People who insist on talking to you even though your wearing headphones

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This happens to me daily. I'm listening to music with my headphones on and at a level where I can't here the gossip around me and people come up to me and yap away. Do they not realize I can't hear a fucking word they are saying or do they do it solely to piss me off. Its really a pet peeve of mine.

― Chris, Monday, 5 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't wear headphones in a public place, it's rude. It's also dumb, as half of the nitwits that walk out in front of traffic are so busy rocking out or talking on cell phones they forget to look for cars.

You only have one life, try enjoying your surroundings.

A helpful browbeating,

Bazooka Joe

― 2, Monday, 5 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Headphones were INVENTED for public places, dolt.

― Sterling Clover, Monday, 5 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

If you are doing this at work they probably are doing it to piss you off because they all hate you. I wear a walkman all the time on tubes and the street except when I'm with someone, and it hardly ever happens that people talk to me. I sometimes wear them at my computer too, and people just attract my attention in some way before speaking and I take them off immediately, being a civilised person.

― Martin Skidmore, Monday, 5 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

You only have one life, so CONTROL your surroundings to the maximum extent!

Emma and I had an argument about this on email the other week. She will kick your @ZZ3Z headphone defenders!

― Tom, Monday, 5 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Take them off when people talk to you, you antisocial cunt.

I feel really guilty when I realise I haven't taken them off when I've been speaking to someone, or even showing my ticket to the train conductor. Normally I only use a walkman when I'm walking or on a bus or train or waiting for one or something - if I'm in a busy street or shops or that kind of thing, then usually I switch it off.

― Graham, Monday, 5 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

The only times I wear headphones around people are at work and on the street. Work is work, so you sort of have to take them off to respond to people. On the street I admit they're sort of an avoidance strategy to I don't have to stop and interact with panhandlers, an activity that can wind up stealing a lot of one's time in this city. No one really bothers you when you have them on: whether it's asking directions or asking for change, there's always some more-convenient headphoneless guy behind you.

The only times I've ever been annoyed about removing headphones have been during long car or air trips, in which case interrupting someone's listening too many times gets a bit like repeatedly waking someone from a nap: no one wants to have to pull them off every three minutes to answer a yes/no question or say "Oh yes, that's interesting." Really only girlfriends can get away with doing this.

― nabisco, Monday, 5 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I wear headphones for my walk (when it's warm) or bus ride (the rest of the year) to work so that I don't get bored and don't have to deal with people. I'll take them off when I'm in a shop, but that's about it. I can't stand it when someone sits next to me on a bus & tries talking to me- and it always seems to be a tourist (or some daft local who sees the need to cart around a Seattle tourist map or guide book) who wants to comment on how look, it's Seattle & it's raining! No shit, genius. Very few things really piss me off as much as this, so I just use my best NJ native glare and ignore them. Someone should deliver an Urban Etiquette Guide to people who come to cities as tourists:
Please don't smile at the locals on the sidewalks, you'll freak them out.
Please don't grumble in the line for an espresso cart that all these fancy coffees being made for the people in front of you take too long & you just want a plain cup of coffee.
Please don't stand in the middle of the narrowest section of sidewalk on a block and gab because then people can't get around you.

― lyra in seattle, Monday, 5 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate when people wearing headphones ask me questions and then make me repeat myself.

― DeRayMi, Monday, 5 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Tom I didn't say it was rude to wear them walking down the street! I said it was rude to wear them at work if you have people coming up to speak to you as it's antisocial & sends out a clear 'fuck off don't talk to me' signal which is often inappropriate in the workplace!

Mind you when tourists come up to me to ask directions on the street and talk for 5 minutes before realising I have headphones on I'm thinking 'oi can you not see the wires coming from my ears or do you just think I'm some kind of robotgirl directions giver employed by the London Tourist Board?'

― Emma, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes but the 'I am very busy concentrating on something very complex and do not want to be distracted by idle chit chat' signal that headphones give out is incredibly useful when you work in a friendly open plan office like mine. Pretty much everyone uses headphones and no one seems to regard it as rude.

― RickyT, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

really the only time i wear them is at work, and it's totally an avoidance strategy (and usually an unsuccessful one at that) to stop my boss wittering on about her new trousers or her sandwich or the cat she met on the way to work or how she went swimming or how she made some soup or how she has squirrels on her roof. you get the picture. also sometimes my work is boring and orbital at loud volumes helps the time pass quicker. i don't think this makes me an antisocial cunt thank you graham.

― katie, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe it is just the places I've worked but it just seems like sitting plugged into your walkman while in a roomful of colleagues is incredibly rude. What about if the phone rings? I know it's not a huge hassle to take them off but still. I disapprove.

