Sorry Chris, I made off with your "Sadly"! If that reads like I'm making fun of you I'm not I promise)

The world would be a much better place. When I go to college I am going to find people to do ballroom dancing with me (apparently a lot of them have lessons and clubs and such) because that would be great.

'waltz time = sublime' - do you mean good old 3/4 or are you talking about sth more sophisticated and beyond my ken? 3/4 is pretty standard stuff - I can't see why it's more sublime than 4/4.

Haven't we done a waltzing thread? Nick, if we have, your standards are slipping love. I'm sure I've told IL* I could waltz. I may be hallucinatin

Well, obviously I'm very sympathetic to the gist of the original post.

I do think there has been a bit of a revival of interest in partner dancing over the last decade, with the swing revival and the expanded interest in Latin dancing among non-Latinos. On the other hand, it's still somewhat exceptional.

Partner dancing is an amazing way to meet potential lovers, spouses, etc. It forces you to make some sort of contact with other people. Once you know how to dance a little, you are immediately of some value and use to other individuals who are involved with dancing. Dancing itself is mildly mood-altering, and so the psychological changes which occur as a result of it make social intercourse that much easier. Of course, I guess it's not so good for men who are unable to learn how to dance reasonably well.

If I weren't so tired, I would have gone out salsa dancing tonight while my quasi-sweetie is out of town.

Anyway, partner dancing (which is a less confusing term than "social dancing" but a less potentially narrow term than "ballroom dancing") is still there for those who want to take advantage of it--granted, you have to make a special effort, and most of us don't get instruction in that type of dance as teenagers.

(This week I had a fox trot lesson. I'm still learning the basic.)

the pinefox trot - his very own 111/64 style of dancing