What sorts of ATM transactions take more than 5 minutes?

Serious question.

The ones that occur when you hit the español button by mistake.

i deposited four checks into the atm last night and i'm pretty sure it took me over 5 mins

p unusual situation tho

The ones that happen when you (a) fail to even try reading the instructions (b) think jabbing any old button will give you money (c) have been living in a cave since 1963 (d) are a selfish bastard.

any one at a bank of america atm because they fukken sukk

ppl pay their bills & shit @ atms. u can do quite a bit at them now - transfers, foreign currecny purchases idk what. also ppl updating their bank books. i went to deposit money on the 30th & the woman in front of me was like, doing payroll or s.thing not sure what that was abt

The ONLY time I have ever spent more than 28 seconds at an atm was in Vietnam when the thing threatened to give me 6,000,000 dong and I was all wtf is that and EVEN THEN it took well under five minutes.

Also paying cheques doesn't take much time, you get yr envelope and shove in the cheque and violin, completed transaction in like 43 seconds.

Most ATMs you don't even need envelopes for checks anymore.

how many dong did you end up getting

Checks are fucking annoying btw, but not half as annoying as the fucking bankcard shit that the EDD is foisting on people now INSTEAD of checks.

Most ATMs you don't even need envelopes for checks anymore.

― Fig On A Plate Cart (Alex in SF), Friday, 24 December 2010 09:29 (11 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Ah see our banks keep us in the ice age here, we only just started getting chips on credit cards last year.

Dead set you need a licence to use public machines. Self-service thingoes in supermarkets would be a billion times more pleasant if the old bugger in the cardigan spent 20 seconds learning how to use the bloody thing. Some of us are busy people ffs.

any one at a bank of america atm because they fukken sukk

no way, dude. depending on what you're doing, it can be super fast. i have developed mad skills in the field of "withdraw $20"

- insert card
- wait 2 seconds
- enter PIN in record time (<1 second)
- press fast cash button
- wait 1 second
- press "give me the $20 that I have previously deposited plz" button
- press "no receipt please, I'm trying to set a record over here" button
- wait 3 seconds
- take card, put it back in your wallet during the...
- ...2 second wait...
- grab the cash and take 3-4 quick steps away from the ATM
- CLEAR

20-30 seconds, tops

I have to admit that after I complete the fast transaction I wonder if bystanders have noted the speed of my operation

maybe i dont want the fukken fast cash dude

TAKE IT BACK

I gotta say you must have fast BofA ATMs because all those wait X seconds thing X ++++++ seconds in SF.

my transactions are usually like

person leaves
wait ten seconds because the machine wont accept my card just yet
ding ding ding
insert card
type pin
ding ding ding
check balance
ding ding ding
twenty seconds
return card or another transaction? yes
twenty seconds
withdrawal
ding ding ding
twenty seconds
oh hey my cash
receipt? no
ten seconds
return card? YES FUCKER
ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

Would you like a receipt?
Are You sure?
Last chance
OK then be like that

So fukkin timely, I just came from the BoA at Herald Sq and it was MURDER waiting for that bunch of incompetents.

return card or another transaction? yes

do they still have atms that suck in your card? this is always a little terrifying.

my transactions are usually like

person leaves
wait ten seconds because the machine wont accept my card just yet
if you ask bank of america to install an ATM in your house you'll never have to wait on anyone else and endure the "will not accept" time
ding ding ding
insert card
type pin
ding ding ding
check balance
never check the balance, you can look it up later, preferably while sprinting somewhere to save even more time
ding ding ding
twenty seconds
return card or another transaction? yes
twenty seconds
just think, if you would've skipped the check balance step you would've saved 40 seconds. TIME IS MONEY IN 2010
withdrawal
ding ding ding
twenty seconds
CHUG COFFEE FOR MORE ENERGY
oh hey my cash
receipt? no
nice
ten seconds
return card? YES FUCKER
ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

In Jersey City I lived two doors down from the Fleet branch and that little piece of heaven did ATM transactions at light-speed. Miss it so much.

The absolute worst is those machines that make you enter the amount you wish to withdraw in (e.g.) dollars and cents. If you only dispense cash in $20 and $50 notes, why the cock are you making me enter cents?? Idiot.

So you enter $24.56 for a laugh and it says YOU MUST ENTER $20 OR $50 INCREMENTS, as though you're the stupid one.

I once stood behind a woman, got bored waiting, peered at what she was doing and saw she had a whole stack of cards she was trying, one after the other. I should probably have called the police, but I just went to another machine instead.

hate multi-card arseholes.

also topping up mobile phones, get the fuck out of here.

i was behind a guy recently who was doing the multi-card thing, taking ages, so long in fact that i walked off and found another atm. the first atm was on a road full of strip clubs which i think had something to do with why it was it was taking him so long to locate a bank account with any money in it.

Some of the SAFE credit union ATMS give you your receipt before it gives you your card back. Because I am a moron I have not once but TWICE taken the receipt and walked off with the card still in the machine.

Also Drivethru ATMS are a trap. Almost cracked a rib trying to take my cash.

Pretty impressed with Wells Fargo ATMs that have shortcut buttons to your most frequent transactions e.g. withdraw $40 from checking acct, or check balance in savings, or whatever. I still got stuck behind someone yesterday who managed to spend a good 5 mins at such a machine. I wish the WF ATMs would note that I have no interest in getting a 'plush pony' tho.