― Emma, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't see that it's any ruder than reading a book in a room full of colleagues.

― RickyT, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Well I wouldn't do that either. It's the idea of totally immersing yourself in something that is fairly uninterruptable. OK I am sitting here arsing about on ILE but it's not a big deal for someone to come up and interrupt me. The office isn't necessarily the right place for blocking out all sound and shutting yourself away from other people.

― Emma, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I would go insane if I didn't listen to music at work, no one talks to me much anyway.

― jel --, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I think this comes down to what sort of job you do. Mine necessitates periods of fairly intense concentration on complex ideas and a fair bit of reading of rather dense technical texts, as well as the normal round of design meetings, collaborative work etc. I couldn't do my job if I was worried about appearing rude by getting too involved in what was reading or shutting out outside distractions with music.

― RickyT, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

well, we have radios on in here as well - i can usually hear at least 2 distinct stations/CDs playing at any one time and it can be incredibly irritating. i think that in this case, headphones are by far the politest option, especially if people moan when you ask them to turn their music down. no-one gets bothered by my odd music choices, and i can compile my sales figures (the most tedious job ever btw) in relative peace.

― katie, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I hope you don't sit in design meetings with headphones on. I suppose I am just unlucky that my job involves periods of allowing my attention to flit butterfly like around the room and reading light hearted fashion mags and therefore listening to music would be inappropriate.

― Emma, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

(that was to RickyT obv)

― Emma, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Wearing headphones is rude in any social situation - so the question is, is work a social situation. Often no. After all Emma in your previous job you didn't listen to headphones but you did have a radio on out loud. Some offices of course will have radios on, some will have music on (this can cause selection conflict but this is still a social situation). In my office, which I share for half the week with my assistant, I generally only play music when I am on my own. But I might put The Streets on today because I'm in that kind of mood.

― Pete, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

>I'm listening to music with my headphones on and at a level where I >can't here the gossip around me

this is your problem - they are too loud. keep them at a conversational level and a) you'll notice when someone is talking to you and b) you won't be deaf when you're old.

someone here this morning was listening to the smiths and his phone went twice before he noticed it. can you say 'hearing loss'?

the other alternative, which only works with earphones rather than headphones, is to use just one of them. you can still hear the banging choons* (currently 'Kalimbell' by Experimental Audio Research, not sure i'm enjoying it though) and hold conversations.

btw, what do people listen to at work? mine's 90% instrumental stuff cos i find it hard to read / write code and hear lyrics at the same time. that said, some of the more repetative stuff (seefeel for instance) just trances me out too much and i can't concentrate.

* as i believe you young people call them

andy listening at work

― koogydelbbog, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

The radio is background music (well it was the volume I had it) and my boss bought it for me AND I was in an office all by myself AND not having to answer phones much. I still think wearing a walkman is a way of cutting yourself off from communication / other people and so not necessarily a good idea at work.

― Emma, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha ha, Emma. Well, if you find it easy to concentrate on your work when someone's yapping in your ear about their latest holiday or this tremendously amusing thing they've found on the internet, bully for you. I don't.

I wasn't trying to belittle your job in my post above btw, just trying to point out that jobs vary. You stated yourself that you don't read books at work, and implied that you would find it rude to do so. I do read technical texts at work, because I have to to be able to do my job. Surely this suggests that different levels of shutting yourself off from your colleagues are appropriate in different working environments?

― RickyT, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh no. Yet another thread dissolves into Different Strokes for Different Folks.

I must admit thoug I find it annoying when people walk into the pub with the headphones still on (Ewing). Take them off before you enter the pub!

― Pete, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

But what if you're in the middle of a really gd track? Wait outside the pub until it's finished?

― Andrew L, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I think if that is your problem Andrew it is imperative you go back to the shop and get a new life, your current one is not working up to specification. This is not a question anyone need ever ask of themselves.

― Pete, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh dear when RickyT said 'do you read books' I thought he meant as in non work related books which he obviously didn't. Anyway I think this proves beyond all question that women /ladies / girls are better at multitasking than men.

― Emma, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Now I know why you never post on 'I Love Music' Pete. 'Cos plainly, you don't! (smiley face smiley face)

― Andrew L, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I Love Pint more....

― Pete, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I've never worked anywhere where listening to music was allowed (hopefully I'll be working somewhere soon where listening to music is essential). I still find it difficult to imagine open plan offices with everyone plugged into their CD-ROM drives. What room for hilarious cross-office japes? Oh yeah, e-mail... *groan*

Andy: some headphones do offer a degree of insulation from the outside world which means you don't have to be listening all that loud to be oblivious to your surroundings. I've managed to miss a train pulling up at a platform barely 20 feet away (I was looking the other way) in the past. I'm not saying this is a *good* thing.

