Handjobs to "More Than This" by Roxy Music

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Ummm, I met a girl last night and she took me to her place and gave me a handjob, but she put on Roxy Musics "More than this" to do it. Should I be worried.

The Colonel, Friday, 2 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

maybe she was implying that she wants "More than this"?

Chris, Friday, 2 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Assuming this is real and assuming you had no problem with the handjob, if it's listening to Roxy that upsets, wear earplugs.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

This also happened to me less the handjob in college. Some girl put this on while we were hanging out.

Chris, Friday, 2 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

who can say where they're blowing?

it wuz just an HJ, huh?

RJG, Friday, 2 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I could feel at the time
There was no way of knowing
Fallen leaves in the night
Who can say where they're blowing
As free as the the wind
And hopefully learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning
More than this - there is nothing
More than this - tell them on thing
More than this - there is nothing
It was fun for a while
There was no way of knowing
Like a dream int he night
Who can say where we're going
No care in the world
Maybe I'm learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning
More than this - there is nothing
More than this - tell them on thing
More than this - there is nothing
Hmm lets break this down and analyze shall we?

Chris, Friday, 2 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

You should be more worried if she put on Wagner's ring cycle.

Billy Dods, Friday, 2 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

It probably would have been better with the Strand or Virginia Plain or Pyjamarama. But overall, I wouldn't look a gift horse etc.

Spencer Chow, Friday, 2 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

be glad she didnt put "Hand Job" on the stereo and give you a more than this job

mike hanle y, Friday, 2 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

four years pass...
What?

I know, right?, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:33 (seventeen years ago) link

in my first year at university i recieved a handjob to air bud 2: golden reciever

creme1, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:52 (seventeen years ago) link

When I was 17, I had to ask a friend how to give a handjob and she said, "I'm not really sure, I've only done it when drunk." For some reason, I'll never forget that.

ENBB, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:53 (seventeen years ago) link

HAHA

xp

admrl, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:53 (seventeen years ago) link

Shouldn't handjobs be recieved in reverant, wordless silence?

I know, right?, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:53 (seventeen years ago) link

in the dark, too

admrl, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:54 (seventeen years ago) link

GOD'S silence.

I know, right?, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:54 (seventeen years ago) link

When the moon is in the seventh house.

admrl, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:54 (seventeen years ago) link

I have received precious few handjobs in my life. Aren't they just for movie theaters?

kenan, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:55 (seventeen years ago) link

No, usually they're for penises.

admrl, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:55 (seventeen years ago) link

ahahahahahahaha

xp airbud

river wolf, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:55 (seventeen years ago) link

No, they're for when the women are like "meh".

xp

Drooone, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:56 (seventeen years ago) link

1.) cut a hole in that box popcorn bucket

river wolf, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:56 (seventeen years ago) link

and add a razorblade

I know, right?, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:57 (seventeen years ago) link

dude what the hell

river wolf, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:57 (seventeen years ago) link

we're just talking about handies here and yr all cut his dick off? CHILL PILL, mAAAAAAN

river wolf, Thursday, 26 April 2007 22:58 (seventeen years ago) link

Edward Scissorhandjobs

Abbott, Thursday, 26 April 2007 23:51 (seventeen years ago) link

this has ruined a perfectly good song for me now.

the next grozart, Friday, 27 April 2007 00:41 (seventeen years ago) link

be glad she didnt put "Hand Job" on the stereo and give you a more than this job

-- mike hanle y, Friday, 2 August 2002 00:00 (4 years ago)

hahahahahahahahaha why is this making me laugh so much

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Friday, 27 April 2007 00:48 (seventeen years ago) link

you are easily entertained.

the next grozart, Friday, 27 April 2007 00:49 (seventeen years ago) link

for your pleasure..

latebloomer, Friday, 27 April 2007 00:52 (seventeen years ago) link

let's stick together

the next grozart, Friday, 27 April 2007 00:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Hanle y = awesome, that is wy you are laughing

HI DERE, Friday, 27 April 2007 01:01 (seventeen years ago) link

steely dan, aja (side one)

félix pié, Friday, 27 April 2007 01:50 (seventeen years ago) link

radiohead, "knives out"

milo z, Friday, 27 April 2007 01:55 (seventeen years ago) link

Willie and The Hand Jive

Hard like armour, Friday, 27 April 2007 02:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Perhaps she was simply referring to the emptiness of the activity. She may get off on bleakness.

moley, Friday, 27 April 2007 02:28 (seventeen years ago) link

A HANDJOB IS A MANSJOB AND A BLOWJOB IS YO JOB

/paulbarman fuck why do i know paul barman
fuck

hurdy girdle, Friday, 27 April 2007 08:08 (seventeen years ago) link

I'm just mixin' things up is all is all.