― Michael Jones, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Extensive construction work all round my building means that loads of people have sought refuge in headphones or earplugs (I go for earplugs and radio turned up very loud, but it doesn't matter cos no-one can hear over the drilling and their own noise-blocking devices). Conversation in hallways is now limited to shouting 'I CAN'T HEAR YOU I'M WEARING HEADPHONES/EARPLUGS' accompanied by exaggerrated gesturing towards ears and goonish facial expressions, which is a significant improvement, I think.

― Ellie, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Katie: I meant when people are actually trying to talk to you - if they're just yapping like your boss then headphones are OK, but I'm not sure if the question refers to that or people trying to have a conversation or ask you something.

― Graham, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Take them off when people talk to you, you antisocial cunt. Thanks Graham, bluntly put. I do take them off, its not that i refuse. But why do they start up a conversation when they know I can't here them. They always come off.

― Chris, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Bah I reserve the right not to have a conversation. If it's a friend obviously not wanting to talk to them is rude but when I get a taxi home on Saturday nights I always turn my discman on. And sometimes I feel vaguely bad when the taxi driver says something but to be honest I'd rather listen to music and enjoy the last 30 minutes of my Saturday night than hear another story about a "fucking spanish student" and "she asked me how much to the city centre so I said I'm not a fuckin mind reader am I? hahaha". Yeah good man.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

And by the way Graham, I'm not antisocial but I appreciate your fucking assumption.

― Chris, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

But it's not that clear whether the other person can hear you - I get annoyed when people assume I can't hear a thing because I've got them in. Maybe they just think the best way of testing is to start talking? And maybe you should be more grateful (I'd better end this sentence here).

― Graham, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I think this comes down to what sort of job you do. Mine necessitates periods of fairly intense concentration on complex ideas

eg. Rockism

and a fair bit of reading of rather dense technical texts

eg Me vs Girls FITE

as well as the normal round of design meetings

eg Oh No, FITE, Oh No!!

collaborative work

eg Cast The ILE Movie

― Tom, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Plus this only happens at work, I don't wear my headphones outside of the office. But thanks for calling me a cunt I appreciate it. Nice way to start my day.

― Chris, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

and now im going to put my headphones on and pretend I can't hear a word you are saying.

― Chris, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

i too reserve the right not to have a conversation if i don't want one! i mean, FFS... plus: re tom's observations above, IT'S A FAIR COP!

― katie, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, but Katie, you'd take them off if someone was actually trying to tell you something or ask you something, rather than chat? I meant that it's supremely antisocial to be against those damn people trying to interact with you, which it is. The question implies to me Chris is against *everyone*.

― Graham, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Hold up - where does it say in that (admittedly very flawed document) the Universal Declaration of Human Rights that we have the right not to have conversations? Surely this is tied up directly in the right to education.

And stating you have the right not to have a coversation = the right not to have a dialogue = plunging the world into war (cf the right of the Israeli's not to have a dialogue with the Palestinians).

― Pete, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

pete, don't be *silly*. and graham, when my boss stops screeching my name to make me take my headphones off, and when i do, saying "you're eating cucumber again" as if this is some kind of earth-shattering revelation, i'll admit that you have a point. but i think calling chris a cunt was a little uncalled for.

― katie, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

And I do take them off Graham if someone is talking to me, its not that I would rather not talk to them. What annoys me is when they see you wearing them and start talking before you take them off. I may miss the first three words of a sentence and then I have to ask them to repeat themselves. Heres the scenario : I'm working on my pc and can't see over my cube, someone leans over my cube with me completely oblivious that they are there. They start talking and I catch them out of the corner of my eye and they have been talking for 10 seconds. Thats what gets me, when I can't barely see them nor hear them. PLus Im half these peoples manager and if I didn't take them off it would be bad for business wouldn't you think. Im not a stupid CUNT...

― Chris, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Like Mike, I find the concept of an office full of people listening to headphones quite depressing.

― N., Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks katie.

― Chris, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

What Mike and Nick said (i.e. like what I meant only less ANGRY god I'm feeling mean & bitchy today heh heh heh).

― Emma, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Bbbbut it's a rare day when everyone in the office is wearing headphones. Being allowed to wear headphones != everyone does all the time. The utility of headphones only really comes into play if you're office is quite chatty anyway, so you tend to get a few people beavering away whilst plugged into their puter while everyone else is involved in the general hubbub.

― RickyT, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah but it is the thin end of the wedge!

― Emma, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

*looks up hopefully* wedge... of PIZZA!?!

― katie, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Thin end of the wedge? Are you some sort of BINARYIST?