I know, right?, Friday, 27 April 2007 09:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Ummm, I met a girl last night and she took me to her place and gave me a handjob, but she put on Roxy Musics "More than this" to do it. Should I be worried.

Only when she starts referring to your penis as furry ferry.

nathalie, Friday, 27 April 2007 12:32 (seventeen years ago) link

four months pass...

hopefully learning

gershy, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 05:15 (seventeen years ago) link

More Than This is only like 4:30 - isn't that a bit short for a HJ?

(yes, "isn't that a bit short for a HJ?" - har har har)

StanM, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 07:01 (seventeen years ago) link

I was listening to Patrick Wolf - The Magic Position.
I think this will be my getting it on music for now on.

CaptainLorax, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 07:05 (seventeen years ago) link

i prefer handjobs to 'just like you'

(they wither and fade after blossmin' in spring)

remy bean, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 07:22 (seventeen years ago) link

through alchemy iron turns gold

remy bean, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 07:22 (seventeen years ago) link

quicksilver baby, so hard to be loved

remy bean, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 07:23 (seventeen years ago) link

oh when are you coming around?

remy bean, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 07:23 (seventeen years ago) link

hopelessly grounded, i walk through the streets remembering how we spent time

remy bean, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 07:23 (seventeen years ago) link

hopefully yearning that someday we'll meet -- but when would we, how could we, why?

remy bean, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 07:24 (seventeen years ago) link

But where does one find these girls that give handjobs to a soundtrack of late-period Roxy Music?

King Boy Pato, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 08:43 (seventeen years ago) link

It's kinda pathetic that you would be worried about the choice of music when you're getting a handjob (or BJ or...). Unless it's the Teletubbies theme song of course.

nathalie, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 08:52 (seventeen years ago) link

in my first year at university i recieved a handjob to air bud 2: golden reciever
― creme1, Thursday, April 26, 2007 6:52 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

the last air bud (crüt), Thursday, 1 July 2010 10:42 (fourteen years ago) link

I was listening to Patrick Wolf - The Magic Position.
I think this will be my getting it on music for now on.

― CaptainLorax, Tuesday, 4 September 2007 17:05 (2 years ago)

Can we get an update on how this worked out?

how much can a koala ˁ˚ᴥ˚ˀ (sic), Thursday, 1 July 2010 14:04 (fourteen years ago) link

eleven months pass...

man to think I've only gotten them to stuff like John Mayer....

my downeaster ilxor (Neanderthal), Monday, 6 June 2011 23:47 (thirteen years ago) link

dude

LL Coolna (absolutely clean glasses), Monday, 6 June 2011 23:49 (thirteen years ago) link

nothing could be finer - unless she works in the garden

Latham Green, Monday, 6 June 2011 23:58 (thirteen years ago) link

not sure what a "handjob" is, but i betcha it would go great with "lady in red". ever since i watched that freestyle canoeing video, it's begun to seem appropriate for pretty much every occasion imaginable

dell (del), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 00:22 (thirteen years ago) link

When I was 17 I went away for the summer to a creative writing camp where I wound up meeting my first real boyfriend. A couple weeks in I remember pulling aside this slightly older and more experienced girl Hannah an asking her how to give a hand job. Unfortunately she didn't have much advice because she'd only given them drunk which was O_O to me as I hadn't even had a beer at that point. Anyway, I wound up winging it and it seemed to go over pretty well so it all worked out in the end.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 01:57 (thirteen years ago) link

lol E, scroll up to April 07 & look at yr other post in this thread

markers, Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:06 (thirteen years ago) link

HA, see?! I was right, I haven't forgotten it. That whole thing was an important moment in my uhhh formative years.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:09 (thirteen years ago) link

great thread, creme1 post is one 4 the ages

hilarious meme-related pun (haitch), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:12 (thirteen years ago) link

lol @ that post

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:13 (thirteen years ago) link

yeah, great thread guys, let's all give ourselves a hand- err, scratch that...

dell (del), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:14 (thirteen years ago) link

lol creme1

*plop* crimes (electricsound), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:14 (thirteen years ago) link

Also I feel bad for Neanderthal becasue getting a handjob to John Mayer seems really really depressing. I guess it's better than no hand job at all but it just seems sort of bleak.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:16 (thirteen years ago) link

cosign

dell (del), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:16 (thirteen years ago) link

songs with a permanent hand job attached to them

the girl from spirea x (f. hazel), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:21 (thirteen years ago) link

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

free inappropriate education (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:28 (thirteen years ago) link

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:30 (thirteen years ago) link

i hate it so much

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:30 (thirteen years ago) link

imagining a handjob + that song
is KILLING me

free inappropriate education (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:33 (thirteen years ago) link

I KNOW

it's awful

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:38 (thirteen years ago) link

and hysterical

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:38 (thirteen years ago) link

your penis is a wonderland

Janet Snakehole (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:39 (thirteen years ago) link

There was a line cook I knew who would sing "your body is a wonderland" (the phrase) in a Barney the dinosaur voice –– I was imagining a handjob to the line cook doing that too, tbh. He is totally the kind of guy that would help out like that.

free inappropriate education (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:41 (thirteen years ago) link

I feel regret! in posting that.

free inappropriate education (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:41 (thirteen years ago) link

holy shit this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOnde5c7OG8

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:42 (thirteen years ago) link

lol

I feel regret! in posting that - could easily be appended to like 80% of things I post

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:43 (thirteen years ago) link

oh the video's amazing

<3 this song btw - can't help it

it's just so good

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:43 (thirteen years ago) link

xxxpost hmm I guess it's better than getting a blowjob to "My Stupid Mouth"

my downeaster ilxor (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:43 (thirteen years ago) link

I keep thinking of getting a handjob to "More Than This" by The Cure, which would be one morose handjob

low-rent black gangster nicknamed Bootsy (DJP), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:44 (thirteen years ago) link

every stroke of a cure handjob adds a wrinkle to the palm

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:45 (thirteen years ago) link

I'd kinda like one to Revolting Cocks' "Let's Get PHysical"

my downeaster ilxor (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:45 (thirteen years ago) link

Brian Ferry totally has a high school science teacher vibe in that video.

free inappropriate education (Abbbottt), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 02:53 (thirteen years ago) link

xxxxxxxxoposts goddamnit abbott

dell (del), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 03:17 (thirteen years ago) link

that song is EVIL and not in a good way

dell (del), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 03:25 (thirteen years ago) link

WOW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVsaKG_KcDU

"TUBTHUMPING"!

Mucho! Macho! Honcho! (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 03:36 (thirteen years ago) link

"Who can say where they're blowing"

27 Dresses, 13 Assassins (Eazy), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 13:17 (thirteen years ago) link

"it was fun for a while"

Latham Green, Tuesday, 7 June 2011 13:24 (thirteen years ago) link

There was a line cook I knew who would sing "your body is a wonderland" (the phrase) in a Barney the dinosaur voice

http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/5768/615244-barney_1_large.jpg
"I'll use my hands"

Mark G, Tuesday, 7 June 2011 13:25 (thirteen years ago) link

You know what would be the worst song in this situation? "Fire and Rain."

27 Dresses, 13 Assassins (Eazy), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 13:38 (thirteen years ago) link

10000 maniacs, how you've grown.

Bert Macklin, F.B.I. (thebingo), Tuesday, 7 June 2011 13:39 (thirteen years ago) link

my brother has pointed out to me Barney's motherly figure

Latham Green, Tuesday, 7 June 2011 14:25 (thirteen years ago) link

Brian Ferry totally has a high school science teacher vibe in that video

?

moonship journey to baja, Wednesday, 8 June 2011 03:45 (thirteen years ago) link

He does look like a cross b/w Bill Nye and Carl Sagan imo

indecent butterflies (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 03:54 (thirteen years ago) link

No, they're for when the women are like "meh".

This is often a truthbomb sorry to say btw.

“this dog won’t hunt” doesn’t appear in the Book of Proverbs (Trayce), Wednesday, 8 June 2011 08:32 (thirteen years ago) link

six years pass...

be glad she didnt put "Hand Job" on the stereo and give you a more than this job

-- mike hanle y, Friday, 2 August 2002 00:00

♫ very clever with maracas.jpg ♫ (Le Bateau Ivre), Sunday, 17 December 2017 12:43 (seven years ago) link

Did the op ever make generals rank, or did he fail to achieve 'more than this' in his military career

But doctor, I am Camille Paglia (Bananaman Begins), Sunday, 17 December 2017 13:16 (seven years ago) link

Cool

Ppl r interesting creatures

infinity (∞), Sunday, 17 December 2017 15:27 (seven years ago) link

The Colonel watching himself on a big cinema screen getting a handjob while getting a handjob in the cinema

But doctor, I am Camille Paglia (Bananaman Begins), Sunday, 17 December 2017 15:39 (seven years ago) link

The Colonel ....surely this wasn't...Colonel Poo?!!!

fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Sunday, 17 December 2017 15:41 (seven years ago) link


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