― RickyT, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Well I suppose it's different if you can't see them either, though they may just be assuming you *can* hear them over your music. From your question I was imagining people coming and standing in front of you and talking and you just staring at them and making smug "I can't hear you, you stupid stupid twunt". I'm glad you clarified.

[cunt referred to anyone who does what you described, not just personally you, though it was a bit harsh. Sorry]

― Graham, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm lucky coz I work in a two person library. So, like listening to headphones isn't an issue, except when you are both listening to headphones and you don't hear the phone ringing.

― jel --, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

apology accepted Graham. *puts headphones back on*

― Chris, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

This happens on family car drives quite a lot. I turn off my music but leave on my headphones when I realize someone's talking to me, so they always think i can't hear them and stop in the middle and I say "go on" and they say "but you're not listening" and i say "yes i am" and they say "but you've got yr headphones on don't you?"

Obviously it would be much easier to just take the headphones off, but I always forget once the music's off.

Working in an office sounds rotten.

― Maria, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

The trick is to luck into the right kind of office, Maria.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

> I still find it difficult to imagine open plan offices with everyone plugged into their CD-ROM drives.

everybody's ears plugged into their pcs, everybody staring at their monitors, it's like that film (which i can't remember the name of. brazil? star wars?). there's only a few of us who do it but it's handy when you need to concentrate.

(rock lobster now. have about 30 or so hours of mps, all ripped from cds i own, on random rotation. like radio 1 without the crap)

anyway, what i don't like is when people start talking to you without getting your attention first. 'excuse me, andy' or 'oi, gitface' is all it takes, rather than launching into a sentence whilst stood behind me and expecting me to know who they're talking to.

andy

― koogydelbbog, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

My solution to this whole problem has been to make sure that no one wants to talk to me.

― nabisco, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

(Oi gitface - I'm still impressed with Beths Buffy news).

― Sarah, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Not that it's new, really, but it will be new to me.

― Sarah, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Err seriously though: there is a weird assumption here that coworkers chat spontaneously, which is true maybe for the hall space of my workplace but not so much for the cubes and offices. I get maybe three contiguous hours a day of sitting at-desk and working, uninterrupted apart from the occasional person dropping something in my box or popping in with a quick question, and this is headphone- time without question: at worst I'll have to pop them off for an incoming phone call or because I'm looking straight at someone walking up to my desk with a folder in her hand and a question-face on. The rest of the day's tasks require occasional movement around the office, so plugging in during the desk-bound periods isn't worth the trouble.

― nabisco, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually put this another way: surely wearing headphones is, in the end, far less antisocial toward those around you than being on the phone.

― nabisco, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

it's like that film
Flash Gordon innit?

http://www.gosub600.com/flashgordon/flash111.jpg

― Simeon, Tuesday, 6 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

So, what kind of job lets you walk around in headphones all day anyway, mail-room attendent, custodian, what? How low on the totem pole do you have to be to where no one cares what you do?

Bazooka Joe

― 2, Saturday, 10 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

>it's like that film... >Flash Gordon innit?

flash gordon, yes, thankyou

andy

― koogydelbbog, Monday, 12 August 2002 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

I'm wearing these headphones so you don't have to listen to me watch random youtube videos and listen to these mp3s I know you won't like. I'm doing this as a favor to you. I am not interested in discussing trivia right now about whatever movie you're watching on AMC. Stop talking to me.

― Kerm, Saturday, 14 July 2007 17:47 (seventeen years ago)

two years pass...

I'm in Wilkinson looking for carpet shampoo. It's a hot day. I'm wearing a hat, shades, shorts and a t-shirt. Oh, and I have my walkman on.

So this middle-aged guy who looked like an out of work trucker comes up and starts mouthing words at me, so I'm forced to remove my headphones and go "eh?"

He sighs, and with a defeated hang-dog expression barks "Dog Department?"

I just wave my hand towards the pet food aisle.

― village idiot (dog latin), Monday, 21 June 2010 15:33 (fourteen years ago)

dude in a van tailed me for 30 seconds while i was jogging lately trying to get directions. i'd normally be mr helpful, but it was a timed run, had headphones in, the lot. just lept waving him on while trying not to pass out tbh. was irrationally annoyerd at him, but he wasn't exactly my #1 fan either AFAIR

― Remember when Mr Banhart was a replicant? (darraghmac), Monday, 21 June 2010 15:36 (fourteen years ago)

eight years pass...

This is . . . something.

what the actual fuck have I just seen on Facebook??? Believe it or not, people with headphones in want you to fuck off don’t chat to me you weirdos pic.twitter.com/7inZS23U6J
— R U B Y ♡ R Ø S E (@rubexcubex) September 2, 2018

― Eliza D., Wednesday, 5 September 2018 13:13 (six years ago)

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People who insist on talking to you even though your wearing headphones - C or D?